𝕮𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡
━━ 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙎 𝘼𝘽𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒

━━ 𝘊𝘙𝘠𝘓𝘓𝘌𝘚
𝟸𝟹 𝙱𝙱𝚈

The adrenaline from their chase is still pumping through her veins as the speeder's engine begins to stutter.

"Uh oh," Anakin remarks anxiously, peering down the speeder.

"It's probably just exhausted," Selyn tries to argue, growing slightly nervous.

But they haven't even crossed half of the canyon as it gives out, coughing steam with the finality of an old man refusing to walk any longer.

Anakin jumps off the speeder and Selyn follows suit. He crouches down to examine the motor for some time, listening to its faint humming, knocking against different parts and trying all kinds of tricks to get it going again. Selyn has never felt so useless as she does now, waiting beside him in the still-warm sand and watching helplessly as the sun begins to disappear behind the horizon.

"Overheated," is his diagnosis as he rises again. "And there's something stuck in the engine. We will have to wait for it to cool off and then I'll have to disassemble the engine and build it back together in the daylight."

"In the daylight?" Selyn echoes. "So we will have to stay here for the night?" Something strange makes her blood boil, this peculiar mixture of nervosity and excitement.

"I fear so."

They stand for a moment, adjusting to this new situation. Both unsure what to do next. But she tries to brush it off the best she can. "The spirits forbid us to cross the desert at night anyways - you'll see why."

Anakin nods curtly, bending over to inspect the speeder again.

"I'll go gather some wood," Selyn says awkwardly as it becomes obvious he won't say anything else, turning and walking towards the side of the canyon, planning to climb to ground level again where she knows she will find some dry bushes. Luckily the part of the canyon they're stranded in isn't too deep, so it's only a short climb.

Selyn quickly reaches the top and begins to gather firewood from the sparce vegetation surrounding her. After some time, Anakin joins her, quietly beginning to work.

He has found a canister of water after rummaging through the speeder as well as some dried fruit. They decide to light a fire at the top of the canyon and eat there since they have a better overview of their surroundings from this higher vantage point. They save some wood for later since they will sleep next to their speeder inside the canyon, knowing it will offer more protection from the ruthless wind that picks up during the night.

Anakin points towards the fire he started, the flames cracking merrily and gives her a half-smile. He looks a little proud.

Selyn gives him a thumbs-up. "Well done, you."

It is almost cosy beside their fire as they share their supplies. Night has begun to fall, and the outline of the dunes grow more and more blurry, increasingly hard to distinguish against the darkening sky.

Selyn would have expected their company being forced on each other like it is now to be endlessly awkward, but it's quite the opposite.

Here, far out in the desert, next to Anakin she feels as peaceful as never before. Her worries, the order's expectations and her own draining ambition are as far away as the stars twinkling above them. A strange feeling swells in her chest as she sits there, in an endless expanse of rolling dunes and sweet wind, next to him. For the first time in ages, she allows herself to breathe freely, in this breeze that carries unfamiliar scents of adventure and freedom.

A thought strikes like lightning.

What if she was free?

Free of this world where fate was sealed with the first rays of suns touching her face, free of its unmoving paths and scary destinies.

She thinks of the dragon and its horrible fate.

Of course, seeing that dragon today scared her. This raw power, the violent destructive nature of it, ruthless as flames tearing down whole worlds, it made her tremble, deep, deep down. But deep down a part of her had also recognized this power as her equal. Even if she wouldn't admit it, she knows this destructive nature slumbers within her. She just hopes, prays, it is buried deep enough to never see the light's day.

Selyn shakes the thought off. The night is too mild and too rich with possibility to allow herself to be weighed down by thoughts like that.

Naturally, her mind wanders off to the boy sitting next to her. They have grown from estranged friends and rivals to something more. She has nurtured this tender friendship blooming between them, has encouraged it, and enjoyed having him by her side. They have forged an unbreakable bond of mutual trust and understanding during their time on Crylles.

She should just be content with seeing Anakin as a newly gained friend. Should forget what passed between them on the market and on the roof the day before. Should forget the treacherous flutter of her heart whenever he is near.

And yet, she can't.

When she was younger Selyn had often heard whispered stories about jedi who had broken the code, who had dared to form attachments and to open their heart to someone entirely.

Only quiet rumours, about lover's longing gazes, about temptation arising strong like waves, washing away their devotion to the code.

Leaving a fresh new shore, white as new beginnings.

Selyn had often wondered if she would be strong enough to resist this temptation and battle those forbidden feelings, if her devotion to the code would stand strong like a rock in troubled water.

Now she looks at Anakin, his soft smile, the tentative gazes she feels lingering on her every now and then, light as sunbeams.

And now she knows.

She is not.

But maybe this is a battle she doesn't want to win.

The fire paints Anakin's face in a soft, warm glow as he gazes into the distance.

"I really hate the desert," he says. "I've grown to hate it on Tatooine, and I've disliked it ever since."

Selyn gives him a sympathetic look. She's not pitying him; she knows that he wouldn't want that. "It's understandable," she says carefully. "Surely a lot of horrible memories must be tied to that place."

"There are." He doesn't go on further, and she suddenly realizes that it's not from the lack of a trust between them as it would have been a few weeks ago. She also realizes that she would have gladly listened to anything he had to say, if that made him feel better and she knows that he knows that, too.

But maybe he just doesn't want to ruin this quiet, pure moment that is like untouched clay between their careful hands, prepared to be moulded into whatever shape they desire.

And so she says: "I've never hated the desert. It's rough, yes, it's unforgiving and terrifying, but I think there's a beauty in that. The desert is simple and indifferent – if you're strong enough, you survive, if you're not, you don't. Just as easy as that."

He gives her an odd look. It's not hostile, no, it's just one she can't decipher. "So you like that the desert is not alive like we are?"

Selyn shrugs. "I think I just prefer the cruelty of nature over the cruelty of men."

He is contemplating her words, gazing into the dunes rolling towards the horizon. "One could say that they're the same. We're all creatures of nature, following a vicious cycle of killing and fighting."

"When humans kill, it's out of hate. Or desperation. Or sentiment. When the desert kills, it's not personal. There's no grudge or bloodshed over that deed, it's just the way of nature. The desert takes the same from everyone. There's a comfort in that, knowing that it just isn't about you."

"You're saying that if we're shedding blood we should be indifferent about it."

"No," she says. "I don't know. I think I just envy this indifference. For the dunes, it's easy. The ones who are stupid enough to get lost in them, die. They don't have a conscience; they don't have guilt. For us, it's different. I feel like our world is made of threads connecting everything. If you tip the scale to one side the consequences of it will spread everywhere, inevitable, and maybe brutal, even. There's no taking back. And then you must live with that. Forever."

"I think our conscience is what makes us human," he says. "It gives our actions a weight, a meaning."

"I know it does." She twists her braid. "I know it's important. But I just think that the galaxy is at unrest. There might be hard times ahead for all of us, and I'm not sure if I'm made for this world of threads binding the fates of all living beings together. I'm scared of unknowingly doing something I'll regret forever."

"That you're scared of this is good," Anakin reminds her. "It will help you to make the right choices. And you're allowed to make mistakes."

"No, I'm not," she protests. "Not with the power I hold as a Jedi."

"But you can't learn another way. Obi-Wan says, there are some lessons that can only be taught by making mistakes." A small breeze, bringing the coolness and the sweet scent of the night ruffles his hair. "Yes, the desert doesn't have the difficulty of choosing who lives and who dies. But it also doesn't have the power to tip the scales to the right side. But you can make a difference, Selyn, either for better or for worse, and even if one of those possibilities scares you, you're still given the chance to become something great. Don't forget that."

Selyn nods. "I won't."

She's a bit intimidated by how much she revealed to him, but at the same time it's thrilling. Exciting. A little more information won't hurt.

"Maybe I'm just scared of finding my place in this world," she admits.

Anakin gives her a reassuring look. "To be honest, I think everyone is. Even Obi-Wan and Nadia."

The thought is absurd to Selyn, and yet, somewhat comforting. "So you are scared, too?"

He laughs. "Of course I am. Sometimes I feel as if I am captured in... in some strange world, and tomorrow I will wake up by my mother's side and a little boy again. But I am sure we will figure it out. Both of us."

The unspoken word together hangs in the silence between them, something like a promise, something that will bind them together if they allow it, something Selyn isn't brave enough to voice yet.

Night engulfs them now, erasing the details in the landscape around them and shrouding them in this absolute darkness you will only find deep in the desert.

Selyn gazes up to the stars, realizing she doesn't even recognize any of the constellations.

Part of her wants to share that sad thought with him, but another part feels stupid revealing she doesn't know something as simple as that about her home. And so she lets herself fall into the silence enveloping them both.

"We should get down again," Anakin says as their fire dies out, feeling the cold seeping through his robes.

He rises to go back to their speeder, but Selyn grabs a hold of his sleeve.

"Just...wait. Just a moment. You won't regret it, I promise."

He settles down next to her again, and they return to gazing into the darkness. He can tell that she's waiting for something to happen and anticipation builds in his stomach.

Then he sees it. At first, he thinks that it's his mind playing tricks, it looks like a star fallen onto the planet's surface, glowing with faint silver light. It seems to be unfurling and growing, like petals, like...like a flower.

"Is this..." he hesitates. He has only heard of something like this in stories to this day.

"Moon flowers," Selyn whispers softly, as if worried to scare them away. "Some say it's Avaar's way of greeting her lover. Some say it's a gift from the moon spirit, blessing the desert with her magic."

Others join, blooming in the darkness, opening their delicate moonlit blossoms. As if the desert was mirroring the night sky above.

Anakin falls silent, mesmerized once again by the beauty the galaxy has to offer. He thinks of that nine-year-old slave boy who would have never believed what he was seeing now.

"It's beautiful," Selyn whispers, more to herself. Because when Anakin turns he sees that she is lost in silent awe, eyes shimmering.

He stays silent, not wanting to disturb her. This is her private moment.

So they sit for some time, gazing into the desert, the silver flowers glowing against the dark outlines of the dunes.

After some time Selyn turns to him once more and he takes that as an invitation to talk again.

"How is this possible?"

Selyn smiles. "The desert is alive. It is the spirit's greatest gift. There are myriads of tiny organisms living in those sands, too small for us to really see them. The seeds of the moon flowers are one of them. They can only bloom in the night when the temperature is low enough."

Anakin turns to the sleeping dunes again. He'd been a fool to think that this landscape was as barren and dead as it seemed.

"Even though, there are less than last time," She says.

The thought makes him sad "That's terrible."

"It's not." She laughs. "It's funny that only civilization deems death as something bad. Here on Crylles, it's a part of the journey."

Anakin tilts his head slightly. "I like that approach, even though it's not one I would agree upon."

She looks at him curiously. "It's what the Jedi say, too. But don't worry, I don't like it much either. However, in the desert, it's the way of life. As we're nearing the great fires again the water inside the dunes seeps lower and lower. All those microorganisms I told you about, they slowly die until in about three years' time they will be set on fire by the mad dragons. Flames will dance across the dunes, and it will look as if the desert itself is burning."

At her words goosebumps involuntarily form on his skin as images form before his eyes. When he looks at her, he thinks that for a heartbeat a red glow flickers across her face, even though their fire is long dead.

"And after that, new life will come," she continues calmly. "The organisms that survived will come out of their hiding again and as the water rises, they will grow and thrive. The Moon flowers will return, they always do."

The thought is strangely comforting. That here on Crylles there will always be beauty despite it all.

"I like that," he says. "Thank you...thank you for showing me this."

Selyn dips her head, a slight smile on her lips. "Of course."

As the temperature drops more and more, Anakin suggests again returning to their speeder. Selyn agrees and after carefully stomping out the flames the climb down the rocks again, the water canister secured at her belt, Anakin carrying the wood.

They light a second, smaller fire next to their shadowy form of their speeder. Selyn lays her robe onto the ground in the attempt to form a makeshift bed.

"I...uh, the temperature will be dropping quickly from now on," she says. The sand and stones don't exactly store the day's heat. "Maybe we should uhm, sleep next to each other for warmth."

"Alright," Anakin says evenly, laying his robe down next to hers.

Anakin sprawls on the ground, hands behind his head, looking up towards Selyn who has started pacing around their little campsite. She knows she is being childish in resisting to lie down next to him, but she can't help but feel as if this will send the remains of her restraint crumbling do the ground. Because out here, in the desert, the thread still binding her to the Jedi Code is more fragile than ever before.

"I won't bite, you know," he says mockingly.

She doesn't answer. She feels as if all the words she fought to keep down the past few days threaten to burst out, and if she opens her mouth, she won't be able to stop them from being said. From changing her life forever.

"I'm not tired yet," she finally answers.

"Well, I am, and if you continue to pace around like that I won't be able to sleep at all."

She comes to a halt, standing with her back towards him. "Happy now?"

Selyn hears him move behind her as he sits up. "Actually, no, not at all." His tone changes, and she can feel that he has realized what possibility this moment holds, how terrifyingly, incredibly close she is to turning around to him and doing something wonderfully stupid.

"What are you so scared of, Selyn?" She can feel his gaze on her back like a ghostly touch.

What is she so scared of?

Maybe the thought that what she has been holding on to her entire life is something she now finds to be flawed, something she doesn't wholeheartedly agree with. Maybe the inevitable consequence she has to draw from that, the idea that she has to define what is right or wrong for herself from now on. Maybe the thought that the path she is about to embark on is one she was never prepared for to walk, one that will set her apart from the whole order.

Maybe it is this unsettling side-effect of growing up – this loss of certainty, of that idealistic, simple view that once allowed her to navigate the world easily. Maybe it is the realization that now that she has left these days behind, she has woken up in a reality that is infinitely more complex and tangled than she could have ever imagined.

Maybe she is scared because she knows she can't choose the easy way now anymore. That if she lies down next to him, she might never want to leave again. That if she takes this step now, there won't be any turning back.

Selyn wraps her arms around her chest, still gazing into the night. "I...I don't know."

He stands up, still staying a few feet away. "What is it that you want, then?"

Too much. I want too much. I want more than I am allowed to wish for.

Her breath catches as her mouth tries to form the words her heart has been screaming at her for days now.

I want you, all of you.

Selyn feels as if she is torn apart from two different sides, from what she should be and who she wants to be. One part of her is fighting the other, waging war in her heart, corrupting this battlefield with its forbidden desires, and she knows that the side of her that burns brightly, that dreams boldly, that carries the melody of the desert, of sweet, starry nights will claim victory.

Because she cares for him. Wildly, violently, without restraint. She has known she will surrender at last for a long time, so why not now?

Selyn's chest is falling and rising rapidly now, she can hear her heartbeat thumping in her ears as she is so painfully, acutely aware of how he has come closer now, how all she has to do is turn around and face him.

What do you want?

"I want you to keep your promise," she whispers as his hand slides down her bare arm. She turns halfway, and finds his eyes locked on her face. His riddle. His quest. "I want to tell everyone else that we are just friends, and I want it to be a lie."

He smiles. "I think we can arrange that."

And then, finally, she gives in. Finally, she feels the soft press of his lips against hers, feels his arm around her waist as he pulls her closer against his chest, the feather-light touch of his other hand as it travels over her shoulder and finds its place at the back of her head, feels his warm skin and the soft hair between her fingers at the nape of his neck.

Her hand lies over his heart and she can sense his heart beating just as fast as hers, as their kiss deepens, as she searches to erase all the space between them.

When they break apart Selyn isn't sure if minutes or hours or even days have passed. Time seems to have lost its meaning when she is losing herself in his touch.

He presses a kiss atop her forehead. "I knew you didn't stand a chance against me and my charm. Never did."

"You can be unbelievably arrogant, did someone ever tell you that?"

"Yes. You. Repeatedly. Daily, actually." Anakin tucks a lost strand of hair behind her ear. "But do you want to know how I knew?"

"How?"

"Because I never stood a chance, either."

✧･ﾟ:* 𝕬𝘜𝘛𝘏𝘖𝘙'𝘚 𝘕𝘖𝘛𝘌 *:･ﾟ✧

YASSSS

IT HAPPENED

GIMME YOUR THOUGHTS

this chapter is by far one of my favourites not only because of THE KISS but also because of desert, the vibes, the flowers, the deep talk they have which I think gives a wonderful insight to both their personalities 😙 i loved loved writing this one!!

anyways hope you enjoyed this treat <3

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