XIV. 1919

TW | mentions of r*pe

Polly entered the room again, with the box in hand. She saw her niece stare into space, barely noticing the presence beside her.

What the girl was looking into was the hazel eyes she had inherited from her mother. She sat there so still. Usually she was in a fresh dress, her hair in a half up-half down style like before and she be talking or singing.

But now she sat there, almost mocking her daughter in the nightgown she wore the day she died with her hair all knotted and leaves and twits tangled into it. Her skin was more paler than she remembered. There was no smile on her face, just a blank stare.

Vivian remembered everything about the day she saw her mum floating in the canal. And while her family tried to forget it and move on, they would always remember the blood-curdling scream that escaped her mouth at the sight of the woman that was her mother.

Polly watched as her niece's eyes never left the armchair. She placed the box on the table, harshly, trying to get her attention but she didn't move. There was no reaction. Her aunt was a bit taken aback by how still she sat.

Polly guessed what had happened but she hoped Vivian would tell her it wasn't what she assumed.

Even when she sat down beside her, there was no movement. She seemed distracted. Polly decided to get check her shoeless feet. She had pieces of glass scattered around her skin but Polly didn't know how long she had been walking with glass in her feet.

She was barefoot which made Polly more certain the cuts were infected. Polly began taking the pieces out of her niece's feet, as well as blood, dirt and gravel that covered her feet.

Using the tweezers, Polly removed the pieces, one by one, looking up at Vivian every time she removed a piece. Vivian only flinched a little as her eyes stuck to the armchair still.

The wounds were cleaned and bandaged but there was many other cuts and gashes over the rest of her body.

Her aunt came up beside the girl, gently shaking the girl, "Vivian?"

—

    "What a day it has been and its not even noon." Her mother spoke, as the water ran down her face.

"You're not going to answer your mum?" She asked, concern now evident although to Vivian, it didn't feel genuine or like she cared. This was the mother who left. The mother who went insane. Not the one that visited on random occasions. Not the one who sang to her children before bed.

"I can help. I'm here." Vivian looked her up and down seeing what she saw all those years ago. She wasn't there, nor was she helpful. She couldn't even remember if she was ever helpful when she was alive. Vivian was too young to remember what she was like before she had Finn, and even at that, she wasn't the same mother her older siblings had.

Shaking her head, she started tearing up. She wanted to speak to her but she couldn't find the words. She didn't have anything to say at that moment — to anyone.

"It's just life. Life is hard. Living is cruel." Maeve told her simply, "nothing is cruel where I am now."

She continued, with a frown, "You should visit me for a change."

More and more tears fell from her eyes as she lost her breath. Her mother was still sat there, speaking as if everything was fine. She spoke to her daughter but Vivian didn't want to listen to this version of her mother.

Her hands came to her chest, feeling her heart rate pick up. She was trying to calm herself down and escape Maeve's presence but nothing could drown out her mother's words.

She wanted to get up and walk away but couldn't. She was shaking.

—

    Wide-eyed, Polly watched as her niece's become breathless. From completely zoned out to having a panic attack. The woman got down on the floor, and hunched down in front of the girl.

Her hands came to either side of Vivian's head, forcing her to look at her. Vivian eyes were squeezed shut although tears still streamed down pale face.

"Vivian" She spoke loudly, pushing the hair out of the girl's face, "Vivian!" She repeated louder. Polly didn't know what to do. Usually she had all the answers but now she was lost. She felt helpless. Seeing the girl she raised break down like this, broke her heart.

The girl she treated like a daughter.

—

    There was a sudden change near her.

She didn't hear her mother's voice, nor feel her presence.

She smelt something familiar, it was perfume.

—

11th November, 1914 | Birmingham

    The boys had been gone a few months but the war was almost over, so Vivian tried to think of it that way. She'd just have to wait til Christmas, and the boys just had to last another few weeks.

It was Polly's birthday but she didn't like to celebrate it. Never did, but ever since her children were taken away she didn't even want to acknowledge it.

But Vivian wanted to get her something. There was a lot of pressure on the woman ever since Maeve Shelby passed and now with the boys gone and a business to run, it was harder. She deserved something nice, especially in her birthday.

Ada was locked away in her room and Finn was fast asleep while Vivian was sat on her bedroom floor, wrapping up the present she had saved up for. She wasn't great at wrapping and was making an awful job of it.

First, she wrapped the gift and then spilled whiskey over it. Then she ended up having to re-do it and the next time she stuck her pinky to the box and lastly, she ran out of tape. But she got there in the end.

She wrote a small note as well — short and sweet:

To aunt Pol,
Happy birthday, hope you like the present

Love from Vivian, Finn, xx
P.S. The boys send there love
and wish you a happy birthday to.

She wrote the message, signing Finn's name with hers. She smiled down at the paper. Closing the pen, she folded the note over. She tip-toed out of her bedroom and down the hall. She gently knocked on the door, "Ada!" She whispered loudly, "sign this for Polly."

Sliding the note under the door, she heard the bed and floorboards creak. She hoped there wasn't a pen in there, just so she could see her sister. Ada barely left her room since the boys left. But the message was slid back under and the space she had left for Ada's name was filled:

To aunt Pol,
Happy birthday, hope you like the present

Love from Viv, Finn, Ada xxx
P.S. The boys send their love
and wish you a happy birthday too.

"Do you want to come down with me?" Vivian asked through the door, "Ada?" She knocked on the door, but she didn't answer, "alright night. Love ya." Vivian went back down to her room and got the present from her room before going down stairs. Polly often worked late, either checking the books or doing the dishes.

The girl knocked on the door kitchen door, while Polly sat there drinking. Vivian thought it would be better to give her gift late in the day. Her aunt wanted people to forget her birthday so she could too. She thought it would be best to give it to her at the end of her birthday so it didn't ruin the day.

The older woman turned to see Vivian. She wasn't surprised to see Vivian. Her niece was stood in the door way, with her hands behind her back

"Oh god what is this?" Polly sighed, seeing the girl's grin.

"I know you hate your birthday." Polly was already prepared for this today. She knew someone would mention her birthday, "But we decided to get you something." She placed a box on the table with the folded note taped on top as well as a crumbled letter.

"We?" Polly asked, taking the note off the wrapped package.

"All of us. But if you don't like it — it was all me."

Polly read the note. She saw where Ada had signed her name in a different, less worn out, pen than the pen that was used to write the rest. She assumed Vivian was in charge of the message. The aunt also saw where Ada had corrected Vivian's grammar and added an extra 'x'.

She smiled down at the note before tearing the letter off. She peeled open the letter. It was a letter from the boys.

Dear Polly
We hope you are having a good birthday and hope your feet are up while the girls do all the chores and work. Cant wait to see you all and celebrate your birthday properly. We'll have a big party for you when we are back.
From love, Arthur.

To Polly
Happy birthday. We have been told not to swear in this and Arthur has had to re-do his letter six times and this is my third. Hope you are getting spoilt and as your favourite nephew, you can have the day off, hell, the week off.
See you soon, John.

Dear Pol
Happy birthday. It actually took John nine times to write a letter without swearing and Arthur eleven. Sorry we cant be there but when we are there, your birthday celebration will put the king's to shame. I hope you like your present.
Thomas.

The family hadn't heard from the boys in weeks and Polly teared up a bit reading their shit handwriting. Vivian had them send a birthday letter in August, but they still hadn't received anything from them since the end of September.

Polly wiped her eyes before any tears fell and took the gift in her hands, "What is it?" Pol asked.

"Open it." Vivian said to her aunt, "but be careful."

Polly opened the brown paper slowly in case something popped out or broke. Peeling away the paper, she saw a damage box but it appeared expensive, way too expensive. Polly saw the brand on the front and knew what it was but needed to open it fully to be sure.

And she was right. It was a bottle of perfume. One she saw a long time ago and always liked the scent of. She couldn't find it anywhere she went after that. But now she looked down at it, unable to believe it was in her hands. She looked up to her niece and saw her grin, barely able to contain her excitement.

"You didn't have to- how did you even afford it or get it?" Polly fussed.

"You deserve it. And we all put are money together over the years. Arthur, Tom, John, Ada, me, Kol and Ryan, uncle Charlie. Everyone, including Sarah." Vivian said, watching how Polly reacted to the name.

"Sarah? So that's how you know about this-" Polly stopped herself.

The girl left not to long ago and she missed her. Polly loved Sarah for everything she did for the family. She was selfless, kind, caring, soft. The older woman admired her nephew's friend and everyone thought she would hate the girl for leaving the family but she actually didn't hate her as much as they thought she would. Polly knew the young woman needed to do something for herself, although she did despised her for leaving without a goodbye. But nevertheless, she wished her the best.

"Yeah, she told Thomas about it after that one trip to London and he told us. We've all been saving up for a while. Anyway, might as well tell you to get it out there, a few weeks ago me and Ryan took the family car and drove up to London."

"What? You and Ryan did what? Vivian Shelby, you better be joking?" Polly shouted.

Vivian spoke, "Good thing I am. Of course we didn't drive up. We took the train."

Polly wanted to shout but her eyes went back to the letters from the boys and she stopped herself. "If you ever think of doing something like that again, I won't think twice to give you a good hiding and take your door off."

"And I'll be having a word with that Jones boy. Stupid kids, you both are." She muttered the last bit under her breath.

"You're welcome for the gift by the way." Vivian spoke sarcastically.

Polly got up and hugged the girl, "Thank you." She whispered, placing a kiss on the girl's head. Vivian hadn't seen anyone in her family this at peace in months, abbé years, now that she thought about it.

The older woman tried it on her wrists first. Polly seem content with her present. It was a soft lavender fragrance with rose blended into it.

—

Present, 1919 | Birmingham

Every since that day, Polly had cherished that bottle. She kept it in a box in the back of her drawer with the letter and card she was given on the same day. She hardly wore it, in fear that she would run out.

Now it was the familiar lavender and rose that put Vivian at ease for the time being. Vivian waited a minute before she opened her eyes. She adjusted to the light as if she had been trapped in the darkness for years.

Vivian looked down to see her aunt, looking at her with worried eyes, "I'm okay." Vivian whispered to the woman in front of her. As if nothing happened, she wiped her wet face.

But she wasn't convince, "No, you're not." Polly shook her head, tears gathering in her eyes for the girl.

The girl nodded, "I am." She tried not to but stuttered, and tears still spilled from her eyes.

"What happened to you?" Polly asked softly, stroking the girls cheek.

"Nothing aunt Pol." She answered, but she failed to convince her aunt it was the truth.

Polly saw she wasn't going to nor want to admit that she was in pain, and she wouldn't tell her what happened either, "are you bleeding or hurt anywhere else?"

"My head and my... here hurt. And my neck-." She pointed to her waist and stopped herself from carrying on because if she was honest, everything hurt.

Her aunt stood up, standing up and Vivian's eyes followed her as she moved, "I'm just going to check your head." The woman's hands moved through her hair, her fingers grazing over the gash. She found where the blood came from. She was sure the girl had a concussion with the way she swayed side to side and zoned out, and how pale she was.

Polly came down to eye level and saw the forming bruise on her chin. She pushed the hair away from her neck and saw a large red patch that was soon to be a bruise and the purple marks. She had been grabbed and choked and used.

When she looked back to Vivian, who looked down. Her hazel eyes filled with embarrassment and shame. Polly dark brown eyes filled with rage. She wanted to killed the person or people that did this to her, but she very quickly realised she couldn't, not now.

Her eyes trailed down to Vivian's rib and gave her a look that Vivian took as permission to check. She nodded before her aunt slowly lifted the coat, only so far that she could see her hips. And she saw the same red marks again, darker than the one on her neck.

"I'm going to get a bath ready, okay?" She said, pushing some hair out of Vivian face.

She was left alone for about ten minutes before Polly came back and left again. And another ten minutes later, Polly brought her to the bath.

Pulling her up, her aunt held her arm gently as Vivian held her sleeve tightly. She leaned on to Polly, inhaling the rosey, lavender scent. She kept the girl up right as they walked.

The bath was in Ada's room, where the fire was burning. Polly didn't want to have the bath in the living room with the men next door.

The girl was used the bath being in her sister's room. Ever since her sister left with Freddie, she took a bath in Ada's room instead of Arthur's old room. Vivian's room didn't have a fire so she often had to find another room to keep her warm as she spent ages in the water.

There was a time during the war when Vivian washed Ada's hair in the room. Ada would go days without talking or moving from her bed when the boys first left. She wouldn't take care of herself. She was broken when the boys abandoned her.

Young Vivian had started dragging the bath into the room and heating the fire. She would do this every other day until Ada finally gave in. Vivian would being washing her hair as her sister sobbed. Vivian cried silently with her, failing to stay strong.

And here she was now in the sister's now vacant room. She wanted her to come back but now she had a husband and a baby, she doubted the mother would ever sleep in this room again.

"I'll give you moment." Polly had left as she stripped and got in the water. The woman didn't want to leave her niece alone, for fear of losing her like she almost did before. Vivian knew she couldn't get Pol to even wait outside the door.

Vivian hissed as the cuts on her body made contact with the water. She let out a sob she couldn't keep in as she felt nothing but pain. She hadn't fully realised how much pain she was in physically until now. She brought her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs tightly.

There was a gentle knock at the door, "you can come in." Vivian called. And the door opened. Polly stood there for a moment, seeing the bruises on her back and ribs. She snapped out of her daze and went to clean her up.

Pulling a chair over, she sat beside the bath. She clipped the girl's hair up, out of the way, careful of her head injury. She cleaned up all the blood and disinfected the cuts that scattered around her body.

At first, she flinched at touch, but once she turned to meet her aunt's eyes, she was reassured. She avoided eye-contact after that. The two sat in silence as the crimson colour washed down her body. Neither of them made a sound. The sound of the water filled the quiet room.

Vivian didn't know how to feel. She felt sad, angry and sick at once. She was definitely feeling more emotions but she didn't recognise them.

After, she had seen the wounds on her feet, legs, arms, hands and neck, the forming bruises on her chin, hips, shoulders, and chest, and she wasn't going to forget her head.

After some time, Vivian was sitting in the now dirty water. The once clear, clean water was now a mustard colour. She stared ahead of her at the wall, seeing some of the cracks that have been there longer than her and the recent water stains on the ceiling she never saw before.

She wanted to throw up or just lie down but everything felt like such an effort. Keeping her eyes open and sitting up straight felt like the hardest thing in the world right now.

She felt Polly hands come up to her hair before she felt her hair fall to her wet shoulders. The woman treated the scar and tried her best to fix the damage.

After a few minutes of trying to mend the damage, Polly felt her niece sway from side to side. Vivian hands came to the sides of the metal tub, gripping tightly but her grip loosened when everything went black.

Polly held the girl as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She was in shocked as she looked at the pale face of her niece, helplessly. She probably passed out from exhaustion, stress, shock or all of the above.

The woman shook her and called her name but no reply. "Arthur! John! Thomas!" But no reply, the noise from the betting shop was louder than her screams. She gentle and quickly lay her back, "I'll be right back, right back." She whispered.

She stormed out the room and raced down the stairs. She shoved through the men and they groaned and grunted in annoyance before they realised the who the person was.

She shouted through the shop, all their offices empty. Polly wanted to cried but she couldn't as the girl lay unconscious up stairs. There was no Shelby in sight. No blood Shelby. "Esme!" She shouted in relief.

The new edition to the family still found it overwhelming being married and being a mother, but being married into the Shelby family was even more overwhelming and stressful too. She found the family intimating so she stayed out of their way.

Polly called out to her and she was concerned for her state, "Ring a doctor, tell 'em its for Shelby." She ordered the woman quickly. Esme complied and rang quickly as Polly raced up the stairs again to Vivian who lay still.

Checking her pulse, to be sure, and thankfully, it was somewhat normal — slower than usual. She tried to pull the girl out of the water but she was limp. So instead, Polly wrapped a towel around the girl and hugged her close. She stroked her hair, praying she would wake.

Meanwhile, Esme was outside, on the busy street, waiting for the doctor impatiently. She had no idea what had happened but with the way Polly was she knew she didn't have time to ask.

The doctor didn't come and instead a young nurse arrived, Esme grew frustrated that it took so long for someone who looked like they could peel a fucking plaster open. The woman nodded to the woman, knowing who she married and the family she married.

Esme didn't bother with any questions, before dragging her in the door, "Polly!" The two ran up the same stairs Pol ran up twenty minutes earlier.

"In here!" She spoke loudly, still holding her niece. Esme arrived at the door to Ada's room and froze in shock. The young girl she met at her wedding was now laying lifeless in a metal tub covered in scars. The nurse was no different; frozen in place.

"Who the fuck is this? I said a doctor!" Polly shouted in anger.

"Mrs Gray-" The nurse stuttered but was cut off.

"Shut up and help. Help me get her out." Her voice broke as her sentence finished.

Soon, Vivian was on the bed wrapped in a blanket and towels. Her face was still pale and her body was still motionless.

Polly explained as much as she knew while the nurse examined her, looking at the fresh but disinfected scars. Esme stood back as she felt it she would impose. The poor girl, she thought.

Esme decided to clear the room a bit. She left the tub to be put away at a later time and collected the clothes that lay in a pile near the chair. There was a blood on each piece of clothing. She put them in a basket in the corner of the room for later.

Later, the nurse suggested that Polly and Esme might want to leave as she checked Vivian for further injuries. Mentioning that her state might be due to abuse in the house hold, the Gray woman was ready to beat the nurse for the accusation but Esme pulled her out.

Polly waited outside, listening for any kind of sign that would tell her that her niece was awake but nothing. Esme, again, pulled her away, seeing the woman stressing and pacing.

Polly decided to wash the blood out of the clothes that Esme had left in the basket. The blood stained the basket. Esme made tea as Polly washed her skirt in the cold water in the sink. Each time she washed a piece of clothing, she'd drain the filthy water. It was only the jacket and shirt and her undergarments, her blouse missing.

"What happened?" Esme asked, careful not to upset the woman.

"Wouldn't tell me. She barely spoke." She rang out the skirt, "And then she passed out in the bath." Esme placed the tea cup in front of her in-law, as she scrubbed roughly. She didn't asked anymore questions. Esme wondered where the boys were.

She watched as the water turned mucky. There wasn't as much blood as Polly expected, it mostly stayed on her body. The undergarments though turned the water almost red with the red. She drained the sink four times, trying to get the water out of the thin material.

It was lost cause with the rips in the piece but still tried to get the blood out. If she could just get the blood out, then it would fix one thing. She scrubbed and scrubbed harshly until she stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Go back to work." She said to John's wife, "or take a break." The woman nodded and carried into the den, not wanting to argue with the woman. She knew of the infamous Elizabeth Gray. She knew not to fight with her. She knew not to cross her.

—

It had been twenty minutes already. So Polly knocked on the bedroom door. The nurse answered the door, "could we speak outside please?"

"I rather my niece didn't wake up alone." Polly glared at the woman.

They stayed in the doorway of the room, "Ms. Shelby has many injuries as you can see. Fortunately, there is damage that will effect her long-term — physically. The biggest issue is the trauma to the head, so lots of rest, give her the medication this," she handed the Gray woman a small bottle of white pills. Polly scoffed at how untrained this woman seemed. She knew all this and it was just getting repeated to her. She stared at her niece on the bed, so quiet and still.

A certain question snapped Polly back to reality, "Is there any . . . abuse in the . . . household-?" She asked the aunt nervously.

"No." Polly snapped, looking back at the girl.

"Is there any sexual abuse, you ma-?" She asked calmly, aware of her potential reaction.

Polly glared at her, shocked and angered, "What? No, no, there is not."

"I ask, because there has been many cases in past where . . . someone has been in this state and it is caused by someone in the family." She tried to find the right words, trying to remain calm and professional. "There is signs that show she was sexually assaulted; held against her will, signs of struggle."

Polly didn't want to believe it but she saw the marks and state Vivian was in mentally. The nurse explained further but Pol zoned out again. A nurse saw it and she saw it but she wanted to be sure. She'd ask her soon and until then the family would be there for her.

"She will probably sleep through the day, I think but when she wakes I suggest be with her, make sure she is alright mentally." The nurse spoke, "I will send the doctor over when is not busy."

But Polly shook her head, "No she'll be fine with us."

"I will make a visit again when she is awake." She left after packing up her case and handing Polly some more painkillers, and telling her when and what to take, "I would rather speak to her directly. I'd also suggest you make an appointment for blood tests."

Polly stared at the girl, she'd have to tell the boys. Esme knew and she'd tell John. And it would not go down well if John went telling Tommy and Arthur before she got a word in, there'd be hell.

Gradually walking up to the bed, she saw Vivian's chest rising and falling slowly. The girl's lips were cracked and the bruises prominent on her pale skin. The nurse had cleaned her wounds up more.

She felt useless.

—