Answers
"What's going on?" Y/n asked, Jungkook pacing back and forth with his hands on his head.
"I don't know. I don't even know, Y/n. All I know is that a very buff man is about to call me and ask me questions I don't feel like answering."
Y/n tilted her head. Oh wonderful, he was only confusing her more. So, he took a deep breath and leaned against his dresser, running a hand through his hair. She appreciated the way he calmed himself, and she came over, rubbing his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It actually somewhat worked, and Jungkook eased into it, closing his eyes and reliving the memories he wanted to push away forever.
"Take your time," she said, lowering her tone until it became like a melody.
"I wasn't planning on telling you this soon, and I'm still gonna leave out some details, but now you deserve to know why the fuck I'm a panicking mess."
"As much as I agree with that, you know you never have to share anything with me that makes you uncomfortable, right?" He opened his eyes and glanced at her, nodding, but she still didn't believe him. "I may be your girlfriend, but you have your own life and privacy. I'm not going to pry on details you don't want me to, okay? The main goal is making sure you feel safe with me."
He pecked her forehead, smiling softly. "I do. I really do, and that's why I want to tell you what happened." She motioned for him to continue, so he let his stare rise to the ceiling. The little crevasses and chips waiting there for his gaze matched his mental state, him pressing his clammy hands against the wood behind him. Time to rip it off like a bandaid. "Namjoon's grandmother was killed."
"What?"
"Isn't it funny? We're college students, yet all this shit happens. It was loan sharks. His grandmother and grandfather opened a diner and ran it for years, I'm guessing they needed loans to open the place. That's my big secret, Y/n. I was there the night his grandmother got killed."
She backed away by a hair, their gazes locking on each other. "Why didn't you tell Namjoon? Or the police, for that matter?"
"I actually did call the police, just anonymously. And his grandfather told me not to. He didn't want me to go through court as a witness and mess up my life. Court does that to young adults, and he said he didn't want to risk Namjoon hating me for being there but not stopping it. But I had to tell someone, I couldn't keep that bottled up. So I told Jimin and Taehyung, but that's it."
"Would Namjoon really hate you for this?"
"Normally no, but this is his family. People say stupid shit when their families get hurt. They're the people they love, and I was there that night. Namjoon may be angry, he may even try to make me give witness testimony. If it comes to that, I'll do it, but I also want to honor his grandfather's wish to keep me out of it."
His girlfriend crossed her arms over her chest. "Were you close with them?"
"Not really, but I like them. Sweet people."
"If you weren't close with them, why were you there?"
He sighed. This was the part he wasn't sure how to explain, but he tried his best anyway. "It was after hours, the diner was already closed down. I was there because I volunteered to help them with cleaning and stuff. I helped them for a couple weeks. It wasn't really a job, but I wanted to do something that made me feel... I don't know, like I was actually worth something."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, all my life I've been handed things. My parents practically paid for me to get into this school, the girls come flinging at me just because I'm attractive, my grades get mostly handed to me because of my status... everything is handed to me. Money, grades, opportunities, women. For once, I wanted to do something for myself. And of course, the one time I do, everything goes to shit."
"You couldn't have known that would happen. You're just a kid, Koo."
"Maybe. But it doesn't change that I caused his grandmother to die," he said, his voice a mere whisper. She didn't ask, but her eyes did. "I was taking out the trash when a car pulled up, and I went to go inside, but Namjoon's grandmother locked me out and told me to run. I didn't... and that changed everything..."
"What did you do, Koo?"
"I went through the cellar door, and I snuck through the basement. When I came up to the main diner, I saw his grandparents were cornered by some guy in an overcoat. His whole face was covered, he even had some dumbass fedora to cover his hair. Couldn't even tell you his skin or hair color. All I know is that he was holding his grandmother at gunpoint, so I needed to do something. He didn't see me, and I used that to my advantage."
He couldn't continue, all he heard were the gunshots. Y/n came closer than before, hugging him, and he hugged back. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"But I want to," he whispered, stroking her hair and peering at the wall from over her shoulder. "I went to the counter and grabbed a knife, but as soon as I went to sneak up on the man, I bumped into a box I didn't know was there, and there was some glass inside... it made a loud noise, and the man pulled the trigger because of it."
"Oh my God, so he...?"
"He shot Namjoon's grandmother because I fucked up, I had to bump into some stupid fucking box I didn't know was there, and the stupid fucking glass had to cling together or some shit. And the man panicked and ran out, shooting a couple more times to scare us into not following him. I'll never forget that... and I'll never forgive myself for what I did."
"It was an accident, you were trying to save them," she said, pulling away to peek at him.
"And in doing so, I ruined their lives. How ironic is that?" Y/n took his hand and kissed it, rubbing over the skin there. "Can I be honest?" She didn't raise any complaint to that. "I've been going to therapy ever since, not really giving the details, just saying I watched someone die. H-How can I even process that? I've been trying so hard to stay strong and pretend nothing happened, and I guess it worked, no one suspected anything, but still..."
She rubbed his shoulder and peered up at him, her lips twitched into a frown. "Can I hug you again?" He replied by embracing her first, her arms wrapping around him and squeezing him as tightly as she could. He moved his lips on her neck, kissing her skin several times and letting his hands dance around her back to show his thanks. He was so incredibly grateful for her and everything she did. They were a new relationship, sure, but he was looking forward to every day they had together. And deep down, Jungkook knew it would last.
"Am I a bad person?" he asked, unable to stop his voice from whimpering and cracking.
"No, no of course not. You're not a bad person, Koo. You never were, and you never will be."
"But I was such an ass to you. Fuck, I was such a dick, asking if you were on your period when you were mad, calling you names even when you told me not to, trying to get into your apartment... I'm sorry, Y/n. I really am."
She parted from him, placing both her hands on his cheeks. He fell into her stare, his hands landing on her hips and naturally slow dancing with her like it was their first time all over again. "If I told you it's okay, would you actually believe me?"
"Maybe if you kissed me to prove it."
Y/n chuckled and agreed to his terms, kissing him gently. He accepted it, rubbing her sides and scooting closer. He pet her hair, twirling his fingers throughout each and every inch she had to offer. And within a moment, he was picking her up and placing her on the bed, their mouths still connected.
He hovered over her and kept his lips on hers, kissing her with a passion he never felt before. And when they parted to breathe, only a few seconds later she was grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him back down. Jungkook accepted it and kissed her again, the pain of his confession fizzling away, his heart beating in-sync with hers.
She laughed against him, making him do the same and back away. "What? Is the way I kiss funny?" he asked, her shaking her head and peering into his eyes.
"Not at all. I just think I'm falling for you already, and I thought I'd be scared of that, but... I'm not. And I think it's because you're a good man, Jungkook. You are."
"You're not scared of me?"
"The only thing I'm scared of is that massive thing you call a dick. Why would I be scared of someone who's just trying to do the right thing?"
And it was in that moment that Jungkook was convinced he was head over heels in love with her. She was perfect to him, even though no one was supposed to be perfect. He saw the world in her eyes, as cheesy as that may have sounded. Jungkook could see his future in the way she smiled, and he could hear his heart speed up when she laughed. It was so early in their relationship, yet here he was, forgetting about the possible consequences he would face from Namjoon - and all because he had Y/n with him. So, he pressed his lips on hers again.
Now the next step was saying he loved her...
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