I'll never finish falling in love with you and never will...

"Do vote and comment please "

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Author pov

Yoongi is sitting near his old piano and mindlessly tracing random notes.
Sudden his attention get on piece of paper poking out from side of instrument.

He open it and smile sadly . He know what is it and with how much courage he wrote it back then.

-×-×-×-
Letter

Ummm ... I don't know how to write something like this cause I never did before so don't make fun of me. Let's start okay

you are too much noisy, very mean and rude .... you fight with me all the time. You ate all my food. You are stubborn never listen to anyone specially to me.. only came when you get problems but even after you gave me thousands of reasons not to fall for you but silly me ..

Maybe it was your laugh

Or your eyes

Or your smile

It could have been your hair

Or you voice

Or your personality

Whatever it was , It made me fall for you pretty damm hard .

Everytime when you slap my back and giggle only God's know how hard I control my desire to kiss the living daylight of you.

Everytime when you tease me by calling sweg and smiles trust me It's very good feeling to know I'm the reason behind your smile.

I could be having the worst day in the world, but the moment I see you , everything suddenly became alive and beautiful.

I just simply in love with you . I love you like really alot so you know you can do me a favor just date me .

I know you don't like chessy love letters but I want this to remember for story which we'll tell our kids.

I'm going fast aren't I? Even decided name but if you reject me please just pretend you didn't read this letter cause I don't want to destroy the precious friendship we have. I love you I think you deserve to know this so yeah please don't laugh okay.

Soon to be bf

M.Y

(

Lol it was too much honesty)

-×-×-×-

Yoongi fold it back . Neither he was able to give it 6 years ago and never will . He's just coward a fucking coward.. afraid of getting rejected and not even able be friends

He remember how happy he was that day he finally build courage to give this letter and ask for date.

-×-×-×-

6 years ago

It's valentine day. Y/n is sitting on bench in college campus beside her laying alot of flower , chocolate , teddies different valentine gifts from campus boys . She is mindlessly scrolling her phone waiting for a certain someone's message.

Yoongi came and stand in front of her blocking her sunbathe.

"Thank you for your gift. just left stuff there and please move aside let me have some vitamin D" she said without even looking up .

When Yoongi didn't answer Neither he move then she look up and realized

"Oh yoongi it's you . I thought another lover boy....woah look like you robbed someone" she confessed and move aside making some space for Yoongi . he heard her but choose not to answer

Yoongi put his gifts with y/n's.
Ken , yoongi and y/n three of them always get many gift on valentine so they just remove chessy love letter and distribute it to orphanage kids,make their valentine day better.

"You got more gifts compared to last year " yoongi said going through some letter try to find if there is someone else who wrote better than him.

"Say the one who get the maximum gift popular boy every campus girl have crush on you excluding me "Y/n said a matter of fact.

"Hey who gave you this " she asked pointing at asters flower which is secure tightly in yoongi's hand.

"I bought this for someone" he said slightly blushing.

"Ohhhhh..... you gotta crush babe and didn't tell me ....... tell me who is that unlucky bitch" she asked to which yoongi laugh the irony.....she is calling herself a bitch.

Y/n phone rings she answered it and stand up . She didn't speak a word on call just hmm in response . "Yoongi keep these gift to yourself I'll be back just in a minutes going to help ken" she said and run away not giving him time to even reply.

But yoongi follow her . He is very determine to tell her how much he love her and when she call him " babe" he lost last piece of sanity and just want to hold her securely in his arm let whole campus know whom she belongs to.

He seen y/n went toward computer lab . At this hour no one will be here. what on the earth Ken is doing here.

Inside the lab...

Y/n reach lab but suddenly get slam on nearest wall and fell a pair of soft lips on hers. She close her eyes kissed back well aware whose lips are these.

Ken pressed their bodies together. Lips molding with each other passionately,eyes close feeling each other body which fit perfectly .

Y/n break kiss .. both of them out of breath. Forehead resting together as they catch there breath eyes not leaving others even for second.

"So this the help you were asking for huh?" Y/n asked with a chuckle. Younger is already red .

"It's valentine gift for you" younger reply hand resting on older lower hips.

Y/n rub Ken's cheek and said" gift or you are making up for leaving me alone in the morning?... I get scolded again " younger chuckle remember everytime y/n and yoongi punished for getting late a good sight to see.

"It's not my fault you watch movies whole night and sleep at morning like dead..... but I did try to wake you up" Ken explained bitting lips hard to control the urge for kissing y/n again.

"Liar ... I'm sure you didn't even tried " y/n said lean closer to make feel other she is going to kiss but she didn't. To which make younger open eyes and glare older.

"I did ...like this" with that Ken attached lips with y/n again. This time kiss was rough full of dominance theirs lips moving together in sync. Tongue colliding bottom lips sucking , biting, hands roaming shamelessly on each other bodies.

Ken start moving hip which cause y/n to came back into reality that they are making out in computer lab anyone could be walk in anytime.

"I love you but We can't do this here pack fast we are ditching classes today and... you are not giving me any nerd excuses " y/n order giving a last peck to younger.

"I love you more" younger replied with a beautiful smile.

Y/n chuckled and start helping younger.

Y/n didn't get why Ken always said I "love you more"like always not even single time something else.when y/n asked why Ken replied "you'll never now but Ken love her more than y/n can ever think of "and this is end of discussion.

Y/n exists first followed by ken who started walking fast eager to go home but y/n attention caught by a scroll. She pick it up and examine and put it in her bag she'll read later and walk away.

Yoongi watched everything with his own eyes. He not only watched y/n and Ken kissing but also how good they look together, how much they love each other. He watches his heart millions breaking in pieces on front of his eyes.

So he run .. run unware of fact that he dropped his confession letter while crying like kid.

In evening at yoongi place

Yoongi is crying since when he came back He is hurt ... hurt very deeply.
" Loving someone is okay but loving someone who cannot return your feelings is not okay" He kept chanting this word like mantra. He don't want to became other man in their relationship

His phone rings... he look at it ." Y/n " name came into screen.

He declined call not in mood to talk. She'll get that he had cried just by his voice.

She called again , again until he get sick and pick up. "What" he asked try to sound normal.

"Meet me in 30 minutes my apartment" she order and hung up

she never even try not to sound like a demanding bitch yoongi sigh.

He don't want to go but his curiosity will kill him so he decided to wash his face .. wear something nice and meet her . What more bad can happen that this.... right?

At y/n apartment

Yoongi is sitting on couch from past 15 minutes waiting for other to finally open her mouth. Ken is not here .

"Can you fucking open your mouth and do the pleasure to tell me why I'm here?" yoongi asked he is getting irritate because of other silent behavior. Just want to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Whome you gave that flower ? " She asked me finally

"For this you make me came here you could have ask on call itself " he suggested

"Answer me" she demanded

"Someone " he replied shortly

"Someone ..Who? This someone of yours have name" she inquired

"What with you? why are you suddenly interested in my love life" he said as he really don't want to answer her questions

"Okay ... I don't know about flower but you forgot to give that person this scroll" she put the scroll from her cabinet in front of yoongi same scroll in which yoongi confessed.

Yoongi eyes get wide .... he is afraid now . He look at y/n who have her eyes fixed on him He gulp before taking step toward her.

"Y/n this is not how it's look like" he said

"Tell me than what is it? Its look like you have written it for someone i know" She said processed to fold her arm in front of her chest.

She is Looking very angry. He know if he said truth everything will be finish. Their friendship of years with be gone within few seconds so he choose to lie cause no matter how much he refuse without her " his life is worse than a nightmare "

"I was planning on giving it to K-Ken today but you both just disappeared. I lost this letter and tried to find but i couldn't so i thought I'll confess tomorrow" he lied . His first and biggest mistake . He looked at y/n she look confuse cause he really defines y/n in that letter.

"Ken?... how ... you didn't tell me but I mean it's describing-"

"You" yoongi completed her sentence and chuckle . Obviously he described her one and only y/n .

"Not everything is about you y/n Ken and you are pretty same but I wrote it for ken cause i l-love ken " he said and watch y/n shoulder relax before getting tense again.

" but ken ...Ken said that someone - " he again cutt her off

"That someone else is there and that someone else is you" he said and watch her expression which fall suddenly but she tried to hide it with her awkward laugh.

"You are shitting right now" she denied by word but her actions says otherwise she is shaking slightly like she have gotten a electric shock.

Yoongi reduces their distance and hold her by her arm making her look at him.

"How could you lie so shamelessly in front of me? I know everything.. i have seen both of you in computer lab" He asked tears are visible in his eyes . He is deeply hurt that she didn't even tell him . And here he thinks she'll date him and return his feelings

"Yoongi listen " she try to talk but he didn't let her

" noo you listen.... how can you hide this truth from me ?How can you both act like it'll never affect other? If you love each other go publicly don't give other hope that they have chance... I'm feeling like shit a third wheel in your love story by loving one of my bestfriend for fuck sake" yoongi exclaim breathing heavily tear tickled down his eyes . He just want to shout and pour his anger, disappointment and frustration out.

"You know what yoongi say whatever you want ... I know I'm at fault .... I could have told you about Ken and me-" he cut her sentence for nth time today

"But you didn't that what matters" yoongi said

"Will you let me talk?" She yell suddenly make yoongi alert .she take a deep breath and continues

" what do you think why I have made myself like this short hair , boys dress faking my voice ... why? . She asked pointing at her appearance indeed she made herself look like boy.

' you know why...because I'm a sinner "

"I'm a lesbian yoongi "

" this society , they think we are not human , we are sinners just because we love another person with same sex " she is crying by now throwing everything which she pile up inside her from her childhood.

Her grandparents saying how they should never with same sex how this against law of nature. Making her believe if she did she'll rot in hell.

Ken's parent pressuring her to make boyfriend and not hang out with y/n that she is bad company for their daughter. Her dad is priest and always find y/n as threat to their culture as she wear clothes like boy have short hair .

" I love Ken a lot . She love me to but you know we can't go publicly because we both are ideal girl for this fucking society we can't hold hands in public .. can't say out loud we love each other that's why I made myself like this .. make myself less girl atleast from far people think me as men and don't put their shitty nose in others business but this society is homophobic they'll never except us and those who say fuck this society.... they just say can't do a shit ... I'm sacred .. sacred people judging me , saying shit about Ken. You know how fragile she is she'll break. Her parents will kill her "she said taking deep breaths between her hiccups

"This didn't justify why you didn't tell me" he asked his anger is vanished in thin air as soon as a tear slip y/n's eyes. He can understand her fear as they both grown up in same homophobic society.

"I thought you'll also not understand us and judge us like other and don't want to befriends anymore . I know I fucked up I'm sorry I'm sorry and if you want to go you can" she confessed sobbing slightly.

Yoongi has never seen y/n at this state she never let see her pain to others but did today must have hard for her to carry all this to herself till now.he wrap his arm around her and hugged her tightly

" no matter what situation is "
" I'm always here for you" cause i love you . He wanted to say but he just snugle into crook of y/n neck as both cried silently.

-×-×-×-
Present

Yoongi smile sadly remembering that day when he lied mindlessly. After when Ken is out of picture what should he do ... go and said ' y/n sorry for that day I lied all along I was in love with you i liedcause i was scaredof rejection' and get a free slap.

He touch pendant on his neck which y/n had gifted him as good luck charm by saying ' with a piece or without a pieces it will make note for sure just so different like our life with or without the person you love it goes on just differently. ' sometimes she talk deep shit. Yoongi chuckle

The pendant

Someone give me this as good luck charm I'll marry that person

He open his messages again and read y/n last message ' I'm going orphanage like old times join me... and wanted to tell you I made my mind .... .......jungkook is a great person.... you are with me right?'

He closed his eyes take a deep breath and smile he'll be move on too ' no there's alot of work in studio I wouldn't able to join and jeon is indeed a great person "

He lastly typed " no matter what ........ I'm always here for you" and switch his phone of he need some time to himself.

-×-×-×-

Holy shit author you mean yoongi loved y/n all along

He lied all along too

Ken being girl and y/n being lesbian must be an heart attack for you. Right?

Yoongi loved y/n for more than a decade but he know this is not going anywhere " he is hopeless maybe in next lifetime they both will be together without this fucked up situation"

There are alot secrets still untold..

It's you
In a thousand of lifetime
In hundreds ways
It's you
It'll always be

To be continue....