I lost something
I never had
Yet it hurts, just as bad

"Do vote and comment "

Author's pov

Next day, freezing march saturday is not silent as always, giggling and laughter can be heard in the house. Taehyung and Jungkook both are catching up but by maintaining good distance from the hot headed lady cause none of them want to trigger her anger.

The same routine followed as before but instead of clubbing on Saturday evening Jungkook and Taehyung left early to surprise Jimin.

Y/n is alone, She has nothing to do. She is missing her bestfriend from past two week but after seeing Jungkook and Taehyung together she is missing her friend harder.

After their fight the other day she didn't talk to him, her wounds which were not fully healed yet he decided to scratch it.

While staring at her phone she is debating with herself whether to call him or not. She had her headphones on, the movie is playing on the background without any care.

Other person in room was watching y/n trying to dial number while whining like a kid ' he'll call when he wanted- fucking hell just call y/n ' she is talking to herself and acting like she have to press a bomb activating key not call button.

He is controlling his laugh by watching her struggling hard, he pressed his lips together and waited few more minutes while nodding his head.

But when he get to know she is not doing any progress, He slide her headphones starling other who just got a heart attack by the sudden action.

He crossed his arms on his chest and scoffed loudly " waiting for something? you know you can always call by pressing those green buttons " she smiled at her bestfriend.

"Yoongi " she chime about to hug but then remembered they are not at good term and had fought.

---------
1 day before ramen night

Y/n and yoongi both are playing and yelling on top of their lungs with mouth stuffed with fast food. Yoongi,  y/n's bestfriend who knows everything about her including her dark past and shattered present.

"What the hell yoongi you just hit me, it's hurting " y/n said and to try to block his view from screen by sliding in between, Yoongi groan, nothing new she end up cheating when she starts losing.

Yoongi stands up to see the screen and questioning how his bestfriend can feel virtual character's pain and continuous beating her ass.

"What I suppose to do in fighting game, you idiot" he snapped back giving a soft side kick to his friend, to let her know he is already on his feet and she is wasting her energy by  blocking his view from the screen.

" No..no, Ahhh" she hitted controller angrily like she is having real fight with the poor non- living thing but to her disappointment she looses and looses very badly.

"And winner is the Min yoongi " yoongi exclaim and give her a smudge look.

"Trust me If Ken would have here -" she enable to complete her sentence her breath get stuck, her body get rigid, yoongi face fall unable to process that she said the certain name for the first time after that incident.

"Y/n" he called her softly very well aware of the fact that she don't like this name at all. Y/n snapped her head towards the pale skinned man, her face remains emotionless.

"Huh? let's r-rematch and this t-time watch me" she shuttered badly trying to hide that the name didn't have the same effect on her as before, yoongi  know better. He know when she lie, he can see through her.

"For how long ?" Yoongi asked seriously while staring straight to her soul, Y/n know that there is no escape but still she not ready to face the cruel reality again.

"Leave it yoongi and yeah you should go home it's getting dark" she point her head toward the window which was allowing moon light to come inside, she tried to walk away from her bestfriend's inquires but he held her arm and made her stand at the  previous place.

"How long you gonna avoid this topic, Its been what?-5 years, How much more time you want? Move on idiot, You and me both know Ken is not coming back " he inhale heavily when tears accumulated in the corner of his eyes, it's hard for him also.

"I know you are in pain then cry, yell, remove your frustration, use me, I'm here, I know you are heartbroken. Everything is going to be okay-" she cutoff him by a dry chuckle, her eyes are filled with in agony, palm formed into fist which shows the anger part.

"Heartbreak? no babe it was worse" she said with dry laugh moving toward the glass window and smile at her own reflection.

"I k-know.. I know cause we l-loved same person just so you still love and I moved on" he confessed after gulping lump in his throat, he is again doing the same mistake but if it makes her feel at easy then he can do anything.

He's even ready to lost himself if that make her find herself.

"It hurts,It hurt so fucking much when the person giving you the best memories ends up being a memory so keep your advice to yourself cause you don't know a shit yoongi better be shut up and fuck off" Y/n said her jaw clenched hard not because she is angry because she is trying to come off strong, her eyes blinking rapidly, using her all strength to not cry.

Yoongi can clearly see she is trying very hard not to breakdown in front of him but he is not backing off not before he melt mountains she build around herself, he knows he can.

"So what is your plan? Wasting your whole life for betrayer, is that what you are going to do? You know you can tell  me, what you feel, I'll not judge you.  you won't look looser for crying when it hurts and always can move on with the one you have " he added the last word softly touching her shoulder and squeeze them to assure her what he said he can do.

She yanked his hands off her making it fall at his side and she turned her back at him "Leave me alone yoongi, there is nothing to cry to on, just go " She said her voice wavered at end, she will not look at him again or she'll cry and she doesn't want to cry atleast not in front of him. She doesn't need pity.

Yoongi took a deep breath and rubbed his face before nodding "I'm leaving but don't call me until you made your decision right " he spat angrily and walk away, he heard, he heard correctly the way she started crying as soon as he step out.

He is done and disappointed whenever this topic comes in light she behave's like she doesn't need anyone and she is very strong to face everything alone but more then anything he is angry, angry at her, at himself that he's never able to share her pain.

That he can never be the one she rely on.

_______

"Why you are here?"She asked faking her anger and fold her arm on her chest looking away from him.

"It's not like you weren't waiting for me" he said with a smudge look, she gave a fake smile to before pulling a straight face and glare.

"Yes I was waiting, so what?" She confessed making yoongi smile, he felt happy at the fact he wasn't the alone who was waiting for her.

" You should have called me" he pointed out and shrug, inside hearted her to hug him and said she missed him.

"No shit, sherlock " she said and gasped with her hands on her mouth, her eyes wide staring at an unimpressed yoongi, who didn't find the joke funny. She sigh and rolled her eyes.

" how can I? You clearly told me to call you when I made up my mind.. but I didn't" she repeated his word fiddling with her fingers and pouted without unconsciously, he noticed and find her cute.

" Last time I checked you didn't listen to me, you really have to come up with good excuse" he squint his eyes with ' I know you more than yourself ' look. She blushed in embarrassment of getting caught red handed.

"You started fighting, I didn't " she defend herself but yoongi stay silent. He observed the way her ears turned pink and eyes lowered. He freaky love it when she does that.

"So we are keep fighting or you can say sorry -" she coughed unable to complete her sentence because the look yoongi giving her, he is communicating with his eyes ' I dare complete the sentence'

She put her hands up in defense " Okay I'm sorry, I was mean and rude, you was trying to help but I dont need it, " she gave him puppy eyes which he is weak for, he smiled defeated completed.

The anger was fake toward her, he can't imagine staying away from her for some more time or he'll end up being homesick.

"Now we good?" He asked in proud manner and crossed his legs on sofa, y/n nervously shifted.

"Umm about that sweg, Iaccidentallybreakcontrolerwhichyougiftedme" she run away not caring the shocked house worker who have seen their madam scared of someone.

Yoongi on the other hand didn't understand what she said buy one thing was clear she called him 'sweg' and he have to run behind her to catch, he freaking hate running.

"Dear Satan please grant me some patience or a goddam sword for this women, nevermind patience will not enough for me and I can buy sword from shop, you are useless" yoongi grumbled and walk mindlessly toward the overly active lady who happen to control him way too much.

Afterall they are bestfriend since five, Ken also.

_______
6 years ago

Yoongi, y/n and Ken three of them are in 2nd year of college. It's pretty Monday morning but not for the one who are late for literature class like yoongi and y/n, the class teacher is strict as fuck and happen to hate both of them without any reason.

Now both of them are debating whether to enter and saw sorry or walk back the place where they came from.

" what this is the 4th time I'll crash my own funeral this month? " y/n asked to the one who is beside him, 4 time in a month she have set new record of punishment.

"Seventh" yoongi replied shortly, half asleep if y/n didn't decided to drag him out of his bed he would never come out.

"Really? That many already, what about you?" she look amused and fascinated like being late is similar to earing medal in military.

"Ninth " he replied with a smirk and pushed his forehead bangs back. Both of them are having full blown conversations in front of closed gate of class number 69, the number itself says pain.

After discussing at which dates they both were bunking classes and how many curses they received from their parents, they made a brutal decision, the decision of entering in the classroom " you first My lord" y/n bow her head in front of yoongi asking him to die first.

Yoongi pushed her toward the gate more " I'm a gentleman, so my lady you first" he gave a sickening sweet smile to her and received a scowl.

They both end up fighting knocking the door hard in process to martyr the other. They both gulp when door opened by the one and only professor Choi" I was waiting for two most disciplined students of my class" she said, grinning darkly.

Both yoongi and y/n look at each other they both know they are doomed.

They are still looking at eachother in front of smart board with marker in their hand, both of their English is hella good that Shakespeare would die again if he was alive.

"Teach us Miss Mun and Mr Min " professor choi ordered the two who left with no choice but to follow.

'Sweg ' yoongi written and read the word loudly, he remember the word from lyrics of his favorite song. Whole class burst out laughing hard on his mistakes. Y/n shake her head like she is embarrassed because of her friend.

"Silence and now Miss Mun y/n " Teacher growl again asking y/n to spill whatever she knows.

' Jucchini ' y/n write and read for everyone to ehar and this time class can't control the silence and laughed harder with Ken slapping the seatmate to control the amount of humiliation her girlfriend is putting herself into. Yoongi snorted from besid.

"Miss mun and Mr. Min, I would like to meet you both after class now sit down or get out" the old lady is done with both if them, they never listen to her and do what she asked so she decided to ignore cause that's only option left.

Yoongi started walking toward exit door, he have no interest in studying but y/n drag him with his bag after giving a awkward smile and a bow to the teacher and glare to toward Ken who is still laughing.

Since then both of them tease each other with sweg and jucchini as nickname.

________

Yoongi and y/n are back like before cause fight is normal between them, they have always been like this chaotic.

Meanwhile at black porch, three bestfriend are settled in, for party the night away.

" Hyung you are not drinking today and certainly not spilling truth in front of Jimin hyung, I need sometime to tell him" Jungkook wishper shouted in Taehyung's ear to which made other to reply with curt nod.

" you know,  I'm still angry on fact that Jungkook knew first than me that you are here Tae and now you both are wishpering to each other, what is it?" Jimin ask suspiciously eyeing   both of them from the rear view mirror as they decided to make the first class racer as their personal driver.

"Jimin-ah, we can't hide anything from you, you know that" Taehyung replied with the obvious tone that he is indeed hiding something.

"I doubt that" Jimin mumble as he examined their behavior both of them behaving weird from the time they walk in his house yelling on top of their lugs and scarring his poor dog in process.

If he want to know what real Tea is, he have to make Tae drunk, older smirk at the thought.

They reached bar and Jungkook warn Taehyung for the last time " hyung, no drinks"

"And you know his wife locked me in bathroom scaring the shit out of me, she was about to throw me out of window at freaky cactus" a very drunk Tae complain to equally drunk Jimin pointing at Jungkook who is at same state, they have been drinking from past forty seven minutes and now they are out of their mind.

"You fucker if anything have happened to my Tae, I might have broke her bones" Jimin snarled at Jungkook try to hold him by his collar.

Both younger started laughing at their older friend finding his threat empty.

"Hyung her one glare is enough to make your anger wash away and replace it with fear" Jungkook said and try to back away from older who is holding his collar too tightly suffocating him.

Jimin was not in the mood of letting  go because the raven haired man just laughed at him.

"I agree" Taehyung join in and try to stand up but end up Jungkook who is on the top of Jimin and last the poor man was flat on the ground groaning.

"Sir, are you okay?" bartender ask and try to help them, three of them were giggling and blabbering things that doesn't make sense making the poor soul confuse at what to do.

_________
An hour later

Three of drunk as hell men made their way toward Jungkook's house, Jimin and Taehyung slept in guest room like dead and Jungkook reach his bedroom stumbling at his steps.

He removed his shoes and shirt, threw them aside and jump on bed, rolled closer to the side where y/n is pretending to sleep, he backhugged suddenly which scared her. Her heart started to beat faster when her skin come in contact with his.

He is shirtless? Y/n started panicking and pushed him hard before turning toward him.

He gave her a angry pout, his cheeks are flushed in shades of pink, eyes are tipsy, y/n chuckled tapping his nose but her eyes enlarged when he pulled her close by her waist.

"Everyone's say your are scary and rude, I don't like it, only I can call you Miss Rude" Jungkook fumbled with the pronunciation of words and look straight into her eyes, she know he is fully wasted or a sober Jungkook would have run miles away after saying this.

She know about the nickname from everyone call her, she even know other like- if Monday has a face, the constipated women, etcetera, etcetera.

"Jungkook sleep now we'll talk tomorrow " she try to convince him but he cupped her face with his both hands and search in her eyes for something before he grinned.

" your smile is so beautiful, you are beautiful" he did his drunk confession which he was trying to do from long time and closed his eyes. The women is too stunned to speak, her heart and brained stopped functioning.

I what? she gulp when he opened his eyes again and attached their forehead.

" I wanna talk to you but you always insult me and push me away, I know you are hard on surface and softie inside" at this point he will totally regret saying all those words but now he is feeling happy.

He hugged her from front and snuggle I'm her hair before releasing long sigh and pecked the side of her neck.

Y/n shivered and try to push him, she is very uncomfortable not used to other close proximity. She about to reply but stopped when she hear soft snores coming from drunk man means he was already asleep, after breaking the hug and pulling duvet at her herself and him, she laid down.

Her heart is restless, she is glad that Jungkook don't hate her like she thought but he said she insult him, the word insult have very long history with her. She loathe the word and now she made him feel small.

Everytime when he get drunk. He complain about his work, his crush and call her by weird names but today he complained about her, to her.

" did she get overboard ? He feel like she is insulting him? Should she listen to yoongi advice ? Forget Ken and move on? Why Jungkook said he didn't like anyone else calling her rude? What he mean by her smile is beautiful and she is beautiful?

She didn't slept that night, her mind was fish nest, the chaos didn't let her blink.

But she wasn't aware the fact this is the first night she didn't sleep because of him, there are many restless and bittersweet nights are waiting for her.

Author's note

So you have seen y/n and yoongi friendship and fight both.

what both of them loved same person 'ken'.

What do you think Ken is he or she?

You have seen another member add to know about their secret marriage 'jiminshi"

Jungkook drunk confession , hugging and all huh?

What about y/n is she going to move on

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There are alots of secrets still ....untold

It's okay to cry when there's too much on your mind
Cloud cry to when they get heavy

To be continue....