Saturday 15th May, 1977

It was the day of the full moon and I was in the marauders dorm, attempting to convince Remus to rest for the day. He looked like shit, and I could only guess he felt worse, which meant he would not be doing any schoolwork or physical activity today.

"I have homework," Remus complained.

"Homework can wait," I retorted, giving him a hard stare.

He stared back defiantly, stubborn until the end. Unfortunately for him, I was also stubborn and crossed my arms, looming over his bed as I glared at him. Eventually he gave in, but only because it was obvious he was getting tired, and he hadn't even been doing anything of consequence. I could only imagine what he'd be like while studying.

When Remus agreed, I sat on the floor with the marauders, all of them keeping Remus company while he begrudgingly rested. He wasn't sleeping, but he did have a headache so we were careful to keep out voices low as we spoke.

I sat next to Sirius, nudging his knee with my own to get his attention. When he looked up from his homework, he gave me a questioning stare.

"Regulus was talking to me the other day," I said, careful to keep my voice low. "He said Snuffles had kept visiting him, and that they see each other often."

Sirius's face went red and he averted his eyes to the floor, swallowing harshly. He stared at his hands as he fidgeted with them. "Um, yeah."

I stared at Sirius and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius looked up at me, biting his lip nervously. "It's just... well, I miss him."

That confession, however small, seemed to take a lot off of him and on at the same time, like a weight was lifted only for another one to replace it. I tried to understand his feelings, thinking that he finally admitted he cared for his brother, but that also meant he could no longer ignore his feelings on the matter by pretending he didn't. Sirius was probably very scared right now.

"So, why have you visited him as a dog instead of a human?" I asked instead of talking about what Sirius just confessed.

Relief flickered across his face, no doubt because I didn't question what he had admitted, something I could tell he was grateful for. His expression went sombre though as he thought of my question, a frown creasing his brows. "Well, because it's not like he would want to be with me as a human."

I grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly. "And why is that?"

Sirius blinked rapidly when his eyes welled up with tears. He cleared his throat, determined not to cry. "Because... well, because I left him. I hate to admit it, and frankly it makes me want to tear my own heart out, but I did leave him. I left him with my mother, Y/n. The foulest, most revolting woman on this planet. I'm his older brother, and I'm supposed to protect him, but instead of staying and looking after him I escaped, leaving him to suffer the brunt of our parent's wickedness."

I shook my head before he even finished speaking, staring into his eyes with an intensity that could rival Regulus's. "You needed to leave there, Sirius. You can't blame yourself for escaping an abusive home. Yes, Regulus is still there, but you survived. You survived, Sirius, and you should never feel guilty about that. You did what you had to, and it was the right thing to do."

"But I left him," Sirius choked out. "I left him there-"

"He made his own choice," I said, cutting him off. "I know you and James have both offered to take him in multiple times since you left, and I know that he has refused every single time. You've done all that you can without endangering yourself, and that's all you can do. It's up to him to make the decision to leave, not you. You can't control others, no matter how much you may wish to, and that includes Regulus regardless if he's your little brother or not. And he still cares for you too, Sirius. He still misses you. Just because he refuses to leave doesn't mean he doesn't love you still, because he does. He really does, and you both deserve to have a relationship together without your mother interfering."

Sirius gave me a watery smile, tears streaming down his face. At one point he'd just stopped trying to fight the tears, and I could tell he felt relieved to finally let the sadness out. "Is that true? Does he really still love me?"

"Of course," I said, smiling at the look of wonder on his face at my words. "He never stopped."

He looked at me and the expression dimmed slightly. "But... won't it be awkward now? Because of you and Regulus?"

I rolled my eyes, lightly shoving him with my shoulder. "It's only awkward because you're making it awkward. Regulus and I are both fine with it, so you should be too."

Sirius looked thoughtful, and he quietened down for a while, deep in thought. The other marauders who had been staying silent, letting the conversation happen, slowly started talking again, changing the subject. I could see my words stuck to Sirius though, and I hoped that meant he would try to help mend their relationship. They both deserved it.

After a while I left the marauders dorm, bidding them all goodbye, and met up with Regulus in the library. We studied for a solid three hours until I could no longer properly read the words on the pages, and only then did we put the books away and make our way to the Slytherin Common Room. As we walked, Regulus held my hand.

"It's a full moon today," Regulus said. "Noticed anyone's absence?"

I blinked in surprise before remembering that Regulus didn't know Remus was a werewolf. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lie to him, but I knew I couldn't tell Regulus who the werewolf was. That wouldn't be fair to Remus, and I wouldn't cross him like that.

"Oh, um, I completely forgot," I lied, wincing as I did so. I hated keeping secrets from him.

"Do you have any suspicions for who it might be?" Regulus asked, oblivious to the war raging inside me.

I shrugged. "Not really. Do you?"

Regulus hummed, thinking. "I haven't narrowed it down much, though I noticed the werewolf looked rathe big, so I'm crossing out first and second years."

I nodded in response, trying to hide the panic clawing at my throat. He couldn't find out it was Remus. I knew he wouldn't do anything bad, but I didn't want him knowing without Remus being okay with it. It was his... furry problem, and he deserved to choose who to tell and when.

"The Quidditch final is coming up," I said, changing the subject. "You excited?"

Regulus grinned. "Of course. We're going to destroy Gryffindor."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. James is pretty good."

"Yeah but I'm better."

I snorted, amused by his arrogance, but let him believe what he wanted. Secretly though, I wasn't too sure who would win. I'd seen both of them play and practise, and they were pretty evenly matched.

When we arrived in the dorm, everyone else was there, including Pandora and Dorcas. Upon entering, we found that they were also talking about the upcoming game.

"Y/n! You're gonna support Slytherin, right?" Avery asked eagerly when he noticed my presence.

The others all turned to me, and Evan shoved Avery's shoulder. "Of course she is stupid! Her boyfriend is in Slytherin."

"But her brother is in Gryffindor," Pandora said solemnly.

Barty frowned, his eyes scanning me suspiciously. "She wouldn't betray us like that. Not when she lives in the Slytherin dungeons."

I raised my eyebrows. "So we're just going to forget that I lived in the Gryffindor Tower for four years, and that my brother and myself are both in Gryffindor? Or that my brother is captain of the team?"

"But we're your friends," Avery whined. "Dorcas is going to support us, right?"

Dorcas froze, her eyes finding mine in the room, pleading for me to save her. I shrugged my shoulders helplessly. There was no saving her from these guys.

"Dorcas..." Evan said slowly. "You are going to be supporting us, right?"

Dorcas cleared her throat. "Um, about that. I haven't actually... decided yet."

Barty gaped at her. "You haven't decided yet?"

Dorcas shifted uncomfortable, shrugging her shoulders. "Well, you guys are in Slytherin, but my girlfriend is in Gryffindor, as is Y/n."

"Traitors," Barty seethed. "Both of you. I expect to see you covered in green and silver at the game if you ever want me to talk to you again."

I snorted, sharing a look with Dorcas, but relented nonetheless, if only to please Barty. Secretly, I was sharing Dorcas's problem, because I actually hasn't decided who I was going to support.

That was a problem for future Y/n.

A/N:

sorry its a day late 😅

the black brothers make me cry every time. i just want them to be happy. why can't they be happy?

barty my beloved 🥰🥰 he's so dramatic i tell you