Saturday 26th April, 1977

As soon as I walked in the Great Hall I felt eyes on me. I saw them too, the dirty looks shot my way, the hushed whispers, the stunned stares. I saw it all and tried not to let it affect me as I walked to the Slytherin table.

There were even more glares coming from the Slytherin table, but one look at Barty, who, alongside Evan and Regulus, were shielding me from view, stopped them from voicing whatever thoughts they had about the current situation.

I looked over at the Gryffindor table to find James staring at his plate, jaw clenched as he gripped his utensils tightly. My eyes searched the rest of the table, but Sirius wasn't there. He hadn't even bothered coming to breakfast, or maybe he just really didn't want to see me.

Both thoughts were depressing.

"So, have fun last night?" Evan asked, raising his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I rolled my eyes but smiled, knowing he was trying to get my mind off everything that was happening.

"What happened last night?" Pandora asked.

Before I could say nothing, Barty, Evan, and Avery all launched into a long, completely false explanation of the 'canoodling' we did last night.

"Dude, no one calls it canoodling," I said.

Avery scoffed, giving me a very judgmental stare that only he would be able to pull off. "They do so, because I just did."

"Actually, she's right. Literally no one-" Barty went quiet very fast at Avery's look and mumbled something under his breath, head bent as he sulked.

I smiled at their antics, feeling my shoulders relax a bit. Yes, things were shit and I was balancing very precariously on the edge of bursting into tears, but I still had my friends. My friends, who were there for me, ready to fight anyone who looked at me twice. My boyfriend was also a huge help, and I just hoped he didn't blame himself for this whole debacle.

When breakfast finished we left to go to our first class, Charms. We hadn't been partners while fighting, and though we had resolved our issues we still had to sit away from one another. It was hard, because then I was forced to endure the whispers alone, without an anchor or comfort to get me through it. I could only imagine Regulus was feeling the same.

When Charms ended though, we sat at our next class together, which only increased the rumours. It was nice, though, being able to be with him without hiding. Strange, but nice. I kept thinking what I could do to make it seem like we hated each other, only to remember that everyone already knew we were together. It would take some time getting used to, and though I still wished none of this had happened, it was nice finding a bright side in all of it.

After that class I met up with Dorcas for Herbology. As we did our work, she made me explain everything that she had missed out on, because I hadn't had a chance to explain things yesterday. She was a good listener, gasping at all the right moments and promising to make all the right people pay. Mainly Selena Rowle.

When it was lunch and I entered the Great Hall, I noticed the Gryffindor table devoid of all marauders. I took this chance to go over to Lily, Mary, and Marlene and explain to them what had happened. They were all very supportive, thankfully, and told me they didn't care who I dated. I was so relieved to have their support, to know that they didn't hate me, that I hadn't lost even more friends.

"How are Sirius and James?" I asked hesitantly.

The girls shared an uneasy look, making me feel queasy. I'd hoped maybe they'd just needed time to chill off, but from their reactions I guessed that was not the case. I only hoped they wouldn't stay mad at me for too long.

"They're... struggling," Mary eventually said. "They're angry about the fact that you're dating Regulus of all people, but also because you kept it a secret from them. There was also a falling out between Remus and Sirius because Sirius found out Remus already knew."

I felt shit. I hated that Remus and Sirius were in a fight because of me. I had asked Remus not to tell anyone about Regulus and I, and now he was suffering because of it. I felt like I'd done everything wrong, like I was to blame for every bad thing that had happened since they found out.

"Are they on speaking terms?" I questioned, dreading the answer.

Marlene chuckled, though, surprising me. "Of course they are. Their too co-dependent to stay mad at one another for long, even though it was a very messy fight. Things are still a little tense between them, but they'll get better over time."

I nodded my head, relieved that they'd made up. I knew there would still be resentment brewing between them until they got over the fact I was dating Regulus, so I could only hope that that point came sooner rather than later.

After lunch, I was walking through the hallways to my next class when I just so happened to bump into the marauders. My heart dropped as I saw them and my anxiety spiked. I hadn't been in close quarters to them since the fight yesterday, and I wasn't eager to repeat it.

"Y/n," James said through gritted teeth.

Yeah, he was definitely still mad.

"James," I said. "Sirius."

The other boy who had seemed intent on giving me the silent treatment suddenly spoke, his chest heaving from the barely controlled anger he was feeling. "Was this what Narcissa had been talking about in Diagonally? I'd gone over her words in my head a million times, confused as to what she meant, but now everything makes perfect fucking sense. He was moping because you'd broken up, because he had been engaged to someone else. And the letters I saw that had my family crest? You lied to me every time, making me feel like I was crazy, like my mother was still there, like I could never escape her, because I here I was, seeing her crest on things that weren't there. But I was right, and you lied to me! You lied to me Y/n! Lied to us!"

"Because of what you're doing right now," I yelled back, furious. Here he was, trying to make me feel guilty for hiding my relationship when they were the reason I had to. Did they even care how hard it was for me to keep it from them? To know that the people most important in your life wouldn't accept who you loved? No, they only cared about themselves and what they were feeling. "Look at you! Trying to make me feel bad for being in love? Who does that? Certainly not the person who was supposed to be your brother!"

I saw the chance to be cruel right in front of me, taunting me. I knew I'd regret it later on, and I knew it would carve him deep in his heart, but I didn't care. At that moment, hitting him the hardest was my intention.

"But then again, you've never been good at playing brother, have you?" I asked viciously.

I saw the moment Sirius realised I said that. Saw him recoil from me as if I was a stranger. I felt the satisfaction rush through me, making me light headed for a second, before the regret slammed into me, almost making me stumble. What had I done?

"How could you say that Y/n?" James hissed. "How could you be so cruel?"

I didn't look at Sirius as I answered, so I managed to avoid the look of betrayal on his face, because how could someone he loved be so cruel to him? Someone who promised they were not like the rest of his family yet was verbally tearing him apart just like they did.

"Why don't you take a look in the mirror once in a while," I spat. "Then you'd see whose really cruel."

Peter, who had been watching all this unfold silently beside Remus, stepped forward. "Y/n, where are you staying? You didn't go to the Gryffindor Common Room last night. Are you okay?"

I felt a surge of appreciating towards Peter, who, even though I lied to him, still cared about my wellbeing enough to worry if I was safe or not. "I'm fine. I'm rooming with Regulus."

Before the boys could answer, we were interrupted by footsteps and I turned around to find Regulus hurrying towards us. Speak of the devil.

"You," James spat, glaring at Regulus. "You did this. This is all your fault."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, his face blank. "I think you'll find Y/n chose to date me on her own, a decision she was quite capable of making. I didn't do anything." He stopped speaking and let his lips curve into a small smirk. "Well, that's not completely true. I certainly did some things, but nothing you're currently accusing me of."

"You little-"

I stood in front of Regulus before anyone could get their hands on him, glaring daggers and both Sirius and James. "This was my choice, do you understand? Dating Regulus, being with him, it was all my decision. You can't just blame Regulus because you don't like what I've done. We've been dating for four months, and I chose to do that. So don't blame Regulus because you can't handle the fact that I made my own decision regardless of your personal feelings, got it?"

The look of pure hatred on both their faces as they stared at me made it clear they did. I stood there, pretending to be strong, as they stormed off, leaving me behind. I pretended to be strong until they turned the corner, and only then did I allow myself to turn around and sob into Regulus's shoulder, feeling my heart break in two.

A/N:

james and sirius r breaking my heart rn :(

why r they so mean???