Saturday 24th April, 1977

It was nice to be back at Hogwarts. Sure, I missed my parents, and my house, but Hogwarts would always have a special place in my heart, especially because it's where all my friends were. Currently I was in an empty classroom with Regulus, Barty, Evan, Avery, and Pandora.

"I'm so glad you two are back together," Pandora stated happily from her seat on the floor.

"Me too," Avery added, "but not as much as Barty of course."

Barty shot a glare at Avery, but I was already too interested. "What does that mean?"

"He missed you the most out of all of us," Evan said, cackling at Barty's betrayed expression. "He always complained about you not being there.

I looked to Barty, finding his face beat red with a scowl on it and smiled fondly. "Oh Barty, how sweet!"

Barty stood up, glaring daggers at me and everyone else in the room.

"I hate you all," he said, before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. We all laughed, knowing he would be back in no time.

I felt warmed though, that Barty had missed me. I was glad he liked me, and glad that he'd come to think of me as a part of their group. It made me feel like I belonged with others beside my brother and his friends, which felt good. I loved the marauders to death, but sometimes it was nice to have my own friends.

We hung out for a while, waiting for Barty to return, and I leant against Regulus's chest, smiling when I felt his arms wrap around me. I would never get over the feeling of finally being in his arms again. It was like coming home after so long away, or finding home for the first time.

From the corner of my eye I saw some sort of movement by the door, but when I turned my head nothing was there. Frowning, I stared at the closed door, but when minutes passed and the door still didn't move I gave up and eventually looked away, joining back into the conversation.

Evan had just mentioned that Barty still hadn't come back when the door opened and there Barty was, looking frazzled as he closed the door and ran over to us.

"Selena found out," he said. "She must have seen you guys in here, but now she's telling everyone and-"

Barty was interrupted by the sound of splintering wood as the door was kicked open and there stood Sirius and James, both livid, eyes narrowed on Regulus's arms around me.

I felt like the world had stopped. This couldn't be happening, could it? James. Sirius. My friends. My brothers. Surely they wouldn't be mad. Surely they could see that Regulus made me happy and get over whatever anger they were feeling. Surely they'd care about how I felt more than how they felt.

Surely.

"James?" I asked quietly. "Sirius?"

Their eyes slowly moved to me, analysing my face. I hoped they could see my pain, my want to be with Regulus. I hoped they'd be able to understand that I loved Regulus. He was my boyfriend and I loved him. I hoped they would understand that.

"Get your fucking hands off my sister," James snarled, lunging forwards.

I stood up to meet him, pushing him back before he could touch Regulus. "James stop!"

"What the fuck are you doing?" James yelled at me. "Sneaking around with Sirius's brother? With a Slytherin?"

"Not all Slytherins are bad-" I started.

"This one is!" Sirius yelled, cutting me off. His eyes kept darting to Regulus, and his face was full of hurt. "He's a blood purist, Y/n. He's a lying piece of scum who thinks all Muggleborns should be killed! He's just like my parents!"

Regulus stood up, chest heaving as he stared at Sirius. The words no doubt hit home, and now he was staring at Sirius like he wanted to punch him. Again.

"I am not our parents," Regulus hissed.

Sirius scoffed, taking a step forward. "No, you're worse than them, because I actually believed you loved me. How ridiculous. You're a piece of shit."

"Shut the fuck up Black," Barty spat, walking to stand by my side and shielding Regulus from view. Evan followed Barty's lead, as did Avery and Pandora, until we'd created a barrier between James and Sirius, and Regulus.

"What are you doing, Y/n?" James asked. "Why are you doing this?"

James was looking at me pleadingly, as if begging me to see reason. Couldn't he see he was being the ignorant one? I was in love and happy. Shouldn't that be enough for them?

"I love him," I whispered.

Sirius shook his head vehemently. "No you don't."

Suddenly I felt as if my heart broke. I stared at Sirius and James, the people who were supposed to care and love me no matter what, my own brothers, that were hating me for loving someone they didn't want me to. That's not what family was supposed to do. Why couldn't they just accept that I was happy? Why wasn't my happiness their top priority? Why wasn't it enough? Why wasn't my happiness enough?

I'd never felt this way before about my brother, but I felt like he was killing me. Like he'd ripped my heart out of my chest and there was this gaping whole there where it should be. James was my brother, my best friend, the one person I was supposed to be able to trust above all others. Why was he hurting me like this? Why was he discarding my feelings like they didn't matter because he didn't like them?

"Go away," I said, my voice shaking as I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

James scowled. "We're not going until you explain what's bloody going on-"

"Go away!" I screamed, hitting him in the chest and pushing him back. "I don't want to see you anymore! I hate you!"

The two of them seemed surprised at my sudden outburst, but I was bubbling with rage and sorrow. They were gaslighting me, trying to convince me that my love for Regulus wasn't real, when it felt like the only real thing in the world. It was what gave me the most happiness, and to see Sirius and James diminish it's worth before my eyes felt like a kick to the gut.

"Fine," Sirius muttered, grabbing James's arm and dragging him towards the exit. James kept his eyes on me, betrayal shining through. How could he feel betrayed? I'm the one who wasn't accepted for who I love. I'm the one who had to endure their cruel words and manipulations. He didn't deserve to feel betrayed. I was the one who was hurt.

Right?

I wasn't so sure. Seeing James glance at me one more time before leaving seemed to build up guilt inside me. I shouldn't have been so harsh. I should have told him the moment I realised I liked Regulus. I should never have hidden it from them and broken their trust.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Regulus's voice brought me back to the present, and then I was sobbing into his shoulder, clutching at his shirt like my life depended on it.

Regulus's arms wrapped around my and rubbed my back as he whispered soothing words into my ears. I didn't hear anything besides my own sobs, feeling like my chest was caving open with each shuddering breath I took.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I choked out. "I see them everyday in the Gryffindor Common Room and the Gryffindor table and-"

I cut myself off with a deep, shuddering breath, trying to supress anymore tears. I needed to think clearly, to come up with a plan on what to do, but I couldn't do that when my vision was constantly blurry with tears and my head was pounding from crying so much.

"Why don't you just move into Regulus's dorm?" Pandora suggested.

I lifted my head from Regulus's shoulder. "What?

"That's a good idea, actually," Evan commented. "If you move in with us, you can sit at the Slytherin table and hang out in the Slytherin Common Room."

I blinked at them. "Would you all be okay with that?"

"Yep."

"Yeah."

"I mean I guess," Barty muttered, though I knew he was only pretending to be unenthusiastic.

I turned my gaze to Regulus, silently asking him if he was okay with it. He smiled and pulled me in for a hug, hand gently brushing my hair as he did so. "I think it's a good idea."

. . .

Dinner was not a good experience, to say the least.

Everybody knew about Regulus and I, thanks to Selena, so there were many stares and whispers as we entered the Great Hall. That only increased when I followed Regulus to the Slytherin table and sat next to him. I looked down, feeling everyone's eyes on me, and took a deep breath to calm down. Regulus grabbed my hand under the table and I looked up, smiling slightly at him.

I risked a glance at the Gryffindor table and found Sirius and James glaring lividly at Regulus. It was clear they both blamed him for my actions, like he seduced me to hurt them. It was stupid and I looked away, feeling angry.

I didn't spare a glance for the Gryffindor table again at dinner, and then before I knew it I was being led to the Slytherin Common Room. I pretending to be surprised at the entrance, for the other's sakes, but I saw Regulus hide a smile.

When we entered their dorm, I was surprised to find it looked different. It took me a moment to realise it was different because all of my stuff was there, like magic. I noticed that there were still only four beds though, something the others unfortunately picked up on as well.

"Looks like you and Reggie will be sleeping together," Barty commented. "Keep the noise down to a minimum, will you?"

I groaned, covering my face with my hands as Barty let out a cackle, nudging my shoulder with his. I shot him a glare but he was too busy teasing Regulus to notice. I saw Avery walk up to me with a sly grin and shot him a dirty look.

"Don't even think about it," I warned.

I got ready for bed in the bathroom and exited to find everyone else also ready for bed. I climbed under the covers of Regulus's bed as Regulus got in, hands going around my waist and spooning me. I tried and failed to hide my smile.

"Make sure you use a silencing charm," Evan teased when we were all in bed.

"And use protection," Barty added.

I let out an embarrassed sigh. "I thought you were my friends!"

"We are," Avery insisted.

"We're just looking out for you," Evan said.

"I'm not ready to be a godfather yet," Barty added solemnly.

I snorted and shared a look with Regulus.

"Hey, I'd be the godfather," Avery argued.

"Actually, I would," Evan retorted.

I heard Barty scoff. "Don't be ridiculous. It's obvious that I would be-"

"That is enough," Regulus ordered, aggressively yanking on the bed curtains to close them. The only problem was they got stuck, and Regulus kept tugging on it but it wouldn't budge.

"You alright there, mate?" Evan asked, his head poking out of his own bed curtains.

Avery also popped his head out of his curtains. "Looks like you're struggling a bit."

"You don't say," Regulus said through gritted teeth, glaring at both of the boys.

"Nice pyjamas Y/n," Barty commented from where he was also looking outside of his bed curtains.

Regulus's bed curtains closed with an aggressive pull as Regulus glared holes into it, no doubt cursing his friends in his mind.

"Goodnight assholes," he snapped.

"Goodnight Reggie," Barty crooned.

"Night, night Reg," Evan sang.

"We love you," Avery reminded.

Regulus groaned.

A/N:

...😬😬

hey guys... how we going?

also, before ya'll get mad at me for making james angry, just listen to my little rant here.

in most fics i read, james is a happy, kind boy, and while he is that, he is also bad and angry and NOT perfect. people always write him as this flawless character whose perfect all the time, but in reality he's not. he's human, he makes mistakes, and he feels things other than happiness. this is really important for me to say, because everyone gets mad whenever they see a flawed james potter, when he's literally just like the rest of us. human.

thank you for listening to my ted talk