Chapter 37
Tuesday 19th January, 1977
"Holy shit!"
My eyes flew open at the sound of Evan's voice, and I was presented with a blurry Evan holding open the bed curtain, staring at me in shock. "When the bloody hell did you get in there?"
Avery's head poked over the side of Evan's, mouth agape. "And without saying hi to me first!"
I felt my face heat up and wanted to crawl under the covers and die. Of course they'd find me sleeping in Regulus's bed, because that's just how bad my luck was. I swear, it's as if I'm a main character in a story and the author is making every single bad thing happen to me for their own amusement.
Curse you author.
"She's been here the whole night," Regulus answered. "And I'd much appreciate it if you gave us some privacy, Rosier."
"Hey, you're the ones who decided to fuck in our shared dorm," Barty called from somewhere in the dorm. "These are the consequences."
"We didn't fuck," Regulus grumbled, snatching the curtains away from Evan and Avery and closing them.
He turned to look at me and sighed when he saw my horrified expression. "I can't believe they found us like this," I whispered.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "It's fine. I've walked in on way worse, especially with Barty. This is nothing. They're just messing with you."
I cleared my throat, trying to gather what little dignity I had left. "Well, in any case, I think I should leave now."
I moved to get out of the bed when Regulus grabbed my shoulder. I turned to look at him in question and noticed the concerned expression on his face.
"Hey, are you sure you're okay after last night? It was a really scary thing to happen. Hell, I'm still fucking terrified."
I gave him a shaky smile and nodded. In truth though, I wasn't so sure. He was right, it was a really scary thing to happen, and I still felt fear coursing through my veins. We nearly died last night. We nearly got torn to shreds by a werewolf. That was a scary thing.
Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was feeling. What were you supposed to feel in the aftermath of an attack like that? If those animals hadn't come in time, hadn't saved us when they did; I didn't even want to think about what that would mean.
I was afraid, of course I was, but I also found myself actively reminded myself that the werewolf wasn't to blame. When someone close to you nearly dies, you want to blame someone. You want to direct your feelings of terror of grief at what almost happened into something else, into anger at something so you don't need to focus on all the other bad stuff, and I wanted to do that with the werewolf.
I found myself hating them, thinking of all the things I'd do if they ever hurt Regulus, but in reality it wasn't they're fault. Lycanthropy is a sickness, not a choice. They don't choose to turn into a werewolf every month, to feel that instinct, that need to kill humans, and to feel the painful transformations every time they turn into a werewolf and turn back into a human. None of that is their choice, and even though I feel like I'm drowning in fear and despair, I can't blame them just to make myself feel better. It isn't right.
I got out of the bed, trying to ignore the boys on either side of the room as I left it, casting a disillusionment charm on my way out. I made it to the Gryffindor Common Room and snuck into my dorm where I had a shower and got dressed properly.
Once I'd gotton ready, I went down into the Common Room, finding James, Sirius, and Peter sitting on the couch seeming unusually sombre. It matched my down mood, and I didn't like it. I was hoping that James's upbeat personality could cheer me up, but they were acting as if they too nearly got killed by a werewolf last night.
As soon as I greeted them hello James was up and out of the couch, moving towards me with purpose. I was half wondering if I should start running when James wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace, resting his head against my shoulder.
"I love you," James whispered. "I just want you to know that."
"I love you too," I replied, frowning. "Are you okay James?"
James just nodded his head, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead before stepping back, taking a deep breathe like he'd been waiting to do that all day. I looked at Sirius and Peter questioningly, but they too seemed overly emotional, and before I knew it Sirius was hugging me tightly, and then Peter. It was so strange, and mixed with what happened last night my brain was a mess, so much so I didn't even bother to try to figure out what was going on and settled with the thought that they were overtired. They'd tell me anything different if they needed to.
"Where's Remus?" I asked as we all started walking out of the Gryffindor Common Room.
"He's really tired," Sirius said. "Decided to take the day off."
I nodded, my theory proved correct, even if it wasn't like Remus to miss days of school unless he had to. We walked to the Great Hall in silence, meaning my mind strayed to the events of last night. The animals had acted so strange, so different from what animals were supposed to do that I was even more convinced that they were Animagus.
I was so convinced that I decided to start casting the transfiguration charm on any rat I saw, thinking it would be more likely I'd see rats than a dog or a deer. Even so, I knew that wasn't doing much to prove my theory, and I wanted so bad to tell James, Sirius, Remus and Peter about it, to get their opinions and thoughts.
I wasn't going to though, partly because if they found out what happened last night they would be even more overbearing than they already were and partly because it wasn't even my secret to share. I would respect whoever the werewolf was and keep their lycanthropy a secret.
. . .
Friday 22nd January, 1977
So far I'd used the transfiguration charm on three rats, and none of them proved to be Animagus. I felt rather stupid about it, and decided to keep these failed attempts to myself, knowing Regulus would do nothing to help my doubts.
I was brought out of my thoughts when I noticed Regulus up ahead. He spotted me and smirked, opening a nearby door and slipping through it. I grinned and followed him, opening the door to find a small broom closet.
"A broom closet? Really?" I asked, closing the door behind me.
Regulus shrugged, but there were traces of a smile on his face. "It was the first door I found."
I rolled my eyes as Regulus's arms snaked around my waist. "Mhm."
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," he confessed once he decided I was close enough to him.
It was true, sadly enough. I'd been trying to spend more time with the marauders, and in turn had accidently been neglecting Regulus. Though the term neglecting may have been a bit excessive, I had been giving him less attention than I should have, and I felt guilty of that, as well as all the time I'd missed out on with marauders because I'd been spending it with Regulus.
It was hard, this secret thing. I knew it was the safest option, for now at least, because our brothers would both completely flip if they found out, but I was struggling with keeping it a secret. I was always messing something up, and the positive outlook on the secrecy I'd had at the start had long since faded away. I wouldn't complain though, partly because it was my fault James and Sirius would freak out, and partly because I was grateful for any moment alone with Regulus I could get, even if that meant we'd have to keep our relationship a secret.
"We'll just have to fix that," I said, pulling him closer by his tie.
I managed one glance at Regulus's grin before I pressed our lips together, relishing in the feeling of him. That feeling didn't last long though, because just as Regulus's mouth found my throat the door opened, and there Remus Lupin stood, staring at us both in shock.
I immediately pushed Regulus away, who in turn stared at Remus in pure fear as the older Gryffindor blinked once, twice, and still didn't say anything.
"Remus?" I prodded hesitantly.
"Sorry I- uh- disturbed you," he mumbled, grimacing at every word as his face went pink. With that he turned around and closed the door, probably running away as soon as the door shut.
I opened the door and started chasing after Remus, noting how fast he was walking. Damn him and his long legs. I had to actually run to catch up, and when I finally did Remus just stood there awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he looked anywhere but me. Regulus was a few paces away, too hesitant to come any closer.
"I'm really sorry about that Remus," I said, knowing this was as painful for Remus as it was for me, "but please don't tell anyone. Especially Sirius and James. We are going to tell them, eventually, just not now."
Remus nodded and an awkward silence descended over us. I was just about to bid him goodbye and cry myself to sleep when he spoke.
"Er- when, exactly, did you two get together?"
"Oh, um, the Yule Ball," I answered, surprised by the question.
I was surprised even more when Remus muttered a curse. "Lily already knows I presume?" I nodded. "Of course she does. It seems I owe her some of my chocolate."
With that Remus walked away and I didn't even bother chasing after him. Instead I turned around to face Regulus, both of us wearing similar expressions of disbelief. We stared at each other for a solid five seconds before bursting into laughter, the incredulousness of the situation too much.
"They were betting on us?" I asked, breathless.
"I really though Lupin was going to tell Sirius, but no, instead he reveals he and Evans have a bet going on. A bet! On us."
We grinned at each other and started walking down the hallway, a meter apart so as to not cause suspicion. We had just finished discussing how much chocolate would have been bet when someone walked around the corner.
My eyes darted towards the person, and I recognised her as Selena Rowle. I looked away, staring at me feet as I watched from the corner of my eye as she met Regulus with a soft smile and murmured greeting before sending me a glance and walking away.
I was surprised with how much jealousy that one interaction gave me. I was Regulus's girlfriend for heaven's sake, I shouldn't be feeling this over some nobody like Selena. Even so, the doubt was there, growing bigger by the second.
"Who is she?" I asked once Selena was long gone.
"Oh, she's a friend from the Sacred 28. We usually hang out at the pureblood events together," Regulus answered casually.
I remembered seeing the two of them dancing together when practising for the Yule Ball and realised that meant that that wasn't the first time they danced together, nor would it likely be the last.
I smiled at Regulus and nodded, but as we continued walking the sour feeling curling in my stomach stayed.
A/N:
i forgot to update :)
whoopsies
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