Tuesday 25th November 25, 1976

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

How much of an idiot was I? How had I not realised I fancied Regulus Black until now? Lily had even told me to my face that I liked him, and I had been too oblivious to realise. Oh Merlin, Lily. She was going to be insufferable. I'd really dug a deep hole for myself. All those strange feelings I'd felt when he looked at me, smiled at me, talked to me.

Oh Godric, I was stupid. This was why I wasn't in Ravenclaw.

I moved away, sitting back down in my spot, my mind all over the place. I looked at Regulus, butterflies instantly appearing in my stomach, and quickly averted my gaze. I couldn't even look at him anymore without getting flustered.

My gaze landed on James and Sirius, both of whom were glaring at Regulus and Rosier. I'm fucked. How could I like Regulus when my own brother hated him? And Sirius. How could I do this to Sirius? How could I be friends with him when I was wishing his brother would kiss me again? And yet I couldn't help but feel excited, giddy even, whenever Regulus and I made eye-contact.

I felt caged. I needed to leave, to be alone with my thoughts, but the doors were still locked, forcing me to endure the rest of the afternoon trapped, unable to think properly. When the doors did finally open I was the first to exit, making my way to the Gryffindor Common Room with speed.

When I entered my dorm room I collapsed on my bed, letting out a frustrated groan. I couldn't believe I liked Regulus Black. I couldn't believe I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me. I couldn't believe I wanted him to kiss me. I couldn't believe I wanted him to be mine.

I really was fucked.

. . .

Wednesday 26th November, 1976

I had decided to stay in my bed hidden under my blankets and pillows forever. I didn't know how I was supposed to face Regulus now that I knew I liked him, so the best option was to not face him, or anyone else, ever again.

Unfortunately, Lily did not share that view, and as I hid under my blankets I heard the door slam open and footsteps storm towards my bed. Next second, my blankets were ripped away from me and I was suddenly face to face with Lily.

"Get up Y/n, you've got school," she informed me.

"No thank you," I replied, promptly shoving my head under my pillow.

She stole that from me too. "Come on Y/n."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why not?"

I sighed, rolling over to face the ceiling as I thought about the predicament I was in. I really didn't want to tell her about Regulus, but at the same time I knew I had to tell someone, and she was my safest option.

"Because I fancy Regulus Black," I said miserably. Lily gasped, staring at me in shock. "Why are you shocked? You knew before I did!"

Lily shook her head, composing herself. "Sorry, I was just surprised that you actually admitted it. So, what's the problem then?"

I sat upright, looking at the red head in front of me incredulously. "That's the problem!" I exclaimed. "How am I supposed to face him now that I know that I like him? I'm going to be a flustered mess!"

Lily sat down on my bed next to me, looking at me in the eye. "Is that the only reason?"

I sighed, looking at the floor.

"No," I admitted quietly. "Our relationship is...complicated; I don't think he would ever like me back, which, frankly, hurts. I'm terrified of what James and Sirius would think of me if they ever found out, and I already know I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of him."

Lily put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it sympathetically.

"It's okay to feel like that, you know. Everyone's scared that their crush won't like them back, or that they'll make a fool of themselves in front of them," Lily assured. "You just have to face your fears, because spending time with that person makes up for the bad stuff."

"I mean, I guess," I mumbled, "...but, like, do I have to?"

"For Merlin's sake Y/n, get up!"

"Okay! Okay! Jeez."

I got dressed quickly and met Lily downstairs, walking to the Great Hall with her. When we entered, we sat down at the Gryffindor table, and I was determined not to look at the Slytherin table. I failed miraculously, my eyes scanning the table of green and silver before I even got my breakfast.

My eyes locked on Regulus, the raven-haired boy talking with one of his friends. As soon as I saw him, he turned his head and looked right at me. Butterflies materialised in my stomach, and I was reminded of our kiss yesterday, the feeling of his lips on mine. I looked away, piling my plate with random foods just to seem like I was doing something.

It was like my feelings had doubled since I'd realised them, and so now I was painfully aware of every thought and feeling my body had about him. It was torture. I managed to get through breakfast without looking at Regulus again, an impressive feat, and went to my first class of the day: potions.

I sat down at a table, and as Regulus walked by I felt myself hoping he'd sit next to me. He didn't, electing to sit with his friends instead, and I was left with a feeling of hollow disappointment that stayed with me for the rest of the class.

It dissipated when I went to my next class though, which was Charms. I had to sit next to him, because we were partners, and I found myself excited to simply sit next to him. When I arrived, I sat down nervously, fidgeting with my hands. Regulus arrived a few moments later, his arm brushing mine as he sat down next to me, causing my heart to jolt.

We looked at each other, the air becoming awkward as we both remembering our kiss yesterday. I cleared my throat.

"Are you ready for the prank?" I asked him.

He half smiled, gratefully grabbing at the chance to talk and get rid of the uncomfortable feeling between us. We talked about the prank for a while, and eventually that branched off to other subjects, but we were careful to avoid any subject that could lead to the kiss yesterday.

"Do you want to study today, after school?" I found myself asking.

I hadn't event thought it through properly; I just thought about how I liked spending time with him and then the words just escaped my lips of their own accord.

"Sure," Regulus agreed, relief and excitement pooling into my stomach. "It'll be too cold for a picnic, though."

"We'll have to find somewhere else then," I said.

Regulus grinned, his eyes shining. "I might know a place."

. . .

Wednesday 26th November, 1976

I arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall, spotting Regulus leaning against a wall waiting for me. I tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach as I walked over to him, but to no avail.

"Hey," I greeted.

Regulus looked up from where he had been staring intently at the floor, his face softening a fraction as he saw me.

"Hey," he replied. "Follow me."

I did as he said, walking next to him as he took me to wherever we were supposed to study. He led us to the seventh floor, where a broom closet door seemed to materialise out of nowhere. I stumbled back a step, shocked, but Regulus just laughed and took my hand, dragging me inside.

I hesitantly let him and entered a very large broom closet. I wouldn't have even called it a broom closet, if not for the door. It was big, big enough for someone to do the waltz and not hit any walls. At the back wall, a large window overlooked the Hogwarts Greenhouses and Forbidden Forest. Pillows and blankets covered the floor, as well as the occasional book, all of them about Animagus. There were even candles floating along the ceiling, similar to the ones in the Great Hall.

I stared at Regulus sceptically. He couldn't have set all of this up in the tiny amount of time we had after class finished before meeting up. It was possible he had a free period, but I was doubtful. It didn't really matter though because either way this place was amazing.

"What do you think?" Regulus asked me, instantly grabbing my attention.

I smiled. "It's perfect."

Regulus mirrored my expression and we both sat down, getting comfortable. I hid my smile when Regulus sat down next to me, closer than necessary. We grabbed some books from the floor and started flipping through them, and I remembered what I'd read the other day, about werewolves and Animagus.

"I still think those animals could have be Animagus," I commented, if only to break the silence. "The ones that had been next to the werewolf."

Regulus looked up from his book, staring at me for a few scrutinising seconds before shrugging. "Maybe, but it's unlikely."

I huffed, looking back to my book as he did the same. It was quiet for a few more minutes, no sound besides the scratching of quills as we wrote things down.

"Y/n, listen to this," Regulus said, breaking the silence. My eyes moved to his, which were currently focused on his book. "Apparently there's a spell that turns an Animagus into their human form. It's an advanced variation of the Revelio incantation that forces an Animagus to turn into their human form."

"Huh," I mused. "We should learn it. I'm sure we'd get extra credit for it."

Regulus nodded his head in agreement before silence descended upon us again. Regulus looked at me like he wanted to say something, but he kept closing his mouth and frowning, like whatever it is he wanted to say, he wasn't sure he should. Finally, he spoke.

"How is Sirius?"

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, and his gaze was downcast, avoiding mine.

"He's okay," I answered back softly. "He pretends he doesn't miss you, but he does. We all know it."

Regulus nodded his head slowly, his gaze still fixed determinedly at the floor. I wanted to hug him, to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I knew I couldn't. So instead I gave him a cookie from one of the nearby plates of food.

Regulus looked up and smiled slightly at my offer, grabbing the biscuit and brushing his fingers across mine in the process. I felt my stomach do somersaults and realised then, as I watched Regulus smile at me, that I was falling hard.

A/N:

so proud of y/n rn, no longer supressing her emotions

i could never-

hope you all enjoyed the chapter, decided to do this instead of my homework because why not