I shouldn't have said that to him. He hates Zahir because Zahir made fun of Razzaq uncle. He used to call him a ghost when he lost his hair and weight from chemotherapy, as if he were already dead.

"I'm sorry, Siddy." My eyes became moist, thinking about the pain he went through twice.

I should apologize to him. I ran after him in the direction he went. He hadn't gone far. I called his name a few times, but he didn't stop. He kept walking fast, ignoring me and my words. It hurt me so much that I started crying as I ran after him.

"Please, I beg you-" I paused as he finally stopped and looked back at me. "I am sorry," I said, sobbing.

He walked toward me with a straight face, as if he didn't care that I was crying. The thought hurt me deeply, but I didn't say anything because I knew I had hurt him more.

"Don't beg me. I'm a human, not a God. If you want to beg, beg to Allah. Anyways, what do you want?" He asked, raising an eyebrow with a frown.

I ignored his lecture and attitude and focused on apologizing. I had run to him, despite being a lazy person, because I felt it was important. I do so many things for him that I would never do for anyone else.

"I want your forgiveness. I'm sorry, Siddy. I know why you hate him so much. I do too. I just lost my temper in that moment because I think my husband should accept and love me as I am. Why would anyone try to change me? I know I'm not perfect like you, but I'm happy with who I am. I would love it more if my husband loved and accepted me as I am," I explained calmly.

"Are you done?" he asked.

"Yes," I nodded, sniffing. "I'm sorry again."

His eyes softened. "Naaz," his voice softened too, "I love you the way you are. But there are some things we shouldn't do, like cursing, lying, or showing the middle finger to people. These are basic things we can avoid. These are sins. I know it's a little hard for you, but I know you can do it." He took a pause before adding. "I don't want to be alone in heaven without you. I want you there with me." He pointed towards the sky.

I didn't say anything as he continued, "I want us to fight like Tom and Jerry forever, even in heaven. Without you, I will be bored. Without you, I am nothing." His honest words left me speechless, especially what he said at the end.

Without you, I am nothing. Sounds a little romantic, doesn't it? My heart said.

Shut up! It's nothing like that. We are just good friends. Dumbo! My mind scolded immediately.

"Naaz? Where are you lost?" His voice brought me back to the present.

"Nowhere." I shook my head sideways. "Siddy, I'll try to change myself a little for you, in a good way. Because, I will be bored without you too." I said, and we both chuckled a bit.

"Naaz, I need to go home. Mom must be waiting for me. It's getting late. You should go home too," he said, checking the time on his watch.

"Siddique?" I called him quietly.

"What happened, Naaz?" He sounded concerned.

"Can I hug you? Only if you-" Before I could finish, he pulled me into a corner and hugged me tightly, hiding me from the street's eyes. I smiled, knowing why he did it. I hugged him back, and we stayed like that for a few minutes before pulling apart before anyone noticed.

"We will meet Razzaq uncle in heaven, Siddy. At least, you will for sure. But l will try to be there, to see you both hugging each other like this." My words made him both emotional and smile at the same time.

He has a beautiful smile. I wonder why girls don't approach him. Their loss.

"You'll be with me, Naaz. I will call you there for me. I will request Allah SWT to give you back. Even if you went to hell, I'll drag you to me in heaven," he said seriously.

I smiled at his words. They meant a lot to me. But truth to be told. He can demand only his wife there, whom he will love. Not his best friend, me.

"I doubt you will remember me there," I said, just to lighten the mood, and to tease him a little.

"I will remember you," he said with confidence and determination. It made me feel overwhelmed. "After all, how can I forget this ugly face of yours?" He laughed and ran away, knowing well that I would be after him for calling me ugly.

"I will kill you, I swear to God!" I yelled at him.

"Don't lie, Naaz. I know you won't. If you do, you're definitely going to Jahannam," he yelled back, laughing.

"Even you were lying!" I yelled back before he got out of sight."He is so fu- annoying. Argh! I hate this man," I groaned in irritation.

No, you don't, My mind mocked.

"Shut up!"

As I walked back to my house, I noticed Zahir talking on the phone with someone-probably his so-called girlfriend. Ignoring him, I headed towards the building entrance, only to be stopped by him.

"What?" I was still pissed at him.

"Where's your boyfriend Siddique? Is he having a party with his father? After all, I punched him pretty hard," Zahir mocked.

Everything has a limit, even my patience. I marched to him and slapped him hard, leaving him in shock.

"How dare you?" He yelled, holding his cheeks.

"How dare I? How dare you talk nonsense about him? Who gave you the right to talk about him like that? Neither of us did. So stay the fuck away from me, and especially him. And don't you dare talk shit about him again. It won't go well for you. Understand? You moron!" I flipped him off and walked away, feeling better.

I don't understand what his problem is! First, he always picks fights with him, either beating him or getting beaten by him. Then he comes to me, indirectly asking how he is, mocking him using his father's name. All. The. Time.

He has some serious mental problems. I think he might be bipolar or obsessed with him. Whatever it is, he needs treatment to get over it. Otherwise, I'll have to do something about him.

I began to climb the stairs slowly, reflecting on how I had used the "F" word and given him the middle finger. For Siddique, I would commit any sin without regret. He is my one and only friend, after all. If only he understood me. Regardless, I still hate him.

Why is my apartment on the third floor? Why isn't there a lift? I hate this building. Siddy's apartment is so nice. He lives on the sixth floor but has a lift in his building. And then there's Rabia Begum, the building owner. She built a six-story building but didn't install a lift. Why? To become slim. If that's the reason, she should live on the top floor, not on the second. What a cheater!

I finally stopped complaining when I stood in front of my floor. I was still on the last step, bending and holding my knees, taking heavy breaths as if I had just climbed to the fifth or sixth floor.

"You can do it, Naaz. Just one last step and you're home. Yes! Do it," I encouraged myself to take the final step. I did. "Yah Allah! Finally!" I smiled in happiness.

I called my mother several times, pressing the doorbell non-stop just to irritate her. She finally opened the door after I yelled her name, "Sifat," a few times. I used to call her by her name when I was a kid. Later, I started to call her "Mom."

"Naaz! Who calls their mother by their name?" she scolded, closing the door behind us as she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water for me.

I dropped my handbag on the table and lay down on the couch to relax. "Western kids," I replied matter-of-factly.

"Yes," she agreed. "But you're not like them. So, better call me Mom, Ammi, Mum, Mumma, and all that. Understand?"

"Understood." Just for now. Ha-ha. I unlocked my phone and started using it until I heard her angry voice again.

"Naaz! Don't you dare use your phone now. You better go to your room and freshen up." She scolded, putting the glass on the table.

I took the glass, drank it, and handed it back to her without bothering to look. I trusted she would take it, and she did.

"You're useless," she commented, as usual. "Naaz! Go inside."

Argh! Getting irritated, I finally got up from the couch and walked toward my room.

"I'll get something to eat for you. Okay?" she called out.

I looked back at her from the door of my room. "Mom, I went for dinner with Siddy. We both had butter naan and spicy grilled chicken. Plus ice cream."

She paused, then asked, "Was it a date?"

I was shocked. How could she think that? Me and Siddique? A date? No way!

"What? No! We're not dating, Mom. He's just my friend. A very good friend. That's it. Sometimes he gives me an annoying elder brother vibe. I even called him brother today."

At that, the glass in her hand fell to the floor, shattering into small pieces. I gasped. "What the heck, Mom?"

"You called Siddique 'brother'?" she asked in horror.

"Umm, yes. Just once. But he asked me not to do it again, not to add another relationship between us. I was a little irritated with him. You know how he is, right? That's why I called him brother-to annoy him," I explained.

I will never call him brother. It's weird to even think about it. Ew, no way.

"Then it's fine," she said, sounding relieved.

Strange.

She was acting strange to me. Anyway, I locked the door behind me and dropped myself onto the bed to use my phone and check on him. I know he was hurting. That Zahid- I'm going to do something about him someday.

I don't know why, but I feel something is wrong with Zahid. The way he tries to interact with Siddy is weird. And his so-called girlfriend- she's a weirdo too. Siddy once told me how she tried to seduce him.

I wonder how she did that to him? She should have checked her face in the mirror before approaching him. Like, come on! Has she seen how good-looking my friend is? Huh? How good is he?

I have never seen him looking at another woman apart from me. An unknown smile came to my face thinking about it. I took pride in it. He is such a good person. His wife will be one lucky woman.

"Okay, let's not go there now." I don't know why, but I don't like the idea of him with another girl. He is my friend, right? He should always be with me.

What nonsense, Naaz? He will definitely have a wife later. And also babies. Who will call you Naaz aunty. My mind said.

"Ew, no way. Shut up."

The whole idea of marriage is irritating. Throwing my phone on the bed, I dashed into the bathroom to freshen up, in a sour mood.

"He is just my friend," I told myself, looking in the mirror. Then I walked out and lay down on the bed, closing my eyes to rest.

I've decided that tonight I will watch a movie from either the Fifty Shades or 365 Days series, something in between those two. I often think about watching them but never do, thanks to him. He always stops me, and I listen to him.

Knowingly or unknowingly, he holds great power over me and my mind. How did it happen? I don't understand. But I know he is someone very important to me, and I can't hurt him at any cost. He has been through a lot, and I can't add to his burdens.

"Ugh! This man is everywhere!" Feeling irritated, I sit up on the bed and pick up my phone to message him.

-Did you get home safely? And don't forget to apply ice to your bruises, Siddy. I didn't forget. I even asked the shopkeeper for ice when I went to buy ice cream for us. Plus, Mom would freak out seeing you like that, which is why I didn't call you up. Take care. ;)

I set my phone aside and lay down to rest, waiting for his response. I don't quite understand what we have between us or why we are so close. If something happens to him, I panic and get stressed out, and he feels the same way about me. Perhaps we are soulmates or something like that. However, there's a twist in our tale: we're just good friends, not lovers. Crazy!

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Thank you.. ❤️