「and we would live again
in the simplest of ways
living day after day」

♫ billie eilish - the end of the world

✩ h o n g j o o n g ✩
mature

His fingers stroked against the wall, bumping over every little crack in the old yellow painting, while he dragged his body up the stairs. The air was the same thick and warm, suffocating one, with a hint of smoke - exactly like he remembered it.

The sun was dimmed by the dust on the windows, and the floor and staircase looked like it hadn't been washed or swept in ages. Hongjoong smiled to himself, everything was just like it had been before he left, and for once he didn't wish for more than to walk up the stairs in that old, rundown apartment complex.

"Gigi?"

His voice was shaking, as he called out for the taller. Mingi had to be home, the door was unlocked - something Hongjoong had told him not to do so many times. Living in a bad neighborhood like that, it wasn't exactly the safest thing to do. But this time, it made him smile, knowing that some things apparently never change.

The apartment looked the same as well, with a filled ashtray on the dining table, and dirty dishes by the sink. All the furniture were in the same spots as they used to, inside the small apartment.

"Joong?"

Mingi stepped out from his bedroom, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He then looked confused at Hongjoong. His narrow eyes blinked a few times, and judging from his messy hair he had just woken up from a nap.

"Is it really you?"

Hongjoong couldn't hold his tears back any longer. He ran towards the taller and jumped into his arms. Snuggling his face against Mingi's neck, he sobbed loudly - but with a smile on his lips. Mingi reciprocated the hug, holding him tight in his strong arms.

"It is... I'm home, Gigi."

Resting his head against Mingi's chest, Hongjoong let go of a sigh - one so heavy that it felt like his body became so light he could simply float away.

"I-I thought you were mad at me..." Mingi then said with a hum that made his chest vibrate against Hongjoong's ear.

With a brow raised, Hongjoong slowly pulled away from the embrace, and he questioning at Mingi.

"What? Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because you sent me that text? Saying how you were sick of me holding you back from getting a good life, and that I shouldn't come look for you..." The taller was clearly still hurt by it, but he tried to play it cool with a shrug of his broad shoulders.

He then walked towards the old couch, that ugly worn-out piece of shitty furniture - which Hongjoong simply couldn't wait to sit on again. He carefully followed Mingi to sit down, and soon after both of them were blowing smoke into the air around them. Everything felt just like it was supposed to be.

"I-I don't remember sending such a message..." Hongjoong mumbled with the cigarette at his lips.

It was the definite truth, he had no memory of writing such a hurtful message, but at the same time he wouldn't deny it completely. He had been in a rather messed up state, where he had no idea what he was saying or doing.

"I'm sorry, I don't think that way about you. You're my best friend... And I... I've missed you a lot."

"It's all good," Mingi assured him while blowing smoke rings. "It's been like a year, you know, it doesn't matter anymore.

Hongjoong almost flew up from the couch to stare at him, shocked. He knew he had been away for quite some time, but a year? To him it felt more like a few of months, it couldn't possibly be true.

"What?"

"I said, it doesn't matter," Mingi repeated, not catching onto the reason for Hongjoong's confusion. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Honestly, Gigi... I have no idea."

Hongjoong leaned his head against the backrest of the couch, staring at the ceiling while smoking the rest of the cigarette. He wanted to tell Mingi everything, but he didn't know where to start - or if the taller would even want to hear it at all. Surely, he would have to leave out the last part about Seonghwa, and all the killings...

Biting his lips, chewing it lightly while thinking things over, Hongjoong came to the conclusion not to tell his old best friend too much right in that moment.

"I'm just happy to be back..."

✩

"Do you miss it?" Hongjoong asked, sipping slowly from the glass in his hand.

The music was loud, way louder than he remembered it, and causing them to stand so close to each other that their skin touched. Leaned against the bar, they both looked at the stage where they used to work. Spotlight and glitter, feathers and money bills were all over the place, in one big, perfect mess.

"I do," Yeosang responded with a chuckle. "Especially because I was so damn good at it!"

"You really were."

They clinked their glasses together in a cheer, and Hongjoong wasn't sure if it was the alcohol kicking in, or being back in a familiar setting - but looking at Yeosang now, was like looking at him when Hongjoong first fell in love.

After their return a couple of days ago, he had noticed a drastic change in Yeosang's persona. He was like he used to be, flirty and mysterious in an intriguing way - and not a terrifying one. His hair had been dyed back to dark brown, framing his face so beautifully that it would be a sin not to look at him.

"And so were you," Yeosang purred in Hongjoong's ear, and the soft lips was stroking down against his neck, tickling and warm.

Humming at the touch, Hongjoong closed his eyes for a brief moment. His fingers dove into the dark locks, while Yeosang was kissing his neck so softly. They were both drunk, Hongjoong possibly the most of them. Ever since he came back, he had felt so lost and empty inside, and that emptiness could only be ignored a little, with the help of alcohol.

"Do you miss this?"

A hand was stroking slowly down Hongjoong's chest, and his body was warming up in an instant. He had told himself not to get involved with anyone after getting home. Not Yeosang, not San, no one. He needed time to overcome all the things he had seen and done, alone - but tonight, the younger was simply too hard to resist.

They had hung out at Hongjoong's place a few times, not really doing anything or talking about anything in particular. Both of them simply needed the comfort of another person being close to them. No calls or messages from San had shown up on Hongjoong's phone, and with that he assumed that it was finally time to put that chapter of his life behind him.

The taste of Yeosang's tongue was all over his own, only seconds later. Hongjoong pressed the younger against the bar, feeling up his body and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Arms were slung around his neck, pulling him closer and as their bodies were grinding against each other, it was no secret how badly both of them wanted it.

✩

The bed was creaking loudly, and the headboard bumping against the wall, while moans floated from their lips. Hongjoong swept the wet locks of his hair away from his face, and looked down at Yeosang under him - looking so beautiful under the dimmed light.

"I have missed this indeed," Hongjoong whispered against the younger's lips, and he was pulled down closer to meet in a warm kiss.

His hands stroked down the smooth skin, feeling every inch of it and reminding how exactly how much he had missed them being together in bed. With his hands on each side of Yeosang's hips, he pushed further inside, making the younger gasp so sweetly under him.

Every night since he came back, he had been haunted by the memories of what had happened,. They had disguised themselves as nightmares, but when he woke up - gasping for air and with sweat rolling down his back, he couldn't escape the fact that it all had been real. Hongjoong knew that sleeping with Yeosang wouldn't make things easier at all, and that he probably shouldn't have done it, but in that moment it eased his mind so immensely that he didn't care.

With their lips locked together, tongues swirling around each other, he lifted the younger's legs up towards his own hips. Yeosang was whining into the kiss, with his fingers tangled into the brown hair above him, as Hongjoong fucked him harder than he ever had before.

Hongjoong felt his body tremble as he got close to his climax. The warm skin against his, the wonderful tightness around his cock and the taste of Yeosang's lips on his own. He was finally right where he was supposed to be.

He was finally home again.

✩