「there are no gods
where I am from
my life is mine
my fate is my own」

♫grusom; no gods

✩ y e o s a n g ✩

"Tell me you love me."

Another deep cut left long, bloody lines trickling down the pale skin in front of him. His eyes followed, followed the drops of blood that rolled downwards and how it became smaller on the way. Fascinating

The sun was rising outside but Yeosang's mind was as dark as ever. His hand which had been shaking to begin with was now holding firmly around the handle of the knife. Hours had passed, but while another's life was slowly slipping away in front of him, he only felt stronger inside himself.

"Why?" Seonghwa glared at him, with every breath sounding like a rattling struggle.

But the older had not cried, not screamed - not even once. He took every cut with a stone cold look on his perfect face, and his deathly stare kept following Yeosang whenever he moved.

"Do it." Yeosang pressed the edge of the knife against the older's skin - against the several cuts he had already left behind - this time only lightly, but it was enough to make Seonghwa writhe a little against the chair he was still tied to.

Now he knew how Seonghwa had felt every time he had dragged him into the basement to hurt him - how disappointed he had been that Yeosang had held his tears back, and how he didn't want to cry for mercy.

He wanted to hear Seonghwa scream.

"I love you," Seonghwa growled through his dry lips, and he gritted his teeth as the knife was pressed harder against his chest.

"Then, do as I'm asking you to."

Sitting on top of the table, which was positioned in front of the chair Seonghwa was tied to, Yeosang had one leg on each side of the older's seat - and a perfect height for him to finally be the one looking down at the other. His own hands and clothes were decorated with red spots and streaks, but he pulled the knife away while waiting for Seonghwa to make the right decision. 

"You're out of your goddamn mind. You really think I'll leave it all to you, after this?"

"Of course, it is the very reason for you to do it." Yeosang smirked, finding Seonghwa's private cellphone and with his hand reached out he waved the phone back and forth a few times, waiting for an answer.

Seonghwa glared at the phone, then at Yeosang, then back at the phone again. The thing Yeosang had asked him to do was insane, but to Yeosang himself it felt just right. Now that the tables had turned, now that he knew what it was like to be the one in control - he had no intention of letting it go again.

"Your brothers are coming to tear apart all the things you've built, to tarnish your name and mock all your hard work. They have everything they need to take you down. You will either die in prison or at their hand. Nonetheless, there will be nothing left on this planet to remember you by once they're done. So, let's do it my way."

The sun was slowly starting to peek through the windows with its warm morning glow, and although Yeosang acted calm he was about to lose his patience. How many cuts would it take to convince Seonghwa he was being serious? Yeosang knew he had to be careful now, he was running out of both time and the older's life.

He felt how the sweat was starting to roll down the back of his neck, although his body was freezing cold, and his heart was beginning to beat faster as the thought of Seonghwa dying, before he had agreed to Yeosang's offer, occurred.

"Make the call." Seonghwa's lips barely moved as he spoke, and he fought to hold his head up to stare into Yeosang's eyes.

"I'll make you proud my love, don't you worry." With a smile Yeosang swiped the phone open and scrolled down to find the phone number he needed. But as he was about to press the call button, his eyes darted towards Seonghwa and his brows furrowed down while the smile disappeared. "Don't fuck it up now, okay?"

Seonghwa nodded with a cold look on his face, and Yeosang made the call on speaker with the phone in one hand and the other holding the knife against Seonghwa's neck.

"Hello, Mr. Choi? Where have you been, everyone was starting to worry!" A deep man voice said from the other end of the call.

"Yes, it's me. Listen to me carefully now, this is extremely important." Despite his condition, Seonghwa spoke just as he used to - cold, demanding - terrifying. Had he not hated him with every inch of his body, Yeosang would have admired the determination. "I have received the news that someone is out to get me, and I need to go underground until I have figured out how to get rid of them. Until I'm back, you will all refer only to, and take orders from, my fiancé, Kang Yeosang. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Let everyone know."

With a nod Seonghwa signaled that it was time to hang up, and Yeosang did so with a gloating smile spreading on his face. Seonghwa had just given him everything. The family business and the underground ones as well, access to all his bank accounts.

All the power.

"Satisfied?" Seonghwa then scoffed.

"Yes, very," Yeosang replied as he got down from the table.

As he was about to leave the room he looked over his shoulder, and while his eyes wandered down over the many cuts and bruises he had made on Seonghwa's body, his heart began to feel a little lighter. Yeosang went to the bathroom to grab a small mirror, which he placed on the table in front of Seonghwa, who was glaring at him in confusion.

"What is that for?" Seonghwa groaned, but the tone in his voice showed that he was out of energy to actually care.

"Just a helping hand for you when you arrive in Hell. If you're searching for the Devil, just look for this face."

Making sure to angle the mirror just right, Yeosang let the older have a few seconds of angry sneering, and the dark eyes darted between his own reflection and Yeosang's smirking face.

"Now," Yeosang then said, as he straddled down over Seonghwa's lap, getting a little response as a low groan coming from the older. "It's time to die."

"You've surprised me, love," Seonghwa suddenly said, voice clear and the corners of his lips pulled upwards in his last moment of the insanity that always had controlled his mind. "I knew I chose you for a reason. Too bad I'll have to say goodbye to you so soon."

"Guess I'll see you in Hell," Yeosang sneered, with his hand clenched around the knife.

Neither of them blinked in that moment, when Yeosang stabbed the knife through Seonghwa's chest. The blood was streaming down over his hand, as he pressed the blade in further, warm and thick - and filling him with life as Seonghwa was dying right in front of him.

But the smirk on the older's face didn't disappear, instead it only grew bigger. Yeosang stared at him, calmly - but confused. Seonghwa then leaned forward as much as he was able to, and his deep voice sent one last curse through Yeosang's ears.

"I know what you're thinking," Seonghwa chuckled with his last breath. "What you've always been thinking. But remember this moment, Yeosang, remember these words. We are the same. We've always been the same, and you just proved me right."

Yeosang felt how anger instantly rose inside of him. Seonghwa was wrong, there was no way in Hell they were alike. He remembered all the times the older had whispered those words to him, while he had been held down in bed, or on the cold floor with no other choice but accept what was being done to him.

"I am nothing like you," Yeosang growled, but the eyes staring back at him were now bleak, and his words floated around them room with no one to hear them but himself.

✩

Yeosang had just put the last tea cup back in the cabinet, and he hung the apron on a small hook on the wall before leaving the white painted kitchen. He then went back to the dining area where he sat down at the opposite side of the table, hands folded in front of him and head tilted to the side while he looked at his fiancé's dead eyes.

"Don't worry," he hummed. "I've sent the men outside away, so they won't be bothering us again."

Twirling a lock of his blonde hair around his finger, Yeosang's eyes wandered around the room, and a small scoff revealed the absurd but amusing thought just how much power money could give someone. Now he owned it all, and the hired men San had brought with him hadn't been hard to pay off to leave right away.

What a sick world.

A small thud caused him to turn his head in the direction of the sound, and with a sigh he got up from his seat. He walked down the narrow hallway in the cottage house, and with a push of his he opened the door to one of the bedrooms.

Hongjoong was on the bed, still fast asleep from the anesthetic. Yeosang briefly forgot about the strange sound, as he looked at Hongjoong sleeping, so peacefully - so beautifully. Next to him was Jongho, also sleeping as a rock and tied to the big armchair in the corner of the room. The youngest Choi brother could clearly not be paid off to go away, but luckily were the other men stronger than him.

Yeosang lingered a little at the door. He didn't want to hurt Hongjoong, but after their last encounter he had to make sure they could trust each other again. His heart hurt so bad, as he watched Hongjoong for just a little moment longer.

Another thud pulled him out of his thoughts, and he clenched his fist when he realized where the sound was coming from. If Hongjoong didn't love him anymore, Yeosang was certain it could only mean one thing.

One person.

"Now," he said as he opened the door to the guest bedroom. "What do we do about you, San?"

✩