「there's a monster standing
where you should be
so I'll paint your wings
and I'll set you free」

♫all time low; paint your wings

✩ y e o s a n g ✩

Yeosang thought he had already seen the most evil darkness in the world, all the times he had looked into the endless black pits of Seonghwa's eyes.

But the look he saw in Hongjoong's that night was a whole new kind of darkness.

One that made ice cold shivers stream down his spine, tore his heart out and made him believe that there was no way out - he would rot up in the vile place he had put himself into, and the doors would be guarded by the person he so desperately had tried to save.

"Go to your old room and pack your things, then meet me in my office." Seonghwa had told him, but his deep voice was only a buzzing in Yeosang's head as he walked down the corridor to where he used to live.

As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he collapsed on the floor, overwhelmed by the horror he had witnessed only minutes ago - the one he hadn't done anything to put a stop to.

His first love had died right in front of him, not even given a chance to fight for his life.

Yeosang cried silently but violently into his hands, as the memories with Wooyoung flashed through his mind. There had been good times as well, although they had been rare, but if there hadn't been any at all he wouldn't have tried to make things work for so long. Or so he told himself, back then. Now, he was alone, caught in a lethal web where one wrong move would be paid with his life.

He felt nauseous, gagging on pure air at the disgusting images that slowly took over behind his closed eyelids. The blood, all that damn blood that had run across the floor from the open wounds - ripping Wooyoung's soul out and left him dangling from the ceiling with bleak eyes.

The order to go pack his things, to get all of it moved to Seonghwa's apartment, was soon forgotten, and instead Yeosang threw all of it around. Broke whatever could be broken on the floor, tore his clothes apart, with screams begging to leave his trembling lips.

As he stood there in the chaos he had made, with messy hair and teary eyes, his hands closed into hard clenched fists, and he suddenly turned around and left the room.

With determined steps he was aiming for Hongjoong's room - if there was even the smallest glimpse of who he used to be left inside of him, Yeosang would find it. He had to.

But between him and his destination, a monster showed itself.

Joshua came walking towards him, all dressed up and on his way to work. The soft blonde curls around his face waved so calmly, hiding the dangerous storm that was hidden in the depths of his eyes.

"Congratulations on your engagement," the older blonde said mockingly, as the two of them were about to pass each other by.

"Don't be so jealous, Joshua," Yeosang scoffed back, straightening his back a little extra to show he wasn't intimidated at all - although in reality, he was scared of everything behind the walls of the mansion.

A casual stroke of his own finger brushed a lock of hair away from his face, only to infuriate the older with the look of the diamond ring on his finger.

"Like I even give a shit anymore," Joshua then said, moving way too close for Yeosang's liking. "I've found someone new, as you've already seen. And he is being so good to me."

What Yeosang wouldn't give, to be able to smack Joshua down right there in the middle of the hallway. He kept the expression on his face calm, but inside he was burning with anger. The thought of Joshua putting his disgusting hands on Hongjoong made his stomach turn.

"It's not the real Hongjoong, you know," he coldly stated, not budging under Joshua's demeaning stare. "The real one would never touch you out of free will."

"No? These feel pretty real though," Joshua smirked, lifting his shirt up to reveal the cuts of bruises that decorated his skin. "And it felt real as well, each and every time he came inside of me."

Joshua shoved his way past Yeosang, grinding their shoulders together as neither of them wanted to make room for the other. He then glanced over his shoulder, with the evil smirk still showing on his face.

"Seonghwa will get tired of you eventually, just wait and see. And then, you'll have no one."

"Aren't you late for work already? You know how my dear fiancé hates it when people are late." Yeosang snorted, and he noticed how Joshua's top lip was trembling - most likely out of spite and anger, which to Yeosang felt like a small victory.

He waited until the older blonde had turned the corner, and he counted the seconds until three minutes had passed, just to be sure. He then continued towards his chosen destination, heart pounding hard in his chest.

Without any clear plan in his mind, he opened the door and walked into the room he knew belonged to Hongjoong. And right on cue, the older came walking out of the bathroom with damp hair and a towel around his slim waist.

Yeosang's eyes narrowed down, as they fell on the newly made red marks on Hongjoong's neck, but he quickly swayed away to cover up how much it affected him.

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong asked, in a voice Yeosang had never heard coming from those lips before.

He now felt it, how the lack of plans washed over him, and he stood for a while in silence - just staring blankly at the person he used to know so well.

The one who was now like a complete stranger.

"Did you sleep with him?" he suddenly heard himself ask. It was the last worry on his mind, but somehow it had come to be the first question to pop out. He winced at the reminder of the times Seonghwa had come home smelling just like Hongjoong, and he already knew what had happened without anyone telling him.

He didn't even want to know, so why did he have to ask that stupid question...

"Who? Joshua? That's pretty obvious, isn't it?" Hongjoong scoffed, walking towards his room to get dressed.

"No." Yeosang promptly said. "Seonghwa."

Hongjoong then stopped and turned around with his dark hair falling over his eyes, and the last drops of water were dripping from the damp locks and onto his bare shoulders - rolling down the honey glowing skin that used to feel so good against Yeosang's own.

"Oh... Yeah, I did."

Yeosang could feel a growl building up in his throat, and he slowly stepped towards the older, glaring into his brown eyes.

"Told you to stay away from him," he sneered behind gritted teeth. He did tell Hongjoong that, the first time they spoke together in this horrid place. He wanted to protect him, he thought he did - but he failed, so miserably much.

"I'm sorry, I don't recall taking orders from you?" The mocking tone in Hongjoong's voice was too recognizable, and it ignited a wild fury in Yeosang's body. Hearing him talk in that exact way, was just like talking with Joshua...

"We are getting married," Yeosang then growled, fueled by the hate towards the other blonde, towards Seonghwa and the entire fucked up world. "So you will do as I say as well."

"Until I hear those words from Seonghwa's lips, they don't mean anything to me," it then came from Hongjoong who took the last steps towards his room. "Just like you don't mean anything to me."

Yeosang let the words cut through his heart, dig in deep and the pain was overwhelming. He stood alone in the small shared living space, as Hongjoong had disappeared behind the door to get dressed, but battle wasn't over yet.

With his eyes blinded by anger and frustration, he entered Hongjoong's room - with the last desperate attempt of pulling Hongjoong back to life.

He yanked the older by the arm, turned him around only to shove him against the wall. Yeosang then forced their lips together, aggressively and without thinking at all. As Hongjoong didn't kiss him back, Yeosang cupped his cheeks and stared intensely into his eyes.

A dark haze was covering the irises, one that Yeosang knew all too well himself. One that would hide your soul and shield you from the horrifying reality - but also one, in which you would lose yourself if you didn't tread carefully.

His heart was beating so fast, while he searched for a glimpse of the old Hongjoong, the one he had fallen in love with - the one he had sacrificed everything for.

"Hongjoong..." he whispered, voice shaking and raspy. "I love you."

The brown eyes changed, but not in the way Yeosang had hoped for. Instead they turned even darker, and a degrading chuckle rolled over Hongjoong's lips.

"You love me, but you're getting married to someone else?" Hongjoong snorted. "You really are a whore, aren't you?"

Caught in the scent that used to make him smile, showered with Summer rain, the broken pieces of his heart were sinking in all the moments he had taken for granted.

But something even worse was about to happen. In the short moment of total bewilderment over Hongjoong's answer, Yeosang lost his focus and was suddenly pushed away. Hongjoong then grabbed him with a firm hand around his upper arm and dragged him towards the bed.

Yeosang's eyes widened up, and a painful gasp flew from his parted lips as his back hit the mattress. His legs were kicked apart and a tight grip closed around his neck. Hongjoong glared at him, and tears started to well up in Yeosang's eyes when he realized that Hongjoong was too far gone to be saved.

No one was allowed to put their hands on Yeosang, without Seonghwa's acceptance, and with the way Hongjoong was so violently doing it - it was clear that he hadn't been granted that permission.

At this point, he didn't even fear Seonghwa anymore.

"But if you want to get fucked so badly, I'll do it." The cold whisper ran like icing pain through Yeosang's ear, when Hongjoong was hovering over him, squeezing his neck and preventing any cries to leave his mouth.

He tried to push him away, hit him on the chest in hopes that he would let go - but Hongjoong had gotten way stronger than before, and the look in his eyes showed that he wasn't going to let go until he had gotten what he wanted.

Tears rolled down Yeosang's cheeks, as he got felt up under his shirt. His own hands closed around the one around his throat, frantically trying to loosen the grip.

Finally, Hongjoong did it - only a little though - and Yeosang was gasping for air under him.

"Please don't do this..." he begged through his drowning sobs. "Hongjoong... Please, come back to me... I'm sorry, I was too late. But I love you, I love you so much..."

One last time, just one - he searched through Hongjoong's eyes, traced every detail of his face while praying he would see a change. And he found one, but it was far from what he had wanted.

"See?" A voice suddenly spoke from the door. And Yeosang didn't even have to turn his head to know who it was. "I told you so."

The grip around his neck was removed, and through his tears he saw the face of the one he knew would be the last he'd ever see.

Joshua was snaking himself around the dark haired older next to him, but his presence couldn't be any less important in that moment. His words faded, as Yeosang was pulled straight into the raging flames of Seonghwa's eyes.

The older didn't say a word, he simply walked towards the bed and pulled Yeosang off it with one rough move. He then took him by the hand, squeezing it so hard that the ring dug into the fingers next to it, and dragged him out of the room. It hurt so bad, but he knew it would be nothing compared to what the older would do to him next.

As he was forcefully hauled down the hallway, gasping for air between the painful cries that wouldn't stop, he heard Seonghwa speak on the phone.

"Are you done cleaning downstairs?" the deep voice asked, and Yeosang squinted his eyes together, as his breathing became too hard to control. "Good. Because I need to use it again."

✩