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═══════ LAP 21/30 ═══════

🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤
I'M BACK FROM HIATUS!!!
I know it's been a couple months, but you seriously have no idea how thankful I am for those of you who waited patiently and allowed me to finish my other priorities. (As soon as I finished Chun Li, I got a job where I work 5 days a week so Oof 💀)
ALSO NEARLY 900K?!
Last chapter, we had just passed 400K! Insanity!
I made sure to make this chapter extra juicy for you as a token of gratitude! ;) also thank you for the 21st bday wishes & DON'T PLAY THE AUDIO YET! Remember to vote, comment & enjoy!
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From minute to hour, the sun surpassing my window morphs from nightly skies to mocking daylight. Tweeting birds greet our window while clouds slowly drift past the frame... And yet, I remain awake with my back to the wall and my arms hugging my knees.

I can't help but sniff and wipe my cheek with my sleeve for the hundredth time. Ever since Keith left last night, I've been a crying mess. I've never felt so guilty.

...He has every right to be mad though. I cheated on him. Part of me is waiting, hoping, that he'll come through that door and give me another chance. That he'll realize I didn't mean to hurt him and know that I'd never make that mistake again... But what's the point? Like he said, I used him as my emotional crutch. I shouldn't have rushed into our relationship. I thought 2 months was enough of a gap to heal but I guess I underestimated what I had with JK.

Burying my face deeper into my knees, guilty thoughts continue to cage my mind until a knock sounds at the door.

"Pumpkin, you in there?"

"*Sniff* It's unlocked Paps."

Dad opens the door to my apartment with a shopping bag on cue, taking a slow look around and noticing the slight emptiness of belongings.

"Well I stopped by the store and thought I'd bring you and Keith some—"

Dad stops the moment he spots me on the bedroom floor with swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He immediately sets down his bags and furrows his brows in confusion.

"Baby, what's wrong??"

For some reason, the simplicity of his question triggers me to burst into more tears. Dad frowns and squats onto the floor next to me, puffing his cheeks and holding his bad back in the process. Nevertheless, I lean on his shoulder and sniff behind my sleeve whilst allowing him to wrap an arm around me.

"Shego, what happened?"

"...Keith left last night."

"Left?" He leans back, "Left where?"

"Left forever. Gone. I cheated on him Paps... I didn't mean to but it just happened. When I told Keith the truth, he packed his things and left on the spot. I really hurt him Dad, and now he's done with me. I feel awful."

Dad sighs and rests my head back on his shoulder.

"Baby, if you already confessed and apologized to Keith then there's not much more you can do. What use is sitting here beating yourself up all night? I'm sure Keith knows this isn't the kind of person you are but unfortunately, we're human. We make mistakes."

"...So I'm not a bad person?"

"My little girl? A bad person?" He chuckles. "Of course not. I mean sure, it was a crummy thing to do, but cheating has never been in your character Shego. You made a mistake and you took accountability for it. That's the only clarity you can give to him right now... How did this even happen anyway? Who got you into this?"

"I um," My eyes wander awkwardly before I sigh, "I kissed JK last night."

The second I utter his name, Dad slumps against the wall and rolls his head back to run a hand down his face.

"For Pete's sake Shego. Why him..."

"I didn't mean to! I swear I tried to resist. But then we kissed and I just... Melted. I realize now that those feelings never left. But at the same time, I've been away from that lifestyle for so long that even if I were to go back to JK, the anxiety... I don't think I could face him every day."

Dad only shakes his head with a huff whilst staring at the wall. "Now I feel like I've been dumped. How could you Shego..."

"Paps!" I smack his arm. "You said everybody makes mistakes!"

"Well yeah but then you went and mentioned that... That thug. We lost a good one Shego." He wipes an invisible tear which makes me sigh.

"I guess while everything's off the table... There's something else I should show you."

Wiping the last pair of tears from my eyes, I sniff and rotate towards Dad before pulling up the corner of my shirt. His eyes immediately latch onto my navel piercing and Gatti waist tattoo before blinking rapidly.

"...Please tell me those are fake."

"Sorry Paps."

Once again, he shields his eyes and throws his head back with a stressed-out groan. "Okay now you're stressing me out. Why'd you go and do this to yourself Shego? You look like one of them."

"At the time, I thought alterations like matching tattoos would impress him enough to make us closer. I guess in a way it did because I haven't been able to escape him since. It's okay. I knew you'd be mad..."

Dad rolls his eyes playfully. "I'm not... Mad at you. Sometimes I just wanna shake your shoulders until some sense seeps into your head—"

"Paps."

"Look Pumpkin, I won't force you to make any decisions that don't feel natural. This is your journey. I mean personallyy I'm all Team Keith and I'd recommend you chase that boy down and beg for forgiveness, in fact I'd do it for you—"

"Paps!"

"Aight, alright." He sits back down. "My point is, just do what your heart tells you. This all happened for a reason, right? Because you couldn't go against your heart. Well your mother was my first love and I miss her every day. I couldn't imagine moving on after only two months... As much as I don't like the boy, clearly you still think about him. If JK is really your first love and your heart aches for him, then do something about it."

With a comforting grin, Dad pats my arm before standing.

"I'm gonna make us some breakfast, hm? 'Start this morning off right. And no more crying. You're a strong, beautiful young lady who's working out her feelings. Remember that."

I tug a faint smile when he dries my cheek and kisses my forehead. Once Dad walks off, my heart plummets heatedly into my stomach when a text causes my phone to vibrate. I immediately pick it up with the hope that it's from Keith, but instead read another name.

COUSIN J 🌈🍻:
What's good Cuz?? The gang were asking bout you today. We're hanging by the club later, you should come thru. If you can't that's cool, you know I'm always here for you :)

I look up from the screen and squint in thought, my lips twisting to contain a faint hum...

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— LATER, AT NIGHT —

A few hours go by by the time I step foot onto the backstreet of Hopeworld. As usual, everyone spends the night lounging and chatting lightheartedly while RnB music plays from inside. Luckily there aren't too many people out tonight, making for a less pressuring atmosphere.

J instantly notices me before greeting me with open arms. "Ayyy Shego, you made it!"

"Yep." I smile timidly. "I got your text."

"What made you change your mind?

I shrug and hug my arms whilst looking around a little nervously. "Just thought I'd step out of my comfort zone a little. I could use the change."

"I see. Well I made sure to tell everybody that it's just chill vibes tonight. Pretty sure the only ones who brought their rides are Nicki and Meek so don't worry about any crazy races tonight. Just make yourself comfortable."

I lean on one foot to get a glance at the only vehicles occupying the road. Nicki's Ferrari is spray-painted a matte baby pink unlike last time, while Meek's Kawasaki motorcycle shines a metallic black and orange. Staring at the sight causes me to swallow before using all of my courage to ask;

"Actually J, I wouldn't mind a race."

"You wouldn't??" He asks with widened eyes. His shock makes me chuckle.

"You seem surprised."

"I-I mean if you wanna race, sure. But why?"

"Honestly, I'm just tired of living in regret and anxiety. These last 24 hours haven't been the easiest. Maybe this is a sign to finally get comfortable in scary settings."

My words cast a wide smile across J's lips as he shakes my shoulder. "That's my girl. Yo Nicki! Meek!"

"What's up man?"

"Shego said she wants to race. Which one of you wants to take her on?"

"Yo you kidding me? I've been waiting for some action to hit this street. Let's do it." Meek fist bumps me with friendly laughter before Nicki gasps and grabs my wrist.

"Girlll you've gotta take my car! Ayo hoe, you coming?!" Nicki screams at Chyna. Chyna looks away from the conversation she was having with extremely red squinted eyes and a roll-up between her fingers. Though despite being insanely high, she closes her eyes and sways whilst slowly pumping her fist in celebration.

"Then it's settled. Hey everyone get out here! My little cousin's gonna verse Meek!"

Everybody joins us outside with drinks in hand at J's holler which ultimately causes me to gulp. Nevertheless, I take a deep breath and enter the pastel pink vehicle with Nicki sitting by my side and Chyna in the backseat.

J's voice just about pushes through the background chanting when he leans against my convertible door.

"You ready?"

"Mhm." I stare at the golden Ferrari emblem while my fingers fall around the leather steering wheel one by one. The moment I nod, J pats my shoulder before stepping back.

"Alright guys! We're doing one lap around the block, just for fun! On your marks..."

A stylish black and orange helmet swallows meek's head as he tosses a leg over his Kawasaki and twists the handles back. I tighten my grip around the wheel and rev my engine to match his adrenaline.

"Get set... GO!"

The second J lowers his arms, Meek bolts off ahead of us with nothing but his shrinking headlights cutting through the darkness. I immediately pull back the gear stick and floor it while Nicki rests her stilettos on the dashboard and plops a lollipop in her mouth.

"Mmf, floor it girl!"

My breath hitches slightly when Meek suddenly pulls a sharp turn, forcing me to drift at the street's corner and cause our three bodies to jerk. "Dangg!" Nicki uses her long acrylics to sweep the hair from her eyes as I catch up to Meek's motorcycle.

He glances at us through the tinted shield of his helmet and grins before pulling back his handles to perform a risky wheely. I beam bright and purposely trigger the exhaust pipes so flames shoot from our Ferrari's rear, giving the spectators of Hopeworld a flashy show.

"WOOOOO! That's what I'm talking about!" Nicki raises her lollipop in the air, her ridiculously long hair stirring in the wind. Meanwhile, Chyna somehow sits behind us with a tilted head and shut eyes as she snores peacefully.

I have the say, racing around the block of Hopeworld feels a lot different from my nights at Gatti. There's a more free-spirited, carefree vibe here. No Big Joe, no bets, no pressure... Just putting on a show for the fun of it.

Meek can do nothing but drink in Nicki's bumper that reads "BARB1E" when I manage to overtake him and win the race entirely. A surprised but excited smile brightens my face when I turn to Nicki before she squeals and locks her fingers with mine.

"Damnnn little boo, watchyu' know about winning races like that?! I swear you're too hot! Chyna ain't she hot?? ...BITCH wake up!" Nicki suddenly smacks her on the ass.

Upon returning to our starting position, everyone at Hopeworld cheers and raises their cups excitedly while Meek even pulls me into a manly chest-hug. Rather than make a bunch of noise, J instead stands back, smiles and claps from a distance.

But the moment out eyes lock between the crowd of shoulders, he curls his finger and walks away withour a word.

My brows frown as I reluctantly follow...

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The dispersed party-goers of Hopeworld continue to converse as J sits on the hood of a random Porsche and watches the view. The skyline of Santa Clarita holds such a contrast over L.A. Rather than luminescent city lights and police sirens, I admire the simplicity of our overlapping hills and short, compact buildings.

J pats the spot beside him with a sigh, motioning for me to join.

"You gotta talk to me Cuz. What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That! You beat Meek like some kinda pro race. Just the other day, you were shaking in your boots from looking at cars."

"Oh shush." I shove him with an embarrassed chuckle, making him smile while waiting patiently.

"Racing is just... A skill I acquired in Compton."

"Oh, because of your ex, right? Do I finally get to know this mystery guy's name?"

Despite his playfully bouncing brows, the question causes me to swallow with a bitter taste.

"...His name was JK."

It wasn't rocket science for J to notice the sudden awkwardness in my tone.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Shego—"

"I said nothing's wrong! Please J..." I immediately lean forward, grounding my elbows on my knees and covering my eyes stressfully. J frowns and rubs my back in confusion.

"Woahh Cuz, what's going on with you?"

I exhale and shake my head with my eyes still covered. "Keith broke up with me last night."

"What?! No way. Why would he—"

"Because I kissed my ex, J. It was such a shitty thing to do to him, but there's no going back now. I've lost him and I'm accepting that. It's just... Now I don't know what to do. As much as I wanna sit here and say JK is out of mind, I'd be lying. Though at the same time, seeing his face opens such a can of worms of experiences from Compton that I just don't have the energy to relive right now."

"Like what?"

"Everything imaginable," I shrug. "I raced illegally, tried weed, fought, got shot at, wore skimpy clothes to clubs, had my first kiss, gave up my body, got my heart broken, pierced my stomach, got his tattoo, used a gun, nearly died... So much happened last summer because of him."

J looks away from me and twists his lips in thought before smacking them together and nodding.

"...Not gonna lie, that sounds like a lit summer."

My expression slumps when I tilt my head at him.

"Kidding! Kidding. Wait so if you're scared of going back to that lifestyle then why kiss JK when you had Keith?"

"I don't know J... I guess I couldn't turn off my feelings. I tried, but then I realized how much I'd jumped into a relationship with Kieth without fully getting over JK. I don't wanna be that dumb, selfish girl who doesn't know what she wants but ignorantly hurts people along the way... Though at the same time, I don't have all the answers. I'm really trying J. I can't describe how he makes me feel, he just has this hold over me. Even a year later."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not here to interrogate you." He pulls me into his side. I rub circles into my eyebrows and drown his chuckle with a groan of frustration.

"You know what I think? I think you should give JK another shot."

"...You do?"

"Why not? You already fucked up your relationship, no offense. There's nothing stopping you now. If Keith was where your heart lied, you wouldn't have even thought twice about the next guy. Clearly you still like JK and, I mean, you've already kissed the guy. It's unrealistic that you're gonna just forget about him now. So what if there's a chance of you two working it out? Plus, if I'm honest... Maybe Keith deserves better. Somebody who's more dedicated to him and him alone. That doesn't make you a bad person or a liar, that makes you a normal 20-year-old who's figuring things out. Trust me, I was doing way worse at 20. Anyone who expects you to be some love guru at this age is kidding themselves. You're young and single for fuck's sake."

I stare over the dark horizon with my chin in my palm. I wasn't expecting the only two men in my life to say the same thing, but maybe they have a point... Is it right to feel guilty for the way your heart feels?

"...Thanks J. I appreciate it."

"Hey, the club is always here when you need us Cuz. Just follow your heart and fuck whoever has something to say. It's your life Shego. Pretend no one's watching and do whatever makes you happy."

I continue to frown ahead before returning J a light smile.

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— COMPTON, 2 AM —

Dressed in a vest and joggers for the late hour, JK rests on his living room couch with his feet up and a blunt between his lips as he boredly looks down at the cash swiping between his fingers.

*Knock knock!*

Luckily the thud at the door doesn't awaken AK. JK looks back and sighs, tossing his money aside before strolling towards the door and unlocking the chain—

🎵 [ PLAY AUDIO HERE ] 🎵
(or search "Streets, slowed")

The second he opens it, I push the door wider and wrap my arms around his neck to pull his lips towards mine. JK overlooks my random entrance and instantly kisses back, his hands pulling my waist forward after slamming the door shut behind me.

I tilt my head to deepen our kiss between the tear streaks on my cheeks that had run my entire drive here... But there's no use dwelling now Shego. You're already here.

Our make-out only gets more heated with JK's kisses becoming naturally rough when my back meets the wall, his jaw elevating to display its sharpness while lustful smacks fill our kisses. With my body now pinned underneath his, JK's long hair mixed with the darkness of the hallway causes shadows to almost completely tint his face as he pulls back to remove my shirt.

I can feel a hard poke stabbing against my stomach, and to no surprise, we don't even make it out of the hallway before JK already unbuckles his belt with a strained groan, sagging his jeans and boxers enough to free the tent pitched between his muscular thighs.

His fingers sweep my wet folds when he pulls aside the underwear beneath my skirt, almost ripping the fabric entirely. It's at that moment that I run my nails up his neck and swallow nervously.

"Please don't ever hurt me again..."

His shadow doesn't break focus from my lips when closing in on me.

"You ain't gotta worry, She."

And from there, his kisses practically drill me against the wall as he angles his length and inserts it impatiently. I part my lips to release slow, whiny breaths with every inch of him that fills my stomach.

Before I know it, I'm throwing my head back to emit loud moans while JK thrusts into me repeatedly, his veiny hands effortlessly hooking my legs around his slim, toned waist. I bind my arms around his neck while my ass claps against his groins and back motions up and down the wall with brewing sweat.

"Ugh... Shit..."

My hands enclose on his back to draw scratches as JK impatiently picks up the pace, yet somehow steadily sucks and bites on my neck. The way he uses his strength to pin my thighs higher and ram into my widening entrance only proves how little he has to try. "Mm."

JK's lips curl against my skin before he suddenly lowers me to my feet... Only to push up my right leg until it's surpassing his shoulder. The flexible position allows him to basically hammer me against the wall with thuds banging beneath my spine.

"Uh!"

JK looks down with shallow breath from the sticky lubricant that smacks between us both. At this point, my thighs trickle with clear dew, spreading that same wetness down his most undiscovered tattoos.

The sensation of his body... The heated rush of his touch... It all feels like something from a lifetime ago but at the same time, something so familiar. The way he can make me feel like this in a matter of seconds is both incomparable and scary... Though I'd be lying if I said it didn't draw me closer.

My eyes squint, brows twitch and grasp tightens around JK's muscular bicep when a heated sensation starts to travel up my body. But before I can fully embrace it, he abruptly pulls out.

I gawk at him in confusion until my hips are suddenly twisted and I'm facing the wall with JK's hand gripping the back of my throat, the harshness of his grip forcing me to steady myself with one hand on the wall.

Now getting a full view of my entrance, JK bites his lips when inserting himself all the way back in, then out again, then slamming back in on repeat.

"Agh!" My body jolts forward continuously. I try to look back but can barely make out his silhouette through such squinted eyes. JK's hands run down my smooth waist from our mixing sweat as he admires my ass that ripples as he slams into me roughly. I have no choice but to place two hands on the wall from his strength, my now stringy hair dangling by my sides and messily swaying with every breath as we both ignore the nearby coffee table and picture frame that jolt from his fast motions.

The sounds of smacking in the hallway only become wetter and louder while JK's brows entangle, eyes focus below, and teeth clench to execute discrete growls. My already short breaths suddenly sharpen when JK sinks his fist into my hair and pulls it aside, forcing me to both raise my head and look back at him while his breath closes in on my ear.

"Nobody fucks you like me, huh She?"

"Ugh!" My moans blare loud enough for the neighbors to hear alongside the smash of the picture frame that falls off its hinges. JK watches proudly the more my mouth widens and hair sticks to my face, matched with the wet tightness that clenches around him intensely. Soon enough, the harsh pounding against my body has me throwing my head back with rolled-back eyes and trembling thighs as I come undone completely, flushing out the loudest moans I've let out in a year.

JK leans back to admire the view and releases my hair as he draws close as well. I'm already burnt out by the time he speeds up mercilessly before suddenly pulling out and letting out a groan, his heated release slipping down the valley of my arched spine like candle wax.

My hand slips down the wall out of weakness before JK wraps an arm around my chest to catch me from falling. I'm practically a panting noodle in his hold, my skin sweaty and hair a mess. JK's damp and stringy locks hang low when he looks down at me and grabs my jaw, forcing me to look all the way up and kiss him beneath his tall height.

"Mmf..." I reach my hand up and stroke my nails along his neck, though throughout our sloppy kiss... A tear makes its way down my eye.

This time, things will be different.