Silence, that was all there was for a moment. Mara couldn't tell if he was waiting for her to continue or he just doesn't care. She thought she could just come clean and that was all she could tell. She didn't want to tell him about James's feelings. She knew she hurt James, the guilt she bared was heavy, even the thought of the way he looked, she hated it, she hated that she hurt him and hated to see the way he looked. It was almost painful to think about it.

"You kept wondering about it, so" Mara shrugged and gazed toward outside. "Thought I should get that out of my chest" still, not telling about James's feelings.

Pan said nothing, she wanted to look at him but she felt too embarrassed to look. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, perhaps he could careless. "Feeling better then?" He suddenly questioned.

Did it feel better to let that out? She just shrugged in response, "Better than when I kept quiet about it I guess. I wasn't myself when I kissed, the Dreamgiver... it... messed my head"

Another silence, it was almost odd of Pan that he's kind of quiet, it almost reminded her of James after the kiss. This was different.

"Perhaps that's enough training for the night" Mara got on her feet, it wasn't raining outside anymore, she can make it to the caves on her own, she knew her way down and hopefully the slope aren't slippery. "I'm... tired. I should rest for whatever comes tomorrow"

"How was it?" Pan asked suddenly.

Mara was confused, "How was what?" She looked at him as he was still sitting on a stone. His face was unreadable.

He raised his brows "The kiss"

She felt slightly embarrassed, she couldn't answer right away, she knew the answer though, she remembered how she felt when she kissed James, how wonderful it was. "Rather strange" she replied, it was sort of a lie and she laughed a little.

To her surprise, Pan softly chuckled. "It is strange"

Mara was confused again, but almost shocked, she showed less of shock expression.

Pan chuckled again, "You don't think I ever tried that before in my centuries of life?"

There was another strange feeling in her, that little pang in her chest, what was that feeling? She thought of Tiger Lily again, and Pan once hinted that there were girls in Neverland before, they came and go. He said they weren't like her. But again, there's the thought Tiger Lily. She and Pan were close once, perhaps close like Mara and James were, there was no doubt the Native girl and Pan were once involved with each other. Mara never thought of him that way once.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess not"

Instead of going back to the caves on her own, Pan insisted of taking her there, safely and quicker than going on foot. When they appeared just outside of the caves, they found the boys asleep. Mara and Pan said their good nights before parting ways. She went to the caves while Pan disappeared.

She slept right away just moments after closing her eyes. She had a dream. In the dream, she was back at the shores of Moonsea with Pan, she was holding both of his hands with her own while they were staring at each other, not for a long time, she had stepped closer to him until there wasn't any space between them. She had her arms around his neck and held him and he held her too. They held each other for a long time. It was very soothing, safe and complete for Mara.

But then she woke up, woke up by a kick on her boot. "Arsling!" Curly uttered, "Wake up, time for breakfast"

Mara didn't want to wake up, she wanted to go back to sleep and go back into that dream. She suddenly hated Curly for waking her. She barely got up as Tootles brought a plate to her.

"Where'd you go yesterday?" Tootles sat down beside her.

Mara was too tired to answer quickly, she yawned then rubbed her eyes. "The cave, the other cave from up there, you know? It rained so I was stuck there"

"So you were alone?"

She nodded as she began eating her breakfast.

"Or were you with Pan?" Tootles's voice was low. "I was able to hear you and him outside, I couldn't sleep"

She never answered his question.

The weather was calm and grey, no one was sure if it was going to rain today, outside was still wet from all the rain yesterday.

When Pan arrived, he said it was training today and they all followed him to the training grounds. Mara preyed rain won't come during training. On the way to the training grounds, the Lost Boys sang as usual and sometime while they were singing, Mara also started singing but quietly. She got used to it, the songs except for the one that Curly came up about a Lost Girl.

The training began right away when they reached the grounds. It was the usual, the routine was the same, Mara and her tentmates began with wooden spears. She trained with Curly and Tootles most of the time. James had been avoiding her eye contact and kept his distance from her, far from her as possible as he was training with Slightly throughout the shift.

When they were shooting arrows with bows, Mara did well shooting the targets, but never once hit a dot on the target and she made a few misses on the target. When they were throwing knives and tomahawks, it was the only shift where she didn't do so well, she'd keep missing the trees and the tips of the weapons wouldn't hit the stump. It was Curly's thing, he was good at throwing knives and tomahawks and he'd never miss any trees and targets.

When they were fighting with swords, it was where Mara was good at, she beats Tootles, Slightly and barely Curly. But she never fought James, he'd train with Curly, Tootles and Slightly, but not with her.

The training went on for hours, it was already mid-noon when Pan called it off and they were done for the day. Except Mara wasn't done and so was Thomas because like every after training, she'd have to fight him in the pit. She only rested for few moments and little time to replenish when Pan called out for Mara and Thomas to come forward.

Confident was all she felt, she picked out her own staff. The cheering began when Mara and Thomas stepped into the ring, she heard her name in a howl from Curly, Tootles, even from few others and most betted on Thomas.

When the fight began, both Mara and Thomas charged at each other, only their staffs clashed on each other, and they tried to push forward toward the other. She put her entire weight on it until Thomas over aside instantly and she stumbled forward, only her hand was on the ground but she turned back on her opponent.

Thomas charged at her as she stayed on her tracks, their staffs clashed together again, he swung the bottom of his staff toward her leg but shield herself with her bottom staff. Left, right, up, right, down, up, left, their wooden staffs smacked each other, top and bottom, repeated while Mara and Thomas moved around in the circle, going in circles, round and round, pushing each other, shoving each other.

The fight went on and on, the Lost Boys around the two were loud. Thomas barely got Mara on the ground but she'd instantly get back on her feet. When he had her on her back, with his staff on her neck, dragged her back as if he was trying to get her on the ground, but Mara was barely strong enough to keep the staff from her neck until she had her head down then bump her head back quick and hard as she could. That instant thud in her head when she hit his forehead, dropping his staff as he stumbled backward. She turned to Thomas, it was the chance she had, she took it and without even thinking while his hand was on his head where she had hit him. She punched him, first for once until he didn't fall and she punched him again and this time, hard as she could.

He fell this time and fell off the pit. He laid there for a moment while holding his face where she hit him.

Then there was silence.

Mara panted, she had her hands on her knees, bend down while catching her breath. She didn't even think that she had finally defeated Thomas because of how tired she was. She didn't realize what she had done until Curly shouted "You did it, arseling!" He went up to her, throwing his arms around her, "You finally bloody did it!" She was picked off the ground and he whirled her around while half of the Lost Boys cheered for her.

All she could feel was relief and think, finally.

***

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Expect another update sooner, maybe tomorrow? 😉 hopefully...

Stay weird.