CHAPTER 6

Matilda wiped underneath her eyes, using her hands to flatten down her hair as she approached the Garrison. Everything is fine.

She entered the pub and scanned the room for the faces she longed to see.

Isiah stood from his seat, his arms open, "Tilly," he shouted. She cringed as he hugged her. "Whats up with you?" He chuckled, pulling a chair out for her.

Tilly sniffed, shaking her head.

"Tired, thats all."

Finn squinted, unsure if he should believe her or not. "Get me a drink, please Isiah," She said, running a hand through her hair.

Isiah grunted as he stood, opening the snug doors, cheering when he saw two other peaky boys: Henry and Cameron. "Go on, sit down." Isiah said to them, gently brushing past the two boys to get drinks.

"Well, if it isnt Matilda Willows," Cameron tilted his head, taking a seat beside Finn. She let out a breath, "Cameron." Tilly greeted, folding her arms.

"Surprised you're still hangin about with these two," Henry chimed in, sitting beside her. She scoffed, "Sometimes i think the same thing."

Finn's mouth fell open, "wow, Til, that hurt." He tormented, grinning.

"Give over, Finn you virgin." Cameron defended. Finn lifted his head at the insult, causing both Cameron and Henry to point and laugh at him.

Finn sucked in his bottom lip, feeling embarrassed. Matilda looked at him with a sympathetic look on her face. She felt bad that they'd began teasing him on such a thing. Yes, Finn was still a virgin, but that was not a bad thing, really.

Finn played with his hands, his face red.

"Finn isnt a virgin," Matilda lied, catching their attention The two boys looked at each other, a shocked look on their faces.

Cameron lifted a finger, pointing at Tilly then at Finn. "You..and Finn have..fucked?"

She cocked up one of her eyebrows but said nothing. She didnt confirm nor deny the accusation. 

Henry grabbed Finn's shoulder, shaking it. "You've fucked Matilda Willows?" He whispered, "that's even better than fucking Victoria Riley."

Finn stared at her, unsure of what to say. His eyes were filled with many emotions. Confusion, desire and embarrassment. The fact Finn had feelings for the girl and she'd basically told his friends that they'd shagged, made him..scared that she knew what he felt.

"What're we talking about?" Isiah asked, placing a glass of gin in front of Tilly. She cleared her throat, sitting straight, "Just about how Victoria Riley has the clap."

Cameron realised that what had just been spoken about, Isiah wasn't to know.

"She has the clap?" Isiah asked.

"Probably," Matilda snorted, sipping her drink.

"Well," Cameron grinned, "our Henry got a girl knocked up, didnt ya." He revealed, his Birmingham accent thick.

Henry's hand connected with Cameron's chest. "Cam, mate, what the fuck."

Cameron held his hands up in defense.

"Was it a whore.." Finn asked.

Henry shook his head, ashamed. "It was Billy Woods' cousin."

Matilda almost spat out her drink, her eyes wide. Amy Green, Billy's cousin, a girl that Tilly was very fond of. One of the nicest girls she knew.

"Speaking of Billy, aint you his bird?"

"Cam, I am not a bird, but if girlfriend was what you meant, yes, im his girlfriend." She said, the events that had taken place earlier that night replaying in her head.

"Hows that going?"

"Awful," She said in a tone which would make it seem like she was joking.

"I can imagine.." Finn whispered. Matilda looked over to him. "What was that?" She asked, not hearing what he said. "I didnt say anything." He shook his head.

Soon enough, they'd started doing cocaine. Something that Matilda hated the most, considering it was the thing that created the monster inside of her mother.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," she said to Finn who she was now sat beside.

He sat back, looking her in the eyes. "I can stop," he offered, wiping the line he'd just placed onto the wood, onto the floor. She raised an eyebrow, smiling.

The smile soon faded when Billy forcefully entered the room.

She practically froze in her seat as he sat opposite her, no emotion at all in his face. "You doing cocaine as well then?" He asked her.

Tilly shook her head quickly, clenching her hands into fists under the table.

"Give me some," he said, taking the vile from Isiah and pouring some onto the back of his hand, snorting it and throwing his head back.

"You know I hate it when you do that stuff." She said plainly. Billy shrugged, "okay?" he laughed.

Tilly bit her lip, slightly more afraid of him now he was getting high off snow. She ran her fingers over the small cuts on her bare legs from the glass that she'd smashed in Billy's house. Finn noticed her sudden mood change and tapped her arm.

"I'm fine." She said before he could ask. Finn shook his head, "you're not." He said quietly as the other boys spoke. "Yes. I am." Tilly avoided his gaze.

She quickly pulled her dress back over her leg, hoping he hadn't seen.

"I need a minute," she said, quickly leaving the room before anyone could say anything.

"She's such a miserable bastard, ain't she." Billy insulted, waiting for someone to agree.

But nobody did. Cameron looked at Billy with a disgusted look on his face. Isiah's fist rested against his own cheek and he stared at Billy. Finn scowled at him. Henry just sat, too high to know what was going on.

"No, not really," Isiah spoke, not taking his eyes away from the dark haired boy.

"Yeah well of course you'd know, you've fucked her," Billy scoffed. Finn and Isiah looked at each other. "Billy, what the fuck are ya on about?"

"You've shagged my girlfriend. She wouldn't come near me today so i'm guessing that's cause one of use have shagged her instead."

The four boys looked at each other.

"Maybe she wouldn't go near you cause you've probably got the clap," Finn defended. "After all, you've been going around with Victoria."

Isiah snorted, covering his mouth.

"How the fuck do you know about that?" He hissed. "Billy, you sit there, fucking the girl with your eyes every time we're out. And let's not forget the comments you make when Matilda is sat right fucking beside you." Finn grew slightly annoyed.

Billy scoffed, chugging his drink. "You'll not speak a word of this to Tilly."

"Or what?" Isiah asked.

Billy looked at him.

"Or what, Billy? Matilda deserves to know what you're doing. Fuck, she probably already does!"

"You don't know what you're on about," he said.

All four of them watched as Billy left the snug, slamming the door and going off to find Tilly. She sat on a bar stood, hunched over the counter, holding her head.

"Oi," he called her. "Come on, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Home."

She shook her head, "i'm staying at Polly's tonight." She said calmly, trying not to anger him.

"No you're not, just come with me," he placed a hand on her upper arm, pulling her slightly. "Billy, let go, i'm going back with Finn tonight."

"Yeah course you are, fucking whore."

Her eyes glossed over slightly. "Take that back."

"Matilda, I won't tell you again, let's go."

Both Finn and Cameron had decided to go out and see if Matilda was still there, ask her if she was okay.

"You okay?" Cameron asked from behind Billy.

"She's fine, we were just leaving."

"I thought you were coming back with me tonight?" Finn reminded her, placing his empty glass on the bar. Billy looked at Matilda with cold eyes.

She'd frozen again. She didn't want to go with Billy. After what had happened earlier that night, she was afraid of what he'd do to her.

"Matilda?" Cameron asked, making her focus. "Are you going with Billy or staying here with us for a bit?"

She swallowed hard, ripping her arm away from him. "Finn. I'm staying with Finn." She said bluntly, tears threatening to drop from her eyes.

Billy lowered his hand, gritting his teeth. "Fine." He sniffed, turning away to the door.

"What was that about?" Cameron asked, his eyes following Billy.

"He's angry at me for..something. We argued earlier and I suppose he isn't over it." She shrugged.

Finn licked his bottom lip, knowing
more had happened, especially with what Billy had said in the snug about her 'refusing to fuck him'

"We can er..we can go if you'd like." He said nervously. She stepped off the stool, "yeah, please.."

He nodded and retrieved his coat and cap from the snug, saying his goodbyes and draping his coat over Matilda's shoulders as she walked in front of him.

She jumped slightly but laughed it off, hugging the fabric to her body. "You enjoyed your birthday then?" he asked. She thought for a moment, shrugging, "It was okay."

"Hopefully I can cheer you up?" He suggested, smiling when she wrapped her arm around his.

"You can try," she looked up at him.

The pair walked in a comfortable silence until they got to the house on Watery Lane. When Finn went out with his Aunt Polly to find a present for Matilda, something caught his eye. A necklace, very similar to one her father had gotten her before the war which she'd broken a few months ago.

Matilda sat on the couch in front of the fire as Finn dig through the drawers, soon pulling out a small black box. "What is it?"

"Open it and you'll find out," he said in an obvious tone, sitting beside her.

Tilly carefully lifted the lid off, revealing a silver necklace with a locket that hung on the chain, a small floral engraving on the front. Then she realised it was almost identical to the necklace her father had gifted her, the last thing she had of him, which she broke by accident.

Her breath hitched and she ran a finger over the engraving, a wide grin on her face. Seconds later, she practically threw herself into Finn's arms, leaning her head against his chest.

He was surprised at the sudden interaction but eventually placed his arms around her, leaning into her touch.

"Thank you, Finn, really. I love it." She mumbled, enjoying the warmth that his body provided.

"I remembered how upset you were when you broke the other one. I know it's not the same, but I suppose it's similar enough."

"No, thank you. It's really nice." She finally pulled back, lifting it from the box and handing it to him.

Tilly turned away and moved her hair over her shoulder, allowing him to place it around her neck. His fingers grazed her skin slightly as he did so, sending shivers up her spine.

He thought for a moment.

"Til," he began. She hummed in response. "Earlier, when Cam and Henry took the mick out of me for being a virgin, why did you make them believe we had..had sex?"

His question made her think.

"I'm not sure. I just don't like it when people embarrass you." She admitted. "It annoys me that you always have someone on your back about something. And after all, being a virgin isn't a bad thing, they just make it seem like it is."

His eyes searched her face.

"Well, thank you, i suppose." He nodded, their hands inches away from each other.

"It's no problem, you'd have done the same for me." She said, looking into his eyes.

The same feeling that washed over them the week before, appeared again except this time it was Matilda who's pinky finger touched Finn's. Finn's mouth went dry as he balled his own hand into a fist to avoid placing it on her knee.

Finn's heart pounded against his chest as she leaned slightly closer, her eyes glistening in the fire light.

This time she didn't pull back, she let him gently place his lips on her. Matilda's eyes fluttered closed as she put her hand on his shoulder.

She didn't feel guilty.

Finn carefully placed a hand on the back of her neck, leaning further into her. It was a soft and gentle kiss instead of a rough and lust filled one.

After a few moments, he pulled away, still remaining close to her face. She bit back her smile as he leaned his forehead on hers.

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't of-"

She took his hands in hers, cutting him off. "It's okay."

"What about Billy."

"Well, Billy has Victoria, does he not?" She said quietly, the pad of her thumb rubbing the skin on his hands.

Tilly didn't feel guilty or ashamed. She felt as though she'd finally accomplished something that she'd been trying to get all her life. Which was strange because never once had she imagined kissing Finn Shelby. But it gave her a sense of comfort once she had. Gave her reassurance in some way.

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