CHAPTER 28

Tilly rushed around her house in a panic, muttering to herself as her hands began to sweat. Ada watched from the drawing room, slight concern washing over her.

"The wine..where's the wine," she whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose and rushing back to the kitchen.

Ada glanced over at the small table where Matilda's prescribed pills sat. She sighed and walked over, picking them up and going to find Tilly.

As Tilly exited the kitchen, she almost bumped into Ada. "Ada, sorry." She apologised quickly, attempting to walk around the brunette girl. Ads gently grabbed her shoulder. "You need to relax, and you need to take your medication."

"They do nothing," Tilly shook her head.

"If they did nothing, the doctor wouldn't have given you them. Tilly, you have issues, you need these pills. You and I both know what can happen if you don't take them."

Tilly frowned. "Wow, thanks Ada."

"Come on, you know I didn't mean it like that. I just want you to be okay for tonight. Please just take your medication." Ada pleaded, shoving the small bottle into her hands. Tilly bit her bottom lip and groaned, forcing Ada to take the bottle of wine.

"You'll thank me later," Ada called out as she stormed back into the kitchen.

Matilda didn't like taking her medication. Because they made her feel light..as if she wasn't completely there. Although that's what they were for, they were to ensure she wouldn't end up in a hole of darkness, she hated the feeling of being vulnerable.

That was exactly why she hadn't taken the medication even after Ada told her to. She simply just placed them in the cupboard, knowing that if she needed them, she had another bottle in her bedroom.

She knew she needed them pills. That was half the reason she didn't take them.

Ever since her mother died, Tilly found herself being self-destructive without even realising. For example, purposefully sleep deprived herself or not taking the medication. Some days she'd force herself to create art pieces despite the fact she'd been awake for over 24 hours.

It was something Tilly could not help. Especially with the added stress of the rich men who would constantly chase her up on orders.

She'd never give herself a minute. Always working for somebody else's benefit. Never her own.

But fortunately, David helped her will all of that.

"Mr Franklin," Tilly nodded to the man who walked into her fairly large home alongside his wife. "Miss Willows, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm a big fan of you're work," the older woman greeted with a smile.

"Thank you, Mrs Franklin."

The room soon filled with many more people. Her head pounding as the jazz music boomed throughout the house.

Ada was a great help during the night, she was an amazing entertainer in conversation.

What Tilly didn't know was that Ada had decided to invite her brothers to the gathering without asking her first. And of course, it completely took Matilda by surprise when John, Arthur and Finn entered her home as if they were some high school clique.

Her eyes widened. "What the fuck.." she whispered, turning away before they could see her.

"Ay, there she is, our beautiful Matilda!" Arthur shouted loudly, raising his arms into the air. She squeezed her eyes closed and let out a breath before turning to face them. "Arthur," Tilly smiled, accepting his embrace.

Johns eyes diverted to the young girls that walked from one room to another. Finn hit his arm and told him not to be fucking anyone in Tilly's home.

"What're you doing here?" Tilly asked, trying her very hardest to sound happy at their appearance. Arthur looked at his brothers. "Well, Ada invited us. Did you not know."

Tilly licked her bottom lip. "No, i did not. Ada." She snapped, grabbing Ada's arm as she passed and pulling her into the next room. "You invited them, and didn't tell me? Ada, i was not prepared to deal with your brothers tonight," she whisper-shouted.

Ada snickered. "Sorry but it's not a party without the Shelby's."

"You're right, it's not a party without the Shelby's. Because when the Shelby's are here, it's a fucking abomination!" Tilly insulted.

"Rude."

"I'm serious, Ada, you should've told me. This is a respectable event, with respectable people. I cannot have them causing issues."

"Then i'll talk to them, calm down." Ada rolled her eyes, departing from her and approaching her brothers once more.

Tilly wasn't sure what had gotten her so anxious about the Shelby brothers appearance. Usually she'd be excited to see them, she'd tell John every single boring detail of what had happened in her life. But this time things were different. She didn't want to talk to John about her life, she didn't want to drink with Arthur, she didn't want to sit with Finn on a couch and laugh as people got too drunk. She wanted to have a night to enjoy her accomplishments without having to worry about them causing problems.

She'd majorly regretted throwing the party.

"Ay, Til." Finn said, catching her attention. "I'm not a dog," she hissed, catching him by surprise. "I didn't..think you were?" He tilted his head. She said nothing. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you something."

"Hurry up, i'm not in the mood. Just get to the point."

He sighed, "It's nothing bad, Tommy told me to ask you if you'll be attending his Charity Dinner in a few weeks?"

"And why did you have to ask me that?" She gritted through her teeth. Finn bit his tongue. "Because Tommy fucking asked me too." He hissed.

"Is that all?"

Finn shrugged, confused at her quick responses. She was acting strange. Her tone was different, her voice was higher. He'd noticed how she couldn't keep her eyes on one thing or pay attention. Her eyes were darting across the room and her eyes were tired.

"Are you okay?" He asked, catching her attention again. She hummed, nodding. "Perfect."

Finn bit the inside of his cheek, thinking of something else to say. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" she snapped again. "Now go away." He raised his eyebrows, scoffing. "Fine then." He shrugged and walked off to find John.

Tilly didn't mean to act the way she had, she didn't mean to snap at him. But she was now realising that she should've taken her medication when Ada told her too because her head was spinning and her stomach was hurting. Her palms were sweaty and the lights were paining her eyes.

She stood completely frozen beside the table as people walked around the room, admiring her paintings.

"Excuse me," A woman said. Tilly turned her head toward her. "I was wondering if you'd still be able to paint that portrait i was asking about?" She suggested.

"Er..yeah, go talk to my accountant Mrs Lee, she knows my schedule." Tilly pointed toward the middle aged woman who stood talking with Arthur.

-

Hours had passed and Tilly was practically delirious. Her head was spinning as she dragged herself into the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards. As she grabbed the bottle of medication, a glass fell to the floor, shattering beside her feet.

"Shit," she muttered, leaning down and using her hands to try pick it up. A small shard of glass pressed into her hand and she hissed, pulling her hand back.

Tilly quickly examined her finger, pressing down on the small cut that had appeared there.

Eventually, she was able to take the pill, swallowing it with water. She leaned her hands on the metal table and closed her eyes. "They're just people, they're like you. Nobody here is going to hurt you," she assured herself, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"What're you doing in ere?" Finn appeared. "Why're you everywhere, Finn?" She asked, sniffing and wiping under her eyes.

"I was actually looking for your lavatory, but your house is quite confusing."

"It's up the hall, last room on the left," Tilly said, wanting him to leave. He lingered at the door, remaining still. "Did you hear me?"

"You're not okay, what's up with you tonight?"

"I didn't take my tablets, that's all."

"Tilly," he began, "you know you need to take them. Why aren't you-" he scolded her as if he were her father.

"Because I don't like feeling nothing! As much as I hate feeling the way I do, it makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel like a childlike when i'm on that shit."

"No, Tilly, it makes you happy. Do you remember what if feels like to be happy?" he asked.

"Fuck you."

"Tilly, please just keep taking them. I don't want you to end up how you did when your father died, it terrified me to see you like that. That is why you're on them tablets, no?"

"Yes." She said quietly, "but i was fourteen when he died."

"It makes no difference. Its depression, Tilly. And if you don't take them, god forbid you might end up killing yourself, that's what depression does. It kills people, look at what it did to your mum."

"I'm not depressed," she shook her head, getting slightly overwhelmed.

"Yes. Yes you are. I've seen it so many times. I've seen it in Arthur, i've seen it in your mum. Fuck i saw it in my own mum and i was only seven, then she threw herself in the canal. Tilly, i can fucking see it in you." He argued, reaching for her hand.

She ripped her hand away. "I'm not depressed." Tilly repeated.

"It's okay! Just admit it, you know it's true and it's okay. We're here to help, I'm here to help you. Just please take the pills, they're what will help you most. They'll keep you alive and I need you alive."

"Don't pity me, Finn!"

"I'm not pitying you, i'm telling you the truth. We need you. We need you to help us. But you can't help us if you're dead, can you?"

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