CHAPTER 17

"You bloody idiot!" Polly scolded, slapping Finn round the back of the head. He hissed and frowned. "Aunt Pol!" he shouted.

"The funeral is in no less than an hour and you're already pissing about!"

"What've I done?" Finn waved his arms around, genuinely confused. "Finn, you're wearing your under shirt and suit pants, come on." Polly shook her head. "You know what, i'll leave you for Tommy to deal with!" She said before walking out and slamming the door.

John whistled from the corner, grinning. "You're in trouble," he teased, putting the empty bowl in the sink.

"Shut up John." Finn spat, taking his ironed dress shirt from the table and pulling it over his shoulders. "John go away!" Finn begged, getting frustrated as he fiddled with the buttons.

The door opened and both their heads turned. "Ya girlfriends here," John stated, leaving them.

Tilly frowned, the tip of her nose red and her hands cold. "What on earth are you doing?" She asked, referring to the fact he'd completely messed up the buttons on his shirt, the buttons in the wrong loops.

She took a few steps forward, undoing the mess he'd made and began helping.

He let out a sigh of embarrassment and frustration, throwing his head back. "What's gotten you so stressed?" She asked, re-doing the buttons.

"It's fine, this isn't about me today."

"No, Finn. You're allowed to be frustrated, just because my mums dead doesn't mean you have to hide it from me,"

He relaxed for a split second as her fingertips touched the fabric of his undershirt.

"Everyone's fucking pecking at my head, Polly giving me shit and John down my ear about random things-"

Tilly listened closely as she redone the last few buttons. "All done," she spoke, patting his chest and reaching up to fix a piece of his hair that had fell out of place.

"How are you so calm, Tilly?" He breathed, picking up his black coat.

"Because i've been through this before, Finn."

"Ah." He remembered, biting his bottom lip, feeling awkward.

"Right, come on." Tommy burst in, walking through the room and to the front door. "I said come on," he repeated, staring at the two.

Tilly rolled her eyes and left the house, standing patiently under Finn's arm as many people from both Watery Lane and Garrison Lane had gathered to watch the car that pulled Janice's body down the cobble.

Matilda played with the hem of her jumper as the black horses pulled the car along. Finn's hand gently rubbed the side of her arm in a comforting way.

She glanced over at Billy and Harry Woods who stood outside their house with their mother, a sorrow look on Harry and his mothers face. A not so sorrow look on Billy's face.

After the car had passed, majority of the people who had gathered, followed it over to the field across from the canal.

Arthur stood, his lip quivering as people lifted the casket from the car and into the pre-dug hole in the grass.

He cleared his throat. "I..er..wanted to say a few words." He sniffed. "And i know it isn't my place..because i wasn't family. But Janice held a special place in my heart..she holds a special place in my heart. When I had no one to turn to.." his voice broke, "there she was."

There was a silence.

"I suppose what i'm trying to say is that deep down, she was a good woman."

Tilly scoffed, staring at her feet.

"All right, brother." Tommy said, placing a hand on Arthur's back and walking him off to the side.

"You going to say anything?" John asked. She shook her head. "No cause all i have to say was that she was a drug addict who never wished to watch her child grow up,"

John nodded, "okay then." He sighed.

Once Matilda's mother was buried, the majority of the Shelby family didn't stick around. Well, Finn, Tilly, Tommy and John didn't stick around. Polly and Arthur stayed.

"Get this fucking coat off me," Tilly scoffed, walking into her room. Finn sat down on her bed, leaning back.

"Fucking disgusting," she said, throwing the coat onto the floor and taking a different dress that had been hanging on the wardrobe door.

Without a second thought, she tugged at the buttons on the back of her dress, getting overwhelmed when she couldn't get the dress off. She was visibly stressed out and Finn had noticed.

He quickly stood up and grabbed her hands, lowering them. She took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

Finn turned her around and carefully unbuttoned the back of her dress, allowing her to slip out of it. Usually he'd let his eyes wander, but he felt wrong considering the fact she'd just buried her mother.

Despite Finn not wanting to take advantage of whatever feelings she was going through, Tilly had leaned up, kissing him quickly. His eyes widened but he quickly closed them, his hands making their way down to her sides.

Finn was completely taken by surprise.

Tilly leaned forward, almost knocking the Shelby boy over. He laughed into the kiss, holding her arms to steady them both.

"Til, everyone's waiting for us at the Garrison," he said in between breaths. She shook her head. "They can wait."

-

Tilly and Finn strolled into the Garrison, Tilly now wearing a blue dress instead of the black one she wore earlier that day.

John and Isiah looked at them as they walked into the pub, looking back at each other and smirking. "Someone has a good time," Isiah whispered to John, earning a laugh from the Shelby boy.

"Matilda, what d'ya want, love? Whiskey?" Arthur shouted from behind the bar.

Tilly nodded, taking a seat opposite Isiah in a booth.

"He seems to have cheered up," Finn noticed, nodding toward Arthur.

"Yeah, Isiah gave him some snow, didn't ya," John nudged him. Matilda scowled, folding her arms and leaning into her chair.

"Yeah," Isiah grinned, pulling a bottle out of his pocket and placing it on the table. "Go on Finn, av some." He urged.

Matilda tilted her head, waiting to see what he'd do. Finn thought hard, staring at the blue bottle. Tilly scoffed and stood, "i'm getting a drink." She excused herself, not wanting to know if he was going to do the cocaine or not.

"Ya all right?" Arthur questioned, pouring her a glass of whiskey. She shrugged and slid the glass toward her, chugging the whole of the contents and wincing as the amber liquid burnt her throat.

"Listen, Matilda, am sorry for the other night, i should've never flipped at you the way I did." Arthur took a deep breath.

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

Arthur tilted his head down, filling her glass back up with whiskey. "I want you to know that if ya ever need anything, am here for you. You've lost both your mum and dad an i understand how that feels."

She nodded and looked over her shoulder at Finn, only able to see his back.

Hours had passed and the atmosphere in the Garrison had became more lively as people drank more. Matilda had kept her distance from Finn and he hadn't even tried to approach her.

She sat by herself, swirling her whiskey around in the small glass, tiredness washing over her.

Tilly sighed, walking toward the doors and taking a step outside, the cold air stinging her face. She stood in the dark,  taking a cigarette and lighting it.

Finn had noticed her absence and automatically went outside, knowing that was where she'd went.

"Why're you out here?" he asked, his hands in his pockets. She shrugged. "Don't want to be inside." she said plainly, looking at him.

He avoided her eyes but struggled when she gripped his chin with her hand tightly, forcing his face toward hers. She stared into his eyes, squinting.

"Really, Finn?" She asked, disappointed at the size of his pupils. He'd done the cocaine.

He looked away, disappointed.

"Why? You know i hate that stuff!" Matilda raised her voice, shoving his face away.

"I'm sorry-" He said quietly, ashamed. "But, i wanted to av fun,"

"And you need cocaine to do that, hm? You're surrounded by your family and me, why do you need drugs to have fun. You know exactly how i feel about it. Yet you still do it."

"Tilly, listen, that was one time. I've not done it in months."

"Exactly, you've not done it in months. So now you've done it again, you'll probably do it again next week, then..then every day. That's how drugs fucking work, Finn."

He didn't know what to say.

"So fine, you can do cocaine. But I refuse to allow you to touch me if you've touched cocaine. I want a day either side of you doing cocaine before you hold me, before you touch me. If you do cocaine on a Tuesday, I refuse to be around you until the fucking Thursday."

He watched as she turned on her heels, walking into the dark.

She turned for a moment. "So Finn, today is Sunday, you're not seeing me until Tuesday." She taunted.

"Tilly!" He called out. "Matilda!" He shouted.

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