ZACH AND I NEVER REALLY BECAME A 'THING'. He didn't talk to me much outside of when we were at parties together. It was weird, he would ignore me at school, but be all over me when we were out.

    I started getting annoyed with him because I didn't want to be with him if he only liked me when he was drunk. Plus, he started pulling me away from my friends who all have told me they don't like him.

    It wasn't until I saw him making out with another girl at a party that I really decided he wasn't worth it. But I think that that event pushed me deeper into the hole I dug myself into.

    I drifted away from my friends, I stopped putting in effort at school, and I was in a constant state of drunk, high, or hungover. It's not the proudest moment of my life, but I was already so far into my hole that I didn't think I could ever climb out.

    Gwen and I got into a big fight over my habits. She told me that she hated seeing me like this and that I needed to get help. I told her that I didn't want to and she told me that she felt sorry for me, and that's the last I heard from her. It's been a week.

    It's not that I didn't want to change, I knew what I was doing was wrong, I just didn't have the willpower to quit. I was ashamed of what I had become and I was scared to admit it.

    One morning I woke up and I decided that there was absolutely no chance I was going to school today. I went back to sleep and then went about my day laying around in my apartment alone, not a care in the world. Especially no cares about the growing pile of missing assignments.

.•¤۞¤•.

A LITTLE BEFORE NOON, a knock sounded from the door. I got up slightly startled, wondering who would be here at this time. I opened the door to reveal Peter Parker.

    "Why aren't you at school?" I asked him with a flat tone to my voice. I hadn't talked to him since our encounter at Zach's party about a month ago. He started pushing me away and I was a little annoyed he showed up after ignoring me for so long. It was awkward for him to be here, I was in an oversized red hoodie with no makeup on. I really didn't know how to react.

Peter took a deep breath in, almost as if he was preparing himself for whatever he was here for.

    "I could ask you the same thing." He muttered, mirroring my tone and expression and pushed right past me into my apartment.

    "Oh yeah, make yourself at home. Just barge right into my apartment without saying anything. What happened to hello?-"

    "Emmie, we need to talk." Peter said solemnly.

    I stayed quiet as I waited for him to elaborate. As much as I was acting like I didn't want him to be here, I was dying to talk to him. The reason we stopped hanging out was partly my fault and I felt bad. He was the closest thing I had to someone who understood me completely.

    "You've been acting differently lately. It's like you've given up."

    "I haven't-"

    "You skip school so frequently now and you look sick, Emmie. I'm worried about you."

    "I'm fine." I defended, crossing my arms over my chest. "And you're a fine one to talk. You completely ghosted me and now you just show up saying your worried about me?"

    "You're not fine." Peter shook his head, ignoring my last statement. "You're clearly not fine, and you don't have to keep pretending like you are."

    His words cut deeper than I wanted them to. He could see that I was struggling, no matter how much I didn't want him to see that.

    "I'm okay, I just-" I shrugged looking at my feet. "I've made new friends, I'm happier now."

    "You are?" Peter questioned, compelling me to lock my eyes on his. "Cause you can't even look me in the eye when you say that."

    "Peter.."

    "Everyone else might be buying that, but I don't. Please tell me the truth, Emmie."

    "I'm fine, Peter. And I sure as hell don't need you here, checking up on me after you ghosted me for weeks." My words came out a little harsher than I meant them to.

    "I'm trying to be a good friend here, Emmie." Peter matched my tone. "You wouldn't understand that, because you've pushed everyone who cares about you away."

    I turned on my heels to step closer to him, although he was taller than me he did not scare me. "Friends? Is that what you call someone who ignores the other person for weeks?" Peter looked slightly hurt and regretful. "You do not get to come over here unannounced and tell me how shitty you think I am!"

    "You keep acting like if you let down your guard, the world will end." Peter said harshly, before he calmed his voice, suddenly remembering why he came here. "I can promise you, it won't."

    "Oh yeah? Well it's already fucking ended! And I'm exhausted!" I yelled at him before I made my way to sit on the couch, hoping he would take the memo that I'm done with this conversation.

    "I'm not leaving you, Emmie." He said from behind me, somehow reading my mind. "As much as you want to push me away, I know you can't stand to be alone."

    I inhaled sharply. It was like each word was sending daggers straight through my heart. I didn't want Peter to leave. I wanted to tell him everything and I wished he would make it better, but I know I couldn't.

    "I'm tired of everything." I spoke slowly, trying to put my thoughts into words. Despite everything my brain was screaming at me, I kept going because although Peter was annoying me, he deserved an explanation. "I'm tired of feeling, because all I feel is empty and guilty."

    Peter sat silently beside me on the couch but I didn't look at him, I kept my gaze transfixed on the wall across from me.

    "My sister died, and I miss her terribly. And most nights I have nightmares about what happened on Titan..."

    "I do too." He spoke from beside me. I turned to look at him for the first time, and for the first time I saw the worry and concern laced in his features. I don't understand why he cared this much, and honestly it kind of scared me.

    "I don't know how you deal with it." I looked away and tried to smile, mostly because I was so uncomfortable. And even though I hated it, it was a little bit easier to be vulnerable around Peter. "Because I sure am doing it wrong."

    "We all cope in different ways." He shrugged. "Some are healthier than others."

    I didn't respond, but instead I brought my knees into my chest and rested my head on them. We sat in a understanding silence for a few minutes.

"Why did you go from being my friend to ignoring me?" I finally asked the question that had been burned into my mind the past month.

"Well, after seeing you with Zach, I didn't want to overstep.." Peter spoke slowly.

"Zach and I are nothing. We were nothing." I stated bluntly before mumbling the last part. "At least not until he made out with some blonde right in front of me."

"I'm sorry." Peter said apologetically, but I still kept my gaze fixed on the wall across from me.

Peter's explanation made sense, and I do remember seeing the tension between Zach and Peter so I understand why he backed away. I just don't understand why he didn't explain himself sooner.

    "I wish I could make it all better for you, Emmie." He said after a few moments, causing me to look over at him. "I just want you to know that you're not alone."

    I looked at him for a few moments, processing what he said.

    "I wish I could be better." I mumbled into my knees.

    "Who you are is not what you did. You're still the same Emmie that lights up any room she walks into. Who makes anyone feel seen and heard and who has the best jokes even though I would never admit that to you."

    I looked at him trying to fight the smile that was forming on my face.

    "Besides, it's never too late to be brand new." He smiled back at me.

    "Peter, I'll be honest with you." I sat up straighter, uncurling myself from my ball, now looking him in the eyes. "It's not gonna be easy to suddenly dig myself out of my hole."

    "I know. But that's why I'm gonna be here to help you every step of the way."

    "You mean that?" I furrow my brows at him.

    "Every word." He gently grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. The action simultaneously made butterflies erupt in my stomach and calm me down. "I believe in you."

    "Mind over matter, Emmie."

    We sat on my couch like that for a little longer. Smiles and jokes were exchanged and I began to feel lighter. The weight that had been crushing my chest for months was finally being lifted. I hadn't felt that hopeful in I don't even know how long.

    My world crashed all around me, but Peter was there to help me pick up the pieces. In the midst of chaos and shattering glass that reminded me of my dad's death, the battle on Titan, and my sister's death, there was a calming sense that helped me realize:

I'm gonna be okay.