𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐤𝐞

God made Eve from the rib of Adam, and Eve was weak. She loosed the raven on the world. The raven was called sin. God visited Eve with the curse, and that curse was the Curse of Blood.

The discovery of what had been ailing my feelings drop kicked me this morning. The raven plagued my world. Lust was how the sin began, that sin was man... Carrie, 1976.

Like a deep, never ending throb, the strikes in my abdomen don't cease. Jabbing, and jabbing on, in its ruthless tirade. Jab, jab, jab....

I realized it when I went to the water hole to bathe. No one was around. I happened to glance down when I lifted myself out of the water into the rocky edge.

My stomach churned with horror when I lifted my hands to my face and saw an unmistakable view of blood.

"FUCK!"

♕︎♕︎♕︎

I migrated to the platform after figuring things out. Scrap cloth is what's saving me. I don't know how it would last me. The discovery has fermented an ugly look of disdain on my curled upper lip. I trudged up to the fallen tree, letting myself fall against it and huffing a dramatic sigh. As if the world couldn't serve me more injustices, God's greatest punishment loitered up the sand to meet me there. 

"Woah!" Jack laughs as he nears my side.

"Now you don't look happy." He points a finger in my direction.

Despite his words, my glare grows louder. 

"Oh, you think?" I slap his arm out of my face harder than intended. Curiosity pours from every inch on his face.

"Okayyy..." he drawls, taking both my shoulders and starts veering me a spot for us to sit.

"What is it?" He questions, very knowing of my demeanors. An answer is almost demanded. In my reluctance, I shake him off.

"It's nothing."

"Nope," he pops indifferently. "What's the new fucking issue today?"

I scoff and look away, speaking prominently. 

"I know you're completely convinced that you can read my every thought because your ego is fucking huge, but you need to get off my case."

I say it all without looking at him, because subconsciously, I can realize that the statement alone completely contradicts my argument that I was okay.

Jack studies my face, not convinced in the slightest. To egg my annoyance, a smirk aggravatingly tugs at his lips.

"You know, Sawyer," he starts slowly. I already shoot him a scathing look, just daring him to make a smart comment.

"If one day in the future you actually tell me what's wrong the first time I ask, i'd know it's an imposter," he states, grinning boyishly.

"Because God forbid you ever reveal such a thing!"

I roll my eyes at the sarcasm and sulk away. He is quick to follow, sauntering in cocky mannerisms.

"What??" Jack tries to defend himself reasonably, his smug humor renewed. "I'd know right away that the shape shifter couldn't be my Veronica if she did that!"

"Joke's over," I hiss. He raises his hands in surrender. Looking away from him, I scope around to check if anyone else was nearby.

"I don't feel well," I finally say. A loud gasp follows the immediate statement. Startled, I snap my head to Jack. He taps his hand against his chest in the rhythm of a speedy heart beat, pretending to be horrified.

"You just told me what's wrong!! It really is an impostor!" He exclaims melodramatically. Gritting my teeth, I stamp my foot to emphasize my words.

"I'm serious!"

"Okay, alright..." Jack winds down, placing a hand on my back. He's too amused at his own little knee slapper.

"Don't get too aggy with me, we've only been talking for about three minutes now. C'mon," he grins and leads me to a group of some boys. I see Ralph, Simon, Piggy, the list goes on... Scowling harder now, I shake his hand off my back. 

"Don't do that," I lash in a hiss. Piggy shoots a disapproving look, too harsh for his boldness. Ralph on the other hand clips an unbothered glance before that moment ends. Jack moves to help me down onto a log seat, but I push through his aid and get situated with the group. He stares at me for a moment before spatting more harsh words. 

"I'm gonna get you a damn cup of water so you can calm your fucking dick." 

"Jack, don't-"

"Save your pride for another day, Sawyer," he demands over my heedless words. "I'll be back in a sec."

Before I can protest, he's already swiftly hopped up to bring back some water. I drop my hand and sigh in defeat, and I choose to rest my chin on my knees. Glancing over to the boys, they're all sharing conspiring looks about my interaction with Jack.

"You okay, Veronica?" Simon's soft voice floats up to me. I buzz my lips and shrug.

Piggy then barges in with the heavy southern accent. "Yeah- you don't look so good!"

"It's fine. I'm fine," I insist. An unmistakable burn seethes behind my eyes. A venom of tears welled as a result of people simply checking on me. The moment someone asks if you're okay, it's always the breaking point to crack. However, I hold it in, laying my head back down on my knees. I don't know why the tears insist on wanting to drip. Without my notice, Jack walks back over with a hollowed coconut shell with water. He nudged my shoulder with his knee to take my attention. I lift my head to see him towering over me.

Somewhat grateful, I gulp down the water. It's nice and cold.

"Did something happen last night?" Jack interrogates me. I turn to him with tired, heavy eyes.

"You tell me." Dreariness clung to the simple statement. "I'm just no longer anticipating that this little act of yours will last more than an hour."

"What act?" He presses with faux concern. 

There it is. 

"Right there..." I mumble, squinting at him harder. 

"Is she good?" A twin interjects - I don't know which one. The genuine confusion from the others only added to his gaslighting. Jack laughs and shrugs before his arm roughly hooked around my shoulders and crushed me to his side - a forced display. I grunt at the sudden movement and try to pull away in protest, but he's too strong.

"She'll toughen up," he says confidently. "She's just grumpy because she woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Jack teases.

"Or should I say- wrong side of the sand?" He obnoxiously shakes my shoulder before playfully shoving me back to my sitting position as if to rile me up. I eye him begrudgingly for a moment, that being my only chunk of rebuttal.

Turning to Simon to talk, I can see a thoughtful expression that's practically stitched to his face all the time.

"I bet ya' she bonked her head late in the night getting it on with Jack," one jeering boy insensitively speculates as if I'm not sitting right here. My lip curls in disgust. I look to Jack in search of his bother to this, but he seems to hold no reaction. One of the twins takes a turn to jump in.

"She probably hit her head in the crash like Old Man Benson to make her go coo coo."

His brother quickly gave him a harsh smack on the back of his head, shutting him up. I let out a rugged groan, fed up with the pestering. Not saying a word, I stand up to leave as quickly as I had arrived. 

"Where you goin'?" Ralph speaks up. Oh, so now he decides to interject.

"For a walk." 

Uninvited, Jack hops up, letting out an obnoxious sigh as he casually saunters to my side. I look him up and down with every hint of judgement. 

"Um, no." 

"Um, yes," Jack matches my insolent tone. Not allowing me to shoot a retort, he roughly grabs my arm and tows me off to the treeline. I have to practically jog just to keep up with his speed walk so I won't be dragged along the ground. 

"What is wrong with you??" I clamor as we entered the greenery.

"Get it off your chest." Jack says it more as a command rather than an offer. I sputter in the lack of credence, blinking rapidly. 

"Excuse me?" 

"I don't know what it is you're going through right now, Veronica, but you look fucked up."

I show a contemptuous smile, not trying to plaster my anger in the slightest. 

"Yeah? Well I can't speak too highly of your appearance, either." 

"Don't get yourself in a twist, I didn't mean it that way," He clarifies rudely. I cave at the sour look he's giving. 

"What I mean is, you don't look all there. What is it?"

His tone is harsh, leaving no room to give me choice in his demands. 

"I don't want to speak with you." I pronounce through a tense jaw. Jack looks at me, unimpressed by my scathing complexion. 

"Fine."

I roll my jaw, holding my glare a second longer before resigning in acceptance, even a bit grateful that he let up so easily as well. Reconstituting my dignity, I flick my chin up high in air and adjust my jacket before turning on my heel with regained alleviation. After cracking a small half-smile at this conclusion, I let myself move forward. I should've known that the interaction was let off too easy, too good to be true. 

"Hold on a minute," a familiar voice calls behind me. My face scrunches in self-beratement as Jack's footsteps jog up behind me. As he rounds to my side, I look at him with a blank face and straight set of lips. 

"Look," he begins, already taking on a more tame approach. "I think we got off on the wrong foot from the very beginning, and now we are worse off than we were before. Let's just start fresh." 

My eyes flicker up and down his frame before I resume my stride. 

"I've been thinking about it, Jack, and I've decided; that I don't really wanna be your friend, nor do I want to be in any sort of situationship with you." 

I pause, smoothly rotating my frame to face him, almost robotic with how rigid I stand. 

"In fact, I don't want anything to do with you. I want to be left alone." 

"Don't be like that," Jack drones as I retreat further into the thick of the jungle. 

"C'mon." He grabs my elbow again, but not as rough as he had time and time before. 

"You hated me before when we first met, and there was a second there that we started to become friends." He gives a hopeful wince to match his short shrug.

I lour up at him warily, waiting for him to accidentally reveal a catch in his pining. 

"I want to at least hold on to that if we're gonna be stuck here, don't you?"

The thing is- I absolutely do not want to be his friend. Jack has a different definition of friends. What? - Is he going to try to get us to be civil again so I'll rethink the idea of a situationship? He knows he can't be completely at odds with the only girl he currently has access to. 

"Just keep away from me, Jack." I repeat steadily. My face is glued in the same persistent expression. There are strings attached in being close to Jack. I understand now. He blinks a few times, almost like he's bewildered that I'm actually turning him down. 

I no longer want to subject myself to his constant back and forth from being caring and then entirely infuriating. Everything he does has an ulterior motive, and I refuse to fall for it any longer. 

"And while you're at it," I add as I start to walk away. "Please keep your friends; Luke and Roger, at bay from me too."

"What's wrong with them?" Jack questioned. He can't be serious. I roll my head back to show a dumb look. 

"Luke is almost just as bad as you, and Roger is silently creepy." I think again. 

"They are almost just as incapable of leaving me alone, but at least they don't follow me around like desperate, ankle-biting children." 

His expression is unreadable, making me silently curse. I don't know why he makes it look so easy to read me, but at the same time keeps his inner thoughts locked up in moments like this. 

"I just don't want you to make me another problem with them because I've rejected you." 

Those last three words flick a switch in his brain. Something he isn't willing to accept so easily. 

"Don't try to convince yourself of things, Sawyer." Jack looms over me. "And do not ever try to undermine me to quench your own satisfaction." 

I hold our eye contact. 

"Leave me alone, Jack. I'm serious." 

"Give me one good reason to, and maybe I will consider it." 

That. That right there made me want to throw myself over the edge and valiantly scream. I wanted to tear out my hair for how everlasting his cycle of festering torment is. Maybe I truly am dead, and maybe this truly is hell. I sucked in my cheeks, realizing that my arguments were no longer going to do anything. He squeezed me dry. I'm drained of any fight. It's all pointless. The shaking in my hands doesn't subside, but I give Jack one last vacant look before turning to leave. 

"And I can't do anything about Luke and Roger, Sawyer. Stop acting like I'm some miracle worker for you." 

Only, he can. They listen to him, and he knows it. He just chooses to make everything hell for me. If anything else, he will encourage them even more now. 

"Let me go for my walk," I buzz plainly. Hopeless. He's so hopeless. There's absolutely nothing going for him. I can't expect him to apply any development to his character. I shouldn't expect it. 

"And there's nothing I can do about you thinking that Roger is silently creepy." Jack rambles on. 

"Roger's always the silent type. He may not have the strongest commentary, but I've seen him casually recite Edgar Allen Poe works and have the rest of the class shitting their pants over it."

A hand of regret tightens its grip around my spine. I should know by now, it doesn't matter what I say. Jack will literally find any words that I speak to grab on to, just to have some more excuses to consistently speak at me.

"You're just now getting exposed to his famous quirks." 

Famous quirks. Yeah, sure. I never thought I'd miss Roger speaking in riddles that feel mildly threatening, but also not threatening at all. Anything to make him stop acting like a freak is fine by me. Jack swept a hand back through his hair, taking the blonde wisps from his eyes.

"You know the phrase that goes, it's a reason, but not an excuse?" Jack's voice sounds serious. I flashed my gaze over to his steadily, giving a cool nod to not reveal that I wanted him to actually continue. What's Roger's baggage? His lips form a thin line of contempt, like he was debating on his wording.

"I probably shouldn't say," he backtracks, chuckling under his breath awkwardly. Intrigue crawls under my skin. Damn you, Jack.

"You already started, though," I chip in boredom, pursing my lips to show lack of care. Sighing, Jack's eyes drift around a few times.

"His mom. She's been six feet under for quite some time now." He gives me a knowing look. The hand tightens even harder around my spine. My lips part open in a stupefaction at that. I hadn't stopped to think that Jack would choose to pull some shit like that out of the bag to make guilt riddle me even more.

"Overdose," he clarifies. "His dad was always a lousy drunk who got a kick outta beating his two kids."

A pang of guilt sparks out dimly in my chest, which can't be resisted. Sometimes I forget that not all parents are destined to- or even should be parents. Tensing my forehead, I glance down at the ground. 

"So..." I tramp on slowly, wavering in discomfort. "Roger had a sibling?" 

"Yeah, an older brother. That's a whole other story." Jack nods roughly. 

I lift my brows, urging him to tell without vocalizing it.

"He's a legal adult, hasn't been in school for a long time."

"Did they not ever go to the cops? Authorities?"

Jack laughs louder. "A rich family means a rich head of the house. There was no use."

I keep myself in silence. Jack looks at me with his certain expression. Great, he's pleased that he got me talking into another subject with him.

"Listen, Sawyer." He starts in a very down set tone. "Just because something looks a certain way, like family, it's not always great behind closed doors." It took me a moment to process what he said. I look at him long and hard to get my question across.

"For instance-- in my family, you can't be a failure. My old man was a big military guy, which only means I'm supposed to either turn out the same way or better, right?" He looks to me for confirmation, but I can't provide an answer. 

"My mom for example," he says very slowly, hitting every word precisely.

"She couldn't take the heat, so she got the fuck out of the kitchen," Jack chuckles, almost bitterly. I tilt my head, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn't.

The curtain in my brain flickers dumbly. 

"And now she's...?" I trail off, cautious to not hop on an assumption so headstrong.

"I was four when she left," he finally says. "I still saw her, even after she remarried. But I don't blame her. I don't know how anyone could put up with my dad."

His lips curl up bleakly. "She got pregnant. Let me just tell you, she barely even lived through giving birth to me. I was going to have a sister, I believe. Maybe a brother."

I set back a little bit, searching the ground like I'll find a redeeming quality in the black dirt. The puzzle pieces click, and I think Jack can tell.

"She died in her second childbirth." He says it straight out. Not well rehearsed or practiced, but he said it. 

"Oh..." I concede awkwardly. Jack looks mildly pleased with my discomfort. I look at him, taken aback by the random back story, even a bit sketched out. I keep vigilant for another ulterior motive in his steady words. 

"Sorry," I choke out as if it pains me. "Sorry that happened." 

"It's O.K." he laughs, his blue eyes look into mine. Not too hard, not too soft. I see acceptance flowing through the tide. There's no visible grief that I can snatch from the waters to read. I study his face harder, on high alert. 

"I knew you'd do this," I drop my suspicions in front of him quickly. He groans, rubbing his hands over his face. I stare at him while he does so.

"What are you trying to say now? That I'm only revealing my family life to soften you to me?"

I have to keep my face at bay from giving a reaction. Fuck you, Jack, I want to say. Was I trying to accuse him of being a schemer? Possibly, I don't know. I continue to hold my sidelong gaze. 

"Course' not..." I rebuff dubiously, pressing my lips into a forced smile line. I can't keep from squinting at him in suspicion. 

"I know you're skeptical of me." Jack blatantly acknowledges. "But how swiftly you think of me as some low mudded attention seeker." 

He simpers, all dry humor leaking back. My brows are narrow on him, and I can't hold back the faint smile of perplexity tugging my lips. 

"Then convince me," I fire back. 

"Look. I was too young to understand it that well," he informs. "So I quite literally can't milk this as a life story for anything if I wanted to."

I hum in response, keeping a watchful eye on the blonde before me.

"Dad didn't take it well. I wasn't beaten like Roger, so you know. Dad isn't insane. I'm living a pretty fine life. How about yourself?"

Jack quirks the corner of his mouth up with that final word. Then, his frame slinks away, and he makes his way to the rocks near the water. I hesitate, but ultimately saunter behind him casually and sit on the boulders.

"So..." My words slither slow and careful. I waver side to side, almost debating on this engagement. 

"How did your dad react?" I turn, now sitting by him. Jack is relaxed in clear contrast to my firm position. He shows a knowing smile and goes on. 

"While he resisted to becoming some drunk, he was very against it, he was more... intense in terms of expecting me to do everything and accomplish everything he did."

Jack leans closer to me, maintaining a natural swagger; a trivial quality as he speaks for such a topic. 

"My father got around, if you know what I mean. He met a woman, and remarried her. She's okay, I guess. My step mom moved in not long after, then blah blah blah, and so on, so on... Life moves forward." He looks at me with the ghost of a leer on his lips. He's so... content with it. How? I raised my chin. 

I imagine his father as some big man with a cigar in his mouth, sort of like JD's dad, but a lot tougher and more cultivated. Perhaps an older clone of Jack. 

"My dad expects me to be this big, present military kid, always formal." He lets out a disgruntled chuckle. "He isn't impressed by anything I do." I notice the bitter curl in his permanent smirk. 

"He tries to fix his own life choices through me, but what can I say?" He glances over. "There's no hate like a divorced father's love."

He finishes his acidic words, smiling slightly as though he's almost amused at this retelling. I stare back in astonishment for his numbness.

"Have I convinced you?" He arches a brow, leaning closer to me. 

"Quite the opposite, actually." I answer in matching insensibility. He answers with a nod of acceptance while glancing away, looking at me once more, then away again. I exhale through my nose and turn my head to the glittering surface of the water before us. To my right, I feel Jack shuffle as he turned his frame more towards me, bending one of his knees up to rest his arm on. 

"Hey," Jack snaps me out of my thoughts. I turned back to him again, taken aback by how much closer he made himself, our noses practically touching. His reassuring smirk holds the abnormal quality to perplex in this situation.

"Don't overthink me." He starts simpering at my dumbfounded expression. I blink in place, feeling trapped. His blue eyes flicker from my eyes, to my lips, then back to my eyes again, making anxiety engulf my chest like raucous flames. My lashes flutter in puzzlement as I try to unpack the situation. Then, Jack tilts his head down, and he leans in. I immediately tip my chin down to stop the connection from occurring. We're so close that our foreheads gently bump rather than our lips meeting in a kiss. 

Jack leans back away, studying me carefully. I nervously meet his eyes and don't say a word. He nods as if to say, okay, and then chuckles it off like nothing. 

"I guess it's good you know now," he shrugs curtly, completely disregarding the moment. I'm even more surprised when he abruptly hops up off the rocks - a sudden spur of energy . 

"Don't get all quiet on me now, Vera." He teases, shaking my shoulders to get me riled up again. I can't even compute what just happened. Jack playfully shoves me away and straightens back up, motioning me to follow.

As he meant, I do stand up with him. For a moment, I remain in the same spot, and stare at his back as he ventures out of the clearing. A moment stews in the air where I can think to myself. The moment ends, and I start following close behind Jack, tracing his footsteps as to not trip over foliage. Our silence is snapped like a string by a sound bellowing through the air. The sound belonged to none other than the call of the conch. Jack turns to face me, gesturing to the sound.

"Look's like the Chief's a' calling," he grins.

♕︎♕︎♕︎

We gather around Ralph in a big circle, waiting to get our orders from him. Roger's eyes appear behind mine. I think about his parents. How they bloomed the silence in him that is so unnerving to me but normal to anyone inside his life. I notice Piggy standing next to Simon, and I give a polite wave to the two. The asthmatic boy must've taken the gesture as an invitation.

"Hello," Piggy appears at my side, giving me a startle. 

"Uhm-" I stammer, confused as to how he came up so quietly.

"Hi, Piggy," I try to sound as well-mannered as possible. I guess he wanted to skip the niceties, so he jumps straight to the point.

"I wanted to ask if it was true, what you did to that poor girl."

Formerly bored of the conversation, I perk up in intrigue, unsure of what he was getting at. 

"Pardon?"

"How you poisoned that girl with bleach." He spoke almost precisely in some pedantic tone. Another beat goes by as I blink.

"Who are you talking about?" I press, suddenly invested in what he's saying in my disarray. 

"How did you-"

"Jack said so!" He answers matter of factly, making my blood run cold in dejection. My mouth falls open slightly as he goes on and on absently, rehearsing the whole story.

"Yeah. He said that you got into an argument with this girl after being a cooze, so you had vomited all over her. Then she spread this rumor about you for being as rude to do those things, so you broke into her house to feed her bleach-"

"Wait-" I speak up suddenly, glancing in Jack's direction many times in confusion. At the demand, his lips zip almost immediately. I study his rounded face before continuing.

"Jack said that?" My forehead tenses even further. "No one else said it?" I cling onto the faint bit of hope that someone may have overheard the conversation. That would be better, and could be passed off as a misunderstanding. If not, why would Jack spread around my life stories?

Piggy nods enthusiastically. "Yeah!"

There was no mention of anything else before the drain cleaner, meaning that Jack put a spin on the fact that it was an accident.

"He told us that your boyfriend was in on it, and that you guys even got away with it because that girl became so frightened of you..."

I stand, frozen in anger as he speaks on. Jack didn't portray me in a good light, rightfully so, but I had trusted him in the moment of speaking with him! He made me trust him, and then I shared a moment with him, and went night swimming... did he say that I went fucked him like I have zero self-respect, too? My mind starts spinning on the possibilities.

"How have you and Jack been anyways?" He asks casually, oblivious to my thoughts on my relationship with Jack being supposedly secret.

"What?"

"You and Jack," he repeats. "He's said a bit about you two. Although I must say I didn't see it coming."

I furrow my eyebrows as he rants on, like practicing a historical presentation for school, or pitching an idea to some company.

"You guys seemed to always hate each other, so that's why I never believed it. Then again he can get anyone he wants if he tries."

I cut him off abruptly. "I'm sorry, please explain to me everything that he said."

Piggy sighs in annoyance, like I'm asking too much from him.

"He said you guys hooked up the day that we were all fishing. In fact, he told us you were all over him. Then after that you guys hooked up again in the pool before coming back. Why are you with him again?"

I set my jaw side to side, trying to process my emotions. Glancing back at the blonde, he is oblivious to my glares. 

"What did everyone else say?" 

"Well, Samneric don't know how Jack puts up with you. They think you're a bitch. But I think that's just Roger brainwashing them. I know you're too well-hearted for that moron anyhow."

I snap my head back to the rambling boy, staring at him scornfully. I decide that the Samneric thing could be on account of my short temper recently, but why would Jack spread this all around? We didn't even do anything in the water! It's all as I suspected. God, I'm always fucking right. 

A pot of water boils behind my eyes, fueled by pure frustration and slight betrayal for the invasion of privacy. 

"Are there any questions?" Ralph loudly asks. The audio breaks my trail of thought. No hands are raised, and everyone seems pretty set on today's game plan. Being honest, I have no clue what's going on. Everyone parts off from the circle to get to their own antics. Leaving Piggy to stand alone, I charge up to Jack, clenching my fists.

"Merridew," I grunt forcefully, yanking him back by the shoulder. The blonde raised his hands in question. 

"What?" He barks a laugh. I stare daggers into him.

"We need to talk. Right now." Suddenly embarrassed by every gaze, I squeeze his arm and drag him out of the clearing. His friends start hollering and giggling, pleasing Jack with the attention.

"Say bye to freedom," Luke claps his hands like this is hilarious. Jack slows down and hisses in a sly drawl of air.

"Yeahhhh, they get scary when they're older," he tries indirectly teasing me, gesturing to my tight hold on him. Flashing him a daring look, I march on out with Jack's remark leaving them all hollering in enthusiasm.

Shoving him into the treeline, he turns to look at me, shaking his head and already reciting his usual smug remarks. 

"Sawyer, we have got to stop meeting like this." 

At that, I finally blow up. Yelling about the story with Heather Chandler, how he portrayed me when we kissed, the lie about hooking up a second time, and spreading the stories in general.

"I trusted you, you shit! You swore you wouldn't tell, and then you go off and do just that!"

A flock of birds in a nearby tree scatters at my bellow, screeching in a duet with my voice.

I screamed in his face, eating into him while the rest of the boys were still in full ear-shot. They cackled from their positions at Jack being berated by me.

"Young love," I hear Tony remark through a sigh as I pause to take a breath. It's followed by a few giggles, making it known that they all are taking a closer listen than I thought.

Gritting my teeth, I stomp in their direction and swipe my hand through the foliage to confront them. At my entrance, they scatter. Grumbling under my breath, I return to Jack, yelling my thoughts.

"I'm sorry that you think I'm just another snatch, but I carry around a lot more self respect than you -- not to end up being tossed around in your little fuck stories! You just throw dirt on my name and watch the weeds grow! What's wrong with you??"

Frantic and confused, Jack finally speaks over me after struggling to get a word in the whole time

"Can you calm the fuck down?" He exclaims, scowling at my shrieked reprimands. Clenching my jaw, I go to retort about it, but he starts talking.

"I only told Roger about the bleach story because I never thought it was a big deal, okay?" He defends himself, still confused.

"Then why the hell does Piggy and all the world know??" I exclaim shrilly, waving my hands frantically to our surroundings. Jack's confusion grows.

"Then-- Roger, must've retold it. I don't know!" He spilled. "Chill yourself!" 

"Chill myself?" My expression darkens, making him fold, yet I was still unsure of what to say.

"And... I didn't tell everyone that we hooked up..." he says in a dodgy way. I set back, catching on and biting my cheek, waiting in anticipation to hear him out. He doesn't continue.

"Who. The fuck. Did. You. Tell?" The words crawl through my gritted teeth. A hash glare climbs his chest, only to remain heedless. Rolling his eyes and sighing, he provides a one-worded response.

"Roger."

Inhaling sharply, my hands grip my hair as I prepare to go on another shouty tangent, the anger boiling senselessly in my stomach.

"I didn't say anything outright- more like heavily alluded to it." He joked to lighten the air.

"Don't act like you don't remember spreading rumors. You're like every other boy who feels the need to tell God and everyone." I say directly. He takes my wrist before I can walk away.

"What're you on about? I- fuck, I'm sorry for telling Roger, but I wouldn't lie about other stuff and tell the others."

I roll my eyes. "Like that makes it any better." I try strutting off as dignified as possible.

"Vera-"

"Stop!" Fed up, my self control flooded itself to the brim. My head whips around before I can even think about the next handful of words.

"Stop with that dumb fucking nickname! God! Why are you ruining everything?"

"Veronica." He takes my shoulders. The calmness is infuriating. I look up at him.

"Who even told you that I said any of that?"

"Piggy," I answer firmly, the burn in my eyes was a distant background as I bite back. He rubs a hand over his face, sighing.

"God, go figure," he grumbled under his breath. 

I look at him with uncertainty and shrug, urging him to explain himself. I see him swallow and he looks past me, through the treeline.

"Listen, I'm sorry for saying anything to Roger. Sincerely."

Unsure of his truthfulness, I don't shake his hands away, but I step back.

"Jack." I say, holding my volume down. "Even if you only told Roger, don't you see how disrespectful that is?" I sound almost desperate to hold this new hurt back.

"How do you expect me to want to be your friend when all you do is torment me? All the added rifts in my life are coming from you. You, Jack! This would be a hell of a lot easier for me if you weren't doing all this extra shit!" 

I trusted that he wouldn't say anything. Doesn't he know to not talk to Roger about stuff like this? I think of what Simon told me about their closeness. All of it makes sense, but it hurts like a bitch -- like ripping off a band-aid that insists on clinging to the skin. A very distant part of me was still clinging on to the loose thread of hope that we could become civil. Jack will ensure that the prospect is impossible. 

"I know, I know," he dismissed. I shake my head vigorously. 

"If you knew then you wouldn't do it in the first place."

"I mean that I know that now," he emphasizes. I shake my head again.

"Bullshit. You've been friends with him long enough to know. And you," I fired even harder. 

"We just had that last conversation in the woods by the water like- thirty minutes ago?? Then I turn around and I found out you've done this?" 

His lips form a line, and he grips me tighter. "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? Really, I am."

"Why?" I throw the spotlight on him. He answers quicker than anticipated. 

"Because I like you, remember? I wasn't lying."

"Well you seem to have a talent of not proving it!" 

"I'm sorry," he repeats with the same steady tone. 

I call his shit again. "Then why do it in the first place?" His face falls as I can see him berate himself for this predicament. I feel my eyes begin to water as the frustration, exhaustion, and pure hatred began to accumulate together in a rolling boil. 

"It's sort of a custom thing him and I did back home when we were with the other academy girls," he explains. "We wouldn't normally see them again. I assumed he wouldn't do it here, cuz, y'know..." his voice trails off with the moving breeze. 

"Well it's good to know that I'm just another custom thing for you." I can't hide the crack in my voice. At that, I quickly turn around to hide my streaming face. 

"Okay, hang on-" Jack steers me back by my shoulder, and his body immediately jerks back as he catches a glimpse of my face. He looks bewildered. Sniffling, I thumbed away the couple stray tears from my cheeks, suddenly embarrassed. 

"Are you... crying?" He furrows his brows, wildly caught off-guard now. 

"Just please leave me alone, Jack." My words deliver as stunted mumbles, hoarse from yelling and the tightening knot in my throat. For the first time, I see Jack look dismantled. There was absolutely no hint of swagger or smugness in him, just pure bafflement.

"My God, I didn't know it would make you cry." He sounded more conscience-stricken rather than judgmental. 

"Well, surprise-surprise! I'm actually a human being! I know that's a shocker for you." I vocalize through thick sarcasm, throwing my hands up. Jack just holds his surprised stare and I silently beg him to drop it and start making fun of me. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of him. A rough sigh bursts out of me as I resentfully rub my temples.

"Oh, and please don't forget to write about this in your notes so you can brag to your friends about how you made the pathetic bitch cry." My words spat bitter venom. 

"I didn't know it would make you actually cry," Jack disregards. I can't tell if that's supposed to sound apologetic or not. 

"Revel in it why don't you?" I say scathingly. "And don't be so proud- you're not even half the reason for it. I'm glad to know that you can continue to live on peacefully while being stuck on this island, given that you now have no real responsibilities and nothing of value to get back to. Real happy for you." 

My eyes well up the more I speak, packing it all in. Jack watches me with an unreadable expression and moves forward, closer to me now. Neither of us speak as he reaches out, wiping away the tears fallen down my cheek with the sleeve of his uniform jacket. 

I flinch back, looking at him with a stare of poison and resentment. 

"Don't start," I warn. Jack puts his hands up in surrender and steps back. 

"I'm sorry, okay?" He repeats again. "I'm sorry." 

I shake my head and drop back against a tree, sliding down it to sit on the forest floor. I cross my arms around my bent up legs and rest my chin on my knees. Jack sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, veering off to the side. Silence consumes us. It's a short blessing I take refuge in. Lord knows it won't last. I ignore whatever he is doing and glance down at my rings fitted on my fingers.

I imagine his fingers laced through mine that night on the beach, when my rotten mind was being medicated by the loneliness I was feeling. How quickly I sobered up. And to think that I was fearing I'd start feeling stuff for him. 

"Who knew we'd be having high school drama on an island like this," Jack remarks abruptly. My eyes flicker up at him for a moment before quickly looking away. I hear him exhale loudly as he moves by the tree, dropping lower in front of me. The close vicinity we are now in thrusts me into another bout of tension.

"Drain cleaner, was it?" Jack muses in a casual brunt. My eyes flicker to him, narrowing inquisitively. 

"I mean, come on," he laughs as he glances around us. "You could totally do better than that."

I lift my head fully now as all previous anger dissipated, replaced by puzzlement. 

"Huh?" 

"Like- the bitch really had it coming, don't you think?" Jack scrunches his smile, not expecting me to respond. "I know you didn't mean to, but c'mon, you'd have to have been considering it, right?"

"Jack, I-"

"- I mean, I would." His shoulders rise and fall. "Sure, drain cleaner is incredibly deadly, but you could've gone for somethin' like paint thinner, perhaps anti-freeze... the list goes on."

I take my arms away from my pulled up legs and place them beside me, turning my head slightly as I wait for his point.  

"Rookie move, Vera." He laughs boisterously. "I thought you were smart." Jack pauses again. "Unless..." He trails off like he's waiting for me to find the answer. My eyes widen in absolute cluelessness for the rambling. 

"Unless you didn't plan on it, which you've already confirmed that you hadn't." 

I stare at Jack dumbly while he holds his every growing sly grin on display, twisting the single ring on his finger - a plain black band. 

"You know," He took a breath to change the subject, shaking a finger in my direction. "When I was a kid, I really wanted to be like a scientist, so I would try to mix a bunch of chemicals under the sink together to make a 'concoction' as I would call it." He looked back down on the single ring on his finger and chuckled to himself. 

"When dad realized what I was doing, he quickly stopped me as I nearly made mustard gas." 

A wry smile cracks across my lips as I persist to look at him with my furrowed brows. I don't know where he's going with this.

"He put the child protection locks on the cabinets and everything," Jack grins, shaking his head. "But that still didn't stop me. I would make concoctions other way."

"And how did you do that?" I ask, finally chiming in. Jack laces his fingers together and shows another casual bob of the shoulders.

"Eh, y'know..." He trails off slowly. "Dish soap in my dad's coffee, tossing whatever food I could find together in a bowl then nuking it in the microwave. One time I used a normal glass cup and it ended up exploding in the oven when I tried to heat up my random whatever mixture." 

I laugh. Quietly, though. Too breathy to be truly audible. 

"There was one time I mixed melted crayons into this pre-packaged cake mix to try and make it colorful since we didn't have food coloring, and I nuked it in the microwave in a mug." 

"And how was it?" I question. My head is ever so tilted at an angle. Jack thinks for a moment, before giving a withdrawn smile. 

"Ehhh, I dunno. It tasted like sweet crayons. And it was so hot I thought it'd explode. The first bite literally numbed my tongue for days. Should've let it cool off first." Jack snickers at the thought. 

"My dad really had enough of me by that point. Lots of the wax separated from the batter and cemented to the mug. It took forever to clean, even after soaking it in hot water. I was banned from ever making 'concoctions' again."

I huff out a breathy chuckle through my nose, not really thinking anymore of it. Jack goes back to playing with his ring, distantly smiling and shaking his head. As the humorous feeling exits my chest, the gap gets renewed by discomfort, and silence seems to fall back over us. I purse my lips as it happens, no words left to keep me distracted, and I remember the exact reason for this little conversation taking place. 

"You really piss me off." I murmur lowly trying not to make eye contact. Jack develops a close-lipped smile in acceptance for this score. He drops his head for a moment before looking back up at me. I can genuinely say there isn't a dose of pseudo-kindness in him that proves he plans on switching up to his infuriating self again, but who am I to be so sure of that? 

It is then that Jack rises back up from the ground and holds out his hand. I divert my eyes to the side and let out an annoyed sigh before relenting and taking his hand so he can help me back up. I hold a blank expression as our eyes meet.

"You swear you didn't lie?" I ask hopefully, digging for a possible redeeming quality. I don't know why I feel the need to find one. He shakes his head.

"I didn't, and I didn't twist anything. I won't tell Roger about the stuff we do or talk about again. I just thought the bleach story was funny. I'm sorry."

Pleased enough, I raise my chin in superiority. 

"Prove it," I say simply. He frowns.

"What?"

"Prove it. Tell Roger that it was all a lie."

He shakes his head as if to tell me things don't work that way. 

"He wouldn't believe me."

"Then you're not sorry," I turn my back to him and mockingly smile when he jogs up to me, calling me back by that pathetic nickname.

"Fine. I'll tell him. I'll talk it up like it was some stupid rumor to get your reaction, and that it worked."

Bobbing my brows to myself in an ultimatum, I turn back around to look at him. 

"Promise?" I harp on.

"Promise," he swears. Maintaining a dignified posture, I nod in approval. 

"Good," I pipe, not quite cheerfully as I cross my arms. 

"I, um, hope you'll make it up to me slowly by a change in your actions towards me in the future." 

He holds his blue gaze with faint amusement. 

"Somethin' like that." 

"And I hope you aren't expecting me to rethink what I said earlier. We are not friends." 

"We don't have to be, technically," he progresses as his smirk grows wider. I don't pick up on what he's saying. His white teeth clamp on his lower lip, and his misty eyes sweep up and down my body. 

"We do not have to be friends to just remain civil and work together towards getting rescued without fighting so much." 

"We don't have to be friends to do many things, really." Jack continues, flashing his eyes at me. I squint at him, trying to pick up what he's throwing down, but he just holds the same flirtatious stare. 

"And I hope this doesn't come between anything else- like, I don't want this to affect how we do our work."

"Mhm."

"And I do ask that you keep your friends to yourself if you even want to think about making amends with me. If that's not too much to ask, I mean." 

"I might as well make it up to you now," he croons. 

"Pardon?" I shot quickly, noticing how he was repressing the condescending grin creeping on his lips. 

"We don't have to be friends to act on our instincts, Sawyer." Jack moved nearer to me, raising his brows. "We don't have to be friends to just mess around once in a while." 

I open my mouth, sputtering in complete bewilderment for the straight-forwardness.

"Jack-" I stammer out. He only takes another progressive step closer, our chests practically touching. Then, a sharp breath of air zips into my nose at the harsh realization of a hand dragging itself across my waist to the small of my back. My eyes flicker away from his, to the coy arm snaking around me so smoothly, and back to his eyes. I imagine my cheeks look like ingrown tomatoes with the welling heat as I stare up at him with a stupefied look.

"Whatever you want, Veronica Sawyer."

My eyes like saucers, I blink the shock away and swallow hard to peel my gaze from his incredibly tantalizing simper.

"You can't be serious right now." I breathe. In a flash, my back is pressed up against a tree before I can think twice.

"Deadly," Jack confirms, awaiting my response. My heart thuds painfully when his tongue faintly grazes his lower lip.

It's only for fun, Sawyer.

While looking at him, my face is hard and serious. 

"Just ten minutes." His breath grazes the skin of my neck.

"Fuck you, Jack." I say through gritted teeth.

"Say it again."

God, fuck it. And I pull him in with a feverish need.

♕︎♕︎♕︎

The rugged background of the jungle blurs from my fast pace in my peripheral vision, becoming a floral painting. A peak of blue shines through the cracks of the trees up ahead, letting me know I'm approaching the beach. The ground below me begins to morph from green to gold as I leave the grassy area and come up to the sand near the edge of the treeline.

Shadows from the foliage scurry off my face as I make my way onto the beach, submerged in total blinding sunlight. I pause to sniffle, resetting myself and making sure that I still look presentable.

I take a quick scan across my straight view till my eyes rest on the person I was searching for. I make a beeline for him.

"Piggy," I call over as I approach the boy, crossing my arms. He's sitting in the sand, mapping something out with poorly traced pictures. The boy waves over happily, opposing my stern expression.

"I need to talk to you," I say calmly, sitting next to him. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and nods. I thought he was nodding me on to speak, but he talks before I can.

"Do you need to talk about your breakup with Jack?" He says solemnly. I blink in spot. "I'm sure by that yelling that you haven't been taking it well, especially after he said such awful things-"

"Piggy." I interrupt. He closes his mouth fast. I sigh and go on. "When you heard all of that stuff... did someone else say it? Like- retelling a story that Jack shared?"

Piggy purses his lips, screwing them up as he wavered side to side like he had something prepared to say.

"Well, it wasn't from Jack directly-"

My melodramatic sigh of relief breaches the air, interrupting the flustered boy yet again. He tilts his head to the side.

"Was it Roger?" I quiz almost knowingly. He trembles slightly, pushing his glasses up for a second time.

"Yes, but-"

"That's all I need to know, thanks." I hop up with pep in my step, glad to know that Jack wasn't as shitty as I thought. I still scowl at the idea that Jack could share our moments with anyone.

"Wait, Veronica!" Piggy clambers up to a standing position. Inwardly huffing, I reluctantly look at him as he rushes over my way. 

"Aren't you supposed to get to your duties soon? Ralph said-"

"Yes, I will," I wave him off, too relieved with what I found out. Taking a scan around, I do notice that people are busy with chores. Piggy goes back to inaccurate mapping -- which I assume was a tedious job given by Ralph to make him feel useful and keep him busy. My eyes land on Simon and Captain Benson. 

"Hey," I greet him. "Everything okay?" 

"As okay as it can be," he sighs. "I think he needs more water." He holds a shell up to the man's lips.

"Probably," I utter. "Well, I gotta go. I need to check the-"

"You and Samneric are to watch the fire soon," he says without needing me to say anything about the schedule.

"Oh. Thanks, Si." I feel dumbfounded as to how he knew what I was thinking.

"You're welcome."

I force a tight smile while walking backwards before I see Jack and his quote unquote, 'hunters'. Really, they're just some choir boys with pointy sticks, convinced they'd catch a pig one way or another.

"Are you coming?" One of the twins ask.

"Uh- yeah," I answer without looking at them. "You two go ahead. I'll catch up." Without replying, they turn on their heels and leave. I think I saw them both roll their eyes.

Jack notices me staring from where I stand graceless, and he starts jogging over. The sun reflects off his blonde hair.

"Long time, no see, chickadee." The corner of his mouth quirks up. There's a certain glow to him after our last encounter, which I will label it as, making him walk ever so more confidently, and making the charming smile on his face ten times as smug.

"Wipe that grin off your face," I shut him down, rolling my eyes.

"You look more relaxed now." He hints in a smart ass tone. I hit him with a sharp glare.

"Oh, shut up." My words sweep over his. "Don't be full of yourself."

The pride still shows hopelessly on his face. I keep my arms crossed.

"What are you guys doing today?" I nod my head coolly to the group of teens. "I zoned out in the meeting and I didn't get to glance at the schedules."

"Hunting, obviously."

"Hm, okay. Have fun with your hunting then. I'm on fire duty." 

"All about the fire..." he mutters and laughs to himself like he was the only who can hear it.

"Yes, because pig slaughtering is so fun."

He grins, putting a hand on my face and shoving me back gently.

"Jack, stop flirting!" Tony shouts in a teasing manner. His remark is followed by several snickers and wolf whistles.

"Get to your fire, Chickadee."

"Mhm." I purse my lips, dropping my arms lazily to do the mock salute. Turning on my heel, I allow a smile to paint my face when I hear him shout from behind me.

"Don't die!" Jack teases. I look back over my shoulder, flashing my eyes once in playful regard. I don't answer him this time, and move to catch up with Samneric.

♕︎♕︎♕︎

"Hey, guys." I pant heavily.

"Hey," They say in unison in the same bored tone as they marched up the incline. Something about the two talking with each other always seems to get me. It's funny.

I always thought twins finishing each others sentences would be more unnerving, like something out of that movie called,"The Shining"

We trudge up the mountain, tripping on the occasional loose stone or branch. Piggy and Ralph are heading down the mountain as we're heading up.

"We lit the fire." Ralph promptly informs. "If you guys really need to, one of you can come back down to fetch Piggy's glasses." Piggy crosses his arms that the phrase, huffing poutily.

"At least try to keep it lit."

"Yeah, yeah. You think you have to be thirteen years old or you can't stand a dumbass watch?" Sam sasses back.

"Just don't let it out..." Piggy warns again. The twin opens his mouth once more, but I place a hand on this back of his shoulder to pause him.

"Got it. Thanks, boss." I flash my eyes dismissively and usher the two boys forward. The fire is there a few yards up, and the twins scamper over to it ahead of me.

Soon enough, we're all sitting around the small blaze. I try to spark up a good conversation, but the twins are a step ahead.

"When are damned planes getting here?" One of them groans.

"Language." I correct pointedly, staring into the flames. The twin's eyes widen at my command.

"When are the darned planes getting here?" He corrects. I smile at his censorship.

"I was kidding with you, but I appreciate your attentive." I answer flatly. The twins exchange looks silently. I study their faces for a moment, determined to get the names right.

"Ok, ok, so you're Sam..." I point to the right twin with squinted eyes.

"Aaaand you're... Eric, I presume?" I point to the twin on the left, cocking my head to the side. Their faces break into open grins.

"You've got it!" Eric exclaims excitedly, his voice cracking a bit due to the high shriek.

"Ha, I guessed that, too." I'm half kidding. "Does this mean we're friends now?" I ask with subtle sarcasm. Eric's eyes drift up to the sky while he gently wavers side to side in thought before responding.

"Sure," he chirps casually. 

"Yeah, we can be friends," Sam agrees, flicking a twig into the flames. 

"Should I make the friendship bracelets, then?" The corner of my mouth curls up at the question. "Or is that more of a thing for besties?" 

"Probably." Sam shrugs. "Guess that means you and Jack need 'em, since you guys are, like, besties now." 

Eric turns to look at his brother in question. "What about us?" 

"I thought we were already supposed to be best friends by default." Sam replies pointedly, his brows knitting together. Eric nods, slow, like he's giving it serious thought. 

"Okay... yeah," he says at last, the words deliberate. "I guess we are best friends." 

I can't help but roll my eyes and suppress the smile tickling my face. Eric acknowledges my reaction cautiously for a moment before whispering to his brother. There's some hushed exchanges out of my ear shot, then the two boys finally swivel their focus back to me. 

"Are you Jack's new girlfriend?" Sam asks curiously, dropping the bomb into my lap. I feel my face tighten up in bewilderment while the other twin snickers away. I start shaking my head, unable to get a word in.

"I saw it coming!" His brother laughs before I can respond. Eric looks at Sam. "You owe me ten dollars when we get home."

My face tenses up. "Guys, I-"

"I don't know how you got Jack to put up with you, but you sure as hell did it!" Sam giggles, shrugging.

"What's that supposed to mean-"

"Jack's always been thirsty, so I get it," Eric cut in reasonably. My jaw clenches, trying to disregard that.

"Luke told everyone you were a bitch, but you've seemed alright after all," Sam chuckles in astonishment, oblivious to its offensive background. My eye nearly twitches as I force the close-lipped smile.

Eric jumps up eagerly. "When did it happen? Someone said they saw you two sucking faces in the treeline."

They break out into howling laughter, gripping their sides. "If that's true, that's really funny," Sam manages to exclaim.

"Uhm no, we actually-" my words get cut short, and my flustered emotions swell.

"Get a room!"

"They can't, you dork."

"Oh, right."

"Jack and Veronica sitting in a tree!-"

"--K-I-S-S-I-N--MMFG!" I press a hand to both mouths, my chest squeezing in immense embarrassment. I can't help but cringe at the muffled words they tried to say in this painful ordeal.

"Me and Jack aren't together," I insist. "We're purely civil with mutual agreements." I say, trying to sound sophisticated to appease the twelve year olds so they'd drop it.

"So just friends with benefits?" Eric asks blankly. A hand instinctively slaps against my forehead. This fire watch shift would be a long one.

♕︎♕︎♕︎

Simon and I decided to head to the small clearing in the woods with the little chameleon clinging to his forearm. I can hear the close sounds of voices, belonging to Jack and his 'hunters.' We come across the boys sharpening spears, plotting their pig kill.

"We've gotta have strategy. Y'know, trick 'em..." Henry explains while sharpening a stick.

"Oh sure, how are you supposed to do that?" I barge into the conversation uninvited.

"You just smoke em out." Jack responds dourly. "You crawl up, then light a little fire."

He sounds determined. Too determined. The whole demeanor about him, watching him aggressively sharpen a spear with odd intention. It was almost unsettling. Roger gives a small menacing glare.

"We have to practice on stuff that moves." 

Suddenly, Roger promptly flicks the small reptile off Simon's arm with his spear. No hesitation displayed. He jabbed the weapon into the lizard before it could scramble away. There was a small 'squelch' sound, as he penetrated the poor creature, leaving it twitching on the ground.

Simon looks devastated, on the verge of tears. However, he holds it together. It surprises me.

"Eww.." I mumbled in disturbance. Even Jack had a concerned reaction to Roger's 'Roger-ness'. Roger snickers in a sinister air. I frown at him. He's quite questionable.

Slowly and somberly, Simon gently picks the deceased creature off the unforgiving ground. He flashes a horrified expression to Roger, yet still manages to keep it subtle. Simon then humbly retreats into the greenery.

"What is your damage, Roger!?" I growl. He only stares with an unreadable expression. Instead, Luke jumps in.

"Everyone here is damaged. Get used to it, girly." 

Saying nothing else, all of the boys -- including Jack, go back to sharpening their spears, sharing their hunting strategies as if nothing happened. Wow, I think to myself, skulking away to go after Simon.

A few yards away, I find him kneeling down. He's crying softly while cupping the small chameleon in his hands as if he's cradling it. 

"I'm so sorry, Simon." I murmur. "What he did was messed up." He nods his head while sniffling. Oh, innocent Simon. The boy looks over his shoulder, peering up at me with wet eyes.

"Can we bury him? He needs to be able to rest in peace." Sighing, I swallow and nod. "Sure thing, kid. I'll help you."

We end up digging a small grave for the lizard. I place a small rock as a makeshift headstone. Simon decorates it with different assortments of sea shells and flowers.

"Can we pray?" Simon's voice is high and pure. He sounds so vulnerable.

"Of course we can pray, Simon." I agree. He bows his head, giving me the cue to pray along. He mumbles an inaudible prayer, his fingers intertwined on his lap.

"Amen," I hear him whisper.

"Amen..."

After moments of peace and silence, a loud voice sliced through the fragile tranquility.

"Simon!" I recognize it as Jack's voice. We both jump up, trotting to the source of sound. We find ourselves looking down upon Captain Benson, who tried to escape the area he's normally kept at.

It had already been known that the head injury had caused some damage, making him mentally unstable at some level.

A spear is pointed at his chest. The poor weak man looks beyond petrified at the threat that holds him captive on the ground. I follow up the spear, seeing that it's Jack at the other end. I hastily snatch the sharp end away from the old man's frame.

"Don't do that, you're scaring him!" I spat harshly. 

"Well he's scaring us!"

Simon is heavily breathing to my right. I knew he'd later blame himself. We hoist Captain Benson up, and carry him back to camp.

♕︎♕︎♕︎

Nightfall soon crawls over the island. Simon is keeping a closer watch on Benson. Most little ones are playing by the ocean shore, having the time of their lives. Meanwhile, me and the rest of the older kids stand in a circle, contemplating what had happened. Roger is standing by Jack's side, more focused on the glass bottle that Jack found in his hand rather than the conversation.

"Simon can't stay with him every single second." Ralph speaks in a hushed whisper. I look over my shoulder at the innocent boy before turning back to the circle.

"And Captain Benson's scared of everyone else." I point out. Ralph nods in agreement at my undeniable statement. Captain Benson really does seem to trust Simon more than any of the other boys.

"Well, I'm scared of him. He's crazy," Tony nervously informs. I roll my eyes at the stupid remark.

"We gotta do something..." Ralph states, voice trailing off with the wind. 

"We should tie him down so he can't move." Patterson suggests. I shoot a disgusted look in his direction. Jack chuckles and shrugs. The flames of the fire illuminate his half his face, making his gesture seem menacing. Roger is next to speak up.

"Either that, or we get rid of him." He twists his body around to smash the bottle against one of the boulders. The sound of exploding glass makes me flinch back.

"What the fuck was that for?" Jack barks out at Roger, immediately hopping back to avoid the glass shards. Roger holds the unbroken half by the nozzle like it's a weapon.

"Dramatic effect," he says, indifferent. Jack scowls and we all shuffle out of the 'danger zone.'

I harshly uncross my arms.

"Don't be a dick! We can't just give up and let him die!" 

Roger wordlessly looks at Luke, and they nod before turning back to me.

"Cut it out with that back and forth you two have going," I demand flatly. "And we aren't getting rid of Captain Benson." Roger shrugged as if to say, have it your way.

"Take a joke, female." Luke sneered. Ah yes, that's apparently a huge knee-slapper.

"Of course we ain't getting rid of the guy," Tony laughs to calm my nerves. I wave him off to let him know that I'm aware that it would never actually happen.

"But we could." Luke mutters loudly enough so I can hear. He looks proud of himself. Captain Benson violently tosses and turns uncomfortably underneath his mosquito net, catching all attention once more.

"He has a fever," reasons Ralph. "We gotta take care of him, regardless of if he's conscious anymore or not." 

I heavily sigh, fiddling with my scrunchie.

"Why bother? He isn't gonna make it. We have to take care of ourselves." Jack bluntly states. He shoots a stink-eye in the direction of the Captain.

"Exactly." Luke nods in eager agreement. They sound selfish.

I purse my lips in thought, my eyes squinting partially. I study Jack's illuminated face. I'm done fighting for the redeeming qualities which he so hopelessly lacks. I learned that the hard way. Believe actions, not words.

Fed up, I haughtily whip around, making it a point to them that I was leaving before storming off.

"Veronica, where are you going now?" Jack calls after me. Without turning around I respond, "Out."

"When will you be back?" Ralph yells. Finally, I stop in my tracks, looking over my shoulder quickly. My head slowly shakes in uncertainty.

"That's... a good question."

"What did I say?" I hear Jack question someone else, though it was clearly disingenuous. I veer off to the side of the meeting spot, speed walking till they're out of sight, then I begin running before I fall back against a palm tree, sliding down and dragging my hands back through my hair. 

This is your life, Veronica, I tell myself. Grow up. Deal with it. Or you won't be getting home anytime soon. You wanted to get away from your town to escape the memory of Jason Dean in the first place. You got what you asked for, so deal with it. Stop being a little bitch. Be careful what you wish for next time. 

If I'd truly gotten what I asked for, then I would've already escaped from the memory of Jason Dean and what he caused, but that is not the case.

"Veronica?"

"Simon," I sigh in a greeting, grateful it's not Jack coming to follow me.

"Are you okay?"

I swallow the knot in my throat, nodding my head. He looks at me, but I can see the doubt growing in his eyes which he tries to mask. Without throwing an accusation that I'm not telling the truth, he disregards it all together.

"Did they upset you?"

"No, I'm fine." I whisper. "You can go back. I just need to be alone for a while."

He nods his head slowly, eyes narrowed. "What do I tell them if they ask about you?"

My lips form a bitter line of contempt.

"That I'm still fucking breathing."

♕︎♕︎♕︎

♕︎♕︎♕︎

He'll find things to yell at me over one way or another.