━━
don't sleep on the couch again
even though you took it for the weekend
kiss me like you wanna stay
even though you're thinking about leaving
━━

"will you be home for dinner?" i ask him, expecting that maybe today he'll say 'yes', that maybe today he will look at me like he did before.

"maybe..." he paused, it felt different after a long time but then he continued, "mostly no." and everything went back to square one.

"at least try-" he didn't let me finish, he never does. sometimes i ask myself, why do you even make an effort when you know the cycle will repeat itself.

he sighed, it was a really piqued one, the one that sends you a message to stop trying, "i can't!" he said again as he tried to hide the underlying meaning, leaving it on me to decipher i'm tired of this it meant.

"alright." i smiled, but he doesn't really care anymore. it is always my mind consoling or probably lying to my heart, it keeps saying that it's okay, his work stresses him out, forget it areum, it's nothing when literally, there's nothing.

well, i am kim areum and the man who i so desperately wish would talk to me, is my husband kim doyoung. our relationship was like eden, the perfect kind that you'd proudly narrate to you your grandchild, a story worth boasting about but now we've been married for two years and who knew, that the so called mesmerising transition from dating to married would bring a change of it's own.

although it's just two years, a mere start of our journey together yet it feels like we have been together for way too long to grow tired of each other.

it's a new day but still the same old everyday. this is how our day starts and that's how it ends. short conversations, merely a word or two, not even full 60 seconds worth reminiscing. to sum it up, i would say that we are just aware of each other breathing and probably existing.