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Chapter thirteen: Fresh Start

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Warning!
This chapter contains sexual and mature scenes.
Also this is the last chapter before the epilogue :(
Hope u enjoy reading xx

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Luna

When I was four years old, I chased butterflies into a wheat field and got lost. The world was reduced to a directionless canvas of sky so blue it blinded me, and towering stalks of gold scratching in the wind.

The hiss, the whirr of that wheat, convinced me no other senses existed anymore, masked the possibility of escape. My life narrowed to that single sound.

I was alone. I believed I always would be.

That's how I felt at this moment in the great hall, looking on as the man I loved stared at another.

The minstrel music vanished, the clinking of silverware disappeared, the laughter faded. All I heard was my own rapid breathing, droning like the wheat field. I felt myself sinking into it. Lost. Alone.

Even so, I despised myself for being dramatic.

I felt Jimin's hand on my shoulder. A gesture of support. He must have seen me watching and come to my side, and I knew it was his hand because he had beautiful nails, pink and polished as seashells.

I'd never told him this. I still couldn't say why. Maybe I didn't want to remind him of the ocean.

Less than a minute must have gone by, yet in that time the stars had winked and my tolerance had plummeted along with my heart.

True to form, Namjoon broke the silence, splendidly clueless as to how much the floor had just slanted beneath everyone's feet.

"Now, now, Taehyung. No time to lose your knack for words. I'll have you know, this party isn't over yet."

Jennie chuckled, a reaction clearly forged for His Majesty's benefit. Her gaze roved over Taehyung, surveying him from head to toe, perhaps divining whether he'd changed.

I wouldn't know.

"It's a relief to know our hero has retained his poetic side," she teased, proof of her and Taehyung's matched ability to charm.

Finally Taehyung dropped her hand, his expression numbed. He hadn't graced her with a bow, but this did nothing to alleviate me. If anything his behavior was more harrowing, because his aloofness meant she still affected him.

"My poetic side comes out only when it suits the mood," he said. "Otherwise, I'm busy shooting things."

Jennie faltered. Namjoon frowned. I was going to be ill very soon.

"You know my husband, Mr. Lee, of course." Jennie presented a man who'd been hovering beside her. Handsome in a stately way, with the height to compliment.

The king's words burst into the space. "Lee is my head footman back at my Manor. I say, I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hadn't invited my most prized staff. And he cuts a fine figure. No need to be ashamed of his person here." Having said his part, Namjoon excused himself, evidently bored with the dialogue and moving on to more worthy discussions amongst the nobles.

"My Jennie has spoken highly of you, Mr. Kim." Lee inclined his head, his voice as warm as soup, simmering with confidence.

He'd won the girl, and he knew it. Taehyung did not intimidate him. "I'm sorry we never had the chance to meet earlier."

"Believe me, that makes two of us," Taehyung responded, dripping enough sarcasm to dilute every jug of wine in the palace.

The man grinned, which didn't surprise me. Footmen were generally known for their coolness and confidence. He paid Taehyung's comment no mind and placed his palm on Jennie's back.

I felt the pressure of Jimin's own hand guiding me away. I was in danger of being discovered eavesdropping.

"Tae is in shock," Jimin said. "And he hasn't seen her in a long time. He needs a moment."

I nodded. It wasn't as though Taehyung could introduce me as his betrothed. No one knew of us besides those we loved. Plus, if Jennie's husband could tolerate her reunion with Taehyung, so could I.

Whether or not Jieun could abide the girl was debatable. I saw her near a candle-lit alcove, squirming to get out of Jungkook's grasp, no doubt fixing to pummel Jennie.

In my heart, I agreed with Jieun, but I resolved not to lower myself to that level. It would do me no good. All the same, the unladylike temptation festered in my blood.

Jimin gave me a rueful smile. "Would you like to make him jealous? I'm good at that."

The best I could do was muster a grin. "There's no need."

"My thoughts exactly. You have more important occupations to fulfill. There is a certain weapon that you meant to present to Tae tonight, am I correct?" he asked.

I remembered the new bow and arrow pack I'd commissioned, a gift Namjoon and I had planned to give to Taehyung during this party as a token of gratitude for his contributions to the people of the Kingdom.

I could have sent someone to retrieve it, but I wanted to do it myself, to be the only one handling this special task.

I rushed out of the great hall and up to my chamber to fetch it. It was beautiful, with the lightest of handles and an engraving along the curve. Soft plums fanned from the arrows' tips. I took my time admiring the contours and polish. He would love it.

Racing down the spiraling stairs, excitement trilled through me. More so when I passed the gallery, somewhat of a distance from the great hall, and found him there, staring out a window into the darkness. He seemed tired, out of place in this castle. I wondered if he dreamed of the forest.

This was the perfect time to give him his gift. In private. We could replay the event in the hall afterward, for everyone else to see.

I stepped forward, but then skipped behind a stone column, my body tingling. Jennie approached him from behind, looking wistful and having entered from a second door on the other side of the gallery. She had the nerve to impose herself on him while her husband socialized in another room.

I gripped the bow's neck, choking it.

"You always did like windows," she said fondly.

Taehyung's shoulders tightened when he realized she was there, but he didn't look at her. "Some things are easier to see through than others."

Jennie wavered. She folded her hands in front of her. "I deserve that."

"Don't make me list what you deserve."

He didn't see it, but I did. She reached up to touch his hair but then stopped herself.

"I heard about you, all the things you've done. I was proud of it." When he didn't respond, she sighed.

"Taehyung, I never meant to hurt you. When Namjoon invited us here, I wanted so much to make amends." Her voice broke at the end.

Cracked like his always did, but on her it didn't sound natural. The defect in her intonation had to do with the emotions she tried to restrain.

She sidestepped him, cocked her head, studied his profile. "We grew up together. You can't hide from me. I know that face you're making."

Grasping the extent of their history together, the childhood experiences they must share, the things she knew and I didn't...well, I'd never felt so inferior. Or so infuriated. I smoothed over my hair. Taehyung loved touching my hair.

"Say it," she urged.

He whipped around, slamming the window closure shut. "You didn't have to use me to get to him!"

"I wasn't. Not at first!"

"Oh, no? Is that meant to pacify me?"

They were screaming at each other now.

"It's meant to be the truth!" Jennie argued.

"Save your truths for your husband, if that's at all possible."

It looked as if she'd inhaled a year's worth of air. "My father fell ill. I had four siblings to look after."

"And you didn't think I could help with that?"

"You were a farmer's son. Lee was my best friend and the head footman for a duke. I had to marry him. My family would be looked after. Medicine for my father. An opportunity for my brothers to become servants to a peer. You know I couldn't forfeit that. But I wanted you first. I did!"

He shook his head, furious. "Why did you lie to me then? Why did you say it was an act? And why the hell are you telling me this now?"

"I wanted you to move on. If you knew how I felt, I feared you wouldn't. That would have tormented me. I'm telling you this because I owe it to you. It wasn't fair to lie."

Stung, he twisted away.

Jennie pressed her palm to his cheek, and he let her. He let her. She turned his head so that his eyes locked onto hers. "Taehyung..."

From my spot behind the column, I saw his hand ball into a fist.

"Please forgive me," she whispered.

His fist relaxed. His jaw loosened. He thought about something and began to raise his hand.

He and Jennie were from the same place, with the same background, of the same class. But she was married. And that was my cheek she dared fondle. And those were my dark eyes. And that was my Taehyung.

Stomach twisting, I strung the bow, aimed, and fired. The arrow ripped through the narrow space between them and stabbed the window closure. Barely missing Jennie's decidedly long nose. She jumped back with a yelp.

Taehyung's head jerked in my direction, his eyes widening in surprise.

"How dare you." Jennie marched toward me. "Who are you? How dare you interrupt..." she trailed off once she stood at arm's reach, inventorying the luxury of my gown, its embellishments, color, and fabric. Classifying me as nobility.

Taehyung stood rooted by the window, evidently bowled over by seeing the two women in his life in the same room and at a standoff.

"My-my lady," Jennie said more gingerly, then gestured at him. "Do you not know who this is? Who you shot at?"

"I wasn't aiming at him," I countered, unable to recognize the harshness in my voice.

She gaped. "I don't think you're aware of the consequences of your actions."

Within an instant, I strapped another arrow to my bow and pointed. "I don't think you're aware of the consequences of standing this close to me."

"Dammit, stop!" Taehyung was at my side, renting through his astonishment and pushing past Jennie.

My bow lowered once he got in the way. For the first time since I'd known him, I saw fear looking back at me.

Fear and desperation from the man who showed none of these things to the world.

He blocked Jennie from getting between us, but I didn't have the feeling he was protecting her from me.

Indeed, it seemed he was trying to shut her out of our quarrel, not wanting her to invade our space, paying her no mind. Alas, I was too frazzled and confused to be sure.

For all I knew, he'd been about to envelope her before I interrupted. In truth, I felt certain he'd been about to do precisely that.

"Please," he began. "Hear me—"

I shoved the arrow pack into his chest, so hard and so lopsidedly, that they scattered to the ground. I threw the bow down as well, then pivoted and ran, ignoring the sound of my name. For once, he couldn't catch me.

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Reaching the highest turret and out of breath, I collapsed. I drew my knees to my chest, turning myself into a rock, an unbreakable thing.

I rolled back and forth, head bent. The wind whipped my hair around. The air smelled cold. Ahead of me loomed a dark horizon of hills and valleys, the grainy outline of Taehyung's forest. The glow of torches around the castle provided the only light. Them and the full moon.

I'd bathed under such a moon. With Taehyung, in the water. He'd kissed me for the first time.

In the gallery, he'd been about to kiss Jennie.

I unleashed, knowing my cries would earn me a headache but not caring. He'd been about to forgive her, so much easier than it had been to forgive me.

She'd forgotten about her husband. Taehyung had forgotten about me. I was a dunce. I'd been naive. It would always be her.

The current took my sobs and swept them out into the vista. No one would hear me. No one would find me here.

"Luna?"

Except him.

I shot to my feet, wiping my face with my arm. His silhouette stood a few feet from me, and I caught the shape of the bow and arrow pack I'd thrown to the floor, now hanging off his shoulder.

"How did you know where I was?" I demanded.

"I'll always find you," he said.

Even in the darkness, night couldn't dull his brown hair. I hated him for it.

"You're not perfect," I said. "No matter how golden you remain, no matter how many people praise and follow you. You're not perfect."

He came closer, stopping in front of me, his expression pleading, tender. "I never believed I was perfect. You think my friends would follow me if I were unblemished? Perfection is not why people love each other."

Do you love her?

It had always been on my mind. My most imagined reason why he'd ended his nights with me in my chamber, and even before that. The fear over whether I was his second choice. We were engaged, yet I wondered.

Taehyung set the weapon on the ground. "Luna, let me explain."

I shook out the folds of my gown, trying to regain my dignity. "There's no need. I saw everything."

"No, you didn't."

"I wish to be alone."

"No, you don't."

I moved to step around him, but he stopped me. One hand on my shoulder, the other on my cheek. Involuntarily, my eyes closed at the contact. His touch would forever do this.

"my love, your passion leads you to act far too hastily sometimes," he said.

I reared back and flung my arm out. "What was I supposed to believe?"

"I was talking about the arrow, not your assumptions."

Embarrassment caused me to look away. I'd behaved like a child. There was no cause to remind me.

"Your assumptions were understandable, though incorrect as well. Nothing was going to happen," he said softly.

"Only because my arrow came between you!"

"No. I wasn't going to accept her. I was about to push her away."

"Why? You want her."

Taehyung looked upset that I would draw this conclusion. He cupped my face, forcing me to look at him.

"When she asked me to forgive her, I was grateful. I felt release. That's the expression you saw. I wanted only to move her aside and find you. And then you almost cut off her nose, and I saw you standing there, fragile and enraged, a little girl and a warrior forged into one person. I'd never seen anything more beautiful." He thumbed my tears, shook his head affectionately. "I don't want Jennie. I have no desire to be with her. Luna, I'm promising myself to you. Please, don't doubt me."

Even though his words lifted my heart, I planted my feet on the ground, withdrew from his arms, and migrated to the edge of the turret. I'd been right. I was a fool, but not because of the reasons I'd thought.

I'd flown into a fit and nearly severed a body part from Jennie's head. Because I'd assumed the worst, without trusting him, and then without giving him a chance to refute my accusations. I'd acted recklessly. Had been doing thus ever since I met him.

I wagered he could say the same about me. We had that effect on each other.

"I missed on purpose," I muttered, as if that sufficed to atone for such a barbaric transgression.

Taehyung chuckled. I rolled my eyes, schooling myself not to laugh. As it was, I deserved to be placed in the stocks.

He advanced on me, the both of us continuing this game of pull and retreat. "Luna, pray tell. How does a man know which woman he wants?" Seeing me hedge, he added, "Don't think. Answer."

"He wants the woman he can say anything to."

Taehyung pretended to mull this over. "You."

I couldn't help it. I bit my lip to hide my smile. "He wants the woman who makes him happy. The one he thinks about when she's not near."

"You."

"The woman who challenges him and comforts him most."

"You."

I believed him. I did. Yet a greedy part of me wanted him to work harder.

"Come here," he murmured.

My finger glided over the ledge, wondering if he could see this with that keen eyesight of his. I didn't respond, braced myself as nerves popped inside me and released a flood of warmth.

"Fine," he said, closing the distance.

"Taehyung, I—"

He cut me off with his mouth. His supple, searing mouth, and I knitted myself to him, kissing back. The breeze beat at our clothes, beat the misgivings out of me. His lips brought me back to the lake, his tent, where we belonged together.

He spoke against my mouth. "I'm so in love in with you."

And I tasted hope.

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Taehyung

He tasted her. Luna's tongue, trembling and ravenous, lapped against his, and it was like tasting wildflowers and embers from a fire. He wanted to pull her down and make love to her right there, at the castle's highest point. To make her scream his name. To brand it within her throat. Inside her. Where he belonged.

Taehyung groaned when she pressed his hands to her bodice, urging him to tug at the lacing until he freed her breasts and they swelled in his hands.

His fingers traced their shape, the softness that tapered into hard peaks. She sighed, her head falling back as he took one in his mouth, devouring her at a leisurely pace, then switching to the other side, his lips drowsily combing over her skin, then returning to kiss her once more.

"I want you—" he began.

"I want you, too."

"I don't want to stop."

"Neither do I...but..." Luna dropped her head against his chest. "It's freezing."

He burst out laughing. The chill calmed his body down. Reluctantly, he refastened her bodice and then retrieved the bow and arrow. "Was this for me?"

"It was supposed to be a gift," she said.

Taehyung revolved the bow in the beam of moonlight and ran his finger along the letters embedded on the curve: Legend.

He grinned and thanked her. Because the weapon was magnificent, and because he knew she'd chosen the engraving.

"I meant to present it to you tonight, but then..."

But then she saw him with Jennie. Taehyung's jaw clenched. He hated seeing her hurt, especially when he was the cause.

Understanding what he needed to do, he took her hand and wordlessly led her down the turret stairwell, across the courtyard, into the keep, and into the great hall. Back to the sights and sounds of celebration.

Luna stayed quiet until she realized they were heading toward Namjoon and Jennie.

"Taehyung, what are you...we can't interrupt," Luna said. "She's speaking with His Majesty. He might have requested her."

"So much the better," Taehyung said.

He caught the tail end of the discussion, which explained why Jennie had even acquired a private audience with the king.

"I have no idea where Taehyung is, sire. I saw him earlier, but he disappeared and ran after a disagreeable maiden. She had the nerve to..." Jennie noticed them coming, a look of repentance on her face, then bafflement as her gaze landed on his hand laced with Luna's.

Namjoon balked, probably more from the speed at which Taehyung invaded their conversation than the impertinence of it. The action was enough to steal the entire hall's attention.

"Oh," the king pouted, gesturing at the bow. "You've already been given your prize. Lady Luna, I have a mind to scold you. We meant to do that in a grand fashion. Otherwise, what's the point?"

"I've received a better prize. The giver herself. You see, I recently asked Lady Luna an important question." Taehyung gently tugged Luna in front of him. "And she said yes."

Silence prevailed over the hall. In the background, his gang pelted him with smirks from various corners of the room. Jieun in particular.

Shock flickered over Jennie's features, a twinge of sadness that admittedly cut at Taehyung because she truly had wanted him once, and in spite of everything he wished her no ill. He did not announce this to pain her. He did this to show that he'd recovered, and she no longer needed to harbor guilt. Or any other hopes.

Social protocol dictated that His Majesty be the first to speak, but his mouth kept flapping emptily. So Jennie boldly took the initiative. She wrestled up a smile that seemed controlled by invisible strings, turning her into a marionette. "I'm happy for you."

"Well, I say, I say, I say." Namjoon clapped, catapulting into laughter. Like the twist of a lock, it unfastened the guests from their stupor and they applauded along with him.

"It's an irregular union, but I'm not allergic to gossip. The hoopla alone is worth the trouble. We'll have visitors from all over the country. You are lucky you're luminaries at the moment. Hence, I give my blessing."

Once the king finished yammering about a ceremony Taehyung had no intention of letting him control, His Majesty sauntered off to further rely his thoughts on the matter to the rest of the aristocracy. Jennie loitered, not knowing what to do with herself.

Taehyung squeezed Luna's hand and whispered, "Will you give us a moment?"

Her frown created two adorable creases between her brows, reminding him there were so many things about her that he'd yet to discover. But she was stubborn like him. So he mouthed, "I love you."

And she smiled. He laughed inwardly when she retreated to Jieun's side of the room, as though an unspoken alliance had been formed between them in the past hour.

Jennie's quivering voice tore him from his thoughts. "Why her?"

That's how it was, he thought. That was Jennie. Asking another man a personal question while her husband, Lee, talked the sheriff's ear off in the corner.

She'd always been indiscreet. Giddy and grumpy to an artless degree. He'd once been amused by that. Part of him still was, but not with the same affection.

When he first saw her in the great hall, he'd plummeted headfirst back into that cave, that tangle of memories. He thought the past year in the forest had been a dream, and it had scared him. Immediately, he'd wanted to return to the present and all the people in it. And so anger had become the vehicle.

Taehyung wasn't angry anymore.

He still hadn't answered her question. Why Luna? Because she was my girl, because she hated losing yet enjoying learning, because she straddled the lines between grace and fierceness, naivety and cunning, vulnerability and resolve. Because once, when Hoseok asked her to, she sang...and had stolen Taehyung's most valuable possession. His heart.

She was a better thief than he.

"I said before that I know your face," Jennie uttered. "You don't have to answer. I see it."

If he wounded her in some small way, he was sorry. Because she was still the girl who sewed him a stuffed lion for his seventh birthday, the girl who used to draw with him as children, the girl who gave him his first fleeting moments of ardor. Jennie embodied his past, but that was all.

She offered Taehyung her hand, the both of them sharing one last thing together, a single private thought.

Goodbye.

Then he let go, and watched her return to Lee. And Taehyung found himself across the room, his fingers reaching for the girl with the silky hair. The only girl.

Hello.

Namjoon insisted on a betrothal dance. As Jungkook commandeered a musician's lute and began to play, Taehyung followed Luna to the center of the hall, smiling when she glanced at him over her shoulder and winked, aware that he didn't know the steps.

They circled one another carefully, right arms raised, palms up but not touching, and she whispered when it was time to switch arms and change direction.

They barely spared the other occupants of the room a second glance.

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Instead of white, she wore a blue dress. It was her favorite color. They promised themselves to each other in secret, with only their friends present. Namjoon could plan his spectacle of a wedding later. Right now, they only needed the woods and the lake.

Taehyung kissed Luna before the priest said it was time. Or it might have been Luna who didn't wait. Taehyung actually couldn't tell. They laughed through the kiss.

Hoseok cried. The sheriff swore he'd only have one drink but poured a second glass because Soojin was there. Jimin pushed Jungkook into the water, then Jieun pushed Jimin, then Luna pushed Jieun. Jisoo and Lisa danced.

Taehyung watched it all.

Later, back at the old camp, he left Luna at the fire pit, where she spent a private moment saying goodbye to her sister. Lisa was returning to Busan with Sheriff Jung, Soojin, and Jisoo, now Lisa lady's maid and irreplaceable friend. It made Luna feel better that Jisoo would keep Lisa company.

Hearing of his heroics, Busan had welcomed Jungkook back, but it wasn't the woods. Hoseok and Jimin had been offered a place in the palace's guard, but it also wasn't the woods. They and Jieun decided to keep to the new camp their band had built. All of them, along with Taehyung, would serve as defense liaisons to Namjoon.

Taehyung was also ordained as an ambassador for the villagers, taking matters of daily concern to the king's court.

As the night wore on, Taehyung grew impatient, observing Luna in her fetching blue gown, a wreath of flowers crowning her loose hair. Her skirt clung to her waist. She licked a drop of wine from her lips. Dawn was breaking by the time everyone disappeared in a line of horses. The instant they did, Taehyung threw Luna over his shoulder and sprinted toward the tree house.

Propping her back onto her feet, he pulled her against him and tugged on the rope pulley, kissing her on their way up into the branches. Above the ground, they wasted no time. She walked backward, arm outstretched, tugging on his fingers. Taehyung read her expression.

She wanted something specific. He asked her to tell him.

"Remove your clothes," she said.

Nothing could have enticed him more. He moved slowly, pulling his tunic above his head and tossing it to the floor, watching as her breathing altered. Then he unfastened his pants. Unknotting the cords at his waistband produced a soft grazing sound that filled the space. He prolonged the act as much as possible.

He could see her getting frustrated, which made him grin. So he let the breeches drop, kicking them away. Then he waited.

Her gaze drifted over him. "Sit on the bed."

Taehyung liked this side of her. Of them.

He did as she requested, and she deftly removed her gown, revealing the pieces of herself that he'd held in his memory. A sigh misted from his throat when she straddled him.

"Can I have you?" she asked, reminding him of their first time, his own words.

"Yes."

"Say it."

He really liked this side of her.

"Take me, Luna," he said.

They moaned as she sank onto him, landing fully in his lap and sheathing him inside her. Her body jolted once, perhaps from the position, or the sudden connection.

He couldn't truly tell how it affected her until she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, and he felt her squeezing her lids shut. Now, he recognized the gesture. She'd done the same thing in the lake, after he'd touched her but just before she began to cry.

He reciprocated the hug, gathering her to him. "Luna, are you alright?"

She remained silent. A moment ago, she'd been blunt about what she wanted.

"Look at me," he said.

She raised her head. Unlike the last time they were together, he knew her better now. He pressed a finger to her chin, registering what she couldn't say, but what they both felt. He said it for her. "I've missed this, too."

She smiled. They continued. Eyes locking, she rocked back and forth while he clutched her backside and guided her movements.

"Tell me how it feels," she panted.

"So...so good."

"And that?" She began circling her hips.

Taehyung's flung his head back and issued guttural cries that hit the ceiling. He was completely at the mercy of her body.

This went on and on, making him delirious, his fingers wandering, discovering the spots she liked. Sensing they needed more, his hands climbed up her back and hooked over her shoulders, securing her in place as he increased their rhythm. He beat his hips against hers, thrusting up and causing her thighs to split wider.

"Oh God, Taehyung," she whimpered.

At the spot where they were joined, he burst, and she followed, and they were loud, and it lasted a long time.

Afterward, they clasped each other, catching their breath, holding on, holding. Then letting go and falling onto the bed, where he drew the blanket over them and did more holding.

Luna lay on her stomach and turned her head to face him, watching as he traced an arrow up her spine.

Her gaze drifted lower. "I love your hipbones," she said out of nowhere.

"I love your everything."

"I'll allow that."

In a quick move, he yanked her on top of him and flipped them over, his body filling hers once more. She swiped a lock of hair from his forehead, and Taehyung stared at the simple gold ring that he'd slipped onto her finger, glinting in the early morning light. So unlike the gaudy jewel he'd tried to rob from her ages ago. And unlike that last ring, this one suited her perfectly.

So perfect he might have to steal it away, just so he could place it on her finger one more time.