sure he was an absolute angel a majority of the time we spent together but sometimes he said things which made me question everything. he'd hurt me, never lay a hand on me though, he wasn't that kind of man. never could be that kind of man.

i'd see him around school with other girls a bit too close for my liking, and i'd know when he would leave a broom closet two minutes after a slytherin. it hurt me, really but i never truly learnt how to handle my hurt. so what did i do? i did the exact same thing back to him. i think i had more flings that year than i ever would in my entire life

one night we sat in my room and he was yelling so loud about how i shouldn't be doing this, he said some pretty hurtful things that night. shit was he a cunt . "i thought you liked me!" he even said as if he wasn't hooking up with people behind my back. i mean what did i expect, he was young and hot obviously he'd be tempted but naïve little me thought i was enough to keep him centred all the time.

now just because i may sound angry don't ever think i didn't love him, we had our issues but so did everyone else in the world and the important thing is we worked it out. did we take our time? yes. do i regret it? yes. if i had pushed my pride behind me maybe we'd have had more time together before he died. i know i shouldn't dwell on the past but that's all i seem to be doing these days.

i'll see fourth years leaving a broom closet together, 2nd years holding hands in the hall, even my own friends make me jealous. i just wanted my cedric back laying beside me telling me everything would be alright.

i shouldn't have expected him to have stuck around forever though, after that day in my bedroom we started to crumble. i had just wanted him to say he'd stay with me forever but it was a stupid request, i know that now. it broke my heart a little and i can guarantee that it started our decay.

we were like pompeii, tragic.

love, lydia blake