me and joong still sat in the car and I blinked softly trying to process what was happening right now.

"look joong.." I started to say "it's just I always loved you and you left me do you know how much that hurts?" I said and he had a guilty face and looked nervous "I never cared anyway, stupid." he said and just looked away and took a deep breath.

"you've changed a lot." I said looking out the window "I hated being messed around with for being gay, I fucking hated myself okay?" Joong said and I looked at him "I hated being the different one." joong said "I'm sorry you fucking left me." I yelled at him and just blinked and looked away.

we drove back to my house and it was late night, the starts shined bright and joong fell asleep on my shoulder.

I saw a note on my lap so I opened it it said "I'm sorry for everything, I loved you so much but I didn't wanna be bullied for loving you." I crumpled it and cried while looking out the window.

I messed up.

they dropped me off and went to my room.

I grabbed all the Polaroid pictures of me and joong and cried while looking at them.

"it's never going to be the same as it was." I said muffled as I cried into my sleeve.

I woke up the next morning as the birds were chirping and I feel a body on mine, I was confused.

I looked down and it was joong who had his arms wrapped around me and his head was in my neck "joong." I said in a sleepy voice "hm?" he said muffled "we need to get up." I said blinking as my eyes woke up "no." he said and I tried to get up but he pinned me down on the bed.

it felt romantic?

"sorry." Joong said sitting down in my bed "look we need to apologize." I said "yeah I know." joong said looking around my room "your pretty." joong said tucking hair behind my ear "thanks." I smiled and joong saw the picture of me and him as kids on my side table "that was in the field." joong smiled "hm? oh" I said "yeah." I then said with a smile and dazed off.

"can we just sleep?" I asked "sure." joong said and he cuddled me "I missed you." I said to him "me too." he said and I felt tears come out my eyes.

it won't be long until a fight.