chapter twenty five
She was slightly out of breath once she reached his car, having to swallow harshly when she met him at his car, him leaning his back on the driver's door as he looked down at her, a look on his face that she could only identify as, jealousy? His jaw set, fists clenching along top his thighs, his side profile's outline being burned by the crisp evening sun.
It's the way that even though she was getting ready to scorn him about possible being jealous about her relationship with Payback, she couldn't deny the way her heart fluttered as he turned his head to her as she called his name once more. His eyebrows raising, as he saw her lightly flushed face, her chest rising up and down as she swallowed harshly. "Jesus, when was the last time you ran?" He spoke sarcastically, the ghost of a smile hinting at his lips.
She rolled her eyes with a scoff, setting her hands on her hips, "I only ran when I had to, Bradshaw. I don't do it for fun. Who the hell does that?" He shrugged, "I do."
Dakota pursed her lips her eyes thinning as she glared as she glared at him, "Yeah sure, of course you do. You know I'm not even surprised that you do, Bradley. I mean for the love of god look at you. Like holy shit did you just-" she cut herself off sharply, catching the ramble that she happened to stumble into, something she did when she was getting ready to confront someone.
She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as she heard a light chuckle come from the man in front of her. "Never mind that," she waved her hand, thankful for her aviators that covered her embarrassed expression somewhat. "What I meant to say was," she made her way next to him, joining him in leaning her back against his car, shoving her hands into the material of her army-green jumpsuit.
"Why did you seem so upset during training today? You were fine this morning." She said quietly, the distant sound of jet engines roaring across the painted sky. "'Cause I was." He shrugged, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. Their shoulders brushed against each others as he shifted his weight to the other foot. Her eye brows furrowed, her unruly curly tickling her cheek as the hot wind blew. Shockingly, her hair didn't look like shit when she took her bun out in the locker room when they were dismissed. "Why?"
She found herself once again, scared to speak too loudly, that her voice would simply break the blissfulness that she was trying oh so hard to bask in; just being in his presence, the faint smell of his cologne intoxicating her senses. "It's stupid." She heard him mumble, her gaze focused on the side of his face as he kicked around a pebble that was placed on the asphalt.
Dakota pursed her lips, "It probably isn't." A beat of silence between the two before she spoke once more, just watching as he avoided looking at her. "C'mon Bradley," she hesitantly brought her hand up and placed his against his bicep, feeling in muscle tense at her touch then relax quickly after. "Y'know you can tell me. I mean why would I out of all people judge you?" A triumphant feeling washing over her as she saw the corner of his lips quirk.
He shrugged his shoulders, making her hand fall back to her side, and lifted his head from the ground to stare out at the runway around them.
The silence around them drowned her, making her feel like a mountain was placed on her lungs, making it hard to breath as if she were fighting for her life, just to keep the silence from just killing her. "I'm scared." He muttered beneath his breath.
She furrowed his eyebrows, her nails digging into her palms that were in the pockets of her jumpsuit once more. "Of what?" He sighed heavily, turning around and placing his forearms against the rolled down window of the driver's door, clasping his hands lazily together and relaxing his neck, making him look down. "Of everything. The mission, the future,"
It was as if a higher being had been watching her struggle these past couple of weeks, giving her a taste of that sweet, forbidden nectar that she never allowed herself to have. "You." Her heartrate increase with just hearing him speak that last word.
And yet, she couldn't help the stupid, stupid words that tumbled out of her mouth, "What are you talking about?" She heard a barely audible sniffle come from him as he still looked down at the asphalt below them. "You. I'm scared of losing you."
Dakota swore her ears just decided to stop working, that after years of flying in insanely loud jets that it had finally taken its toll on her hearing. And yet, somehow, just by him lifting his head, his red eyes that threatened to spill salty tears down his cheeks connected with hers, that showing her sudden confusion of his words. "What?" She felt so idiotic by uttering such a simple word, but her brain just didn't seem to process.
Bradley stood back up to his full height, leaning his left shoulder on his car as he held eye contact with her, to her dismay, making her stomach tighten up in knots of anticipation, her heart beating so rapidly that she was scared it was going to eventually fall out of her ass. "It's like every time I share someone important in my life, they always leave."
The sun cast golden rays onto his tanned face, highlighting his hazel eyes perfectly, shining through his honey curls; god she couldn't be more obsessed with the man in front of her than she was right now. "My mom when she got a boyfriend, my dad with Maverick," her breath hitched in her throat at his words, teetering on the edge of what she felt like she's waited to possibly hear.
"And now you with Payback."
Bradley tugged at her wrists, pulling her hands out of her pockets and held her fingers with such delicacy that she wasn't even sure she felt his touch dancing along the palm of her hand; the rough pads of his fingers tracing small hearts, sending bolts of electricity through her nerves, making her mind fog.
She heard him sniffle lightly once more, making her pull her eyes from their hands to his, her jaw slack, at a lost for words. "Bradley-" "I just can't lose you too. Not right now." He softly spoke, bringing her hands to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.
All the words that were strung through her vocabulary seemingly didn't exist anymore. Her mind was in shambles, a city after a tsunami, angry bees after violent winds swept through their hive, wheat after a thunder storm. She didn't know what to say.
Her mouth opened, trying, wanting, hoping for words to tumble out; yet none did. The person that her mind had by fixated on for god knows how long, finally spit out the words that she wasn't just some fuck to him. She was at least his something. And he was her something too.
"You mean something to me, Dakota." He breathed, pulling her closer to him by her hands, wrapping them around his torso. "And I'm not expectin' you to even say something." He brought his hand up to her cheek, cradling it as if she was the most important person in the world; and she might've been, to him. She leaned into his palm, relishing in the feeling of his hands, one on her cheek, the other around the small of her back, pressing her more into him every so often.
His eyes connected with hers, making her nerves jump, feeling herself meting at the intimacy that the two of them were sharing. . . on the base's parking lot. "I just," he inhaled sharply, his eyes focusing on her mouth as he spoke. "I just wanted you to know that. Before we," a small smile pulled at his lips, hers doing the same. "Before we head out tomorrow." He let out an airy chuckle, the sound encompassing her.
She stayed silent, wanting to cherish what might be the last moment of them alone together, before the mission; her heart clenching painfully in dreading anticipation, her head spinning with thoughts. She didn't want this moment to end, the moment she found out she meant something to the man whose been on her mind for years.
He watched as her teeth peeked from behind her lips, an adorable smile making the corners of her eyes crinkle, a giggle that made his heartrate quicken in his chest. And he couldn't help but match the smile, wanting nothing more than to take away the pain that he might've caused her previously.
Dakota brought her soft palm up and placed in on the back of his neck, fingers getting tangled in the soft curls that grew there. Her eyes softening as she gazed longingly up at him, her smile faltering. Why on earth was she scared to tell him that she felt the equivalent? The doubts overpowering the once gleeful moment.
"You are incredible, Bradley Bradshaw."
She was still hesitant to admit she felt the same way towards him, to admit that he was her something as well. Scared that for some reason, this was all some terrible joke that him and Hangman made up.
So she didn't, and pressed her lips against his lovingly, hoping he could feel, taste, experience the thoughts and feelings she felt for him.
-
Phoenix knew what she was in for when Dakota walked through the door of her apartment with teary eyes, her nose scrunching up every time she sniffled quietly.
So when she walked out of the bathroom, frame engulfed in one of Bradley's old Naval Academy shirts, eyes puffy and red, and hair thrown up to at least be out of her face, she wasn't surprised when the girl walked over to her spot on the couch, and laid her head in her lap and bawled.
Muffled yells and sobs could probably be heard from her next door neighbor, but she didn't care; her best friend was hurting and she needed to be there for her without worry.
She brushed her fingers along the length of her cheek, her other hand holding hers, Dakota squeezing it tightly when occasionally when another round of tears over flowed along her lash line. Phoenix heard muffled words pour from her mouth as she sobbed, stuff along the lines of 'Why didn't I just tell him' and 'He means so much to me'. Her heart broke as she felt her lean her body more into hers; the left side of her face squishing into a pillow that was placed on her lap, pulling her legs further into her chest, setting their intertwined hands on her thigh.
Now Natasha knew Dakota wasn't mad at him, or anyone in that matter. It was herself she was mad at.
Her free hand still delicate brushing down the side of her face, her fingers wiping away the tears that escaped her eyes. "Shh, you're okay 'kota, you're okay." Phoenix tried so desperately to calm her friend down, knowing that they shipped out tomorrow for their mission, and that she didn't and couldn't fly up to her standard with her mind this scattered.
More and more tears just continued to flow down her cheeks freely, her face red and covered in dried tears as she just cried and cried. It's not like there was much more to do, like there was someone else she could pour all this onto, someone else that she could blame for making this happen. She could've easily just told him that he was her something too; that he meant something to her. But she didn't, too brought down by her own doubts.
And so, all that night, while the two of them should've been resting, sleeping, mentally preparing for their upcoming mission that they left for tomorrow, she stayed up with Dakota, knowing that she just needed someone to be there for her, someone that wouldn't judge her, someone that understood her.
PAIGE SPEAKS
OH MY GOD IM IN LOVE WITH THIS?????
now i had to get in the right head space to write this so here are the songs to listen to while reading this if you'd like🙈
penny's return - interlude, by harold faltermeyer
deliverance, by thomas bergersen
and
grace, by arturo cardelús
the last two songs mean a lot to me bc my high school marching band (yes yes ik im in marching band DONT LAUGH) played these songs in their show last year and i cried every time we played that portion of the show ngl🥹🥹
and yes, i'm aware, there has been a serious lack of smut recently BUT NEVER FEAR!! a lot is in the last chapters of this book okay???????😝😝😝😝😝😝😝🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
i'm really tryna focus on soft! brad x dakota rn and i hope u guys likeeeeee
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