CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

THE SMELL OF vanilla was heavy in the air, along with the occasional whiff of gingerbread that would float from the kitchen. She sat in the living room, her fuzzy socks making her feet uncomfortably warm, but that didn't matter to her. Not when the fireplace was crackling with each ember that would pop on the wood. Not when her mom was uncharacteristically making gingerbread men for her and her two other 'children' to decorate. Not when her dad was yelling at the television upstairs, at some football game that she didn't care to focus on. Not when Mark's mom, along with Lola's mom were gossiping over a glass of wine, as they sat on the floor of the living room in front of the television. Not when her fingers twirled along Lola's curls, her head in her lap and her feet sprawled across Mark's thighs. And especially not when her heart was so full of love, that it almost seemed impossible to ever be sad again.

It was Christmas Eve, and Anastasia was spending it just how she liked it. With her friends that were more like her family, warm, and cozy in her childhood home, as the clouds that covered the night sky opened up and allowed snowflakes to float delicately down to the ground. The windows of the living room gave her the perfect view of the weather outside, and she couldn't help but feel lucky. Her house, her family, her friends, her lover, everything. Especially for her ability of forgiveness.

Over the week that she's been home, she found herself texting the very girl that made her feel like her relationship was over. Alyssa had texted her through Instagram, at first it was an apology, claiming that she wasn't aware that her childhood best friend had a girlfriend, that she swore she didn't mean to overstep any boundaries during her visit, and that she wasn't sure why (or even if) Ethan was acting different. And, at first Anastasia was skeptical, as one should be when dealing with a girl that made you question your self worth. But after an hour long conversation with her mother, she decided to text back, and say that it was 'no big deal', even though it very much was.

She didn't want Alyssa to feel bad, despite how much she wanted to punch her the night of that party. Anastasia had a kind heart, that was full of forgiveness and tranquility that she couldn't help but engage in a conversation with the girl. She even found herself laughing at a couple of texts she had sent. It was safe to say that they were quickly becoming... friends. She followed her back on Instagram, and of course, did some stalking that was warranted in her mind; so she could find out just how close her and Ethan really were throughout their childhood, even though Lola and Sofia did some looking throughout Thanksgiving break.

Sure, she was hesitant at first, but she soon became close with her. Sharing embarrassing stories, or life experiences. Alyssa always seemed to question what Ethan was like, which seemed strange to Anastasia given the fact that they hadn't officially posted each other on their social medias, but she brushed it off. And as of right now, she was contempt with the status of her relationship with Alyssa, given that she had told her that she would be attending the University of Michigan through transfer. Something inside of Stassie churned as she read the text, but she thought nothing of it, and was happy for her friend. She hadn't told anyone but her mother about her friendship with Alyssa, and she didn't feel the need to.

"God, will you just settle on playing Polar Express and call it a day?" Mark complained, huffing in annoyance as Lola scrolled past various Christmas movies. "Why would you want to watch that when you have Elf right there?" she complained, lightly nudging Mark's thigh with her foot. Anastasia chuckled quietly at the couple, "Lo, just go ahead and pick Polar Express, you know it's tradition for us to watch it on Christmas Eve," she softly spoke, running her nails along Lola's scalp, just how she knew she liked. Her friend huffed, before playing the movie and laying her head on Stassie's thigh.

About twenty five minutes into the movie, the one the trio bonded over throughout their time in high school, Shan called out from the kitchen to let them know that the gingerbread cookies were ready to be decorated.

It was a sight that Anastasia had missed dearly– Lola and Mark's mothers wine drunk and giggling over stories of college their children told, with her own mother not far behind her friends, and she sipped on her second glass of wine of the night. The gingerbread men were looking awful, but none of that mattered. Not the them, at least. Shan walked over to her daughter who was leaned against the edge of the granite countertop, watching her friends with a smile on her face. "So I'm guessing you made up?" Shan questioned, leaning into her daughter. She smiled, knowing exactly who she was referring to. "Yeah we did," Stassie responded calmly, before reaching over to take her mom's wine glass to take a sip for herself.

A long sigh left Shan's lips, as she kissed the top of her daughter's head. "So when do I get to meet him?" She watched as Anastasia's eyes twinkled as her cheeks turned a faint pink, becoming bashful all of a sudden. "I don't know, momma–" "Well maybe over the weekend, when you aren't getting drunk, yes I do know about that," Shan chuckled, which caused Stassie to roll her eyes, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. "You guys can come up here? Have a nice dinner, let your father meet him," she trailed off, her arm squeezing around her shoulders. "Maybe so, but it is hockey season so we'll barely have any free time until April, if we make it that far." Anastasia shrugged, walking over to stand over Mark's chair. He scoffed at her words, "'If'? I'm telling the boys you don't have faith in us."

Lola pinched his side from her spot in his lap, "She never said that, and you know it," she scolded. "Well it was basically implied," he retorted, pecking Lola's lips sweetly, before he smeared frosting all over her cheek. Anastasia gasped, her hands coming up to cover the laughter that came out of her throat. "Mark Estapa be nice to Lo!" Carrie exclaimed between a fit of giggles, both scolding and finding amusement in her son's actions. Lola shot up out of Mark's lap, her jaw slack in shock as she wiped what she could of the icing off her cheek.

"You better hope you sleep with one eye open tonight, Estapa," Lola practically growled, before wiping her hand on his cheek, smearing the green sweetness all over his face. Anastasia just knew that his and Lola's skin would be stained green for their family portraits the three families did together tomorrow morning.

The three moms were quick to get up from the dining room table, despite their slightly tipsy state, to go grab as many towels that was necessary, laughing loudly at the couple who were now taking turns slapping frosting on one another. Anastasia was just about to be grateful that she wasn't involved in the fight, until Mark ducked out of the way, and Lola's hand came in contact with her forehead. "Oh my god, Stassie I'm so sorry," the curly haired girl giggled. She was in shock at first, but quickly acted, dipping her hand in the ceramic bowl filled with red icing, before she dragged her hand down the front of Lola's face in return.

It was like they were children, many Christmas Eves turning into some type of food fight between the three, back when they were all free of stress, anxiety, manipulation. Like feathers dancing freely in the wind, with no worries that the world around them held.

Anastasia hated how quickly her emotions could shift, one moment she was laughing as Lola smeared icing all over the top of her head, and the next she felt the all too familiar stinging of tears threatening to fall as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Clumps of icing we're stuck in her hair, and red and green food dye stained the skin of her cheek– physically and mentally, she felt like a mess. Her physical appearance didn't bother her as much, since that could be fixed with a few minutes under the running water of the shower. But her mental state, felt much more detrimental.

Self doubt was something she struggled with. As strange as it seemed, she always thought she was never smart enough, never pretty enough, never capable of love. It sounded out of the ordinary– having grown up with parents who were still together, their romantic gestures being flaunted in front of her since as far back as she could remember. And the constant love confessions that were murmured out of the blue, but the boy who her heart belonged to. From the outside, she should've feel this way. She had no right to feel so... doubtful about if he really loved her.

It was almost impossible for her to think in that way but she just couldn't help it. After spending her years in high school, watching from the sidelines as Lola got into a relationship and she didn't. It fucked with her, mentally. Maybe she wasn't capable of being loved. Maybe she didn't deserve it at all.  That's why Ethan just made her heart truly beat. For her, for him, their relationship. But the once quite voice in the back of her mind grew loud yet again.

But it was as if god himself knew she was on the verge of a mental breakdown, the vibration of her phone agains the countertop of the bathroom gained her attention. Her lips broke out into a love-sick grin, "There's you are baby, how are you– what the fuck happened?" He chuckled, his smile glinting in the light his screen provided. It was strange, hot just the sound of his voice made her shoulders drop. She scrunched her nose, "Mark started it, and Lola dragged me into the shit show, and," she trailed off, motioning to the splattering of icing that stained her t-shirt.

But Ethan couldn't help but think she looked adorable.

"Do a little spin for me, let me see the damage," he spoke out of amusement, his smile never faltering. It was like he knew he ceased the mental breakdown that his girl's was just about to experience. "Please tell me that hand print on your ass is from Lo," he sighed playfully. He didn't care if it was Mark, considering he was head over heels for the curly headed girl. Anastasia sighed, "I honestly don't know, it was all a blur to be honest," she giggled in response, continuing to talk to him even through the late hours of Christmas Eve.

It was as if she was an suspecting planet, just waiting to be hit by a flaming comet one day or another. But for now, she just relished in the way he made her feel, and let her doubts slowly simmer into nothingness in the back of her mind.

duke👑 sent a message!

umich's finest

duke👑
MARY CHRISTMAS MFS

mackie
It's merry

duke👑
I knew that

luke
MARRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

stassie🩷
so what i'm hearing is you wanna marry sofia...

luke
Not at all what I meant!

rutger
I love Mary!

rutger
Wait you don't wanna marry Sofia😨

luca
You don't even know a Mary...

rutger
Your point?

stassie🩷
merry christmas children🫶

rutger
Mommy wished me a merry Christmas 🤭

pretty boy <3
Watch it bro

rutger
Or what daddy🤭

lola🤍
jesus christ

luca
I'm appalled

duke👑
Mommy and daddy mode activated

stassie🩷
i have no words

mark🧸
Merry Christmas boys🫡

luke
No fair I'm the one who serves our country 😔

rutger
You can serve my country any time ;)

lola🤍
what does that even mean...

luca
Never question the actions of Rutger McGroaty

pretty boy <3
Oh, how I love the conversations that happen here

mark🧸
They're honestly disturbing

duke👑
All I wanted was to wish everyone a Merry Christmas 😔

stassie🩷
we know babe it's ok

rutger
Mommy😵‍💫😵‍💫

stassie🩷
leave me alone!!!!!!

mackie
L

luke
L

duke👑
L

luca
L

mark🧸
L

pretty boy <3
L

rutger
L

lola🤍
sigh...

stassie🩷
quite literally shaking my head

stassiegreen has posted!

Liked by edwards.73, lola.thompson, and others

stassiegreen merry christmas ya filthy animal

VIEW COMMENTS

dylanduke25 Anastasia, the quote "Merry Christmas ya filthy animal" comes from the move A Christmas Story.
|
stassiegreen i want a red rider bb gun!

lola.thompson suddenly i'm a filthy animal

sofia.commm have never wanted to be a filthy animal more in my entire life than i do rn

rutgermcgroaty Hey sassiness, is here at the Sass salon think that you could use a trim! DM us for more info
|
stassiegreen i don't even know what to say

luca.fantilli Best Christmas movie
|
markestapa Ya okay

edwards.73 ❤️
|
stassiegreen loverrrrrr

mackie.samo RACHEL!
|
stassiegreen CHANDLER!

nolan_moyle Does Ethan make you giggle?
|
edwards.73 Never bring this up ever again.

user1 she's so pretty

alyssabrown01 the best christmas present fr

Liked by stassiegreen

user2 i need her biblically
|
lola.thompson me too
|
sofia.commm me too

AUTHOR'S NOTE

this is such a fucking filled but a fun christmas chapter (minus stassie's self worth issues) for you guys!

and alyssa is... making a come back. oh no! what ever will we do?

this was rlly rushed and i'm so sorry but wp decided to delete what i had already written for no reason! #lovethatforme

i'm also rlly sorry i haven't been updating like usual, ive been rlly busy but i promise to resume my regular updates!

thank you all so much for 67k <3 means the world!

as always, don't forget to drink water, take ur meds, and masturbate 😘😘