⋯

October 3rd falls on a Friday, and the day is warm and bright. Incredibly fitting for whom the day celebrating. Probably one of the warmest, brightest people that Sulli's ever met. Not bright like the sun, but bright like a nightlight. Because everything else is so dark around it, and it shines anyway.

And because it's Friday, in place of a Club Lore meeting, they're instead going to have a party for Kelsey. He deserves it probably more than anyone, especially with this past week. Club Lore had spent the majority of nights in the library, either in pairs or by themselves, searching for any kind of information on Fae contracts.

Kells said that the tattoo probably represents some Fae family or faction, but they haven't been able to find any more information on who it could be. As kind as it is of them to do it, Sulli feels guilty, because it is their fault, whatever happened that night.

It's surreal to have to consider that folklore is real, even if Sulli believed it in some distant way, it didn't feel quite as real as it does now. It makes them doubt how many of those stories are true, and how many are made up - because it's like their friends said, folklore always stems from somewhere.

Every lie ever told, every story, has something behind it. Something so real and volatile, that it has to be wrapped in a web of words simply to be listened to.

"Sulli! Hold up!" They emerge from their thoughts, their steps pausing in the hall as they look back down the hallway. Madden is hurrying after them, shoving his case of paintbrushes in his bag as he jogs to a stop beside them on the street. "What's got you in a hurry?"

Sulli's smile turns sheepish, shaking their head, "Lost in thought, I guess."

"Over anything specifically?"

"Not really."

Madden raises his eyebrow, shouldering the bag. "Really? Cause last time you ran into a forest in the dark because you didn't want to think about other things." He huffed, "And we both know what those other things are."

Their face flushes, and they shake their head again. "No, really, this time I really was just getting lost in thought."

"If you say so." Madden shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets, "You heading over to Adelaide and Cassie's?"

"How'd you know?"

"Maybe you aren't the only detective around here." Madden winks at them, and despite themselves, Sulli feels the rise of heat in their cheeks, turning to swat them in the chest. Their friend laughs, the sound bubbly, as they duck from Sulli's reach. "I just figured you would so you can make sure your present for Kelsey works."

They sigh, "I'm just anxious about it, I've never really hung out with you all outside of campus. Except for at my apartment after you found me."

"You don't have anything to worry about. I think you're overthinking this, Sulls, which no offense - you tend to do a lot."

"Don't remind me." They grumbled, shaking their head, "Plus, I'm meeting Kells kids today too, 'cause they'll obviously be there. And Adelaide and Cassie have been to his house the most, so I figured they might be the best to confirm with."

"Well, what'd you get him?"

Sulli sighs, "It feels stupid the more I think about it." Madden only looks at them expectantly, as as much as they would like to pretend they aren't worried about it at all, they really could use a second opinion. "I got them a custom lavender candle, you can order them in specific shapes sometimes, and I got him wings 'cause he's always saying how he loves to fly. I thought an airplane would be weird, and wings feel more poetic. Then I got them an origami bouquet because he likes flowers I think." They shrug, "Tell me it's not the dumbest thing you've ever heard."

"It's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Sulli." Madden smiles, "I think that's a sweet gift, I'm sure Kelsey will like it."

"Yeah well - what'd you get him?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He grins, haughtily walking forward, "You'll have to wait just like everyone else."

"What! Madds, that isn't fair."

"It's not like I demanded you tell me!" He laughs, protesting as he shakes his head in mocking humor.

"You asked though."

"That doesn't mean you had to tell me." Madden looks back at them, smiling warmly as he reaches over and pats their head, "You'll find out soon enough." The two pull to a stop as they near the girl's shared dorm room.

"Dick," Sulli adds before raising their hand, knocking softly.

"Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"No." Sulli sighs, "I'm just pissed that you're right."

Madden laughs again, and a moment later the door swings open, and Cassie stares at them both for a moment. Sulli feels their sense of humor drop from their chest after seeing the look on her face, and Madden's smile soon fades too.

"Cass, what's wrong?"

Cassie hesitates, shaking her head slightly, "Adelaide, she - well, she's upset, and rightfully so." She steps out, closing the door behind her gently, standing outside with Sulli and Madden. Her gaze darts between them, her voice softening. "You know Rowan?"

That deep anxiety threads in the center of their heart at even the mention of the name, and beside them, Madden crosses his arms over his chest. "What happened." it's not a question, and it's the first time Madden has sounded so serious about something.

"Did he hurt her?" Sulli's voice comes out equally soft, and Cassie turns to look at them for a moment, tugging at the edges of her braided hair. Sulli's throat constricts, and weighted panic sits at the top of their thoughts. "Did he touch her?"

Beside them, Madden tenses slightly, and Cassie closes her eyes, rubbing her face. "I don't know exactly what happened, but Adelaide is crying-"

"Crying?" Sulli knows their voice comes out in a string of absolute disbelief, but Adelaide crying feels about as likely as Madden punching someone, and-

Oh.

Sulli looks back beside them, and it looks like that's exactly what Madden is about to do. Instead, he looks at them, and eyes that are usually bright and shallow now hold the promise of a treacherous storm. "Where's Rowan?"

"Well- It's after lunch, so he might be training where we fence-"

"Great." Madden turns on his heel then and begins walking once more. His hands are shoved back in his pockets. Sulli turns to Cassie, offering her an apologetic smile, and a squeeze for her hand, before hurrying after him as fast as they can manage without looking like a crazy person.

"Madden!" When he doesn't answer, Sulli groans silently, speeding up more to get beside him, "Madden, what are you going to do?"

"I haven't decided."

"You haven't decided?"

"No." Madden looks pissed. This is fair, because Sulli is honestly pretty pissed too, and whatever Madden is going to do, he isn't going to stop him unless they think it's going to make things so much worse. So Sulli falls silent, trailing behind them.

It doesn't take long at all for them to get there, and Madden doesn't waste any time in throwing open the door. Sulli had been right, Rowan was there practicing his steps and barely glanced up in time to see Madden grab him by the guard, and shove him into the wall, holding him off his feet.

They really don't remember Madden looking that big before, but then again, Madden's never really been angry like that before.

"Hey-"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Madds looks furious like he's about to knock the shit out of this guy, which is something that Sulli would pay to see, but he doesn't, still holding him against the wall.

"What- I-" There's a pause, Rowan's arms still up as if half-surrendering, "Is this about Adelaide?"

"Keep her name out of your goddamn mouth."

"Or what, you'll-"

"If you think I won't kill you, you're wrong." Madden sounds deadly serious, and it sends a shudder down Sulli's spine. It feels like the room has noticeably dropped in temperature, and while they'd like to blame it on some type of false hallucination, they're almost sure they can see their breath when they exhale. "I'll kill you, and stage your body in the forest like it's the Dublin Devil's, and no one will be the wiser."

Rowan is staring at Madden, almost blankly, and his hands are trembling slightly now, "I'll sue you for that threat-"

"Try it." His words are a threat, and everyone in the room knows it. "Because I swear to God if you ever even look at Adelaide again like she's some fucking trophy," Madden leans closer, and it feels like ice has begun coating the room, "I'll rip your tongue out with my bare fucking hands and make you choke on it." Madden's eyes are cold. "So don't even try to come near her, or any of our friends again, and I promise you that if you try to sue me for this, I'll make things a whole hell of a lot worse."

Madden drops him a moment later, then turns. He passes right by Sulli without another word, hands going right back to their pockets. Sulli turns on their heel, bypassing the heavy change of temperature the moment they step right back outside, and shaking their head. "Madden."

"Don't tell Adelaide."

"What?" Sulli pauses, setting a hand on their arm and stopping to stare at him. "What- why wouldn't you want me to tell Addy?"

He sighs, turning back to face them, and that deep anger seems subdued, at least for now. "Because she wants to be able to handle everything herself, and when she can't, and someone helps her, sometimes she ends up taking it out on herself for being weak or some bullshit like that." He pauses, "And I don't want her to do that, so, please don't tell her- don't tell any of them."

Oh.

Oh.

"You love her." Sulli's voice comes out softer than it should, but Madden hears it anyway. He's quiet again, then shrugs, looking up towards the sky.

"Yeah. Yeah, I love her."

"And she doesn't know that."

"And she won't." Madden looks back down. "I'm not going to tell her, and I'd really like it if you didn't either."

"But why-"

"Because she doesn't love me." Madden shrugs, "Not in the same way anyway, and I can live with that. At least for right now. Because as much as we all want to believe the people we love, love us back, especially in that way, sometimes they don't." He reaches up, running a hand through his hair before beginning to tie it back, "And It's not something she needs to worry about, especially right now. I love Club Lore more than nearly anything, Sulli, and you know what happens when people in the same friend group date."

Sulli presses their hands together, pulling at their fingers before nodding slightly. They can understand having that fear, of understanding unrequited love. "I won't tell her, Madden." It's the least they can do, for everything that he's done for them. 

He nods his thanks, and it's not long before they once again arrive at the girl's dorm, only to find Cassie and Adelaide waiting for them. Addy's eyes are red, and Sulli offers a small smile, tilting his head to meet her gaze before taking her hand.

Madden's smile is back, and it's easy. It doesn't even falter when Adelaide's eyes rise to meet his. "You look pretty."

"I always look pretty." Adelaide snaps back or rather, tries to snap back. Her voice is uncharacteristically soft, and her features wrinkle. It's clear she's trying not to cry again, but she's still staring at Madden. "Did you talk to him?"

"Does it matter?"

Adelaide shrugs then, before her head falls back to the ground, "Madden."

"Mm?"

"I" 'd like a hug, now, please."

Suddenly, Sulli feels like they are interrupting something, and Cassie must too because they share a glance and both decide to shift to the same side of the hallway, pretending to have their conversation about Kelsey's party. Sulli is well aware they're both ignoring the embrace that Madden pulls Adelaide into, but they both fall silent, eavesdropping when Madden asks what happened.

"He um- he just kept grabbing my hand, and trying to kiss my cheek, it wasn't the worst thing that could have happened but I-" She shakes her head, burying it into Madden's chest, "I don't know, it felt scary." She was quiet, "You didn't have to talk to him."

"Yeah, I did."

Adelaide doesn't answer for a moment, but it's pretty obvious she's glad someone did have a little talk with him, because she nods, "Okay." It's another quiet moment before she pulls back away, "We can go now- we don't wanna be late to the party."

"Are you sure you want to go Addy?" Cassie starts, "Kelsey will understand-"

"I want to go. I don't want to think about it, and time out of here might be nice."

Cassie relents, falling into step with Sulli as they begin walking together. Madden has a car, and without much discussion, both Cassie and Sulli decide they'll sit in the back, with the other two in the front. Kelsey's house isn't far, and the drive, while quiet, is beautiful. Deep greenery and autumn flowers decorate the landscape as they drive out of Cork.

Sulli's never been to Kelsey's house, and pulling up to it, it looks like something he would own. Not in a bad way, of course, it just sorta screams Kelsey. It's a two-story cottage on the cliffside, in the middle of pretty much nowhere. Tucked behind an array of trees, and surrounded by fall-bloomed flowers. It figures that it would be near the water, Kelsey loves the water. Madden steps out of the car, looking noticeably more relaxed, and Adelaide's features have shifted into something much lighter.

The door opens a moment later, and two giggling girls dart towards Cassie and Adelaide, squealing with effervescent joy.

Corrine and Saoirse.

Each of the girls is scooped up, one by Adelaide, and the other by Cassiopeia, before a bout of soft, childish laughter again encompasses the four. Sulli looks at Madden, only to realize he's staring at Adelaide with a deep kind of fondness. The kind that you only really get when you love someone. It hurts Sulli's heart to watch it because they want to scream for Adelaide to look, but they made a promise. One they intend on keeping, and Madden is right, at least today he is. Adelaide probably doesn't need a confession right now from one of her best friends.

Sulli shakes the thoughts away, watching the two girls with a small smile before following through the doorway. Kelsey is already inside, but brightens immediately, reaching over to hug Sulli, "I'm so glad you could come." He pulled back, laughing. "Well I'm glad all of you could come, but Sulli's never had a birthday party with us."

Sulli shared the smile, feeling that thick quilt of friendship enveloped their heart. "Thanks, Kells- speaking of which, what do you do at birthday parties?" He paused "Adult ones I mean."

Magnus looks up, and grins, "Adult parties?"

Adelaide choked back a laugh, "Sulli, don't say it like that, you're just giving them more ammo."

"No no, we can show Sulli what an adult party is." Yaş's grin is near feral, and Sulli's face flushes suddenly at the implication they just made.

"Oh my God, that's not what I meant-" Embarrassment floods their cheeks, and they drop their face in their hands, scrubbing their cheeks, "I promise that is not what I mean."

Behind him, Madden laughs, covering his mouth. "But it is what you said."

Magnus hums, "Yeah, you're good at Swordplay, right?" He glances at Madden and Madden's grin widens.

"How's your foreplay then, Sulli?"

"Madden." It's Adelaide, as a laugh explodes from her chest, and she has to turn to cover her mouth to avoid embarrassing Sulli further. It didn't really work.

Yaşru however, scoffs, looking back at Magnus, "Better than yours, probably."

There's a beat of silence, and Sulli watches as the room explodes into laughter. Kelsey grabbed his stomach, and bowed over it. Adelaide can't keep it in, because she's cackling, and even Julian is covering his mouth, holding in a deep-hearted chuckle. Magnus' cheeks color, and he scowls back at Yaşru before turning away from him, and lightening a little when he looks at his friends laughing around him. "You're all assholes."

Kelsey shrugs, waving away the laugh and patting his shoulder, "Well. We can't all be saints like you, Magnus." Yaş damn near choked on his drink, setting it aside to bury his laugh, which only earns a sharp glare from Magnus beside him. Kelsey grins, turning back to Sulli, "How's that for an adult party?"

"That is not what I meant and you all know it." Sulli shakes their head, fighting back the ascending realization that they have friends. Real ones.

Cassie waves them all off, patting Sulli's shoulder reassuringly. "Basically, we go out for drinks. Although, for Kelsey's, we just stay in most of the time and drink." She giggles, "And most of the time, we end up passing out and having a sleepover - especially if we're all too drunk to drive home." She humms, clearly delighted, "Sometimes we call cars, but for the most part, we just crash in the living room."

"What about the kids?"

"Oh! Nana always takes them out for the night." Cassie smiled warmly.

Sulli frowns, tilting their head, "Nana?"

"She's talking about Mebh." Kelsey turns, "My aunt."

Not his mom.

As if on cue, an older woman appears, passing Yaşru, but pausing and reaching up to pat his cheek, "Oh, it's so good of you to all come over every year." She turns to Magnus then, reaching up to ruffle his hair like he is some child, and to Sulli's surprise, he lets her.

Yaşru seems to visibly soften, and Magnus' smile turns genuine for a moment, leaving Sulli's heart thumping in their chest.

Cute.

Mebh looks at them after a moment, tilting her head, then smiling warmly, "Oh! You must be Sulli. Kelsey told me about you." She nods, pinching Sulli's cheek like a grandmother might and Sulli has to fight the urge to let such a maternal touch stick them straight in the heart. Mebh again turns away, going back to where Casse and Adelaide are holding Corrine and Saoirse, "Come on girls, it's time to go."

There are minute complaints, but after some warm words from Addy and Cass, the two relent, waving to each of the members before they're out the door with Mebh.

Kelsey just whips to face his friends after waving from the window, blowing kisses to his daughters. In another moment, his wild smile is back, "I'm ready to get so drunk tonight- so what does everyone want?"

Sulli blinks as the others relay their orders for drinks, and Kelsey slides behind the bar in the kitchen, grinning at them all. They can't help but think part of the reason Kelsey always drinks on his birthday is because he also likes showing off his skills as a bartender. Which, to be fair, are pretty impressive. There's only one real difficulty here.

I don't drink.

They really don't because of their parents, and they're not sure if they wanna figure out what kind of drunk they are. But they also don't want to be rude, and it's not like they don't ever want to drink. Distnantly, they know that the club would never make them do anything, but the more paranoid side of them insists that they might be mildly disappointed.

"Sulli? What did you want?"

Their head snaps back up, staring at Kelsey for a moment, "Um- well, I don't really drink." There's a far too silent pause, and they can feel the weight of each of their gazes. "Not that- I'm fine with everyone else drinking, I just would rather not because of-"

Madden sets a hand on their arm. "Sulls. You don't have to justify not wanting to do something. That's fine, no one cares if you do or don't drink." He paused, "Well, of course we care, but not like that, you know?"

Sulli feels a strange mix of relief and mild embarrassment rise into their chest. "Right, um, it's alright Kells, I'm fine with anything."

Kelsey pauses, thinking for a second, "Well, there's no reason a mixed drink has to be alcoholic, so I'll make you a mocktail, alright?"

"Thank you." Sulli hopes the warmth in their cheeks vanishes quickly, taking a seat at the kitchen bar.

Yaşru looks over at them, "Have you ever drank?" He doesn't sound rude, maybe a little skeptical, or disappointed, but not upset in the word.

Sulli glances down at Yaşru's own drink, before looking back at him and shrugging. "Maybe a little, but I don't drink most of the time because I don't feel safe enough to." They paused, "My dad was an angry drinker."

"Oh." Yaşru looks back at his drink, then downs it, setting it back on the counter to be refilled before looking back at Sulli. "Well, no one is going to hurt you here."

"You probably shouldn't be making that promise again, Yaş." Magnus snipes on the other side of Sulli as he takes his own seat, finishing his first drink.

"Watch it."

"Yeah? You gonna make me?"

Sulli feels weird being in between them, but fortunately, Julian steps in. "No one is starting a fight, It's Kelsey's birthday, if you can't have a civil conversation, don't fucking talk to each other."

Thank God.

Thinking on it, Sulli isn't really sure if their list of fears has changed. Maybe they have - but it could be that it now feels like none of Club Lore belongs on there. Maybe in moments, but not in complete honesty. Sulli doesn't think any of them would hurt them intentionally, even Yaşru and Magnus. As scary as they look, the number of times they could have hurt someone (including them) and didn't for being stupid, they didn't.

They glance up when Kelsey puts the drink in front of them. It's a pretty blue, glimmering with edible glitter. "Thank you." Sulli can still feel Yaş and Magnus glaring at each other above their head, so they take a sip of their drink, embracing the sweet and sour blueberry flavor that darts through it. "Are you both going to keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Yaşru snaps back down to them, half-glaring now, but Sulli only looks up at him.

"Staring into each other's eyes." They hum again, taking another drink. Not far behind them, there's a bubbly outburst of laughter, and they immediately clock it as Madden.

"That's a great point, Sulli- why don't you come over here before Yaş and Magnus decide to team up on you." He laughs again, and Sulli obliges, ducking from the reach of the both of them and gleefully ignoring the glares that are now drawn on them instead of each other.

So they drink, and God, if Sulli even pretended they weren't having a great time, they'd be the biggest liar in history.

It's not much later that they're swapping stories about each other, all sitting somewhere in the living room, and Sulli discovers drunk Yaş and Magnus are much more placid than they are usually, and it heals something deep inside their heart.

"You know, don't feel embarrassed, Magnus - plenty of people sing in the shower when they're drunk." Kelsey giggles, pulling their legs up to cross them on the couch.

"Some people sing in the shower when they aren't drunk." Adelaide's eyes glide towards Cassiopeia, who flushes slightly, waving her off.

"Cass does sing in the shower." Julian nods, adding absently, and Sulli's thoughts stall for a moment.

"Well, how would you know that?" Sulli asks it before they can even think about it, and while it might not have been the question everyone else had thought of directly, now everyone else turns to look at Julian and Cass.

"Are you guys dating?" Madden tilts his head again, setting aside his most recently finished drink.

"I-"

"No." Julian's response is firm, and it cuts off Cassie's. 

She falls silent at the response, just glancing away. It's only another moment before she shakes her head, voice noticeably softer, "..I guess not."

Oh.

Cassiopeia suddenly looks like she's going to cry, and Julian is staring at her. "Cassiopeia-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you Julian?" Magnus snaps, and that imbued anger is back, "Why the hell would you hook up with Cassie."

"Magnus-"

"It's not fine, so don't you dare say it is, Cass." He just scowled, "Fuck off, Julian. You pretend you're the most responsible and important and special, but you're just a fucking liar, and you'd turn your back on anyone for a nickel." He's standing now, braced to fight.

"Magnus." Cassie is there then, her hand on his chest. "Stop it. Seriously. Stop."

He scowls again, then turns on his heel, "I'm going outside." Then ducks past the others, who are now silently registering what just happened, before Julian grimaces, and quietly looks toward Sulli.

"You should go talk to him."

"What- I- I'm mad at you too, Julian-"

"And you can be, but if any of us go out there, we might end up provoking him more."

Sulli scrunches up their nose, glancing back towards the door. The most worrying part was that Magnus just gave up the fight, which feels like it should be addressed. So they get up, ignoring Julian, and instead taking Cassie's hand and silently pulling her outside after Magnus.

It's quiet out here, and glittering stars hang in crevices in the sky. Beside them, Cassie is quiet. Not her usual soft silence, no, this one is strange and unfamiliar, curling at the edges like a burned piece of paper. Sulli scans the sky, eyes rapidly crossing the sky before a grin forms on their face, and they raise their hand to the sky. "Look Cass, it's you."

She follows where they point before her eyes soften, and a smile breezes over her face again. "Yeah. My namesake."

"Yeah." Sulli drops their outstretched hand, "You know, you always remind me of stars anyway."

"I do?"

"Well, of course you do. As cliche as it sounds, you do light up the most in the dark, but It's in a different way than the moon, you know? Your energy is all fragmented, highlighted through multiple parts of you all the time." They blink, then smile, "I think it's just cause you want to love each of us equally, so we each get a part of your energy and love."

"Oh."

"But some stars are brighter you know," Sulli scans the sky again, before locating a star that looks a little bigger, "And I'm guessing that the energy for Julian is a little different."

Cassie is quiet again for a moment, "..I thought that he liked me."

Sulli echoes the second of silence, "..some people take a little longer to accept that kind of love, Cass. Some people need a lot of time to be ready for it, or to accept that they feel it." A warm breeze rushes through the cold air, cutting it in half as it hits Cassie and Sulli, "And you don't have to wait for them to be ready for it. There's lots of beautiful people out there, and if they refuse to give you that piece of them, then you can't wait forever for it."

Cassiopeia closes her eyes, and Sulli watches as tears begin slipping down her face. It hurts Sulli more than they thought it might, and tightness has wound in their chest, but they turn to her, cupping her face.

"This does not mean you're unworthy of being loved, Cassiopeia. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong, it just means that Julian isn't ready to be loved by you. And I won't sit here and promise you he will ever be, but I'm going to tell you that he does care about you. And I also believe that he knows more than anything, how worthy you are of being loved - because you love so much."

"I love you," Cassie whispers the words between tears, and her arms wound around Sulli, burying her head into their shoulder. It's strange because Sulli is much shorter than Cass is, but it's clear she needs to be held, and Sulli doesn't mind being that person when she's been that person for everyone else.

"I know Cass. I love you too."

She nods, holding them tighter for another moment before stepping backward and rubbing her eyes, "You should talk to Magnus too."

"You don't want to?"

"I think it'll make it worse for him if I cry in front of him." She laughed shakily, rubbing her eyes again, "I'll be okay."

Sulli isn't so sure, but they relent as she wishes, kissing her on the cheek before heading to the back of the house. Kelsey has a garden there, off the side before the house hangs over the cliffside of the shores. Magnus probably went there - he wouldn't have gone home, even if he was furious. They round the corner, through a pretty archway, and into a garden that feels a few degrees warmer than it should. Flowers are in bloom, hand-grown vegetables wait to be plucked, and Magnus is sitting on the stone bench in the middle of the walkway, knees to his chest as he looks up towards the moon.

Oh God, he's so pretty.

Sulli dismisses the thought, instead taking a seat next to him. Magnus immediately scowls. "Go away, Sulli."

"No thanks."

"What?" Magnus looks at them, eyes glittering with something like confusion.

"I don't want to go, Magnus." Sulli blinks back, watching Magnus' face shift. "What?" He's looking at them so weirdly. It's like he's never been told that before.

Oh.

He's never been told that before.

"I don't want to leave you, Mags." Sulli rephrases it, and now Magnus is staring at them with some unreadable expression. But they mean it. They don't want to leave him, and right now, it looks like that's what he needed to hear.

"You're scared of me."

Sulli recalls the moment Magnus said that to him on their first day too, but it's said in a much different way this time. A reminder almost to them, that Magnus is supposed to be scary. "Well." Sulli pulls their knees to their chest, tilting their head to look upwards towards the moon too, "It's true that you're still probably on my emotional fears list, but now, I don't think you'd hurt me intentionally - which is where a lot of my fear came from." They sigh, "And everyone I care about is on my emotional fear list, it's a product of my paranoia, probably."

"You care about me?"

"Magnus." Sulli looks back down towards him and smiles gently. "Of course, I care about you."

"I don't care about you."

"Liar." Because Sulli knows he cares about them. Sulli knows he cares about everyone in Club Lore, even Yaşru. Even if Magnus wants to pretend that he hates every single one of them.

Magnus scowls and the sight feels like a tsunami of relief because that means Magnus is alright. "If you tell anyone that, I'll kill you."

They laugh, "No you won't."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Yeah? Make me." It's supposed to be mocking, but suddenly Magnus is cupping their face, and Sulli feels lips on their own.

Oh.

Oh.

Magnus is kissing them, and Sulli's hands grip onto his shirt, pulling him closer. He's so warm. Unnaturally warm. And for the love of God, all Sulli can do is think to mutter into Magnus' mouth, "You're hot."

Magnus pulls back only a moment later, satisfied with leaving Sulli beyond breathless, and grins, "Yeah." He presses a soft, lingering kiss to Sulli's mouth again, then gets up and brushes himself off. "I know I am, Sulls."

And then Magnus is gone, leaving Sulli there, red-faced and out of breath, sitting in the middle of a cold garden. They're silent for a moment, before they drop their head into their hands, sucking in a deep breath.

Dear God, what the fuck just happened?

They don't know how long they sit out there before another voice, also entirely familiar, forces their head to snap up. "There you are."

Yaşru.

Sulli barely has time to glance up before he's right there, leaning over him and placing both hands on either side of them. "What are you doing out here?"

"I- I came to talk to Magnus."

"Right, except he came in like ten minutes ago."

"Right." It had already been ten minutes? Sulli blinked, feeling heat rush into their face out of embarrassment, glancing away from Yaşru again.

"Why won't you look at me?"

His voice is softer now, and Sulli feels the press of his thumb on his cheek, turning their head to look back at him. "I don't know."

Yes, you do.

Yaşru's eyes are sharp despite the alcohol, and he's so close to Sulli's face. Way too close, actually. "Sulli."

"Mhm?" It's all they can get out, feeling impossibly trapped and incredibly safe all at once.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

Oh, I'm going to hell for sure.

Sulli doesn't answer, they don't have the words at first, and Yasru is so fucking close. "Is that a no?"

"I don't- um- I just kissed Magnus-"

"I don't care. I asked if you wanted to kiss me."

Well. Sulli sure thought that was going to at least buy them a minute or two, and a strange mix of guilt and want settling in their stomach. Still, their arms thread up Yaşru's chest, wrapping around his neck as he leans over them. "Okay."

So Yaşru kisses them, and it's softer than Sulli thought it was going to be. He's much colder than Magnus is, and the chill is sweet and cool as Yaşru's hand cups the back of their neck, smoothing over any risk of overheating.

I'm going to die right here, yeah.

There's guilt too, the moment Yaşru pulls away because Sulli just kissed two of their friends within half an hour of each other. Their chest feels tight, and they manage to squeeze out the words, "You're drunk."

"Mm." He sets his head against Sulli's neck, and another kiss is planted at the edge of their shoulder. "Maybe a little." Then he pulls back again, staring directly at them. "But not enough to have no clue what I'm doing, Sulli." He stands a moment later, patting Sulli's cheek, "You better get inside soon, you'll get sick again, and I'm not planning on helping you."

And then Yaşru is gone too, and Sulli sits there for about twenty more minutes, wondering what in the absolute fuck just happened.

. . .

 Yaşru is back inside a moment later, eyes scanning around the room before they land on Magnus. He's nursing another drink, sipping it it rather slowly from where he sits at the bar, and Yaş is over there in a moment, grabbing him by the back of the shirt, and dragging him outside, on the opposite side of the garden.

"Hey- what the fuck is wrong with you, you want to fight now-"

Yaşru scowls, rolling his eyes and plants his mouth right on Magnus', which is honestly a pretty effective method of shutting him up. It works fine most of the time anyway, and it's preferable (sometimes) to punch him square in the face. He pulls back a moment later, keeping him pressed up against the wall.

Magnus is silent for a moment, and despite Yaşru's attempt to ignore how hot the tiefling is, it's getting more difficult the more he drinks. Mags grins then, "Well, what was that for?"

"You kissed Sulli too?"

"Yep. You got a problem with that?"

"Nope." Yaşru kisses him again, and it feels sweeter this time. Magnus laughs a little, the sound muffled against both of their mouths.

That sound.

Yaşru loves that sound.

───────────────

WYN

the ninth chapter

me writing 6000 words just for fan service (GIGGLING) - I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO MESS UP THE FLUIDITY OF THE SCENE

ANYWAYS! This is the longest single chapter I've written, which is kinda fun, but on a much more real note - I never write anything just for the plot, I hope you all know, which includes trauma or horrible things. 

I write it because sometimes, people gloss over how horrible humanity can be. I also write it because if there's one thing I hate more than "for the plot" trauma, it's having to have an opinion on a character that hasn't done anything. If I want you guys to sympathize with someone, I'm gonna give you opportunities too, so If I want you to hate a character, I need real consequences for what they've done

Anyway! I apologize if I unintentionally triggered someone with the first half of this chapter <3

I love you all dearly, and keep on shining lovebugs <3