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Sulli gets to class before Adelaide does. They're thankful for it - they came early cause they wanted to talk to her anyway. While they do want to find out why she lied about the club being exclusive, they also want to communicate why they were upset in the first place. Because to be completely honest, it wouldn't be fair of them to be upset over the fact that she wouldn't invite them to the club simply because they were her friend, that's nepotism. Of course, it did hurt to hear at the time, but it doesn't mean that Sulli is going to hold onto that feeling forever.

Grudges are exhausting to hold for so long, and there's no point in holding one that you initiated in the first place.

Besides, they've never really been the kind of person to hold grudges anyway. They feel a lot at the moment, and most of the time, they regret it because they took it personally - which is exactly what Sulli is trying to avoid.

Momentarily, they close their eyes, concocting the proper way to phrase their words. It's been a couple of days for them both, so it should come out much more controlled than it would have if they'd talked to her immediately after class. Not to mention, talking to Madden helped, because they know Addy didn't mean it like that, even if it felt that way.

Much like Adelaide had a couple of days before, Sulli set their bag on the chair adjacent to theirs. It was a nice gesture – at least it had felt nice to them just a couple of days ago, so maybe it would be nice for her too.

In a moment, it feels like Adelaide is suddenly next to them, hovering over the chair where their bag is. Hurriedly, and slightly startled, Sulli removes their bag from her seat, smiling sheepishly. "Hey, Addy." She's quiet for a moment but does sit calmly before setting her things aside and removing her textbook from its secure place in her bag.

"So, you talked to Madden."

"Mhm." Sulli nodded. They aren't surprised Madden told Adelaide, why wouldn't he? They're friends. There's no real point in lying anyway, it's a waste of time, and in the end, it's only going to make everything worse.

Lying always makes everything worse, doesn't it?

"And he told you Lore wasn't a private club." It's less of a question and more of a statement. Adelaide regarded them calmly, but her nose scrunched up again like she was fighting back a sneeze or resisting the urge to give into some habitual urge.

"He insinuated it, although you just confirmed it." Sulli nodded again, shoving the rising anxiety back down their throat. They could stay calm. As much as they hated debate or confrontation, this was a necessary conversation, especially if they didn't want their friendship with Adelaide to suffer. "I'm, I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings that I spoke to him about it, I was just upset, and I didn't say anything bad about you."

"I know you didn't, Sulli." For whatever reason, the nickname is soothing, and it reminds them that friends argue, and sometimes friends hurt each other's feelings, and it's not the end of the world unless you make it that way. There was a beat of silence, and Adelaide seemed to hesitate, then only turned back to retrieve her laptop.

"And uh, Addy. I wasn't upset about the fact that you didn't want me to be there." Sulli paused, "No well, I was upset about that, but I thought about it, and that's unfair of me. I honestly was a lot more upset about the fact that you tried so hard to hide it from me, and then lied about why I couldn't be there." Sulli's voice softens. They refuse to let their own emotion get the best of them because it is unfair of them to ask to be a part of every aspect of Adelaide's life, even if they would like to go to Club Lore. "I understand that you don't want to be around me all the time."

"Sulli, that's not what-" She huffs, and Sulli moves back a little. Adelaide is obviously frustrated about something, and even if it's not them, it certainly has something to do with what they asked of her. "It's not that I don't want you to be there. You're my friend."

You're my friend.

The thought ricochets in their head, but Sulli shakes their head again, "Well, sure, but you hid it from me for a reason, and I can respect that you have a reason to not want me there."

Adelaide seems to grow more irritated at that, but her features cool again, becoming that same calm and collected. But she is frustrated, Sulli knows that, and now they aren't completely sure if it does have to deal with them or not. "Why did you even talk to him about it?"

"What- Madden?"

"Yeah, Sulli. Why did you need to talk to Madden about it?"

"..He's my friend, and he asked me what was wrong." Sulli felt guilt thread down their throat, but they swallowed thickly, "Addy, It's not like I said anything horrible."

"You just had to figure out the private club thing, didn't you Sulli?"

"No- I don't know, he just sounded like he didn't know it was a private club. It's not like I asked him the question directly." They shook their head, "I just didn't know why you were so against me joining the club in the first place. I know you might not want to see me all the time, but I've just been looking for a hobby and I thought maybe-"

"Then find a different club There's plenty of other ones." She is angry. "You don't need to be in this one."

"I just want to know why you are so against me being there, I think that's fair of me to ask-"

"It's not that I don't want you there, it's that you can't be there, Sullivan!"

Oh.

Adelaide must have said the words louder than she meant to because more than a few other students have turned their attention to the argument between the two. It hurts a little more than they thought it was going to be called their full name, but it feels like the word was loaded with venom, thrown back in their face in a seeping pile of acid and fury. She didn't yell. Adelaide never yelled, but it was sharp enough to cut back into whatever response Sulli might of had a moment ago. It sends that same spiral of doubt crawling down their lungs, but Sulli replays the words.

You can't be there.

There's a reason for that. There's a reason for everything. And you don't get anywhere by just not asking, so that's exactly what Sulli does.

"I can't be there?" Sulli thanks heaven and earth that their voice comes out as even as it does, mirroring Adelaides. They don't want to push her, really, but at the same time, they want to know. Adelaide stares at them for a moment, almost blank in a way, as if she was restarting her whole consciousness to simply erase the words from the world. After a sickening moment of silence, she blinks cooly, then promptly ignores the question, and looks back to her textbook.

Fine. Sulli can take that for an answer. It's better this way anyway, they found out a piece of the puzzle, so all they need is a few more. Of course- this is the hardest part. After finding all the corner pieces, there are the middle ones. And while some of them are specific and unique, a great many more are generic and similar, which leaves you to strategize. For the moment, they aren't going to linger too much on the fact that Adelaide used their full name. It's strange with your chosen name being the short version of your old name - they are hesitant to call it a dead name because they don't hate the name, or anything like that - and their parents and step-siblings still use it too frequently for them to get upset about it every time. It's not like Adelaide could have known either, they never really talked about it, so it's not her fault. It's more or less the fact that it simply gets so exhausting correcting their parents and step-siblings, so they just stopped doing it. Eventually, they got so used to it, that it barely registers anymore unless it's a friend that uses it.

Class ends faster than it did yesterday, and Sulli feels strangely calm. This could be their hobby - figuring out what the fuck is going on with Club Lore. Cause it's certainly something. They can tolerate not being part of their club, but they're sure as hell gonna find out why they can't be there. A couple of days ago, they were hurt because they thought they understood, but now, they're anxious to simply understand. Sulli isn't a perfect person, they're human after all, so as much as they know this could end up very, very, bad, it could end up much worse to let the question sit in their mind and wander for a little too long.

"Adelaide." Sulli looks up as they gather their things, but Adelaide doesn't look at them, and guilt floods their senses after a second when they realize she's staring at a blank page of paper. She's upset. Not angry – upset. "Addy?" Sulli's voice falls softer, and they set their things back down by the chair, taking their seat once again to brush their fingers over her arm. "Are you alright?"

She still doesn't answer, but her body tenses up, and her eyes snap shut, "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to say that."

"Addy, it's okay-"

"It's not okay, because I know you, Sulli." She looks back at them, and although she does seem that same calm and collected Adelaide, she also looks scared. "Because you're not gonna give up till you find out what I meant."

There's something in her voice. Something so genuinely terrified, that it satiates some of that deep curiosity that's always sat in the center of Sulli's mind. "What did you mean?" Most of the class has filed out now, and despite the minute fear that Sulli might be late to Color Theory with Madden, they're a lot more interested in whatever is going on right here.

"I can't tell you that." She shakes her head again, but Sulli keeps their hand on her arm.

"Adelaide, that doesn't help." Sulli pauses, "I'm not a child, I'm twenty-two years old. Just because I might get upset with you, dramatically, I know, doesn't mean I'm going to hate you for whatever this is."

"You are a child actually- just a baby." Adelaide reaches over, patting their cheek in some sort of mock humor in an attempt to redirect the conversation, but Sulli rolls their eyes.

"Fine, maybe I'm a little childish, but so are you. You made me watch the Barbie Swan Lake movie with you."

"That is a cinematic masterpiece and you know it Sulli." That fear in her voice is gone, or at the very least it remains only in the undertones of her speech.

"I prefer the Nutcracker to be completely honest." Sulli offers a smile back at her, tilting their head to meet her eyes.

It's fine.

Sulli can let it go. It's upsetting Adelaide, and honestly, they can shove back their curiosity enough if it only is going to make her more and more upset. Her friendship means more to them than a club, even if it does hurt to know that for whatever reason, they aren't allowed to be there. They can get over it, even if it might eat away at them for a little while.

"What about a Christmas Carol?"

"Oh- I watched that one in America a lot with my step-sister. Although, I think her favorite is the one with the purple pegasus." Sulli smiles again, warm and genuine. It's a reminder to Adelaide that Sulli is her friend, and that means that they can respect her wishes to stop pushing so hard about the issue. They hope that she does tell them in time, and they might ask about it again, but above anything, they're her friend first and foremost.

The room is empty now, and it's by the grace of God that there isn't a class right after creative writing here. Adelaide sits back in her chair, sighing as she folds up her textbook and laptop. "To be entirely honest, I don't think I really heard a word of that lecture, Sulli." She's quiet again, before looking back at them. "You looked like I was going to hit you when I called you your full name, you wanna tell me something about that?"

Sulli shakes their head, "It's not a big deal. I'd rather you not call me that, but it is what it is."

"You don't have to do that you know, is that what you tell everyone who says it?" She sounds skeptical, shaking her head at their antics. "Is it your deadname?"

"I mean, It's difficult because my nickname became my chosen name, so I don't know - it feels weird asking people to stop using the full version, I guess."

"So you just don't?"

"More or less."

"Mm." Clearly, Addy disagrees with something they said, but it doesn't seem like she's up to starting another direct argument again, at least not with them, and instead zips up her bag. "..Sulli?"

"I can let it go, Addy." They laughed after a second of silence, "Well, I can certainly try anyway - but I won't let it affect our friendship so much. I just felt a little blindsided the other day."

"What if..what if I could get the rest of Club Lore to let you be in the club for the semester?" Adelaide's eyes are glittering, whirring with an idea. One that Sulli unfortunately does not have the privilege of knowing.

"For the semester?"

"Right, because you said you wanted to join the club because you want to make friends with similar interests, right?"

"Right."

"So what I could convince them that you can stay just until the semester is over? It could be good for both of us, I think. You would get company, and the opportunity to make friends, and it would satiate your curiosity." Adelaide looks hopeful for a moment, and a short smile curses across her soft features, "It could be good for the club too, to meet you and realize that you aren't all bad."

Sulli doesn't exactly know what all bad means, and they aren't completely sure what Adelaide is insinuating anyway, but it doesn't sound like the worst deal in the world. "Like a trial period?"

"Yeah, like a trial period, I guess." She shrugs, sitting up a little more, "But you have to promise that after December, when the new semester starts, you'll stop asking about it, and you won't come to the meetings anymore." Sulli wants to find the humor in her voice, the soft sarcasm, but there isn't any. Not even an ounce of hope that the club might want Sulli to stay. It does hurt a little, but it also isn't the worst deal in the entire world, and it's better than nothing.

Sulli wants to ask her what she meant by all bad, but it seems like it might just lead to another argument between them, and this was enough of an outreach as it was from Adelaide about something that obviously meant a lot to her. "I promise."

"And you won't even ask me questions regarding the club at all."

"I promise, Adalaide." Sulli means it. They do. "I trust you." Of course, they trust Adelaide, and they can trust the fact that whatever the reason she's hiding in the Club isn't something outright illegal and dangerous. If that was the case, Addy wouldn't even entertain the idea. She's never really given them a reason to not trust her, not really. They can get over the fact that she can't tell them why she lied about it. They're being given a chance, if all things go their way, and that's all they could really ask for.

Besides, there's nothing in the promise that says they can't grow on the other members of Club Lore, they already got Madden.

They'll let it go if they don't want them there, truly. No one wants to be in a place where they feel unwanted, so if they still despise them by the end of the semester, it'll be a welcome reprieve to leave the club behind without a single word.

Adelaide nods for another moment, thinking about her offer before holding out her hand to them, her smile widening. "It's a deal?"

Sulli grins right back, clasping her hand in their own, "Deal."

What's the worst that could happen?

───────────────

WYN

the second chapter is done . . .

for those of you who haven't been a part of my books! It's pretty common for me to update frequently for periods, and sometimes it's a lot faster than usual! I think my record is 5 chapters in one night (I blame my paranoia and an entire bottle of sparkling cider), so have no fear, I'm probably fine! It's also break, so I'll probably update a lot to cope with some family <3

I hope you loved the second chapter! let me know if you have any feedback! 

Also! I realized that my Google Docs sometimes changes pronouns randomly so please let me know if I unintentionally misgender someone in the chapters <3

mwah mwah, all my love for you <33 stay safe out there