⋯

Tendrils of white and opalescence stretched and twisted within pulling riptides, the glittering push and pull of the waves crashed against the carved stone. Gold runes engraved into stone pathways- as if the island itself was built by the mother ocean and the hands of architectural geniuses. Some form of a castle loomed over them, embedded with soft blues and greens, sparkling as they were hit by freshly torched sunlight. The sunrise was picturesque, frolicking from soul to soul to illuminate any dreary, dreading thoughts, and wash away cold feet.

Tenaloch.

Sulli had never seen the above-ground castle till this moment, their own heart swelling with the magic of it all. They probably wouldn't ever get used to it- magic. It was so new and exciting. There were so many questions squashed in their throat, desperate to claw their way out.

Another day, though. They could ask those questions another day. As long as they managed to stifle them for that long, that is.

The sound of the sea arched against sun-baked stones, promising a day of humid warmth. Sulli didn't mind the humidity so much- but they were sure some of their counterparts did. For now, the shore stood empty, with only the vast outlook of the forever ocean beyond them. They didn't sleep quite as well as they used to, but that was to be expected, still haunted by shadows of creatures unfathomable, and darkness hidden too deep. Sometimes their legs still ached, their chest burned with the weight of it all.

That's what happens with trauma, though, it sticks to you. You don't grow away from it, you grow around it. Things will always haunt you, you just have to let your courage be greater than your fear.

Sulli closed their eyes, listening to the sound of the waves at their feet, shuffling up the array of banks and ramps that surrounded the island. They could hear the soft flowing of the lacuna fountain behind them, a portal granted for the travel from the Feywild, directly to the castle. It was a protected portal of course, on the other side, only accessible to the royal family- which Kelsey would likely be very soon.

The thought made them smile, thoughts wandering down pleasant paths of memories of their friends instead. They would be arriving quickly here, that's why Sulli was down here by the shore to greet them. They'd offered to cover for Madden- who was busy traveling to the feywild to ensure his date arrived on time. Of course, this wasn't Kelsey's wedding, no that would be a beautiful event to attend though, but this was a royal wedding of itself. Chase Jansen had gotten his ass into gear and decided to propose.

And who else, would make a darling, perfect Queen, than Siobhan Burke?

There had been a backlash, but in all things there is backlash. You can never really please everyone, so there's no point in confining yourself to a minuscule box. Chase refused an arranged marriage, a tradition well-followed throughout generations, which naturally caused a riot in itself. Not to mention, Siobhan was from a Siren bloodline. How disgraceful; how demeaning.

Chase, quite simply, had declared in a royal decree that he couldn't give a flying fuck what people thought about it. He'd seen love win out in the end countless times, with a struggle, no doubt, but marrying for love in a kingdom where you want change is critical. There is no change without support, no challenge without sacrifice. Traditions are traditions, it's true, but they're also very old. And things – perspectives – change as the world does, so things must change with it.

Of course, this is all paraphrased, it had been quite the moving speech, and proposal on top of that. Madden had witnessed it in Tenaloch himself and sheepishly admitted that a tear or two were shed by many of the audience, himself included. It is possible that Chase and Siobhan were both crying too- there would be no way of knowing.

They're underwater after all, so really it's quite hard to tell.

Sulli sucked in another breath of that heavy, humid air. The reason they were here before everyone was because of their job. As the appointed human ambassador between the Feywild and the mortal plane, they maintained a responsibility as a communicator. All ambassadors were invited early.

Of course, it's more of an honorary title right now, because of college currently being in the way. Their responsibility as a human ambassador was only needed in the event of discussing dietary needs and accommodations for any human partners that would be attending the event, with approval from the marrying individuals, of course. Sulli had been vaguely surprised to see plenty of otherworldly individuals had human partners- which was ignorant of them, they admit, and they're incredibly thankful for the opportunity to create a better line of communication.

Their duties could extend beyond that eventually, but not for a while - till after college was over, and Sulli was well-adjusted after their traumatic experiences.

It wasn't the only reason they'd arrived early. Madden had suggested it, so that Sulli could better adjust to the environment they were placed in, to avoid something like Samhain. Even though their heart stung at the words, they'd agreed. It would be best that Sulli wasn't triggered by something either at the event, regarding Samhain, or any other fresh trauma for that matter.

Honestly, all Sulli heard was free vacation and they were in.

Of course, all the other stuff matters too, but staying at a beautiful island resort (see: castle) for a few days certainly wasn't going to do them more harm than good.

The winter had been long chased away now, although spikes of prominent memories and pain still frequented them often enough in the dark. It had been a welcome revival with the coming of Imbolc first, and now the arrival of Ostara, when the wedding was being held.

It was the first day today, and the celebration would stretch on through the entire holiday until the 22nd, with arrivals and departures staggered according to the will of the guests. The actual wedding itself was today, but the reception and celebration would long outlast only the daylight of this morning. It would be a welcome reprieve and a relief from the anxiety of the dark and cold nights they seem to remember too often still. In all reality, it'd be only three months since it all happened.

The thought sent spiraling anxiety down into their throat, forcing another steady, even breath to be drawn into Sulli's lungs.

"Hey-"

The sudden arrival sent them jumping, their leg jolting painfully against the stone paths back on the contact of landing "Jesus fucking Christ-" Sulli whipped around to face the sudden intruder of their thoughts, only to find Madden's hands raised in mock surrender, a sheepish smile twisting over his face.

"Sulls, hey - sorry, just me. You were staring off again, wondering what you were thinking about." He grinned, and Sulli felt themselves relax a fraction, waving it off.

"Just..thinking, you know."

"You okay?"

"Oh- yeah, no I'm good. Sometimes it just creeps up on me." Sulli shook their head, turning to greet Madden's companion, "Dom, It's good to see you again."

"Cause you missed me so much, right Sulli." Dominicus grinned, and Sulli managed to look deadpan at them.

"Oh yes, I missed you dearly- I see you didn't take my advice to bring Líadan instead." Dom frowned then, and Sulli only innocently smiled at him.

"Sulls, Lía isn't even into people first of all, and second, you know that would have taken way more work explaining half of this shit." Madden shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets, and Sulli sighed in response.

"It would have taken less energy and effort than sitting next to his ass the entire ceremony."

"Hey-"

Madden chuckled, shaking his head, "Okay- okay, enough bickering, you're getting more like Magnus every time I see you Sulli."

The thought made their chest warm, and their smile shifted. "Well. Someone has to be entertaining when he's too tired to." Especially now, so occupied with work and school and everything. It was a wonder that he hadn't burned himself out yet.

Dominicus, fortunately, didn't take much to heart and only rolled his eyes exasperatingly. "Sometimes it hurts, Sulli."

"Yeah, it hurts to look at you too- so let's call it even."

Before he could fire back a comment, or even scoff in offense, another, much more pleasant voice greeted them. "I thought I already told you I'd kick your ass if you talked to Sulli again?"

Warmth flooded their chest, like it always did upon Magnus' arrival, Yaşru not far behind. Madden shook his head, rubbing his forehead as Magnus and Dominicus engaged in a staring contest where the only real winner was no one since they all had to witness it. It was something that happened every time; without fail. Sulli attributes it to the need to piss someone off.

Yaşru, on the other hand, walked right between the silent feud, which sent Madden laughing under his breath, to kiss the top of Sulli's head. Cold hands were sharp in contrast to the tropical air, but they didn't really mind. It was a different kind of cold, the soothing kind. Like the kind of feeling you get when you jump into a pool on a hot summer day. Magnus was quick to follow, offering a kiss to Sulli's cheek instead, having given up on the meaningless staring contest (which Domincus pouted to Madden about; Madden only offered his arm and a whisper that seemed to make him smile). 

Sulli did think they were cute, and although they weren't dating, or close to that as of right now, it was nice to see someone make Madden smile after what he'd been through. They just also liked to give Dom a hard time, especially because of what Madden had been through.

"Did you enjoy your few days off? Without Magnus pestering you all the time?"

"I'll have you know, Sulli thinks I'm a goddamn delight, Yaş."

"Sure they do."

Magnus scowled at him, even if it held no real malice, before whipping to Sulli. "Didn't you miss me?" It was a characteristic response, and Sulli knows better. He's not asking if Sulli missed him - he's asking if Sulli missed him as much as he missed Sulli.

So they don't bother fighting the blooming smile across their face, snuggling up to a warmth that always seems to chase away the chill of lingering nightmares. "Of course I missed you." It's not a lie- Sulli doesn't lie, well- at least if they can help it. Julian's been saying they seem to be getting back those expressions that he'd gotten to know so well, which they count as a good sign. A healing one.

Magnus' arms wrap around them without much of a beat, despite the soft scoff under his breath. He pressed another warm kiss to Sulli's shoulder, before their cheek again. "I missed you too." the softened statement was quickly followed by a much more trademark one. "Yaşru has been a moaning manwhore since you've left-"

"Hey."

Sulli laughed again, hiding their face into Magnus' shoulder to stifle any amusement on their face. Which was rather difficult.

Yaş scoffed, "I'm the problem?? Really, you want a start a fight right outside a wedding venue-"

"Good Lord, do you two ever stop?" A different voice, as chiseled as the form it came in, sprouted from behind them. There was a bright, angelic laugh that accompanied it, warm as it had ever been.

Julian stepped over from the Lacuna fountain, allowing Cassiopeia the ability to shuffle her wings out before offering his arm. She took it, of course she did, with an affectionate smile. The connection between the two was short lived however, because she made eye contact with Sulli, and brightened like the summer solstice.

Her arm fled from Julian's, shoving past the bystanders and tackled Sulli right into a sisterly hug, one that felt like flower blossoms in early May. "Sulli! Oh, I've missed you so much!"

Echoed delight spread across their own features, bleeding warmth shrouding the darkness that had clung onto them since this morning. "Cassie, oh my God, I missed you so much-"

Softly, they heard the grumbling behind them. "Why didn't we get that kind of reaction? Or at least me?"

"Will you shut up-"

Sulli ignored the muted conversation, pulling back from the embrace only to grasp her arms "Oh- Siobhan has been waiting for you to get here, to help with her dress." Cassie beamed at the invitation, quickly nodding and Julian frowned.

"Am I just supposed to stand here..?"

Cassie answered him, of course she did, turning to him and nodding. "Why don't you talk to all the other girls Julian, you're so good at it."

Julian's face grew visibly red, and he scowled, but Cassiopeia only laughed- letting go of Sullli only to press a fond kiss onto her boyfriend's cheek. "You could find a chessboard if you're so bored, or talk to our friends, you're good at that."

"No one is as enchanting as you, Cassie."

"Crom Dubh, I'm going to throw up." Magnus grimaced, scooting noticeably away from the two, and earning a slap on the chest from Sulli.

"You don't ever talk like that to me."

"Dear Lord, am I going to have to start doing that now??" Magnus fake gagged when Cassie gave another sweet kiss to Julian, turning away and instead bracing himself against Yaşru's arm to pretend to vomit. Sulli rolled their eyes, noticing shimmering movement from the lacuna fountain once again. 

Kelsey was soon to make an appearance, holding Corinne in his arms, quickly followed by Orion holding Saorise, and Aunt Mebh not a moment later. It had been a difficult thing to explain to the girls about Adelaide. They'd left out most, if not all the details- at least until they were older, but Adelaide wouldn't be around anymore.

However, they had been delighted upon hearing that Sulli would be around instead. Corinne especially, Her smile brightened, arms outstretched to Sulli as they moved forward, taking her from Kelsey to hold her instead. Cheerily, she hugged them, with a giggle genuine enough to make scars vanish from sight clutching the morning atmosphere. Kelsey had asked them was was a comfortable term for them to be called since aunt or uncle really wouldn't fit. Funcle was an option for some time, but it still somehow spread unease in their chest- so just Sulli was fine.

They really liked being just Sulli.

Not a human, a hero, a harbinger.

Sulli.

It's very nice to be defined not as what you are, but who you are.

It'd taken them a long time to learn that lesson themselves.

"Okay, well." Cassie fluffed her wings out, before adjusting them to her back. She leaned over, kissing Saorise on the forehead, doing the same to Corrine, and then patting Sulli's cheek, "I'm off, I have to find Siobhan to help her get ready- I'll so you all there, no one be late."

Kelsey smiled, and Sulli clocked Orion's hand on his back, rubbing up and down. "I know you're all used to being late for the Lore meetings- thank God Sulli got you to get your acts together and show up, but this is something you can't be late for."

"We won't be Kells, don't worry." Madden smiled reassuringly, and Sulli elbowed Magnus when he opened his mouth to say something snarky no doubt. Not hard, but enough that Magnus grumbled instead and shifted away from Sulli. Not that it mattered, cause Yaşru was quick to fill the space, tugging Sulli back towards him instead. That cool sensation enveloped them from behind, and an affectionate kiss was placed on his shoulder. They briefly registered the scoff from a certain disgruntled tiefling, but it was giddily ignored, at least for the moment.

"Well, we can't just stand around." Madden took Domincus' hand, pulling him towards the doors of the castle. "We have a wedding to attend."

⋯

God.

It was beautiful.

Sulli wasn't surprised it was beautiful, of course it was. They'd seen it before too- when the room was empty of guests. Stunning centerpieces of living coral, imbued to the table - encased in a bubble of water held up by magical means. The ceiling was large and arching, and felt as if they were looking up into an aquarium, not the sky, with wisps of ocean pulling over glass panels, and half-translucent marine life floating above. The unique skylight crafted flicking patterns along the floor and walls of the room, refracting the softened lights. Layers of opalescent veils draped across the room, showcasing the twin aisles that led from opposite sides of the room. IT wasn't down the audience, as if in a human marriage, but both aisles laid in front, where the two counterparts would meet at the center.

Sulli was told it was a representation of a journey; it was a style of marriage common amongst many of the water-dwelling otherworldly races. It made them curious- surely there were plenty of things they needed to understand and research more about to be a proper ambassador. They'd have to request books from Orion's library this summer if they could.

Sulli had seen this room before, in all its glory before the arrival of the invited, but somehow now it felt so much more full. It felt alive; awake.

The thought made them smile.

It's good to be alive sometimes, isn't it?

Maybe not always. There will always be things that haunt you. Things that hunt you down like a predator. Things that make you want to rip your own throat out and carve your initials out of every stupid fucking problem you ran into and couldn't solve. There are plenty of things in this life that make soul and body ache for some sort of relief; for peace.

It's good to be alive.

It hasn't always been a thought in their head growing up. It was a hard bullet to bite down on, a hard pill to swallow. At some point, Sulli had accepted that maybe they would never be happy being alive, but they could learn to tolerate it. There were some points where Sulli no longer had the will to tolerate it or wanted to give up, but they never did. They thought about it a lot – no doubt. Thought about it during the process of figuring out they were intersex. Thought about it when some asshole broke their nose the first time. Thought about it in applying to colleges and considering moving abroad. Thought about it when they left their friends first. Thought about it when he was stalked and hunted and shot.

You end up thinking about death a lot when it's your only dream,

And then Sulli died. They'd felt it. It was peace, but it was also aching. Longing. Yearning. Death is a lot of things, and there's nothing that can quite describe it. They're not even sure if it was true death, because something- someone brought them back.

Alive.

That's the word they thought about when they woke up. When they looked at their friends. That's the word they heard. It'd been so blurry, so cold, so overwhelming all of a sudden. Alive. Alive. Alive.

What did it mean to be alive?

Sometimes Sulli feels like they still don't know.

But other times, other times they do know. They're sure of it, in fact.

Alive.

It's how they felt, coming to club lore for the first time. How they felt when Julian hugged them. How they felt when Magnus had run through the forest, desperate to find them. How they felt when Cassie gifted them those earrings. How they felt when Kelsey handed them the drink on his birthday. How they felt every time Madden gotta laugh out of them in art class. How they felt when Yaşru kissed them.

Alive.

It's how they feel seeing Siobhan and Chase step out, walking towards each other down the Aisle. It's sweet and symbolic, and emotion wrinkles their soul as Chase reaches for her hands, clasping them in his own. Sulli can't hear what he says, no one can, but Siobhan's features soften impossibly, and slowly, she nods. Reassurance. That's what it looks like.

Being alive is so wonderful. Not breathing, but being alive. Feeling, learning, knowing- living.

What a beautiful thing it is, to exist in a world that is alive too.

Sulli knows they're crying. They don't care. It's a reminder of exactly what they feel- what everyone should feel, in this moment. 

So very alive.

The wedding is beautiful, the setting is beautiful. The reception, the music, the dancing, the laughter, the decorations, the ceremony, the smell of the sea, the feeling of the sun, the warmth of stone paths, the smell of the flowers, everything. It's all beautiful.

Sometimes, life is just beautiful.

There are still plenty of monsters to face in the world. Real ones. They can come from anywhere, and you can't always see them coming. Sometimes they hide behind pretty faces and shallow morals. Sometimes they disguise themselves as someone safe and honest and true, only to turn on you. Sometimes they're exactly what you expect them to be, and sometimes they're not. Monsters are not condoned to one thing. There's no one thing that dictates someone as a monster, they aren't born that way. No one is born that way.

Judgment is easy. Assumptions are simple. All of it seems very stereotypical until there's an outlier.

Anyone can be a monster, it just depends which bed you look under.

───────────────

WYN

Thirty!

Ten minutes till New Year (for me)!

Okay, guys, that's it. that's the end of Lore.

I want to thank everyone who read this all the way through, and who chose to stick with me in my writing. I love you all for supporting me through this, and it's always a great feeling to finish something that took so long, but it's a lot more rewarding to celebrate it with your friends.

I would like to give a special thanks to Ender (marshmellow_arson) who despite not being on the main cast, was more consistent and responsive with reading and commenting than almost anyone- not that seeing all of your comments didn't brighten my day! I just understand that on side-casts, sometimes it's easy to feel left out. Ender got less screen time for their characters than a lot of others, but they were adamant about reading. You're my fav <3 I love you so much.

Of course, again, thank you to everyone who read, commented, and encouraged me. It's been an incredibly rough year for me, and writing Lore has given me so much joy, it's hard to give that up. However, I also know that part of the joy I got from writing lore, was from getting to write for all of you.

It's hard to write this, knowing it's ending. But that's why I loved it so much- I don't think you can love something so desperately, without knowing it will have an end. It's the same way about life. So I love you all too, desperately, until the end.

This is the end of this story, but not the end of ours. 

I love you all, and Happy New Year!