⟡ ݁₊ . 💒. 𝓛ET 𝓣HE 𝓛IGHT 𝓘N. . . ୨ৎ .ᐟ
( 001. ) ━━ ❛ a good kiss. ❜

if i can't have the one i love
i guess it's you that i'll be kissing
💌
𝓢LIM 𝓟ICKINS, sabrina carpenter.

𝓥IOLA 𝓗ARLOW walks through the entrance of the carnival with a vision of red, her eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed together firmly. her arms are crossed over her chest in annoyance, an action she knows will earn her concerned looks from nosy neighbours, but that she doesn't care about enough to stop. a few paces ahead, her mother walks calmly, a smile present on her face despite radiating palpable frustration that viola knows is directed right at her.

the town's annual summer carnival is in full swing, the sickly scent of cotton candy floating through the air while screaming children run around screaming as their exhausted parents chase after them. it's a festivity viola usually enjoys, but the overjoyed aura of the carnival right now in contrast to her foul mood just makes her want to stick her foot out and trip one of the kids sprinting past her.

viola sighs heavily, causing her mother to turn around and look at her.

"viola, you have to go," she says, her voice unyielding. evidently, she hasn't changed her mind.

"i can't," viola protests, repeating the sentence for what must be the hundredth time in the past hour. she's said it so many times today that she doesn't even have to think about it — it's practically become a survival instinct. though despite her continued objections, viola's mom won't budge. there is absolutely no hope for her, and she has no idea what she's going to do. die, probably, but she'd honestly prefer that that having to go through the tortuous humiliation that will be tomorrow. the thought alone makes her stomach churn.

her mom gives her a pointed look, deciding to speak again before viola has the chance to complain, "you told ramona months ago that you'd attend," she reminds her. "and even though things are different between you and julian now, we are still friends with the laheys. it would be wrong if you didn't go," she adds.

viola resists the urge to scoff at her mother's naivety, deciding to keep her mouth shut and merely give her a quick nod. of course she wouldn't get it, would think that viola's just being dramatic about this, because she has absolutely no idea what happened between with julian.

"it'll be fine, sweetie," her mom goes on, and viola's urge to scoff only grows stronger. she nods once more, before turning away so that her mom can't see her face, and rolls her eyes. obviously she would think so, since she wasn't the one who was dumped in a sixteen-second phone call by her boyfriend of two years.

viola frowns, scrunching her nose in disgust at the memory. she's been doing a pretty good job of forgetting it ever happened, but at least now she's able to remember that day without tearing up. two weeks ago, right when it happened, any memory or mention of her ex-boyfriend would lead to her violently sobbing about him for a minimum of two hours, but now all viola feels when she thinks of him is anger. it's not that she's heartless, but it's pretty difficult to be heartbroken over a guy who is now unavailable, after all.

yeah, two weeks after their breakup, julian is unavailable. he must've downloaded about fifteen different dating apps the second he hung up the phone, because in viola's mind, there is genuinely no other plausible explanation as to how he has managed to go and find himself a new girlfriend that fast. unless of course, he wasn't entirely honest to her during the final few months of their relationship, but, well, viola doesn't really want to think about that possibility.

attending julian's eighteenth birthday party tomorrow would've been difficult enough as it is, but the prospect of having to see him all lovey-dovey with her replacement is too much for viola to handle. hence, all of her complaining and begging not to go, which evidently hasn't worked. she has absolutely no way of getting out of this.

"mom, you don't understand," viola says pleadingly, which causes her mother to visibly deflate. she looks positively exhausted from having to listen to her daughter complain for the past four hours, and while viola feels a little bad about it, she's too determined to be excused from this stupid party to stop. "i can't go. everyone's going to talk shit about me."

her mom rolls her eyes, clicking her tongue with annoyance.

"that's ridiculous, viola," she snaps. "nobody is going to—" she hesitates for a second. "... talk shit about you."

just as she says this, the two of them walk past a trio of middle-aged woman who have very obviously been staring at them and of course, talking shit. one of the women is quite literally lowering her hand from her friend's ear. viola gives her mom a look to say see? but all she receives is a dismissive shake of the head.

suddenly even more frustrated, viola breaks away from her mother and wanders off. she hears her mom call out her name, but she ignores it and continues walking, frowning as her gaze lands on the dodgems. it's filled with little kids squealing and giggling as their cars bump into each other, combined with anxious parents standing on the sidelines, probably fearful that someone's going to injure themselves.

but looking at the scene, all viola can think of is julian — much to her dismay. they came to the carnival together last year, spending all day going on rollercoasters, playing the dumb games everyone knows are rigged, and eating chocolate-covered strawberries. julian had even won her a giant pikachu stuffed animal, which now reminds viola that she should throw it out. it's been sitting in her closet ever since the breakup, but she should really get rid of it.

she'd been holding out false hope that they might have a shot at getting back together, until a couple of days ago when she may or make not have been stalking his instagram profile — and seen a photo of him and his new girlfriend.

it had been like a punch to the gut, causing viola to immediately get up from her bed and throw the stuffed toy into her closet just to get it out of her sight. she honestly feels the same way now from looking at the dodgems, so she averts her gaze and heads for the churro stand instead. it's one of the only things that doesn't have a memory with julian attached to it, so in her mind, it's a safe place to go without being bombarded with an unwanted wave of sadness or anger.

as she continues walking, viola can't help but be aggravated by how cheerful everybody seems. she supposes that the whole purpose of the carnival is for people to have a good time, but it feels unfair that she's miserable while everyone else is happy. it would be okay if she could be lonely in peace, but since she lives in a small town where everybody knows your business, that's out of the question. like she experienced only a few moments before, the whole town seems to know about her breakup with julian, and that she's wallowing while he's probably out frolicking in a tulip field with his new girl. it makes her sick.

viola wishes honey were here. it would make the day a whole lot less miserable if she and her best friend were hiding out behind the donut stand, gossiping while stuffing their faces like they always do. but honey decided not to come this year, and viola is now realizing she should've done the same.

cursing herself for her mistakes, viola finally reaches the churro stand. the man behind the counter immediately gives her a bright smile, which she reciprocates, despite not being in much of a smiley mood.

"what can i get for you today, miss?" he asks, and viola squints her eyes ever so slightly to read the board. she contemplates her options for a moment, before settling on something classic.

"cinammon and sugar, please," she tells him, and he nods approvingly.

"that'll be five dollars, miss," he says, and viola reaches into her pocket, luckily able to fish out a five dollar bill and hand it to him. he smiles down at her, before turning away and presumably getting started on her churros.

viola is about to get out her phone to scroll through instagram while she waits, but she's suddenly approached by a familiar face. it has her immediately resisting the urge to sigh, forcing her lips upwards into a smile as mrs murphy, one of her neighbors, comes up to her. she beams at viola, stopping only a few feet away.

it doesn't take a genius to spot the pity evident on mrs murphy's face, leading viola to believe that this is about to be a particularly painful conversation. she's had to deal with enough of that in the past two weeks, so now — the day before julian's birthday party — she doesn't really need any more.

"hi viola!" mrs murphy explains, her cheerful tone a stark contrast to how viola currently feels. "how are you doing my love?"

"i'm good, thank you," viola answers flatly, knowing that her neighbor doesn't actually care for her emotional state and is secretly more interested in finding out some more gossip regarding the town's, quote, 'most shocking breakup since the cheating scandal of '89', whatever that was. viola hears people talking about it all the time, but has never actually figured out exactly what went down in 1989 that had everyone spiraling.

"i heard about the breakup," mrs murphy then says. she pouts her lips in what is very obviously fake pity, before rubbing viola's arm in what must be an attempt to be comforting. "i'm so sorry, darling, that must be so hard for you." viola just shrugs, really not in the mood to talk about this any longer.

"i'm okay," she assures her neighbor, in hopes that it'll end the conversation. though of course, she's not going to stop until she gets all of the gossip she's looking for, so mrs murphy goes on, "i just can't believe he's already going out with kirby, so soon after the two of you ended it."

viola stiffens at the mention of the girl's name, but quickly shakes off the feeling. she'd never known julian's new girlfriend particularly well, but kira — better known as kirby — bryan had been in her world history class in senior year and they'd always gotten along. it made finding out she was julian's new girlfriend a whole lot harder remembering how nice kirby had always been to viola.

"i'm fine with it, really," she says. "i'm over it now."

it's a complete lie, and deep down, viola knows it. she is definitely not over julian, nor his betrayal. not only is she mourning her relationship with him, but also the two years they spent together that viola now feels were a complete waste of her time. she'd spent her entire senior year excited for all of the things they'd do together once they were done with high school, only to be dumped less than a month after graduation. their trip to new york city had very quickly been cancelled, leaving viola with nothing to do but be reminded of what she was supposed to be doing, before everything went to shit.

"oh, so you've found a new fella?" mrs murphy questions, raising an eyebrow. the pity on her face has faded into excited curiosity, likely at the fact that she's the first to find out such information. information that, obviously, isn't true.

but viola is just so unbeliveably sick and tired of constantly being asked about julian that she says, "yes."

immediately, she regrets her words, especially as mrs murphy's expression turns from curious to joyful, a beam breaking out on her face. she looks so pleased that viola almost expects her to literally jump for joy, but luckily the woman stays glued to the ground, instead showing her excitement through words, "oh, that's wonderful, viola!" she exclaims. "so... who is the lucky guy?"

viola presses together her lips to prevent them from twisting downwards into a frown. it doesn't yet occur to her how much this simple lie is going to affect the upcoming days, months, and even the rest of her life — so she keeps going.

"uhh," she starts, gazing around for anyone that could possibly save her in this situation, but there's nobody. it's only when she turns back to mrs murphy that, out of the corner of her eye, she spots a guy who appears to be around her age walk up to the churro stand. "him!" she finishes, before spinning around, grabbing the guy by the collar, and pressing her lips to his.

he freezes at first, and viola's mind whirls with doubt. she's gotten this all wrong, and she's going to look like a completely fool in front of her neighbor, and soon enough the whole town will know about it. she's about to pull away and admit defeat, when all of a sudden he starts to kiss back.

it starts off slow, his arm slowly snaking around her waist and pulling her closer to him. viola's hands find their way to the back of his neck, resting comfortably against the warmth of his skin as their lips move delicately in sync with one another.

this is a good kiss, viola muses as she dares to part her lips, and the guy's tongue slides into her mouth right as one of his hands drifts upwards to toy with a strand of her wavy hair. her face feels hot, and viola can't believe how much a simple kiss with a total stranger can have this much of an effect on her. gradually, her fingers slide up into his hair and she tugs lightly, causing a quiet sound to escape his lips, and he suddenly pulls away.

it's only now that viola opens her eyes, gaze landing on the guy before her. the guy she has just kissed in front of her very gossipy neighbor.

no.

no, no, no, no, no.

viola's mind goes completely blank when she cranes her neck upwards to look into the eyes of none other than matt sturniolo.

no!

but as much as she tries to convince herself it isn't, it most definitely is matt standing before her, his blue eyes glimmering in the sunlight and his lips still wet and a tad plump from their kiss. his expression showcases a mix of confusion and smugness — which is infuriating — as he looks down at her, never breaking their eye contact.

this might just be the worst day of her life.

matt sturniolo has been viola's next-door neighbor ever since she moved from nebraska to somerville when she was seven. while the two of them had never been enemies, they'd never quite been friends either, their lack of bond putting them somewhere strangely in between.

as a child, matt had been your typical boy who loved to tease the slightly younger girl any chance he could. he was never horrible to her, but viola had always found the way he was so charming to parents yet so snarky to her unbelievably annoying. he'd grown up to be just as annoyingly charming, and while viola doesn't necessarily hate matt, she just doesn't understand why everyone seems to like him so much. to her, he's always just been the boy next door, and nothing more than that.

his triplet brothers — chris and nick — were equally as bad as matt growing up, but for some reason they never managed to irritate viola as much as matt did. she spoke to chris occasionally in high school, since they were in the same chemistry class when he was a junior and she was a sophomore, and he was always super nice to her then. nick was the same when they were in yearbook club together, always kind and smiley whenever he saw her. it's only matt that she hasn't interacted with since they were kids.

well, not until now.

viola suddenly realizes the extent of how badly she's fucked up, mouth falling open as she glances between matt and mrs murphy. the latter has a large smile on her face, likely a mixture of delight and surprise at what she's just witnessed.

"your churros, miss," the churro man then says, appearing from the depths of the truck. viola accepts them, sputtering a quick 'thank you' before sprinting off in the opposite direction. she knows exactly how stupid she must look — running through the carnival with a full cone of churros after just assaulting her neighbor with her mouth barely a minute before — but she doesn't care. she just needs to get away from him, from here, and from everything that just happened.

when she'd walked into the carnival with her mother, viola believed that showing up alone to julian's eighteenth birthday party tomorrow would be the worst thing in the world. now, however, she realizes that still showing up alone despite having lied about being together with matt sturniolo of all people, is much worse.

💌 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆ ━━ ava speaks !

NEW FIC WE ARE SOOOO 🆙

if u think it's weird that adults are in viola's business then you've never lived in a gossipy small town cuz me personally i can't even tie my shoelaces without 15 people knowing abt it

"she could've just said she's not dating anyone new 🤓🤓" this is literally a fake dating fic what did u expect

anyway sorry i'm just sick of getting slandered on this app for choosing to take down MY fics but anyway haha... lol