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❛ ʟᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀ & ʟᴀᴄᴇ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴀsᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ
( ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. . . ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴀsᴋ ᴍᴇ
ᴛʜᴀᴛ ) ꒱


❝ WHAT DO YOU MOST
REGRET NOT SAYING TO
SOMEONE, AND WHY DID
YOU NOT SAY IT? ❞

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She vaguely heard the balcony door close as Juliet finished her call, but the sound of her mother's footsteps were what set her in motion. She quickly began to put everything away as her heart picked up speed, knowing that the older woman wouldn't be pleased to see her past aired out like this.

"Miya?" Juliet called out. Her footsteps came closer as she came to check the room; the girl's grip on some of the pictures slipped as she tried to straighten them and they fell on the bed. Her head jerked up in alarm as her mother came to stand at the doorway.

It only took a second for Juliet too take everything in: the open hatbox, the photos spread everywhere, her daughter wearing the leather jacket and. . . that damned ring box. Miya had never seen her mother go so white— with her dark hair and pale face, she could have passed for a Halloween specter. She stood frozen at the entrance to her bedroom with her lips slightly parted in a look of downright fear. One of her hands went to rest on the frame to steady herself as the scene sank in.

Instinctively, the Asian girl hid the photos behind her back, but there was too much incriminating evidence that she could even hope to escape this unscathed. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out: "mom, who's Shawn Hunter?"

If Juliet had been white before, it was nothing compared to the sheer terror in her expression now. She looked as if she were barely breathing; it was several long moments until she could bring herself to even speak. When she did, her voice was colder and shakier than Miya had ever heard it. "No one. We are so not talking about this— we're not talking about this ever. Put everything back exactly how you found it and we'll never mention this again." Her lips pressed into a thin line and she turned to leave, pausing to add: "you'll be over at Jonah's again tonight— that's what I wanted to tell you."

Then, the dark-haired woman closed the door behind her as if she could shut out the memory of seeing her daughter surrounded by all the things that had pained her.

The brunette sighed as followed her mother's. . . well, demand. She ate dinner at Jonah's almost every night; his mom— who was a nurse and had a much better excuse for being absent— hired one of the teens in the neighborhood to watch him and Juliet paid half of the fee so Miya could be there as well. Although Juliet did spend as much time with her daughter as she could, the nights permanently belonged to her mother. It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with her best friend— she did— she was just tired of her mom dating so many men that meant nothing to her; they always meant nothing.

🌎🌎🌎

"Hi Uncle Kendrick," Miya greeted her mom's friend as soon as she could get on the phone. "Who's Shawn Hunter?"

There was a brief pause before the black man replied, in a slight falsetto, "'hi, Uncle Kendrick. How are you? No, I'm not just calling because I need something— I really want to catch up, too. How was your week?' Would have been a very easy way to start this conversation,'" he teased her.

"Sorry," she apologized sheepishly. "How are you?"

"'Oh, that ship's sailed now, missy. How'd you find out about Shawn— or as I prefer to call him, 'the idiot who broke your mother's heart?'"

"So he and mom did date," the girl mused. "I kind of guessed that from the way he looked at her in the pictures."

"'Found your mom's polaroids, did you? Does she know you were looking through her things?'"

Miya smiled guiltily even though he couldn't see it. "Oh, yeah. I thought she'd ground me for life, but she's pretending like it never happened."

"'I think that's the best case scenario,'" Kendrick commented.

"Well, now that I know about Shawn, you can actually tell me what happened instead of just saying that mom likes to date around— which I already knew."

He grimaced. "'Here's the thing— I don't have a death wish. Don't you know the wrath your mother would bring down upon my head if she found I told you about everything she's tried to forget?'"

The girl's shoulders slumped. "So you still won't tell me anything?"

"'I didn't say that.'"

She brightened. "So you will tell me?"

"'I didn't say that, either.'" Her answering groan of frustration caused him to chuckle. "'Look, I know you just want to understand why your mom is the way she is, and maybe one day, Juliet will be ready to tell you everything— but I don't think that will be anytime soon.'"

Miya sighed, her curiosity piqued and still unsatisfied. "I hate feeling like there's this big secret hanging over our heads. I just want to know the truth."

"'Your mother has her reasons, Miya.'" He told her gently. "'She's been through a lot, and some memories are just too painful to share. It's not that she doesn't trust you or wants to keep you in the dark— I'm not even sure if she can face the past herself.'"

"I just want to help her, if she needs it. I wish she'd trust me enough to share things with me. I feel like there's so much I don't understand about her."

"'I know this isn't easy, but I think it's best to just be patient,'" Kendrick advised. "'So giving her some space would probably be a good idea. If you do find out anything else about that idiot, definitely don't bring it up to her; she can barely stand to hear his name, let alone answer any questions about him.'"

"Alright," she agreed reluctantly. "But can you at least give me a hint? Something to help me understand her a bit better? Maybe why I'm eating dinner and watching movies with Jonah instead of my mom?"

It was the black man's turn to sigh as he chose his words carefully. "'Your mom's relationship with that idiot was. . . complicated, to say the least. They took a long time to admit their feelings for each other, which I think affected their time together in the end— but that's all I'll say.'"

"Thanks, Uncle Kendrick," she said gratefully; it didn't really clear anything up, but it did explain some of Juliet's caginess. Knowing she wouldn't get anything else out of him, she changed the subject. "So, how was your week?"

She smiled at the warm laugh her question caused. "'Oh, now you ask about me. . .'"

🌎🌎🌎

Miya was patient for all of five months; she chalked up her incessant need for answers as a distraction from the fact that she had to go to school. It was already hard enough to make the transition from summer to fall and deal with the fact that she had to go to that place of torture every day; come November, her already barely-there willingness to get up on Mondays diminished until it was nonexistent. Her mom was lucky that she didn't have a room to herself and her bed was the pullout in the middle of the living room— Juliet's early-morning routine was noisy enough to prevent her from going back to sleep.

Still, she usually fought waking up for as long as she could, squeezing her eyes shut against the light and pulling her blankets over her head. Then, the older woman would come over to her bed and yank them off, though not without an apologetic look. Miya dragged her feet while she got ready, forcing her mom to prompt her far more than once to hurry up.

There were some days, however, when she had exactly zero motivation to even force herself into her daily schedule, and this most often happened at the beginning of the week. On this particular Monday, she was still laying in bed at seven-thirty (at least half an hour later than her usual time.) The rain that had been falling for the last few days hadn't let up and its pounding at their windows made her crave the comfort of staying in. Even Juliet didn't seem to be in her usual rush as she watched her eggs fry in the pan rather than running around to make her lunch while they cooked.

"Mom," the brunette called over to her. The dark-haired woman turned to show that she was listening. Not even bothering to sit up, she shifted her head to meet her mother's gaze and widened her eyes pleadingly. "I don't wanna go to school today."

Juliet sighed as she understood her daughter's reasoning. "We go through this every week. You know I'd love to keep you home, but I have to work and the queen herself would probably be after me if I kept a kid out of school." She said the last part jokingly, but she was quite serious.

"But you never let me. May I please skip school today— just one day? I promise I won't ask next week!"

Her mom released a drawn-out breath. "You and I both know that's a promise you won't keep."

The Asian girl curled up into a ball under her blankets and let out a pained grunt. "What if I groaned really loudly and pretended that I was sick?"

"I'd like to think that you wouldn't lie to your mother," Juliet said as she returned to her eggs and flipped them over with a spatula.

"Well, I'd like to think I wouldn't have to. You know how much I hate school, mom."

"I do," she agreed sympathetically. "But you ask every week. Trust me, it's already hard enough to say 'no' to you for most things, please don't make this any harder. You're going miss the bus if you don't get out of bed and unfortunately, it's not take-your-child-to-work day."

Miya let out a real groan this time and flopped her arms by her sides as she pulled her covers to her waist. She sat up sluggishly and spent a good couple of minutes rubbing her eyes as she tried to show her mom how tired she was. Juliet, however, knew her daughter's tactics and purposefully kept her back to her as she finished making their breakfasts (so she wouldn't be swayed to change her mind.) Then, she gave the first chiding of the morning: "hurry up, your eggs will get cold."

One of the Powers That Be must have been listening to her pleas, for at that moment, Juliet's cell and the house phone rang at the same time. Clearly confused, the dark-haired woman picked up her cell while Miya answered the other line. After saying 'hello' in unison and receiving the message, the girl's face broke into a beaming smile as she turned to her mother. "It's the school!"

"Power failure," her mother said with a bemused shake of her head. "Must've been all this rain."

"School is cancelled!" the brunette cheered as she hung up. " Now I have to stay home!"

Juliet grinned at her daughter's excitement. She went to her iPhone calendar and made a new event for the day, then she showed the younger girl her screen. In a completely deadpan tone, she remarked: "oh, look at that. I have a scheduled day off. Must be a coincidence."

Miya's expression became impossibly brighter and she threw her arms around her mom with a relieved laugh. 

🌎🌎🌎

After Juliet made the necessary calls to actually get her day off (as she rarely used any of her vacation time, so there weren't any problems getting it for today.) Miya had taken refuge in her room to give her some privacy while she was on the phone since she couldn't go outside to their balcony due to the rain. With her daughter's absence and the girl's bed still in disarray, an idea formed in her mind at the sight of the crumpled sheets. She thought that this was, perhaps, the most fun she'd had in several years as she transformed the living room into a massive fort.

The brunette had looked up from her laptop as Juliet had entered the bedroom several times, mostly to root through their Christmas decorations for lights. Her questions were all met with the mysterious answer of 'you'll see' and a mischievous grin. It was only when her mom yanked the pillows from behind her that she let out a protest of, "hey! What are you doing?"

"I need these— and technically, they're mine anyway."

"For what?"

The dark-haired woman shifted the pillows in her arms to take a few more. "I'm making improvements to your bed."

Miya looked up hopefully. "Am I finally getting my own room?"

"Sort of. Come see!"

Puzzled but excited, she followed her mother into the living room, where her mouth dropped open at the transformed space. What must've been every blanket they had was strung around the center of the room to create a cozy cave between them. The Christmas lights her mother had found were looped over the fort and inside of it to light up the dark space, which was made even darker by the gray clouds outside and the overhead lights being kept shut off. Juliet threw the last of the pillows onto the floor and turned to the girl with a anticipatory expression. "Do you like it?"

"I. . . can't believe it's real," she said slowly. She looked over at the older woman. "Can we spend all day in here?"

"Uh, duh!"

As they flopped on the cushions, Miya admired the area in awe, hardly able to believe how her luck had turned around: an hour ago, she'd been dreading English; now, she felt like a queen as she reclined against her throne of pillows. "I live here now!"

🌎🌎🌎

They played several rounds of cards before they decided that it was too hard to keep the flimsy pieces of paper flat on the uneven pillow surface. They turned to hand games and were currently in the middle of chicken, which the Asian girl was winning; Juliet kept getting nervous and took her hands away too early.

"Okay, okay," she said to hype herself up. "I'll do it right this time."

Even as she said this, her hands pulled away temporarily. She lingered too long once again and Miya quickly took advantage of this to slap the top of her hands. "Ah! How are you so good at this?"

The brunette grinned. "I have chicken for breakfast."

"Actually, we're having that for dinner," the older woman corrected her. But, her desire to always be right cost her— and the sting returned to her hands. She tucked her hands under her arms to protect them from her daughter's skills as they laughed.

She reached into the bowl of nearby marshmallows and picked one out. "Do you think I can catch this in my mouth?"

Miya made a face. "What if it falls on the floor? Then you've wasted a perfectly good marshmallow."

Juliet shrugged. "No I won't— I'll still eat it."

"Gross!"

She rolled her eyes at the girl's exclamation and tossed the marshmallow towards her mouth, careening sideways to try and catch it. It hit her face and tumbled into her lap as she crashed against the side of Miya's bed. True to her word, she picked up the fallen dessert and popped it into her mouth anyway. She handed them to the younger girl. "Here, why don't you throw them at me and I'll try to catch them that way. Your aim might be better than mine."

She only managed to catch one of the marshmallows that the brunette threw at her, the rest forming a fluffy white pile around her. Miya tried herself but wasn't much better, her attempts devolving into fits of giggles as she tried to keep herself upright.

"Okay, okay," Juliet said as they calmed down. "Let's do something else since we're clearly horrible at this. How about truth or dare?"

The younger girl made a face. "No thanks. Besides, what dares could we really do in here?"

"What about. . ." she thought for a moment. "Truth or truth?"

"That's just a conversation," Miya pointed out. She reached behind her to pick up a magazine, whose bright cover indicated that it was of the more lighthearted variety. She handed it to her mom. "Look in here and see if there are any quizzes that we can answer."

The dark-haired woman looked down at the cover to read aloud: "'find out everything about your BFF.' Sure! Let's do it." She turned to the page that was advertised on the front and read the introduction. "'She— or he— is your best friend, right?'"

"Right."

"'But how well do you really know them? Ask them these questions and find out. First question: describe your dream home.' That's not a question— that's a statement."

Miya ignored her mother's critique and gestured to the blankets draped around them. "This!"

Juliet grinned at her and approved emphatically, "definitely." A couple of questions later, she chuckled. "Heh, this is funny— do you know their natural hair color? You wouldn't have a few months ago."

"I still can't believe you're a redhead," she said with a shake of her head. "I feel like I've been lied to my whole life." In more ways than one, she added in her mind.

"I did love my red hair," the older woman commented wistfully. "I do kind of miss it sometimes."

"Why don't you go back to it?"

She sighed. "I. . . I dyed my hair when I wasn't in a good place. I guess I'm just. . . waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Although her answer didn't really make any sense since Miya still didn't know anything, she appreciated her mother's openness and decided not to push her this time. "What's the next question?"

Juliet cleared her throat. "Do you know what they're most afraid of? Jeez, getting a bit personal here."

"Well I think you already know mine," the girl replied. "Basically everything that has to do with school, but if I had to narrow it down— English and History."

"Reading and writing," her mom agreed. "Sorry, honey."

"It's okay. Learning Japanese has helped a bit, I think, and my handwriting's definitely improved since I was six. I really like playing the piano, though. The notes don't get mixed up the way letters do. What about you?"

Well, Juliet certainly wasn't going to tell her daughter her real fear since she was nowhere near ready for that, so she came up with one that would keep their conversation light: "um. . . you know when your mouth feels like it's been glued shut because you've had too much peanut butter? What if it gets stuck like that?"

Miya laughed at her mother's response. "Really? That's what you're afraid of?"

"Hey! It's a real fear. Why do you think I never eat peanut butter straight out of the jar? I always have to have something to drink nearby or I won't even eat it at all." Several more questions later, the topics began to get a little deeper as she read off the next one: "'What's your relationship with your mother like?'"

"That's easy," the brunette stated. "Nearly perfect."

"Nearly?" the dark-haired woman repeated incredulously. "Have I not just created the most amazing pillow fort for you?"

"You did," she allowed, "but. . . I wish I could eat dinner with you more often instead of with Jonah." And I wish you'd tell me what happened between you and Shawn Hunter.

Juliet's expression softened and she reached over to give her daughter's hand a squeeze. "Oh, darling. You've tried to tell me this before, haven't you?"

She was honestly surprised that her mother had even remembered, let alone paid attention to what she'd said. "Um. . . yeah."

"How about a compromise, then? You'll still have to go over to Jonah's, but we can have a family dinner at least once a week. Your happiness means everything to me, and I don't want you to feel like I'm not there for you. My mom— your grandma— wasn't there for me when I was growing up and I've tried to break the cycle as best I can. I made a promise to myself when I was younger that, if I did have any children, I'd be prepared to be an actual parent, not vanishing from existence because of work or something else. How's that?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she replied, "that sounds really nice, mom. I'll. . . I'll look forward to it."

"So," the older woman added teasingly, "does this change my rating?"

"The results will be in after the completion of my assessment," Miya replied with mock formality.

"Fair enough," Juliet allowed with a grin. "I guess that also answers the question for me— nowhere near perfect, but getting better. Once my dad came back, she started taking an active role in my life again. It was a big change, but eventually it turned out to be a good one."

"Yay," the brunette cheered, before she added: "I wish we could see grandma and grandpa more."

"Me too." She moved on to the next question. "Here's a doozy: 'what do you most regret not saying to someone, and why did you not say it?'" She shut the magazine with a firm snap. "Okay, I'm not enjoying this quiz anymore."

The girl frowned. "What? Why not?"

"I don't wanna answer this question."

Miya pouted slightly. "But we've answered all the others! Why won't you do this one?"

Juliet's lips pressed into a thin line— a look that Miya was growing to associate with whenever something that was related to her mom's past was brought up. "Because it's a quiz in a magazine and I don't have to answer a question if I don't want to."

"Okay, fine." She sat up to face the older woman. "You don't have to answer the question in the magazine."

"Thank you."

But, Miya wasn't done; she continued: "now it's me asking you the question." She ignored her mother's warning look and request of 'please don't.' Slowly, she repeated, "what do you most regret not saying to someone, and why did you not say it?"

The dark-haired woman could be just as stubborn as her daughter and she replied firmly, "I'm not gonna answer that question."

Tired of the woman's avoidance of the past, Miya couldn't help but push, "why not?"

Juliet sighed. "I think you know why."

"But everyone knows except for me," she said. She hesitated for a moment before she decided to throw caution to the wind— even if it would get her grounded for life. "Is it that. . . you were going to ask Shawn Hunter to marry you, but you never did? And. . . now you regret it?"

Her mother's eyes flashed and her features tightened angrily. She braced herself for the blow, but then Juliet slumped against the end of her daughter's bed, as if all the wind had been taken out of her sails. "Yes, but. . . it's not as simple as that." Admitting to her past was much easier when she didn't have to say the words herself.

"I didn't like keeping this from you, either, but it's really hard for me to think about, let alone talk about. I'll. . . tell you everything as long as you promise to never say his name aloud again," Juliet finally relented, knowing her daughter would only keep wondering— and even worse, try to contact him if she was curious enough.

"Deal," Miya agreed immediately. 

A/n: I waited a bit longer than I mentioned last chapter to publish this one since I wanted to update on my birthday— which is today! So even though I'm supposed to be the one getting a present, here's one for you (lol.)

In other news, I bet this wasn't the Andi Mack episode you were expecting :) It's probably my favorite one besides the last one since that one was such a milestone for Disney; as soon as I saw this episode I knew I wanted to include it (yes, even all those years ago— I've had some things for this book/series planned for a long time.) I am wary about including crossover episodes though since, imo, if there are too many of them in a row (like, every single chapter is from other sources besides (in this case) BMW), it no longer feels like a BMW book— it's just the characters saying incorrect quotes, which causes them to lose their characterization integrity. I'd much rather read a poorly written original chapter with the canon characters saying things that the author came up with themselves than a well-written copy of a show that's not even what the book is about. 

Now, don't get me wrong— one or two crossovers is perfectly fine, especially if they fit in well, but by the time you're getting to five or six chapters in a row that aren't even BMW episodes, that's when I start to doubt the originality/effort that the author is willing to put into the book. However, this is just my opinion, so please don't come at me, lol. But it is the reason why some of my chapters take so long to come out— I pride originality over copy-pasting lines that may or may not even fit in with what the character would say. (And in this case, I simply couldn't pass up the opportunity when it worked so well with my plot!)

And in other-other news, I just started playing the new cozy game, Palia. I was afraid it would be overrated, but it's 100% worth the hype! I love it so much and I've definitely spent more time playing it than writing recently. . . oops :) Do any of you guys know/play it? I have zero friends irl (that's not even a joke) and even if I did, they probably wouldn't have any interest in playing it, but it would be fun if we could play it together since it's an open MMO (whatever that means— I'm not great with the acronyms.) If you want, you can drop your username in the comments and I could try and find you the next time I play— I have the same name as I do on here (Caleigh— except I accidentally misspelled it while I was putting it in so it's actually Caeleigh 🤣.)