"Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time."

~ Ransom Riggs

"What h-happened?" Jonah panicked upon seeing Melaine and I burst through the front door.

"I'm gonna--" I exhaled deeply, covering my mouth as a wave of bile gathered in my mouth. "Fuck."

Breathe.

"Jonah, call Emily or Dan. Quick," Melaine ordered, supporting my body as we stumbled towards the guest bathroom.

My previous meal still climbing upwards. I started feeling cold, shivering, and wheezing. I dropped to my knees, ready to hurl my guts out into the toilet. Both hands clutched the seat, my head low. I felt like my stomach was flipping inside out. My heart hammering against my ribcage, worsening my nausea. Burning hot tears cascaded down my cheeks when I realized that I couldn't hold it in.

Fuck me.

The first torrent of vomit was the worst. My throat was on fire. The smell was making me gag even more. I couldn't even tell that Melaine was holding my hair back by the time I was done emptying the contents of my stomach. I felt pathetic. Disgusted by myself. It was awful.

I was guided to my feet, disoriented and dizzy. Cold water splashed against my face as Melaine helped me cleanse the revolting taste of puke from my mouth. My eyes kept opening and closing on their own accord, my body weight supported by multiple arms.

I was a mess.

Again my stomach lurched and gurgled. I tried to open my heavy eyelids halfway only for them to collapse.

Inhale. Exhale.

"Fuck, you're freezing." I felt the back of a hand flat against my forehead. I cracked open my eyes to watch Melaine rub my hands between hers, one after the other, producing friction. I hung my head low, slowly realizing I was in the kitchen.

"Jonah, bring something warm!" Melaine called out.

"Here." Emily appeared with a glass of water, raising it to my lips.

When did Emily get here?

I wet my lips slightly, fearing that I would throw up again if I took a proper sip. It was difficult to swallow spit let alone water. I watched Emily dig through the kitchen to find a lemon and a small stick of ginger. As she peeled, squeezed, and cut the ingredients, stirring them in a pot of water, her worried eyes met mine.

At that point, Jonah returned with my blanket, wrapping it around me.

"I feel like a worthless piece of shit," I groaned.

"Hey, this is what we do, okay? We take care of each other." Jonah tried to cheer me up with a charming smile.

"You're so goddamn strong, Ari," Emily added, handing me a lemon slice as Melaine cradled me.

Nibbling on the lemon, I sniffled, "I-I don't feel strong. I feel like I felt when..."

"Hey, listen. It's okay. Just don't think about it, okay? You're so strong, sissy. Stronger than you know. " Jonah grabbed my hand sincerely, leaning over the island. He hastily changed the topic, "Remember when we pranked Stacy with a box full of dead insects?"

I instantly felt my heart soften, a shaky chuckle escaping my lips, "How can I ever forget?"

"She cried for a whole week." Jonah snorted.

"We should do that again." I exhaled through a weak smile.

The abrupt ringing of a phone caught all of our attention. I immediately stiffened when Melaine rushed to the living room to answer the call.

"Let's get you washed up." Emily signaled for Jonah to help me up as she poured the tea into a mug.

I sighed, lifting the blanket as we climbed the stairs. With Jonah on my right and Emily on my left, we managed to reach my room. For a few moments, I just stood there, staring at Tobias' leather jacket which hung on my study chair. His unforgettable amber eyes burned to my memory. I wanted to know if he was alright. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to--

"I'll take it from here," Emily reassured Jonah, who was still standing in the doorway.

Jonah scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before pulling me into a tight embrace. Letting the blanket fall, I circled my arms around his neck, my head on his shoulder.

"I needed that." I breathed into his chest, feeling significantly better.

"I know." He kissed the side of my head before leaving me in Emily's care.

"Come on." Emily ushered me into the bathroom, "You can shower while your tea cools down."

"Okay." I followed her in.

"Dan and I got into an argument after the race, by the way," Emily blurted out while flicking the water tap of the bathtub open.

"What? Why?" I asked, frowning.

"Me. Him. The race. Mom. Leaving for uni." She listed.

"I'm sorry, Em." I leaned against the vanity.

She turned around, sitting on the edge of the tub, "No, it's okay. That's not why I told you. Don't apologize." 

I suddenly felt selfish, like I was the only one who had issues to deal with.

"Tell me. I want to be there for you." I demanded, forgetting my problems momentarily.

"Ariel, you aren't supposed to be consoling me right now." She frowned.

"I'm not on my death bed, Em. I can spare two seconds of my pathe--"

She cut me off with a glare, "I said a few things. Things I didn't mean. And so did he. I don't know one thing led to another and it just got really heated. He dropped me home and drove off. When Jonah called, I rushed over."

"Em, it's you and Dan. You always fight and make up. It'll be okay, I promise."

"I know it'll be okay, but I just regret saying the things I said," she whispered.

"Go, call him." I hugged her immediately.

"No, I can stay..." she mumbled.

"Em, I'll be fine. Go." I pushed her towards the door and she reluctantly left.

"Holler if you need anything." I heard her shout from outside.

"I will!" I replied.

I undressed slowly and stepped into the steaming pool of water, closing the tap. Neck-deep in water, my head rested against the cold ceramic rim of the bathtub. I propped my elbow on the edge, watching the tale of ripples and waves unfold. It was comforting, like a bedtime story or a lullaby. I let the steam cloud my thoughts, closing my eyes to relish the warmth of the water as it soothed my sore muscles. I was starting to feel normal again.

When my eyes snapped open, everything was red.

Blood red.

Breathe.

Out of nowhere, a shadowy figure advanced towards me, drenched in the dark-colored liquid. He yanked me underwater, drowning us in an infinite abyss. Suddenly, an immense gust of heat encircled us, igniting every fiber within my being. It was a blazing fire, its scalding fervor rippling harshly against my wet skin.

Fuck.

I was no longer in my bathroom, I was surrounded by darkness instead. But I wasn't alone. The figure was here, lying in the center of an inflamed pit, immersed in a fiery pool of blood which irrepressibly oozed from his ruptured flesh.

I knew him.

"Tobias." I gasped.

I gulped in disbelief, instantly turning away from him, unable to perceive him in such a distressing state. All too soon, a sizzling sensation stirred beneath my eyelids; teardrops began to form at the rims of my eyes. I was in utter denial of his flaccid and lifeless form. I couldn't accept such a fate. That was not how it was supposed to end.

Please, no.

My vision became indistinct.

Just breathe.

My legs began to tremble.

Breathe.

My lungs ceased to function.

Fucking breathe.

My heart lost the will to beat.

I can't. I can't. I can't.

"Ariel, look at me. I'm okay." His raspy voice echoed through the endless void.

I felt myself relax at the sound of his soothing voice and heartening words.

He continued, "Baby, I'm okay, please look at me."

Baby.

Without rationalizing, I turned on my heel to face him. I had to trust him. When our eyes finally connected after what felt like an excruciatingly long interval, the darkness of the blood which previously engulfed him had vanished.

Inhale.

He was alright.

Exhale.

He was alive.

Breathe.

I bolted towards him like lightning from the sky.

"You're okay," I choked out with quivering lips as I gathered his feeble torso into my arms, kneeling beside him as droplets escaped my watery eyes.

The combination of shock and gratitude which laced my tone was undoubtedly conspicuous. His bloodshot orbs gazed at me achingly. Suddenly his whole body, starting with his ends crawling upwards, began to wither away like ashes rising from flames.

"No, come back! Tobias, stay with me! Tobias!" I howled into the distance, my voice resonating with terror.

"Ariel." I heard a distorted whisper.

His figure began to evaporate little by little.

"Tobias, don't leave me," I whimpered as his face ultimately faded and turned to ash.

"Ariel." The unidentified voice became louder.

As I lay in a puddle of my throbbing tears, stunned by what I had just witnessed, a thunderous voice bellowed from beyond the blazing fire, "Ariel!"

"Ariel. Wake up!" The indistinct voice began calling out to me, the fire slowly extinguishing.

I began shaking violently as my eyes snapped open, my vision gradually adjusting to reveal Emily's plagued visage.

Emily. Bathroom. Me.

I was in my bathtub.

"Mel, get in here!" Emily yelled over her shoulder.

I wheezed unsteadily as the realization washed over me like a burst of untameable ocean waves. It was just a dreadful dream. I released an unsteady breath, glad that it had ceased, and quickly diverted my attention towards Emily.

"You're okay. Shh, just breathe," Emily purred, draping a towel around me.

She steadied me by placing my arm over her shoulders, guiding me into the room. I was dripping, my feet leaving prints on the wooden floor.

"Fuck," Melaine said under her breath as she grabbed my other arm.

I looked ahead blankly, my chest tight. Flashes of the nightmare and the car accident merging in my mind, distorting reality.

Melaine rubbed my back and asked, "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

My response was distant, "Not particularly."

Seated at the foot of my bed, I rubbed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Today had been mentally destructive. It revived parts of me I had buried long ago and I despised every second of it.

"I still f-feel nauseous," I choked out, feeling my stomach gurgle.

"Here, it'll help." Melaine was quick to respond, handing me my mug of tea.

I sipped the hot tea a few times but my stomach resisted. Steam rose from the mouth of the mug like a tornado, swirling around and creating hypnotic patterns. I watched the vapors, blowing on them every now and then before attempting to down a fraction of a sip. The aroma of the ginger and lemon was calming, like a sedative. Slowly but surely, I forgot all about my horrific nightmare, suppressing it deep within the folds of my mind.

"I love you two. I really do." I whispered, my gaze glued to the tea.

"We know," said Melaine.

"We love you too," Emily replied.

----

I hate puking.

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Love, Ari