𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡, 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝗜𝗩𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗦 nervous the whole time. Her leg was bouncing so hard, the whole fire truck shook. Carl had to put his hand on her knee to stop her anxious movements.

Ivy and Carl had come forward about them dating, and everyone was ecstatic. Everyone congratulated them and teased them about their young love. It was something wholesome in a world filled with unholy things.

Ivy was talkative with everyone. It was an anxious, yet exciting experience.

Maggie and Ivy held hands the whole way there. They couldn't possibly let go of each other, they felt way to much connection in the moment.

After a bit, the fire truck finally came to a stop.

Ivy felt her breathing heavy as everyone began to step out of the car. Carl dropped to his knees in front of Ivy.

"Hey, woah, what's wrong?" Carl grabbed onto her knees. Ivy felt tears swell up in her eyes. She blinked back the tears and grabbed her knife.

"This just doesn't feel real." Ivy whispered. "But I have to go. They're waiting for me." Ivy stood up and jumped out of the fire truck.

Carl stuck his head out the door and gave Ivy a kiss.

"Be safe. I'll be right here, waiting for you." Carl kissed her again and the group was in awe.

"And I'll come back." Ivy smiled. Ivy kissed Judiths head and began to walk away with the group.

"You need a gun?" Tara asked. Ivy shook her head no and held up her knife.

"It's not much, but I have all of you." Ivy laughed as the group continued walking. Ivy moved to the front of the group. She stabbed any walkers that came towards her.

As Ivy approached the gate, she saw figures coming out the door. Ivy began running towards the group. She slowed down when she saw everyone come out.

Rick came out first. His expression was unreadable. Next was Sasha, her face was the same as it has been. Then, Tyreese and Carol.

The two walked out of the way, revealing Daryl holding a blonde.

"Beth...?" Ivy breathed out. Ivy heard Maggie's cries and screams from behind her, but she didn't flinch.

"Get her out of here!" Ivy heard Rick yell before everything went silent.

"No. No!" Ivy dropped to her knees. Her knees scraped against the cement, leaving cuts and bruises.

Rick tried to grab the girl but she just hit him. Rick backed away from the girl.

Ivy let out the most gut-wrenching scream anyone has ever heard. Her scream echoed through the air.

Ivy sobbed like no one has ever heard before. She choked as she cried.

Ivy tried to stand up, but she couldn't. She fell right back to the ground. Her head rested on the ground as she sobbed. Ivy curled into the fetal position, not able to move.

Ivy sat there sobbing for another 5 minutes.

Rick had got his son from the fire truck. Carl was right by Ivy's side.

"Ivy, please. Get up. Please, beautiful." Carl shook her. "Ivy, we have to go. Ivy!"

Carl didn't get an answer, so he just picked Ivy up. He carried Ivy to the fire truck. When he stepped into the fire truck, he placed Ivy into his lap.

Carl waited for all the adults. He tried to talk to Ivy, but she didn't respond.

Ivy wasn't flatlining, or bleeding, but she was dying a slow and painful death. Watching everyone die around here was forcing her to die as well. It was a war inside of Ivy's mind every day, and she was slowly losing herself.

❝𝗪𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 not at what can be seen, but we look at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary..... but what cannot be seen is eternal." The words from the bible that Gabriel read off were engraved in Ivy's brain.

She hadn't spoke to anyone. She tried not to show emotion, but the second she found out they were having a burial for two, she lost it.

Tyreese was a great man. He was strong and would die for his family. And he did.

It had been a few days since then, and Ivy hadn't eaten anything or spoke to anyone. She couldn't look anyone in the eye, and she either walked in front of the group or fell behind.

Ivy had refused and denied all physical touch, even from Carl. She had physically ghosted everyone. Ivy was fading away and no one could do anything about it.

Ivy sat alone in the woods, isolated from the rest of the group. She distanced herself so no one could hear her cry.

She didn't care how deep she went into the woods, if she got lost, she got lost. If she lost her life, she wouldn't try to fight it.

Ivy's skin was soaked with tears and blood. Her heart was broken and shattered into a million pieces. She wasn't capable of feeling anything but sadness.

Her cries only increased by the minute. Her emotions didn't calm, or slow. They only got harder to manage.

Ivy hadn't experienced pain like this since her parents died.

Knowing she had no family left haunted her thoughts. It was almost like she had a parasite had been growing in her brain ever since she watched her parents died.

Ivy twirled her knife in her hand. Ivy ran the blade of the knife down her leg, but not hard enough to draw blood.

But, the blood was almost like a craving. Seeing the lines turn red was something Ivy needed. Or at least she thought she did.

Ivy pushed the blade harder into her skin as she slid it down her skin. Her skin was cut open, leaving a small bleeding wound on her lower thigh.

Ivy sighed in pleasure as she closed her eyes. She rested her head against the tree trunk behind her.

It felt good to Ivy. It felt good to be alone with her own thoughts.

But, the lovely feeling was cut short when Ivy felt a tap on her shoulder. Ivy held her knife up as she turned around.

She lowered it once she saw Sasha, Maggie, and Daryl standing there. Ivy dropped her arm by her side and looked to the adults.

All their eyes flickered to Ivy's cut and her bloodied knife. Ivy hid the knife behind her thigh and stomped her foot lightly, trying to draw the attention away from her wound.

"What happened to your—" Maggie was cut off by Ivy pushing past the adults. Ivy began to walk towards the road of rocks again, and the adults followed.

As Ivy's boots met the rocks, she could see the rest of the group sitting down. They all had saddened looks on their faces, but no one's could beat Ivys, Sashas, Maggies, or Daryls.

When Ivy got to the group, she didn't speak a word. She simply threw her bag onto the ground and sat as far away from the group as possible.

Ivy hid the cut from the group successfully for the rest of the day. She tied a piece of fabric around it, hoping they would think she just fell and cut herself.

The group had found another car, but just like all the others, ran out of gas.

The group was back to walking. It was dreadful, but this was life now. There was no longer happiness. There was just suffering. Life wasn't worth living anymore.

And we're back to square one,

Ivy Castillo didn't want to live.