𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗪𝗢, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀

𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 only thing that mattered to Ivy anymore. Being there for her loved ones was her main priority. Ivy adored being the shoulder that everyone could lean on. The person that everyone could trust. The person everyone could go to for anything. Ivy was adored by all.

When Ivy heard a car pulling into Hilltop, she was quick to run to the gate. Ivy smiled widely when she saw Aaron get out the car. Her smile faded when she saw Aaron began to cry. He held a note in his hand, which he quickly placed on the trunk of the car.

Ivy allowed Aaron to fall into her arms. The man wrapped his arms around her shoulders and he cried loudly. Ivy rubbed his back reassuringly. Talking wasn't what Aaron needed. He just needed a friend.

"T—The backseat." Aaron stammered out. Ivy nodded as she looked at the teary eyed man. She stepped towards the car and opened the door.

Ivy gasped and hand met her mouth. There sat Avalyn with a baby resting on her lap. "Hey, V." Avalyn greeted. "Please take her. She's fat." Ivy nodded and grabbed the baby from the car.

Maggie had made her way over to the group at this point and was quick to comfort Aaron. Maggie had even taken the baby, which Ivy now knew as Gracie.

Once Ivy was free of the baby, she dropped to her knees and hugged Ava. "Are you okay? Is Aaliyah and Lacey okay?" Ivy asked. Avalyn nodded vigorously. "Okay, okay. That's good."

Ivy sighed and rested her forehead onto Avalyns. "How about you to give Aaron a hug? He's sad right now— and he saved your tiny ass." Ivy told the girl.

"Okay." Avalyn nodded and began walking towards Aaron. Ivy smiled as Avalyn surprised the man with a hug.

Avalyn was the start of Ivy's past and future gracefully blurring together.

𝗜𝗩𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 dressed. It was the most simple things that got her excited. She loved matching her outfits. And, nowadays she didn't have a lot of clothing options so she got to make a whole lot of interesting outfits.

It had been a day since Aaron came back with Avalyn and Gracie. Avalyn loved The Hilltop already— and luckily, Maggie loved Avalyn.

The girl slipped on the charcoal grey shirt she had stolen from Carl— which she had cropped without him knowing. It was just slightly above the top of her pants, showing off the slightest bit of her stomach. Ivy slid on a pair of rubber ducky socks.

Ivy went to grab her pants, but was quickly stopped by someone entering her room. Ivy was very lucky to have ties to Maggie or else she wouldn't have gotten her own room in the Barrington house.

Enid stepped into Ivy's room and shot her a worried look. Ivy didn't even bothered covering her underwear. The amount of times those girls have seen each other close to naked, Enid shouldn't be scared by a little lace.

"Maggie brought The Saviors in." Enid breathed out as she sat on the bed. Ivy furrowed her eyebrows. "The only good thing about it is Gregory's in there, too."

Ivy pursued her lips in agreement and nodded. "I trust Maggie, I trust..." Enid sighed. Ivy pulled on her green cargo pants and buttoned them. "I trust her judgment. I just don't know how I feel about them living inside the walls. I guess it's okay because they're, like, locked in cage but..."

"I get it." Ivy agreed. Ivy placed her shoes on and tied them. "We should go see Aaron." Enid nodded and the two girls left the room.

Ivy and Enid ventured around looking for Aaron, which they found in Maggie's office. The two girls sat beside him as they listened to him talk. Enid sat in the chair beside him, and Ivy sat on the desk before them.

"I keep... forgetting he's gone." Aaron spoke, breaking the silence. Tears brimmed Ivy's eyes. "I have this... weight. There's moments when I— I think I'll see him, that I'll, uh... be able to talk about how I'm feeling with him."

"And my mind catches up, and I remember the pain is about knowing that it will never happen." Aaron concluded. Maggie bounced Gracie on her lap as she listened.

"I know that feeling." Maggie empathized.

"Me, too." Ivy injected, her voice breaking slightly. "It feels like... like you're stuck. Like you're sinking— o— or you're drowning. It hurts. It drains you physically and mentally. You get weak. You're heart gets weak, and you're body gets weak."

"Does it get easier?" Aaron asked the young girl. Soft sobs came from her, which she quickly controlled.

"Nah..." Ivy forced a laugh. "It just helps to do something about it."

Their conversation was cut short when Jesus stepped into the room. "How is he?" Maggie asked. Gregory got punched— or something. All Ivy knew was that she saw Gregory get hit.

"Gregory's fine." Jesus answered. "He's trying to suck up to the Saviors now." Ivy rolled her eyes due to the fact that she wasn't surprised. "I just wanted to say, I think you did the right thing. And I wanted to thank you."

"Don't." Maggie replied. Gracie began crying, and Maggie was quick to gently shush her. The woman stood up and began walking around her office with Gracie. "The Saviors in that pen might be bargaining chips. Maybe we'll have to trade them for some of our own people. They're alive 'cause we might need them."

Maggie turned to look at the long haired man. "Jesus, if we don't... we can't let them live." Maggie told him. Aaron quickly stood up and made his way out the door. Enid looked to Ivy, making Ivy nod. The two girls stood up and followed Aaron.

The two Rhee women ran to catch up to Aaron who was packing up his car. "Where are you going?" Enid asked as they finally caught up to him. Aaron sighed as she stood by the driver side door.

"To make sure we win." Aaron told the girls.

Ivy looked at over at Enid, and Enid nodded. "Let us come with you." Ivy put forth. Aaron sighed. "You're right. We need to win. So let us help."

"Grab your stuff." Aaron mumbled. Ivy gave the man a half smile. "And some food. We might be gone for a while."

Ivy looked over to Enid. "You grab our guns and knives and I'll grab the food." Enid instructed. "I think the jobs are pretty fitting."

"Really?" Ivy faked a high pitched voice. "I really think It'd be more appropriate if I went a grabbed cupcakes and candy and you go and grab the murder machines." Enid laughed before the two girls went their separate ways.

𝗔𝗔𝗥𝗢𝗡, 𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗗, 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗜𝗩𝗬 weren't far into their trip. Enid and Ivy had a rule. The first time the two girls had a disagreement about who gets the front and who gets the backseat, they played rock, paper, scissors to determine their seats for the rest of their lives.

Ivy sat cross-legged in the front seat, fingers pattering against her knees. The trio was on their way Oceanside, and they had a pretty solid plan.

"They have to talk to us, right?" Enid asked from the middle of the backseat. "After coming all this way?" She got no response from Aaron, so Ivy looked over which made Aaron snap out of his daydream.

"Sorry." Aaron apologized. His voice was so weak, and even though Ivy and Aaron weren't close, it still pained her to watch him slowly fall through the cracks. "I was just..."

"What?" Enid inquired.

"Uh," Aaron sighed. "Eric and I used to take trips like this... back when we were looking for people to bring to Alexandria." Aaron looked over at Ivy. "Like when we found your group."

Ivy let out a small laugh. "My god... That was so long ago." Ivy giggled. Enid laughed as well. "I was so sad when you found me. I had just lost my sister, Beth, and a close friend of mine. Everyone was slowly dying, and you and Eric saved us."

"He was always right there, where you are now." Aaron said to Ivy. The girl gave Aaron a weak smile. "I was just... remembering that."

"I'm sorry." Enid injected quietly. Ivy mimicked the girls words.

"I need to make sure he died for a reason." Aaron explained. Ivy frowned before Aaron looked back at Enid. "Tell me what you were saying?"

Enid snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the two people in the front seats. "I was, uh... I was just thinking about Oceanside. Wondering if they'll talk to us."

"I hope so." Aaron answered. "We got to try not to scare them. Tara said, that up until her, they killed on sight." Aaron took a breathe before continuing. "It's going to be a risk. We need to have them be a part of this. We just have to convince them. We have to."

Enid sighed. "We should've brought guns for them." Enid stated.

"We have to hold on to those guns." Aaron told the girl. Ivy stared out the window and picked at her fingers.

"I could give Cyndie mine." Enid put forth. Aaron shook his head no, giving the girl a sort of dad look— a lot like the one Glenn used to give Ivy.

"You're gonna need your gun, Enid." Aaron noted. Enid nodded and sighed.

"Right. I just want it to end before that." The girl mumbled. Ivy could barely even listen to the conversation. There was so many thoughts clouding her mind, distracting her from everything. Maybe it wasn't so smart of her to come on this trip.

"I do, too." Aaron voiced. Aaron looked over at the two girls. "Do you guys know how to drive?"

Enid shrugged. "A little. Not well, though." Enid laughed. Ivy let out a breathy laugh.

"I can. Not that well, either." Ivy answered. Aaron nodded. A huge smile crept onto the girls face. "I'm better than Carl, at least."

Aaron laughed before clearing his throat. "How is it with Carl, by the way?" Aaron asked. "I haven't seen you two with each other lately. I know you hate being without him." Ivy nodded weakly.

"Yeah..." Ivy trailed off and looked out the window. "He just worries me so much. He wants to help so bad, and he usually does..."

"But the day is gonna come when he doesn't." Enid finished with a sigh. Ivy nodded.

"Theres so much we haven't done yet, either." Ivy stated. Aaron and Enid nodded knowingly. "I want him to see Judith grow up. I want him to see what the world becomes, but... he's so careless with his life sometimes."

Ivy hesitated before speaking again. "I've been in his position one to many times." Ivy muttered. "But, when I was being careless with my life, I was hurting myself. And I don't know what I would do if I found out Carl was doing anything like that." Aaron went to speak, but Ivy was quick to speak again.

"Nah, he wouldn't..." Ivy sighed sadly. "If he saw my scars, he'd probably be disgusted."

Aaron whipped his head and Ivy's direction. "How could you even say that?" Aaron gasped. Ivy looked down at the ground. "Don't you ever think like that. You hear me?" Ivy nodded.

"I still feel disgusting." Ivy let out an awkward laugh as she looked up at Enid and Aaron. "I mean, everyone was dying— everyone is dying. I needed to get my mind off of it somehow. But, I still feel so gross."

"Fine, think like that." Enid shrugged before grabbing Ivy's hand. "But, Carl will never find you disgusting."

Aaron gripped the steering wheel as they turned. "Exactly. Carl loves you and everyone knows it." Aaron assured the girl. "And besides, now you guys both have scars that you aren't extremely proud of." Ivy furrowed her eyebrows. "His... eye."

"Oh!" Ivy nodded. Enid smiled at the girl. "Um, Aaron?" Aaron raised an eyebrow in question. "Can I drive?" Enids eyes widened in horror.

Enid looked around at Ivy and Aaron. "Uh, I— I— I don't think that's a good idea." Enid stammered. Ivy flipped the girl off before looking to Aaron.

"Sure..."

❝𝗢𝗛 𝗠𝗬 𝗚𝗢𝗗, I thought you said you could drive!" Aaron panicked as Ivy sped down the road. Enid was laughing in the backseat hysterically, making Ivy push the brake.

Enids head went flying into the back of the seat, making her wince. "Ow!" The girl groaned. "Did you really need to do that?"

Ivy whipped her head in Enids direction and nodded. "Yeah. Hell, yeah I did." Ivy answered. She looked to Aaron. "And you... you better stop criticizing my driving before I run this damn car off this fucking road."

"Yes, Ma'am." Aaron muttered. Ivy nodded and began driving again.

Ivy took a turn, which made the two confused. "Always criticizing my goddamn driving. Always saying I'm a bad driver when I'm the best driver in all of—" Ivy mumbles were cut off by Enid.

"Wait— where are you going?" Enid asked. "We're supposed to be going straight."

Ivy leaned forward in her seat and inspected her surroundings. "You wanted to give these people something? Then, will give 'em something." Ivy answered. Aaron let out a breathy laugh.

"You're right." Aaron laughed. "We can't show up empty-handed. Social graces." Ivy chuckled as they passed by a sign reading, "Roanoke way".

A few minutes later, Ivy pulled onto the side of a grassy road. She shut the engine off once she saw a truck pull up beside her. Aaron got out of the truck and the two girls got out of the car.

"This good?" Ivy inquired, looking around at the patchy area.

"I don't know." Aaron sighed. "It's as good a place as any." Ivy and Enid nodded.

𝗜𝗩𝗬 𝗧𝗢𝗬𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 gun, twirling it around with her hand. Her right foot rested against the dashboard as the trio sat in silence. Night had fallen upon them, and so had tiredness. But, not for Ivy. Something felt wrong. It felt like there was something going on. Something she was unaware of. Like maybe something at The Hilltop, or The Kingdom,

or Alexandria.

There was a whole sea of possibilities. Anything could happen. Good, or bad, anything. The feeling was driving Ivy insane. Not knowing if Alexandria was okay, if Judith was okay— if Carl was okay. If anyone didn't come back, Ivy wouldn't be able to live with herself. She would have two more holes in her heart— one for losing someone and one for not being there.

Ivy was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps outside the car. Enid got up from the backseat, and Aaron quickly put a finger up to stop her. He pointed towards a figure in the distance. Ivy held her gun tight, ready for anything.

Aaron slowly opened the door, trying not to make any noise. He held AK-47 up as the two girls got out the car. Ivy walked around the car and joined the two. Ivy, Enid, and Aaron looked around at their surroundings.

Ivy looked over at Aaron, and signaled her to follow Enid who was going the opposite way. Ivy and Enid nodded and walked around the other side. Ivy stepped in front of Enid when she heard a grunt. One of Ivy's number one rules was quite simple.

Never let Enid go first.

If someone was going to get shot, or stabbed the second they turn the corner, Ivy would much rather it be herself. If someone was coming straight at then, Ivy would push Enid down and sacrifice herself. There was not one thing Ivy wouldn't do for Enid, and that was clear.

Ivy held her gun up high as she turned the corner. "You shouldn't have come here." The familiar voice said. Ivy was quick to pull the trigger, no hesitation. Natania fell to the ground.

The girl lowered her gun with no reaction.

"Eleven."

Aaron and Enid looked at the girl with shocked looks on their faces. Three women came up all around the group, one spear pointed at each other the group.

"Drop it! Now!" A woman told Ivy. Ivy dropped the gun on the ground, and so did Enid. The woman looked to Aaron. "Get up. Slow." Aaron got up slowly, eyes glued on the two girls beside him.

"Grandma?" The group turned their gaze to the sound of Cyndie. She lowered herself besides the woman and started crying. "Grandma!" Cyndie turned her over and looked at the blood dripping down her grandmas face.

Ivy's ears were filled with the sobs of Cyndie, but her face, nor her emotions changed. She stayed the same— straight faced, and no sympathy.

Only one thought crossed her mind. One thing made her face go blank. But, not blank with the lack of emotion, or empathy. Blank with fear. She was scared of herself. Scared of what she was capable of. For a moment, she realized who she was somehow like.

Ivy was no better than Negan.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗗 𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘𝗡 and Ivy was still shook up. She didn't feel bad for killing Natania, she was just scared. Ivy was a cold-blooded killer. She didn't feel anymore. She was going numb. She was broken. Broken so bad that she couldn't be repaired. Almost like shattered into a million pieces. A million pieces of glass from a broken mirror. That's what Ivy was.

"We came here to ask for your help." Aaron spoke as they walked through a door. The girl had a makeshift leash attached to her waist. Ivy was being held on tightly by a woman. Being thrown around like a rag-doll with no feelings.

But, that's kind of what she was.

"Well, you shouldn't have." The woman replied. Aaron and Enid stood besides each other, looking worriedly at Ivy. Cyndies gaze burned into Ivy's face.

Another woman roughly grabbed Ivy by the rope and pulled her into the corner.

"Hey. Please." Aaron pleaded. Aaron and Enid were pulled down next to her, just more gentle. "Just... Please. Just... Let's talk about this." Ivy's hands was handcuffed to a radiator, so was Aaron's, and Enids was attached to Aaron's free hand.

The woman all looked at Cyndie. "Natania was your family. It's up to you, Cyndie." The woman told the girl. "All of it."

"We should just kill them." Little Rachel spoke.

"No." Ivy injected. Everyone turned their attention to the girl. "Aaron and Enid didn't do anything. Yeah, I killed Natania— and, I know she was your family b—but... I killed her to protect my family."

The women all sighed and walked out the door. The door creaked behind them as they closed it. Ivy ducked her head down. "If y'all die, that's—" Ivy let out a breathy laugh. "That's on me. I killed to save y'all, but that shit didn't matter because I'm gonna get you guys killed anyways!" The girl at this point was laughing hysterically.

Enid shook her head. "Ivy, it was no one's fault." Enid assured the girl. "Nothings gonna happen to us."

"We're gonna get out of this." Aaron agreed. Ivy's laughs turned into soft sobs. "V?"

Ivy looked up at the two with tear filled eyes. "If you guys die... that's blood on my hands!" The girl sobbed. "I— I can't take another funeral."

"I just killed Natania, and I'd do it again, but... I don't feel bad. I don't feel anything." Ivy explained, tears streaming down her face. "It felt right. To kill, at least. Seeing the blood... it made me feel something. Something good, and— and healing."

Enid and Aaron weren't scared, they just felt hurt. Hurt that this young girl had to lose herself and everyone around her. She lost to much. It was disturbing that this girl had no one.

"I'm a horrible person." Ivy frowned. Everyones attention snapped to the door creaking open. A woman with short hair stepped in with a spear. Ivy sighed, having a feeling this wasn't going to be good. A few more women piled in.

One girl unhooked the trios handcuffs. Aaron quickly got up, and the girls followed. Ivy stepped forward, hoping to protect her family in some way.

"Thank you." Aaron whispered. Ivy and Enids attention turned to the woman cuffing Aaron. The woman roughly grabbed Ivy and cuffed her as well, her also doing the same for Enid, just more gentle.

Ivy made eye contact with Cyndie, and she still didn't feel bad. She said she'd do anything for her family, everybody knew she wasn't one to lie.

"Take them to the beach." The short haired woman spoke. Ivy's eyes closed tightly, she was the reason her friends were going to be killed.

Aaron looked around panicked. "You're going to kill us?" Aaron asked. The man looked to Cyndie. "This is your decision. You own it."

"Cyndie." Enid injected. Cyndie looked over at the cuffed girl. "You better have a good reason for killing us other than thinking it'll make you feel better. Because it won't."

"Let's just get it over with." The short haired woman told Cyndie.

"Why would you kill us?" Enid asked. Ivy looked over at the girl. Enid was never one to raise her voice, so this was odd. "To punish us? I mean, don't you get it? Killing is the punishment. You execute us, then maybe some of ours will come looking for us. And maybe you'll take them out, but eventually enough of them will come back and they will wipe you—"

"Killing me would make you feel better." Ivy injected. "Your grandmother got herself killed, but I still did it. Kill me if it makes you feel better, or get justice. Don't get innocent blood on your hands."

Silence fell over the room. Enid and Aaron wanted to fight, but they knew she was going to sacrifice herself either way. Ivy was quite stubborn, and she never really took no for an answer.

"No. They live."

Ivy was relieved to hear her family was living, but she wasn't happy that Cyndie wasn't killing her. She was a monster, monsters don't deserve to live. That's why everyone wants to kill Negan. Negans a monster, and Ivy was just like him. A cold-blooded killer who couldn't feel anything but anger and rage.

The group was led outside. "If we win, do you even want to know?" Aaron asked.

"Yes." Cyndie answered.

"Then help us win." Aaron said. Ivy looked around at all the woman of Oceanside. They were just like the rest, trying to get by. And, Ivy still killed one of them like it was nothing— and she still felt nothing.

"We're helping you win by not killing you three." Cyndie explained. Ivy scoffed softly, only loud enough for her own ears. "That's our contribution to the cause. You've taken everything else we could give."

The small group had finally made it into the woods, and back to the small patch of empty grass. "Don't come here again." Cyndie ordered. Ivy turned around and stepped closer to Cyndie.

"Stop trying to kill strangers." Ivy stated. Cyndie stepped closer and got in the girls face. "We know who we have to kill. We know the difference between friends and enemies. You should, too." Ivy turned around and began walking away, before she faced the four women of Oceanside one last time.

Ivy let out a small laugh before speaking. "I only killed her to protect my family." Ivy stated. "Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same."

𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘
i don't think ivy's having anymore psychotic breaks... i think she just is psychotic...