- 23 -
The car pulls up to a quaint farmhouse nestled amidst rolling green hills. Jimin cranes his neck, peering out the window at the sight that unfolds before him. Unlike the towering structures and bustling streets of the city, the small villages on the way made them look like tight communities dotted with grazing sheep in the distance. In the afternoon sun, Jimin observed that most of the houses were traditionally built, providing families with just the space of a small garden.
A wave of nostalgia washes over Jimin as he steps out and closes the car door, the scent of earth and manure filling his lungs. The familiar view from the countryside has brought up memories of his family and his childhood. He misses his home. Somewhat, this feels already close to it.
"Jimin, welcome to our humble farm!" Dahee croaks in a raspy voice from crying. She musters a friendly smile, but Jimin can see how devastated she is by the incident at the hospital. "Make yourself at home here."
Jimin nods in understanding and looks over at Jeongguk, who has got out on the driver's side and is also giving him a worried look.
"Mum, have you closed the farm to visitors for the rest of the day?" Jeongguk asks as they walk up to the front door of the traditional house. Only then does Jimin notice the medium-sized sign beside the house, indicating a business. Curious, he tilts his head and thinks back to the conversation with Jeongguk. He doesn't remember Jeongguk saying anything about a berry farm, but that they had sheep and ducks.
His thoughts are interrupted by the creak of the front door and Dahee. He listens attentively as he swaps his dirty boots for a pair of slippers in the entrance hall.
"I've asked Hana and Sunhi to take over for a few hours and then close the farm early," Dahee assures them as she bustles through the floor, her face etched with worry lines. She leads them to the living room, her worn hands gesturing to them to follow.
Jeongguk, who has just entered the room behind Jimin, nods and leans casually against the door frame. His gaze flits across the room before settling on his mother. "Have the animals been fed yet?"
Dahee sighs heavily, her shoulders slumping as she settles into a chair at the coffee table. "I think the ducks should be fed soon," Dahee says, her voice strained. "The sheep need to be brought in later too, but..." she trails off, staring blankly into the distance.
Jeongguk replies in an even, deep voice, "I'm happy to take over, mum. Let me do it quickly." He rises from his position, his eyes filled with determination.
Dahee reaches out a hand to stop him. "Wait, Jeongguk," she says, gently. "It can wait a little longer. Let me make you something to eat first. You must be hungry."
Jeongguk hesitates, his concern for his mother is evident in his eyes.
"Mum, you don't have to—" Jeongguk begins to protest.
"I insist," Dahee interrupts, a faint smile gracing her lips. "Sit down." She taps her hand on the smooth surface of the beech table. "You both need a moment to rest."
It is obvious that Jeongguk is not content with this, but he immediately falls silent. Thus Dahee gets up and walks to the adjacent kitchen, where she gets something from the fridge and then turns to Jimin. "Jimin, I hope you like Tteokbokki."
He licks his lips with relish at the thought of the delicious dish. "In fact, it's one of my favourite dishes!"
Jimin smiles gratefully at her and draws closer to Jeongguk, who is lost in thought. He gently places one hand on his lower back and the other around his forearm, which is covered by his jumper. Jimin pouts on the inside.
During the meal, Jimin can't stop himself from occasionally casting worried glances at the man next to him. Jeongguk may have managed to shake off his fright, but Jimin doubts that Jeongguk has overcome it. He may just want to hide it, but Jimin can see right through him. Traces of horror flicker in his eyes during the meal. The nervous and unfocused glances he lets wander around make Jimin want to drop everything and concentrate on Jeongguk.
After they clear away their dishes, Jeongguk gets ready to go out, offering Jimin a look around outside since it's no longer raining.
"Put on some rubber boots if you go outside," Dahee's voice sounds from the kitchen, "I'm pretty sure it's muddy on the farm."
Jeongguk turns his head and calls out a deep, "Yes, mum!"
"If you like, you can have a look around the farm," Jeongguk suggests as they stand at the entrance again. Looking around, Jeongguk reaches for some rubber boots, tossing a black pair to Jimin. "These boots should be your size."
While he puts them on, Jeongguk addresses the previous topic. "You might even find the cat that my parents came across a few years ago. Her fur is black and white."
"Oh, how cool!" Jimin claps his hands together excitedly and bobs up and down on the balls of his feet before letting them drop thoughtfully. "I hope she likes me. I often had problems with cats when I was in red panda form."
"Nobody knows where she came from. She's always been friendly and shy when she doesn't know someone," Jeongguk shrugs and holds the door open for Jimin. "We always assumed that someone abandoned her when they moved."
As they walk around the house and enter the farm through the large wooden gate, Jimin pauses for a moment to take it all in. The tranquillity of the place settles over him like a warm blanket—or it might just be the sun coming out.
There is a greenhouse for picking strawberries, and on the left side, he can see some pens, which must be for the ducks. Jimin can't help but feel a sense of tranquillity and welcome as he admires the beauty of the small farm. "Be that as it may... how about a little tour before I get to work? It's been a while since I've been here."
"Yes, please," Jimin hums and trails behind Jeongguk, eyes locked on the broad expanse of his back when they stop by a small shed on the side of the house. Jeongguk pulls out a key and unlocks the door. "Let me head inside for a moment before we go check on the animals. I need to change into some work clothes."
Nodding, Jimin waits outside the shed and sees Jeongguk close the door behind him. A little later, Jeongguk emerges, a serene smile on his lips. The dark clothes are gone, replaced by a loose brown overall that hangs loosely on his frame and makes him appear in a different light. The contrast is so jarring it takes Jimin a beat to process the image. Jimin finds himself utterly captivated by the rugged transformation. He moves towards Jimin with ease, as if he has been doing it all his life, nothing that would indicate a life in the city and on the stage.
Jeongguk leads him along the pen with the ducks and through the berry plantation, showing him their little farm. Something about this, however, makes Jimin furrow his brows. "I thought you said your parents only have animals."
"Ah, I mentioned it somewhere around the time when we went to the beach, no?" Jeongguk asks thoughtfully and receives a nod of confirmation from Jimin. "Well, they started with animals, to be honest. Since they only have a limited amount of land and the soil is very precious, they decided to sell a few of their sheep and set up a berry plantation instead. As these are trendy and also attract more visitors, it gives them more income."
"I see," Jimin hums. He can't tear his eyes away from Jeongguk's overall, so he clears his throat, feeling the urge to change the subject. "Speaking of animals... is it, uh, normal to have snakes around here?" Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, telling him his question might be a little out of place. "I mean, I thought they weren't that common in this area." A hint of nervousness creeps into his voice.
"You're right. If there were snakes here, the visitors would be in danger and I'm also confused about how my father ended up in the hospital. But you can never completely rule it out. We're pretty much bordered by mountains here. They do exist, but rarely," he says angrily, tucking his hands into his dungarees.
Jimin bites his lip, torn between voicing his concern about Jeongguk's father and maintaining a lighthearted mood. "That makes sense," Jimin chooses to reply in a forced lightness, the knot of worry in his stomach twisting. "Well, hopefully, it's a rare occurrence, then. Like you said, you can't rule it out completely. Must have been a shock for your dad." He tries to steer the conversation away from the unsettling topic. "But hey, let's focus on the positive. You spoke to Hana and I'm really proud of that."
"Are you?"
"Of course I am!" Jimin enthusiastically speaks, happily grinning. Even if she hasn't forgiven you, she listened to you, didn't she? That's a start. Next time you see her, you could approach her again or, I don't know, make some kind of gesture to show her that she's important to you."
Jimin blinks and the corners of his mouth turn downwards as dark thoughts begin to flood his mind. The past he's been trying to bury constantly catches up with him and his vision blurs. His hands clench into fists, knuckles white as he turns his head away, a strangled sob escaping his throat. He swipes at his cheeks, hoping to erase the tears before Jeongguk notices.
Jeongguk's sudden presence throws him off guard. He stands directly in front of him, concern etched on his face, his voice gentle. "What's wrong?"
The question is too much to hear and causes Jimin to let out a shaky breath. He crumbles and buries his face in Jeongguk's chest, who has placed his hands on his lower back and pulled him close into a warm embrace. His breathing is uneven and only now does he realise how everything has pent-up as he clings to Jeongguk, crying.
"I'm such a coward," he mumbles with a trembling lip after a while. Jimin can no longer hold in the feelings that have built up around his chest like an iron chain. Tears stain Jeongguk's shirt, but Jimin doesn't care. "I'm such a coward."
Jimin clings tighter, the feeling of safety washing over him. He isn't by far the intimidated boy he used to be. He is opening up just like he did at the beach, letting someone in and it feels... good. Looking back at his past, he compares it to the feeling of being free and being himself. Trusting someone wouldn't always lead to disappointment and Jeongguk is the living evidence. He has already proven several times that he can, just like now, when warmth and understanding are radiating from the person holding him.
"What makes you say that?"
Jimin hiccups and wipes his nose. He leans back, head dropping to his chest when he tries to control his breathing. "R-remember the time we went to the beach and I talked about my ex-boyfriend?" He looks up, his eyes brimming with tears. Despite that, he sees nothing but genuine concern in Jeongguk's eyes.
"Seeing you with Hana makes me think of my brother. I miss him so much that it hurts. But I cut him off, as well as my family, after I started a relationship with Yunseo. I feel so ashamed that I broke off contact with them. I — I'm afraid that they will despise me and not want to see me anymore. I'd like to think that I was close with Myungdae, and I fear that it might not be like that anymore once I face him," Jimin utters in a raspy voice, struggling to contain a surge of emotions.
"I can see why you'd be worried and it's okay to feel scared. Cutting off your family was a big decision and it's natural to worry about how they'll react. Same as how I felt earlier. I felt down and you were there for me. Now it's my turn." Jeongguk encourages and touches Jimin's shoulder in a comforting gesture, pulling him back into his embrace. "Maybe when you feel ready or when we are back home, we can brainstorm ways to reach out to your brother. I'm here for you no matter what happens."
"Thank you, Jeongguk. Honestly, I never thought I'd open up this much to anyone after Yunseo. You always know how to make me feel better, even when I'm a total wreck. Maybe it's because you make me feel like I can be myself. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Hmm, it sounds like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You're incredibly brave for opening up like that. I'm glad to have you in my life and seeing you happy is worth more than anything else," Jeongguk says, the rest of the sentence fading as he lowers his head and mumbles into Jimin's hair. For a fleeting instant, Jimin senses Jeongguk planting a kiss on his head. However, just as quickly as it happened, it's gone, leaving him uncertain if it was real or a figment of his imagination.
Jimin nods, wiping his remaining tears. He feels lighter after crying it out. "I wouldn't have opened up if I didn't feel safe with you."
Jeongguk smiles, a crinkling at the corner of his eyes and he gives Jimin a playful nudge. "Aren't you curious about the sheep I mentioned earlier? There are some grazing on the green hill nearby. Do you want to check them out now?"
"Yes, why not..." he trails off, sighing dramatically. "Although..." Jimin adds, his gaze flickering down to his feet. "My legs suddenly feel like they're filled with lead. Jeonggukie, carry me! How about a piggyback ride?"
Jeongguk throws his head back in a hearty laugh, the sound echoing through the farm. "You-" he manages between chuckles, wiping a tear from his eye. "Did you really just ask me to give you a piggyback ride?"
Jimin's playful facade crumbles slightly, a blush creeping up his neck. "Jeongguk, please~" he whines, his voice stretched into a childish plea, making Jeongguk laugh in amusement.
"How can you be so cute?" he asks rather rhetorically, shaking his head. But Jimin doesn't have to wait long and Jeongguk turns his back to him. Bending slightly, he crouches down and gives him a sideways glance. "If the prince wants to be carried piggyback, then that's what he gets."
Jimin almost squeaks at his playful tone, making his stomach erupt with butterflies. Nonetheless, he can't stop his face from flushing in a deeper shade of red. Glad for the opportunity to hide it, he climbs on his back and throws his arms over his shoulder. Jeongguk lets out a surprised yelp as Jimin hoists himself up, his grip momentarily fumbling before tightening securely around Jimin's thighs. He lets out a startled squeal at the sudden squeeze, a delightful warmth spreading through him despite the playful pinch, causing him to cling on tighter.
Jimin lets out a muffled giggle, resting his chin on Jeongguk's shoulder. They continue laughing and chatting playfully until they reach the crest of the hill, where Jeongguk eventually sets him down. The sight of the fluffy white sheep grazing peacefully, leads Jimin to approach them and break out in a silly grin. When Jeongguk arrives at the fence, a few raise their heads and bleat. A sheep moves slowly towards them and allows them a glimpse of a small lamb that follows the sheep, albeit hesitantly.
"You have a lamb?" Jimin squeals lowly, afraid to scare the small thing.
"It wasn't that long ago that it was born. They've reduced the size of the flock of sheep because it involves work, but I'd say they're more than happy with the number, especially with the newborn," Jeongguk explains, squatting down like Jimin. He adds that Jimin can reach out his hand to pet the sheep. But he should always be cautious and careful, as they could bite. Jimin listens attentively and beams as Jeongguk holds a small apple in his hand out of nowhere and hands it to him. Jimin can't help but laugh when the sheep greedily sticks its head through the fence and almost grabs it.
He watches with excitement as the sheep eats the small apple and then looks at them as if there could be more to eat. Jeongguk then rummages in the pocket of his overalls and pulls out a small piece of carrot. "There's a bucket with some snacks in the shed, in case you're wondering where they come from. I grabbed a few earlier."
Jimin is about to reply when he notices a gentle tug on his shirt. Puzzled, he looks down to see the little lamb standing beside him, its big, curious brown eyes staring up at him. Jimin can't help but giggle.
"You're so cute," he whispers, extending a hand slowly towards the lamb. He waits patiently until the lamb nuzzles his palm with its wet nose. He carefully strokes the lamb's back, the soft wool tickling his fingers like a feather. The lamb lets out a contented little bleat, leaning into Jimin's touch. Contentment washes over him, its gentle bleats filling the air. In that moment, surrounded by the scenery and the animals, Jimin feels a sense of peace. He knows he'll cherish the memory forever, with the sun beginning to vanish behind the mountains and casting an orange glow across the sky. And perhaps a fresh start isn't so far-fetched.
"Thank you for bringing me here, Jeongguk."
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