CHAPTER THREE

[jealousy]

***

"Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive."

- Havelock Ellis

***

Asgard, One Week Later

Karnilla solemnly sat in the bedroom she had learned to call her own over the years. Frigga had seen to it that she was treated well after she took on the position of Kelda's tutor all those years ago. The sorceress would go as far as to say that they treated her as if she were family. Kelda was the sister she never had. Despite how much the blonde goddess was grateful for Karnilla's help, Kelda had given Karnilla more than she could ever hope or dream to have.

That was why the dark beauty was so conflicted over her own feelings.

How horrible was it for her to covet the affections of the man her best friend—her sister—was betrothed to?

She stared out the window, still perched on the golden, gilded bench that sat in front of it. Without realizing it, a scowl worked its way onto her lips, a product of her deep thought on the less than welcoming subject.

She felt pathetic. The golden couple would be wed within a few months and here she was mourning the loss of love from someone she never had and never will. Since when had she become such a depressed woman? There was a mass of other men in Asgard that would happily throw themselves at her feet, begging for a chance to win her over.

Her wild mane of curls that spilled over her shoulders and down her back like an ebony waterfall drew the gaze of many admirers. The violet hues of her eyes entrapped the men who gazed into them for too long. Her skin, flawless and a darker shade than the royals with whom she kept company, set her aside from them. Her differences made her mesmerizing to behold and she was not lacking in terms of suitors.

It was what made this entire situation all the more infuriating.

She fell in love with the one man who was completely off-limits to her, the crown prince.

It was not as if she meant to; it was not purposeful.

In reality, these feelings snuck up on her. Karnilla initially took Balder's kindness as just him being polite, cordial to the new guest that would be staying with them indefinitely. Yet, as Karnilla and Kelda grew closer, so did Karnilla and Balder. The friendliness turned to actual friendship and eventually, the sorceress began to see it as more.

Balder would confide in her. He would ask her for advice, counsel. He genuinely seemed to value her opinion and insight. Due to her unique childhood, being brought up in Nornheim with the three Norns, she had much to offer him in terms of guidance, especially governing other nations and realms.

However, that is all he saw her as, a good friend and valuable advisor.

Karnilla was snapped out of her thoughts as she sensed a presence in the room behind her.

"Why so melancholy, Karnilla?" a soft voice called out to her from the doorway.

Kelda stood in the threshold, a worried look plaguing her clear blue eyes.

The violet-eyed woman tried her best to wash free of the sadness, or at least let herself appear as if she had. Her lips quirked in the guise of a smile. "Oh, nothing," she said, brushing off her friend's concern. The worry in Kelda's gaze only made the ebony-haired woman fill with guilt. If the blonde goddess knew Karnilla's feelings toward her betrothed, concern would be the last thing on Kelda's mind. "I was just thinking about all the preparations to be made in the upcoming months. I am dreading the noise; you know how I like my peace and quiet."

Karnilla honestly found it alarming how easily the lies spilled from her lips.

Kelda's frown and furrowed eyebrows disappeared at her friend's reassurances. "Most definitely. It will not be the same around here." Karnilla perked in curiosity at Kelda's words. It almost seemed like she was also a bit... melancholy. However, the blonde goddess's appearance did nothing to disturb the illusion that she was anything but thrilled about her upcoming nuptials where she would cement her claim as the future Queen of Asgard.

"Oh, I almost forgot why I came here," Kelda exclaimed, capturing Karnilla's attention once more. The dark beauty was prone to get lost in her own thoughts. She was thankful for the interruption though. Her thoughts were not what she wished to dwell on at the moment. The blonde continued, "Sif caught up with me in the hall and asked if we could meet with her on the training grounds. Apparently, she needs some time away from the men. Would you join me?"

Karnilla smiled as if there had never been anything wrong in the first place. "Of course, Kelda."

***

Out of the three women in the training grounds, Kelda was the only one skillful in both traditional weapons training and with magic. However, when comparing herself with the other two women and their respective strengths, the blonde goddess did not stand a chance.

Kelda picked up her spear and dusted the dirt from her training clothes for the twelfth time since they started sparring. Sif was a legend amongst Asgardians with battle prowess that many envied, especially men. Typically, Kelda, Thor, and the Warriors Three enjoyed watching Sif beat the daylights out of any egotistical soldier who underestimated their friend. They deserved to have their egos dampened before their heads got so big that they might explode.

Although, now on the other side of Sif's famous double sword, Kelda could feel her own ego taking a hit. She never once believed she was better than Sif, the dark-haired girl having much more experience than she did. However, the blonde believed that she would have gained the upper hand at least once during their spar.

Kelda was winded, ready to take a break, while Sif appeared to be ready for round thirteen much to the future princess's chagrin.

"Perhaps, it's time for a little magical training, hmm?" Karnilla spoke up from the sidelines, noticing the blonde's distress. Kelda shot the dark beauty a thankful smile, which dropped as her friend continued, "I am growing bored watching Kelda roll around in the dirt."

Sif let out a laugh as Kelda huffed, vanishing her crystal spear.

"I am merely having an off day 'Nilla. No need to rub salt in the wound."

Sif rolled her eyes. "You have been having an off week. What? Have you grown soft ever since you were announced to be our future queen?" she jested.

At the mention of the wedding, Karnilla stiffened and stayed silent as Kelda answered.

"Of course not," Kelda laughed. "I simply have a lot on my mind."

"Well..." Sif stated expectantly.

Sif could be a little overbearing at times, but that was her way of showing how much she cared. The warrior woman had been Thor's friend first, yet when she met Kelda, she realized how starved she had been for a female friend. There were just topics that the two felt they could be much more open about in each other's presence. When Karnilla came along, Sif had originally been standoffish about the inclusion of this stranger in their group before realizing she had much more to gain by accepting Karnilla as a friend as well than trying to push her away. Kelda valued each of them greatly.

"Well..." Kelda started with a gentle smile. "I-I love Balder. I do. I have known him my entire life. There has always been this special bond between us that has only grown stronger throughout the years. He is my best friend. A part of me has always seen this coming, has always expected this outcome to our relationship. But, if I have always expected it, then why does it feel so sudden?" By the end of her remark, the smile fell from her face and it was replaced with a look of stress and confusion.

Dead air hung between the three women, Sif unsure how to comfort her friend and Karnilla fearful of her own words if she were to speak up. Before they were able to respond, Kelda spoke again. "I am being ridiculous. Maybe it is just the short engagement period... This should be the happiest time of my life!" She seemed to be trying to convince herself more than them.

Kelda did not know where this apprehensiveness came from but she could not get rid of it. The anxiety was always present, just at different levels depending on the moment. Here, with the comfort of her friends, it washed over her in waves as if she were acknowledging it for the first time. In a way, it was the first time she let herself deal with it all week.

For as long as she could remember, Balder had been by her side. She was not lying when she said that he was her best friend and that she loved him. In fact, he was a pillar in her life, helping her to become the person she was. He was her first friend, her first sparring partner, her first crush, her first kiss. He had been the one to teach her how to swim and she had been the one to teach him to let loose and have fun despite his responsibilities as heir to Asgard. Kelda could not imagine what her life would have been like without him by her side. She did not want to imagine it. So why was she not as excited about marrying him as she should be?

It was as if she had this void in her heart she could not fill, and it was keeping her from being happy. She was only just over one-thousand-four-hundred years old. She still had so much in her life that she wanted to do. She wanted to travel outside of Asgard and see the rest of the Nine Realms and beyond. Thor, Sif, Loki, and the rest of them had all been able to do so, having sufficient training. However, for Kelda, she had always been restricted.

Her mother was a Valkyrie general, protecting Asgard and its people until the day she died. Kelda wanted to follow in her footsteps. She wanted more. She felt selfish for even thinking that. Here she was, one of the most envied women in the realm, marrying the heir to the throne, and she wanted more.

"You're probably right," Karnilla spoke up, interrupting the silence, as Kelda was lost in her own thoughts. "It probably is the short engagement that has you so distressed. I mean, we were just talking about all the preparations that are about to begin. The wedding is only a few months away. Until a week ago, the prospect of marrying Balder was just a hopeful dream. It was something that people always whispered about but nothing was for sure. Now, it's all real. Maybe that is why you feel overwhelmed." The dark beauty gave her a comforting smile, despite self-sabotaging her own feelings.

Kelda nodded to herself before moving forward, embracing Karnilla in a tight hug. She pulled back just far enough to look Karnilla in the eyes, "Thank you. Sometimes I just feel like my mind gets away from me. Everything is great, why am I trying to find something wrong with this situation?"

She hugged Karnilla again before calling out to Sif, "Come on, you too!" Sif shook her head and laughed but joined in with the hug as well.

"What is with all the hugging? I thought this was the training grounds!" a loud voice boomed from behind them followed by a series of laughter. The three women pulled away from one another to see Thor, Loki, Balder, and the Warriors Three walking towards them. Now it was obvious to whom the voice belonged, Volstagg had always been the one to give Thor a run for his money when it came to boisterousness.

"We were only taking a break. Kelda was tired of picking herself off the ground," Sif stated with a smirk.

"All right, all right. I never said I was a great fighter. I just said I was better than Thor," Kelda joked with a coy smile. The Warriors Three did not even bother to conceal their roaring laughter. Balder, and even Loki, joined in, although they were much tamer in their reactions thanks to years of etiquette lessons.

Thor blanched at the challenge though, "You better be willing to back up those outrageous claims."

"Who said I was not," Kelda shrugged. She materialized her spear once again and walked to the center of the training yard, the prior serious discussion forgotten. Once she reached the center, she took her stance and beckoned him forward. With a battle cry, the fiery prince rushed forward.

***

As Thor picked himself out of the dirt, Kelda received the congratulations from her friends.

"You fall for it every time," Loki drawled to his brother. "Something could be said for how easily she beats you with such a juvenile trick. She goads you and you charge headfirst straight onto a patch of ice. Truly, extraordinary work, brother."

"Thank you for the support, Loki. I can always count on you," the God of Thunder groaned. Swallowing his pride, Thor stood to meet Kelda, offering a hand to say well done.

"And where have you been?" Kelda directed toward the God of Mischief. "You're always disappearing on me it seems."

Loki had not expected the outright confrontation on his absence in front of the present company. In truth, while Karnilla had chosen to suffer the consequences of her emotion in silence yet still surrounded by people, he had chosen to suffer in solitude. Well, suffer and plot, but it was not as if he could tell her that.

"Has it been a week already?" he said, feigning ignorance. "I must have lost track of time with all my reading." The lie was weak and he knew it. One would think the God of Lies would be adept at deception. However, no one questioned it.

"Well, we must catch up soon. I have to show you all the new tricks Karnilla has taught me." Just as she said it, her attention was quickly pulled to her new betrothed. Loki sighed quietly, his eyes moving to the other woman in question.

Ever since the engagement announcement, Karnilla had been on his mind. If he were to execute the plan he created, then she would be instrumental. While the rest of the group returned to training, except for Kelda and Balder who wandered off together, Loki stood to the side with Karnilla.

The dark beauty watched as the golden couple strolled away to the gardens, but her longing gaze did not go unnoticed. "Lovely couple, are they not?" Her head snapped towards him, realizing she had been caught staring again.

A false smile lit up her features, "Yes, they are."

"Almost nauseatingly so."

The smile became even more strained. "Yes..." She could feel her heartbeat race as his green eyes bore into her own. It was as if he could see right through her. As if he could see her deepest desires, ones that she had never dared to utter aloud.

She was equally as skilled in determining the inner thoughts of those around her. It was no secret to her that Loki was deeply infatuated with Kelda. Thor used to tease the silver-tongued prince about it relentlessly although Kelda had always been oblivious. She was still oblivious.

Gaining back some semblance of courage, at least enough to endure this conversation, Karnilla narrowed her eyes at the prince. "Is there a point to this conversation? Because I would like to get to it and move on with my day."

"You mean your day of sulking and pouting about the man who you are in love with marrying the woman that I am in love with?" He said it so confidently that Karnilla was honestly taken aback. It was the first time she had heard him so blatantly admit his feelings.

"So you actually confess that you love her?"

Loki scoffed, "And you strategically ignore my own observation about the object of your affections."

"Well, this is the first time I am confronted about my own inner thoughts and desires, while yours have been in question for years only for you to deny and deny again."

Loki clenched his jaw in annoyance at the pointless banter. "Yes," he almost snarled, his anger getting the best of him. "I love her."

"And I love him. There, now neither of us are lying anymore." While Loki had grown more upset over the course of the conversation, Karnilla had only grown bolder, trusting her instincts.

A wolfish smile pulled at the God of Mischief's lips, "No, we are not. But, what if we could be more honest about our feelings? What if we could each be with the person we love?" Karnilla narrowed her eyes at him once more, waiting for him to continue. "I have spent the last week trying to devise a plan for us all to be happy. Now, would you like to help me stop a wedding or not?"

***

Sorry, this chapter is so short. Originally, this chapter and the last were going to be combined but then I thought it was getting too long. However, I probably could have left them together. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm going to try and have both my Avengers stories caught up to the original Avengers movie by the end of August because I really want to get going on this franchise. I was very inspired after Endgame and even more after the new Spider-Man. I can't wait until I introduce my OC for those movies. I'm so excited.

Last Note: I took a really long break from writing over the past few months. As soon as I gained a lot of free time after finishing school, I had a big problem with depression thanks to a side effect of my birth control. It destroyed any motivation I had and then when I finally started to feel like myself again, I couldn't get the words out onto the page. But, the best way to start again is to just... do it.