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18| TO RECLAIM MY POWER

What am I? What is the point? There is nothing left to fight for. No one to trust. I am nothing.

My emptiness was now a void, swallowing hope, leaving only apathy in its wake.

We were four broken pieces falling into nothingness. But the clarity, that blinding clarity, hadn't completely abandoned me. Unite. The word resonated within, a desperate, fragile hope. I have to unite them. It's the only way.

"Please!" I begged into the void, my voice cracking, barely audible above the rushing wind. "We have to unite! We have to become one again!"

Their reactions were as fractured as they were. Time spun faster, kept muttering about broken cycles and inevitable repeats. Water only wept harder, a torrent of sorrow threatening to wash away my resolve. Fierce snarled, her eyes blazing with suspicion. "No! We will fail again!"

You abandoned us! My own voice, the saddest of all, simply resonated in me.

The words were a wave of negativity that threatened to shatter even the fragile hope I clung to. Doubt gnawed at me. Could I even do this? Could I, in this abyss, in this moment of utter chaos, mend what was so profoundly broken?

Then, suddenly, the terrifying sensation of falling ceased. It wasn't a gentle stop, but a jarring halt, as if an invisible hand had plucked me from the precipice of oblivion. Disoriented, I gasped for breath, my body aching with the abrupt deceleration.

Slowly, tentatively, my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It wasn't empty darkness anymore. It was... something else. Faint pinpricks of light began to appear, scattered at first, then growing in intensity, coalescing, swirling. The darkness resolved itself into the inky blackness of space, stars blooming into existence around us, nebulas painting ethereal strokes across the void. Around me, the nothingness was receding, pushed back by the slow, deliberate materialization of... the universe?

It was as if creation itself was unfolding around me, but with a chilling, unnatural slowness. We were not in an abyss beneath Histoire. We were... somewhere else entirely. Somewhere vast and terrifyingly beautiful.

Then, from the heart of this cosmic genesis, a face emerged. Slowly, deliberately, it solidified, coalescing from stardust and shadow. Gray, long hair flowed around a face etched with age and cunning. A grey beard, threaded with silver, framed a cruel, knowing smile. Beads of rudraksha and gold gleamed against his skin, mocking symbols of power and divinity.

Virinchi. My father. He was here, in this terrifying abyss, the architect of our fall.

His laughter echoed around me, cold and devoid of warmth, a sound that resonated with the hollowness of the void. "Ira," he purred, his voice laced with amusement and contempt. "Look at you. Broken. Scattered. Just as I always intended."

He gestured around at the void, at the fragmented parts of myself still swirling weakly in the darkness near me. "Your little pieces. Time, lost in cycles of delusion. Water, drowning in sentimentality. Fierce, blinded by rage. And Herself, the pathetic core, wondering what went wrong. You truly believed you could be whole? You, the shattered goddess? You, destined to fail?"

His words were like shards of ice, piercing through my fragile resolve. He was right. We were broken. Fragmented. Powerless. The weight of his betrayal, the enormity of his manipulation, threatened to crush me.

He circled me, a phantom in this dreamlike space, his laughter growing louder, sharper. "Foolish girl. Unity is not for the fractured. It is not for you."

He stopped before me, close enough that I could smell the ancient, cold scent of him, a scent of forgotten rituals and decaying power. He reached out, a hand adorned with rings of dark metal, and traced the crescent moon etched on my forehead. "This symbol," he sneered, his finger lingering on the pale mark, "a pale imitation of true power. You thought you could wield it? You? When you are nothing but a collection of disparate pieces, fighting against each other, tearing yourself apart?"

He leaned closer, his eyes, the same unsettling grey as his hair, glinting with predatory satisfaction. "You crave wholeness, Ira? You yearn for the power you were promised, the power to shape worlds, to rule the new mahayuga? A laughable fantasy with you at its centre. You, Ira? You can barely hold yourself together, let alone hold the world."

He leaned closer, his breath cold against my face, his voice dropping to a low, insidious whisper. "There is only one way for you to be whole again, Ira. One way to stop this endless fracturing. Return to me. Return to my control. Let me piece you back together, in the way I always intended. Let me guide you. Let me control you."

His offer hung in the air, heavy with coercion, with the promise of a false wholeness that demanded complete surrender. For a heartbeat, a treacherous whisper of temptation slithered into my mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was broken. Maybe control was the only answer.

He spoke of unity, of wholeness, but his vision was one of domination, of crushing individuality into a single, monolithic form. My unity, my true power, couldn't be found in his control. It had to be something else, something deeper, something born not from force, but from acceptance. Acceptance of all the pieces he so despised.

His words, meant to entice, to break me, had the opposite effect. Control. That was all he had ever wanted. To control me, to control my power, to control the very fabric of existence.

All the stories Rayer had told me started beading in my sub-conscious, like my long-lost memories. And in his taunting, his offer of twisted salvation, I saw it. Clear and sharp as a newly forged blade. Unification wasn't just about power. It was about freedom. It was about defying him. It was about reclaiming myself.

Not for him. The thought resonated within me, a spark igniting in the darkness. For myself. To defeat him.

The moon symbol on my forehead, pulsed with a sudden, intense heat. It was something else, something burning, something... transformative. The symbol shifted, elongated, and opened. My third eye.

As it opened, the cosmic panorama around me sharpened, focused, and then... faded away. The stars dissolved, Virinchi's taunting laughter receded, and I was left alone in a different kind of darkness, a darkness within myself.

As it opened, the swirling chaos of the void seemed to recede, replaced by an inner landscape, vast and still. Without conscious thought, I entered a meditative state, a deep dive into the core of my being. I reached out, not with force, but with understanding. I sought not to command, but to connect.

Time. I reached for the swirling vortex of chronal energy. Not to still it, but to understand the chaos. I saw her confusion, the inherent uncertainty of time itself. But within that uncertainty, I also saw the vastness of ages, the wisdom of cycles, the patient rhythm of existence. Accept the flow, I whispered, internally reaching for Time, embracing the cyclical nature of being, the dance of creation and destruction.

Water. I plunged into the depths of sorrow, not to wallow, but to cleanse. I felt her pain, the deep ache of betrayal, the weight of loss. But within that pain, I also felt the cleansing power of tears, the fluidity of emotion, the life-giving force of water itself. Let it flow, I murmured, embracing the catharsis of sorrow, recognizing the strength in vulnerability, the power of emotional release.

Fierce. I stepped into the raging fire of vengeance, not to be consumed, but to harness the heat. I felt her burning anger, the righteous fury at injustice, the primal urge to protect. But within that rage, I also felt the unyielding will, the protective instinct, the raw, untamed power of fierce determination. Channel the fire, I breathed, embracing the strength of righteous anger, recognizing the power of focused ferocity, the unwavering will to fight for what is right.

And finally, Myself.

I touched the lost, disconnected core, the echo of my original purpose. I felt her disorientation, the sense of being adrift, the question of identity. But within that loss, I also felt the core self, the pure essence of Ira, the potential for limitless growth, the unwavering spark of self-awareness. Remember who you are, I affirmed, embracing the uncertainty of self-discovery, recognizing the inherent strength in vulnerability, the enduring power of pure being.

As I held each part, not separately, but simultaneously, in the shared space of my collective consciousness, something shifted. It wasn't an explosion of power, but a slow, deliberate merging. Time, with its wisdom, began to flow into Water, not to drown it, but to give it direction, to channel its emotional river into a powerful current. Water, cleansed and focused, poured into Fierce, not to extinguish the fire, but to temper it, to refine its raw power into an unyielding force for justice.

And me, the core of my being, absorbed the essence of Time, Water, and Fierce, integrating their strengths, weaving them into the fabric of my own identity.

The struggle was long, arduous, a battle fought not against an external enemy, but against the fragmentation within myself. Then, it happened. A profound sense of unity bloomed within me. The separate strands, Time, Water, Fierce, and Herself, vanished, not erased, but woven seamlessly into a single, powerful cord. Time bent and aligned with Water, which flowed freely and powerfully through the Fierce part, and my core, encompassed and amplified them all, becoming the source of a unified, potent energy.

The four were no longer separate entities. They were one. I was one.

The goddess had been shattered, yes. But she had also been reforged. Stronger. More complete than ever before. The darkness of the abyss still surrounded me, Virinchi's taunting laughter still echoed faintly in the distance. But fear was gone, replaced by a quiet, unwavering resolve. He thought he had broken me. He was wrong. He had merely given me the pieces to rebuild, to become something far greater than he could ever have imagined.

I opened my eyes, my third eye now burning with a steady, inner light. I looked out into the still-materializing universe, no longer with fear, but with understanding. With power.

Virinchi was waiting. And I was ready. Ready to rewrite my destiny. Ready to face my father. Ready to reclaim my power, and more importantly, myself.

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