STRIP CLUBS BUT IN THE 1900'S! — CHAPTER #37 — EVERYONE IS A SIMP!

—————————————————-
Little note:
(F/C) = favorite color
(S/F/C) = second favorite color
—————————————————-

"Girl! Girl! Wake up! Come on, we have to get going!" You had fainted, and Uzui was frantically trying to revive you in his own flashy way.

"Ngh...?" You slowly opened your eyes, only to be bombarded by the relentless slaps Uzui was delivering and the blinding lights that surrounded you.

"Finally! I thought for a moment there that you were dead! I was slapping you like there was no tomorrow! Don't you fucking dare scare me like that!" Uzui exclaimed, a mixture of relief and annoyance evident in his voice as he saw you finally stir awake.

"...Why does my cheek feel so sore...?" You muttered, gingerly rubbing your reddened cheek.

"Bitch, I said I was slapping the fuck out of you! What part of that didn't you understand?!" Uzui retorted, his frustration seeping into his words.

"...YOU WERE SLAPPING ME?!" You exclaimed, your fatigue dissipating as a surge of energy coursed through your veins.

Uzui looked at you with a smirk, seemingly amused by your reaction. "Oh, you're awake now, huh? Yeah, I was slapping you to wake you up! A flashy entrance is a must, my girl!"

You couldn't help but feel a combination of annoyance and the urge to beat him the fuck up at his unorthodox methods. "Couldn't you have just shaken me or something? Slapping seems a bit excessive!"

Uzui chuckled, his laughter echoing through the room. "Excessive? My dear, I am the God of Flashiness! Excess is my specialty! Besides, I needed to make sure you were fully awake and ready for the mission!"

"YOU COULD'VE DONE IT GENTLY OR SOMETHING BUT, NOT FUCKING SLAPPING ME! MY CHEEK IS ALL RED NOW!"

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DID SLAPPED YOU GENTLY AND FLASHY! I'M A RESPECTFUL MAN!" Said the individual who called you bitch six sentences ago.

"RESPECTFUL MY ASS! FUCK YOU MAN!"

"EY! DON'T PULL THE ENGLISH ON ME! YOU KNOW I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!"

"BITCH I KNOW! HAHAHA! POOR YOU AND YOUR MALEVOLENT ASS! IT'S SAD THAT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ME!EMBARRASSING!"

"I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING COMPLIMENTING ME AND NOT INSULTING ME BECAUSE IF IT'S THE OTHER WAY-"

"AHAHHAHAHAHA! Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success, stupid orangutan old man!"

"YOU-" He was sure as fuck you were insulting him but, it's not like he can exactly punch a woman. That would be really bad. 'This is the first time in my life that i've been provoked to hit a woman.' He thought irritated, clenching his fists and looking at you with hate and sorrow. (I don't even remember how many men have thought this about you at this point).

"Oh my, is that couple having a fight?" Said a old lady who looked at your way.

"But they are so good looking! I've never seen a couple like them!" Somebody else said.

"Look at that man! He's a total stunner!"

"Are you kidding? Look at the girl over there! I'm a woman myself but i could make some exceptions..."

Everyone thought you two were a couple having a fight.

"Let's stop. We're dragging too much attention, young girl."

"Bro, call me by my name. It's not that difficult."

"Fuck you, I ain't calling by your name, girl."

"Well, fuck you too then!" You defiantly extended your middle finger, displaying your frustration towards him. As the two of you continued walking, you couldn't help but feel an exhilarating sense of liberation. The place surrounding you was filled with stunning modern houses and establishments, creating a captivating sight.

The beauty of the contemporary architecture stirred up a nostalgic feeling within you, reminding you of your own time and era. It was refreshing to see such modern constructions instead of the old and ancient houses or villages you were accustomed to. A smile formed on your lips as you relished in the sight, walking side by side with Uzui, who had his arms crossed.

"Listen you! Don't do anything that'll make you stand out! Remember we're only here to case the joint. Whatever you do, don't get out of my side. Do you understand-" You had already gotten lost. 'This damn bitch!'

"Wow... Wow!! Japanese culture is amazing!!" You exclaimed to yourself, fully immersed in the beauty of your surroundings. The vibrant atmosphere was teeming with people, yet Uzui managed to locate you surprisingly quickly.

"What did I tell you about getting out of my sight!?" He asked, annoyance evident in his voice as he grabbed the back of your clothes, much like a grown cat carrying its kitten by the scruff of its neck.

"Sorry! I got distracted for a second!" You apologized without hesitation, understanding his frustration. He let out a sigh and continued his explanation.

"This is the Yoshiwara Entertainment District. A place filled with the vanity and desires of both men and women. It's a town that thrives on the complexities of love and hate, a shimmering spectacle of emotions. Quite flashy, isn't it?" He explained.

"Yup! It's definitely flashy!" You agreed, captivated by the vibrant atmosphere.

"Good! So let's get—HUH?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" Uzui suddenly realized you had gotten lost again. It wasn't entirely your fault, given the crowded nature of the place. You found yourself bumping into numerous people as you tried to navigate the bustling crowd. Unexpectedly, you collided with a particular someone.

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" You quickly bowed and apologized to the person you had accidentally bumped into.

"Oh, it's okay, don't worry... Are you hurt?" The man asked with genuine concern etched on his face.

You raised yourself up swiftly, a bright smile gracing your lips. "No, I'm okay! Thank you for your concern..." You replied, appreciating his kindness. However, as you gazed into the eyes of the man standing before you, time seemed to stand still. He was an absolute vision of beauty. His towering presence was accentuated by the loose-fitting kimono, revealing glimpses of his muscular and toned physique. His jet-black hair and sparkling eyes added to his mesmerizing aura. You couldn't help but think, 'Holy shit, WHO IS THIS STUNNING MAN!?'

"Hmm? Do you perhaps work here?" He inquired, tilting his head curiously. "Because if so, I'd like to buy your services."

"WHAT?!" You exclaimed, taken aback by his unexpected proposition.

"Yeah, you're the first woman who has piqued my interest. So, who sells you?" He asked, taking a step closer, his presence becoming even more captivating.

"U-Um, I'm not— wait!" You tried to refute his assumption, but the man seemed to be oblivious to your words, his attention solely focused on you.

As the man's persistence began to make you nervous, your body trembled slightly. Anger welled up within you, tempting you to deliver a punch that he deserved. But the fear of causing a scene and making matters worse held you back, keeping your fists clenched at your sides. It felt like there was no way to escape this uncomfortable situation.

Just as desperation started to settle in, a strong and toned arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you close. Startled, you turned around to find Uzui standing there, his eyes filled with defiance. A terrifying aura surrounded him, making it clear that he meant business. "Why, hello~ ! I see that you're having business with my wife! Is there something you want from her?" As Uzui's firm grip remained on your shoulders, he stared down the man who had been harassing you, his gaze piercing and filled with a dangerous intensity. Sensing the tension in the air, the man hesitated, his confidence waning.

"Look, bro, I didn't mean any harm. I just thought..." The man stammered, his voice faltering under Uzui's intimidating presence.

Uzui's voice dripped with a cold warning even though his smile remained on his face. "Thought what? That you could just make unwanted advances towards her? Un-flashy asshole. Don't get near her. In fact, don't breath the same air as her."

The man's eyes widened, realizing the gravity of his actions. He quickly took a step back, his face pale with fear. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm. I'll leave her alone."

"You better~!" Uzui laughed creepily. "I know where you live."

"...!" The man nodded frantically, wanting nothing more than to escape from Uzui's menacing presence. Without another word, he quickly turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving behind a lingering sense of unease.

"Damn! Why are you always getting lost, girl!?" He scolded you angrily.

"IM SORRY! BUT THANKS FOR HELPING ME! STILL, I COULD'VE MANAGED THIS IN MY OWN!" You defended yourself quickly.

"Well, here." He said as he took your hand, holding it gently yet firmly. "I can't afford for you to get lost again. We're wasting time. I'll keep explaining things to you."

"Okay..." You responded, resembling a child scolded by their mother, as you both continued your journey through the district, hand in hand.

"See, this place goes to sleep during the day, and at night, it sparkles and dazzles. The ideal place for a demon, am I right? Women who become Courtesans are mostly sold here due to poverty and debt. In return, they're given food, clothing and lodging. And, if they can climb up the ranks, a rich man might buy out their contracts. There are ranks among Courtesans, as well. The highest-ranked "Oiran" is on a different level."

'Bitch, shut the fuck up already. I know all of this.' You yawned at his un-flashy explanation.

"Beauty is a given, and she's also intelligent and has mastered every traditional art. She's the breadwinner, on whom each house has lavished time and money. A woman of distinction. All right, I've finished. You're ready to start this mission. Come on."

They continued walking, Uzui still firmly holding your hand as you made your way towards a place called Wisteria. With a loud declaration of apology, he led you inside the establishment. As you followed him, curiosity mingled with a hint of apprehension. Amidst the unfamiliar surroundings, Uzui turned his attention towards you, his grip on your hand loosening slightly. He spoke with a sense of urgency, outlining the next steps of your mission within the Entertainment District.

"Listen up, when you've infiltrated the Entertainment District, your first task is to locate my bride. I'll be gathering information on the demons as well. I'll provide you with clothes and makeup to help you blend in. Once you're ready, call out for me!" He instructed, his voice carrying a sense of authority.

You nodded, taking in the information, but a burning question weighed on your mind. "Sir... although, I have one question."

Uzui's gaze met yours, awaiting your inquiry. "What is it?"

"What happened to my friends? I heard that you brought them along for this mission too. Did something happen to them?"

A dark aura enveloped Uzui, his expression growing somber. He sighed, clearly reminded of his frustration with the boys. "Just focus on getting ready. I'll explain everything to you later."

With that cryptic response, he led you to a well-appointed room within the establishment. Left alone, you couldn't help but wonder what your friends had done to incur Uzui's ire. The unanswered question lingered in your mind, but you decided to set it aside for now, focusing on the task at hand.

Glancing at the clothes and makeup provided by Uzui, you felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you. Your face flushed crimson as your eyes widened at the sight of the outrageously bold outfit laid out before you. It was clear that the clothing chosen for your disguise was anything but subtle.

—————————————————————————————

"NONE OF YOU MANAGED TO GET SOLD! WHAT THE HECK!?" Uzui stomped around, fuming and shouting. "AND YOU! STUPID BOAR BLEW THE FUCKING COVER! WHAT THE HECK DID I SAID ABOUT TALKING!? AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU TOOK OF YOUR DAMN CLOTHES!"

As Uzui insulted the dark-haired boy and berated Tanjiro and Zenitsu, a sense of shame washed over them. Unlike the original timeline, this time, none of them had managed to find a buyer due to Uzui's poor makeup skills, resulting in their unappealing appearances. Inosuke, feeling uncomfortably hot in the clothes he was given, decided to strip down in the middle of the street, causing further embarrassment.

"This is why I wanted girls for this mission!" Uzui sighed in frustration as he settled himself on a mat. "But no worries, because I've brought your little friend over here!"

"Friend...?" Tanjiro tilted his head, confusion etched on his face.

"UZUIIIII!!!!!!!! I'M READYYYY!!!" A voice called out from a nearby room. Uzui's face lit up with a smile, and he quickly dashed off, leaving the three boys behind, their anxiety growing. Soon, Uzui returned, clapping his hands with an air of excitement as he led you into the room. You huffed in annoyance, clearly feeling embarrassed by your current situation. It was undoubtedly the worst moment of your life, and you couldn't help but think about how you would rather die than endure this.

Dressed in a (F/C) short Japanese dress adorned with accents of (S/F/C), the outfit resembled the attire worn by Uzui's wives. Your chest spilled out slightly, the obi wrapped tightly around your waist, accentuating your curves. Your legs were bare, adding to the allure of your appearance. It was a bold and attention-grabbing outfit, emphasizing your attractiveness.

Your hair was styled meticulously, picked up in an elegant updo/left flowing freely. The makeup you applied was skillfully done, enhancing your natural beauty. With a hint of blush to accentuate your already flushed cheeks, a touch of powder to perfect your complexion, and a carefully chosen shade of lipstick, your features were enhanced in a way that exuded allure. The makeup gave you an aura of a foreign beauty, someone captivating and undeniably attractive.

"Oh!! You're looking amazing, girl! You rock! Slay!" Uzui cheered for you.

"F-FUCK YOU! ISN'T THERE ANOTHER OUTFIT!?"

"NOP! THAT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT SUITS YOU!"

"DEVIL! MONSTER! I HATE YOU!"

"Hate me all you want but I'm serious when I say it looks good on you. The three boys can agree with me, right?" He asked to the Kamaboko squad, who were just looking straight at you. "...Um, hello?"

Bro, your beauty just left them speechless.

...

...

...

"(Y/N)!!!" Their reactions came a bit delayed, but the three of them were now blushing furiously, well, we don't know about Inosuke since he was wearing his mask.

"(Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y/N)!!!" Zenitsu squealed, unable to contain his excitement. He immediately ran towards you, arms outstretched, accidentally knocking over items in his enthusiasm. Tengen scolded him for making a mess. "DON'T LOOK AT HER! YOUR GAZE IS POISON! STOP STARING AT MY WIFEY, YOU PERVERTS!" He screamed, his protective instincts kicking in. In his eyes, you were already perfect, but now, you were surpassing even perfection. His face flushed red as he thanked the gods for your presence. 'I'm gonna pass out! A HUMAN IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE THIS CUTE!'

Inosuke, initially startled by your beauty, let out a boar-like screech. He gasped, choking on his drink, desperately searching for air. After recovering, he simply gazed at you in awe, rendered momentarily speechless.

Zenitsu and Uzui engaged in a heated argument over your attention. Feeling exhausted by their antics, you decided to sit next to Tanjiro and Inosuke. Unbeknownst to you, Inosuke's gaze remained fixated on you, oblivious to the world around him. His mask shielded his blushing cheeks as his heart pounded rapidly. His hands shook slightly, his palms growing damp. What was happening to him? This was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He fought the urge to blink, not wanting to miss a single moment of your presence. He inwardly cursed his own infatuation, secretly grateful for the mask that hid his embarrassment.

Tanjiro gasped, his face turning a deep shade of red. Determined to resist any sinful thoughts, he scolded himself whenever his gaze inadvertently wandered away from your eyes. He fought against the internal struggle, reminding himself of his duty as the eldest son. Sensing your discomfort and embarrassment, he quickly moved to your side, wrapping his arms protectively around you. He draped his haori gently over your figure, hoping to ease your self-consciousness. You thanked him with a shy smile, only causing his blush to intensify.

"Why did you bring her to a place like this?! You can't sell her! They'll look at her with impure intentions! They're all perverts!" Zenitsu scolded Uzui, with Tanjiro agreeing fervently. Zenitsu wanted nothing more than to whisk you away from this place. To him, you were not just cute, pretty, and beautiful, but absolute perfection. He was ready to confront Uzui, but...

"Guys! Stop it! I'm a demon slayer! It's my job, anyway!" You reminded them, asserting your independence. You were no longer the civilian they had first encountered. You were proud to be a demon slayer, and although the outfit made you feel embarrassed, you knew you could handle it. After all, it didn't look bad on you.

"SEE? SHE GETS IT!" Uzui applauded you. "Why do you three have to be so ugly? Why can't you be beautiful and pretty like her!?"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT ANYWAYS! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO APPLY MAKEUP! YOU MADE US UGLY!" Zenitsu scolded him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, UGLY CHICKEN! YOU WERE UGLY BY DEFAULT ALREADY!" Tengen retorts back.

"Um! If it's not too much trouble, I can apply makeup on them and make them look more feminine!" You offered, raising your hand shyly.

"OH!? PLEASE, FIX THEM AND MAKE THEM DECENT THEN!" The three boys had been contemplating Uzui's demise, but your suggestion stopped them in their tracks.

You began with Zenitsu, styling his hair down and adding some delicate curls with the help of stickers. Placing flowers at the side of his hair added a touch of elegance. Finally, you applied a simple makeup, focusing on making his lips look juicy and inviting. Zenitsu was overwhelmed by your close proximity, especially with you wearing that alluring outfit.

He could hear everything and he heard that you too, had your heart beating fast like him. Why was your heart beating? For him? This thought made him blush but then, something caught his attention. Just as he could hear your heartbeat, he noticed that your sound had change. He began trying to listen to your sound intensely. He didn't know what but your sound was different. Weirdly different. His thoughts were interrupted as you finished your work, excitedly looking at him.

"So...? How do I look?" He asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He trusted you, but he didn't expect much of a transformation.

"DAMN! IS THAT ZENITSU!?" Tanjiro gasped in awe. "You look absolutely stunning!"

"HUH? LET ME SEE!" Zenitsu looked at himself in the mirror and couldn't believe his eyes. He truly did look stunning. "AHHH! I'M SO BEAUTIFUL! EVERYONE WILL FALL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR ME!"

"YAY! I'm glad you liked it!" You felt a sense of joy in seeing Zenitsu's reaction. Moving on, you focused your attention on Tanjiro.

Since Tanjiro had long hair in this timeline, you decided to style it into a high ponytail. His fluffy and curly locks swirled around as you adorned them with golden sticks and delicate flowers. Moving on to his makeup, you carefully applied mascara to accentuate his lashes.

'TANJIRO LOOKS SO GOOD! I WANT TO SMOOTHER HIS FACE! I FEEL SO GAY!' You couldn't help but think, feeling a surge of affection towards him.

"(Y-Y/N)!! S-Space, please!" Tanjiro stammered, his cheeks burning. It wasn't bothering him, but your closeness was overwhelming for his eyes and his heart.

"Oops! Sorry!" You chuckled, realizing your proximity. Finishing up with Tanjiro's transformation, the group erupted in applause.

"What kind of black magic are you working with?! This is magnificent!" Tengen exclaimed, genuinely impressed by your skills.

"It's not black magic. It's just makeup. They're naturally pretty, so it wasn't much of a challenge!" You replied nonchalantly.

"...🥺!" Tanjiro and Zenitsu were left speechless by your comment.

With Inosuke as the final candidate, you could have simply removed his makeup and let his hair down, but you decided to have some fun. Applying a touch of lipstick and blush, you then tied his hair up in a bun, adorning it with golden accessories. Inspired by the girls you had observed on the streets while walking with Uzui, you aimed to create a unique and eye-catching look for Inosuke.

"(Y/N)!! GET THIS OFF OF ME! IT'S SO ITCHY!" Inosuke exclaimed angrily, attempting to undo his hairstyle, but you smacked his hand away, not allowing him to ruin your creation.

"WOW! BRAVOOO! LET'S GO! NOW I HAVE FOUR GORGEOUS LADIES! GREAT JOB, GIRL!" Uzui praised, giving you a playful head pat and ruffling your hair, causing a blush to rise on your cheeks, mingling with a hint of annoyance at the damage to your hairstyle.

"Now, we're ready to embark on this mission!" Uzui smirked, his gaze shifting towards the transformed boys, who now looked surprisingly convincing as girls.

——————————————————————————

(Kamaboko girl disguises designs are made by me.)
(Inosuke reminds me of daki😭)

Xoxo, azamishomie.