I WAS LURED BY A FLICKERING LIGHT — CHAPTER #27 — I MADE THE MEMORY FROM THE PAST COME ALIVE

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Little note:
Angst
Insinuations of depression (idk)
Very sad thoughts ☹️
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I, (L/N) (Y/N)... no, that's not right.

I, (R/N), am a normal person.

No more to add.

When I was little, my father passed away, and although I have no memories of him, his absence didn't cause me much pain. However, I must mention that my mother held immense love for him. She often described him as the epitome of a perfect husband. Whenever someone asks me to describe him, her deep affection is the first thing that comes to mind. Sadly, my father's life was cut short by a heart attack, a painful event that caused pain to my mother.

In the aftermath, I remained with my dear mother, who held a significant place in my life. Unfortunately, tragedy struck once more when she lost her life in a car accident. To me, she was an extraordinary and remarkable individual, yet her passing occurred in the most ordinary manner imaginable. It was an incredibly sorrowful experience.

Some people where nearby when the incident happened. They told me that she had her lasts words and that they could told them to me. I declined, not wanting to hear them. I know that if I heard her last words, the amount of sadness I would feel would be unbearable.

Following her death, circumstances led to the decision that I would live alone, as there was no one else to care for me. Since I was approaching my 18th birthday, it was deemed acceptable for me to handle life on my own. I took up various jobs to sustain myself, relying on the hard-earned money my mother had left behind. My routine involved attending school, which was nothing out of the ordinary.

That's right, I'm simply (R/N), an average and ordinary girl whose parents are no longer with me. There's nothing more to it, and nothing less.

I live as a civilian, an everyday individual like countless others.

As a student, I blend in among my peers, pursuing education in a normal and ordinary manner.

Being a girl, I experience life's ups and downs just like any other person of my gender.

In essence, I am (R/N), an ordinary person.

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Yes, I am normal. So fucking normal, in fact, that it's almost comical. I'm so incredibly normal that even breathing comes as second nature. I find joy in simple things like music, and I follow the normal routine of going to bed at night and sleeping like any other person. If you were to open a dictionary and search for the word "normal," you might very well find a picture of me. It's almost like being normal has become a hobby of mine. Did I mention that I'm fucking normal? Eating food and brushing my teeth are just a couple of the many ordinary things I do. People would describe me as regular, typical, and mundane—clearly, a normal individual—I'm so remarkably normal that one might even consider me average. When I wake up in the morning, I can't help but think, "Wow, I am undeniably fucking normal. So, so fucking normal." That's right. I'm normal. So fucking normal. So fucking normal. So fucking normal. Fucking normal. Fucking normal. Fucking normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. 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Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. 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Who really cares if my mother died? After all, it happened in the same way as my father's passing: a normal occurrence.

Who cares if I blame myself? Such feelings are only normal, a response any regular person would have.

Who cares if I cry every day, feeling utterly useless? It's normal to grapple with such emotions.

And yes, even the thought of death itself is a natural normal part of life. So there's nothing to feel bad for.

I am normal. I don't possess any outstanding qualities. I'm not rich, nor do I boast a high IQ. I haven't made any groundbreaking discoveries or had the opportunity to assist influential figures. Nothing extraordinary has happened to me, nor have I embarked on any remarkable endeavors.

That's precisely why I am normal. Average, blending into the fabric of everyday life.

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Normal.

What is normal?

The concept of "normal" is multifaceted and can be understood from various perspectives, encompassing social, statistical, psychological, and cultural dimensions. It is often used to describe what is considered typical, expected, or conforming to the prevailing standards, norms, or behaviors within a particular context or society. However, it is essential to recognize that the understanding of normality is subjective and can vary significantly across different cultures, societies, and individuals.

Contemplating the purpose of life and the significance of our actions is a deeply profound and existential inquiry. It's natural to wonder why anything matters when we all inevitably face death. The transience of life can make it difficult to find meaning or motivation.

Is it necessary for everything to hold significance? Can't nothing matter? After all, if we are born only to die without awareness of our own demise, does anything truly hold importance?

Why should we continue to live?

Why bother wake up each day?

Why eat?

Why socialize?

Why strive?

Why experience emotions?

What purpose does it all serve?

In my ordinary life, there was one thing I desired above all else—to maintain my normal life—I cherished my simple existence, especially the time spent with my mother. I may not have been particularly outgoing or adept at making friends, but it didn't matter because I had my mother by my side. She was my source of motivation and love, and I reciprocated those feelings with all my heart.

So why was the one thing that brought me true happiness taken away? The pain of being alone after her passing was excruciating. When she was alive, our home was always filled with vitality. The aroma of home-cooked meals would permeate the air, and even the most trivial conversations would bring us immense joy.

But is this normal? Is it normal to grapple with these existential questions and to yearn for the comfort and companionship that once defined our lives?

In the pursuit of normalcy, we often seek stability, familiarity, and the comfort of what we know. Yet, in the face of life's uncertainties and the inevitability of change and mortality, what constitutes normality becomes an enigmatic concept.

Ultimately, the definition of normal is subjective and can vary from person to person. What may seem normal to one individual may appear extraordinary or mundane to another. Each of us grapples with our own understanding of normalcy and the meaning we assign to our lives.

Ever since I found myself transported to the world of Kimetsu no Yaiba, my life has undergone a profound transformation. Determined to use every ounce of my power, I made a heartfelt promise to ensure the happiness and survival of everyone around me. However, as I reflect on my choices, doubts begin to creep in.

Was it a mistake to take the life of Rui? Could I have found another way to save him, to guide him towards redemption instead of resorting to violence?

And what about my involvement in helping Kanao, Aoi, and Shinobu navigate their own emotional struggles? Was I truly capable of offering them the guidance they needed, or was my intervention misguided?

The private conversation I had with Akaza also weighs heavily on my mind. Was it an error in judgment to engage with him on a personal level, risking my own safety and potentially compromising the mission?

Furthermore, I question whether growing close to everyone I've encountered was a mistake. Have I allowed myself to become too emotionally invested in their lives, blurring the line between acquaintance and friend? Do they even consider me important in their world, or am I merely an outsider attempting to alter their fate?

But then, a realization strikes me. Despite my doubts, deep down, I know I am different from them. While each of them bears the weight of traumas and tragic backstories, I stand apart, seemingly untouched by such hardships. I like to believe that I am normal, unaffected by the scars that haunt them.

Yet, it is a facade—a comforting illusion I create for myself—The truth is, I am not normal. I question my relentless drive to save them, to rewrite their stories. And in that moment of honesty, I uncover a profound motivation driving my actions.

I yearn to save them not only out of deep affection, but also to compensate for my own perceived shortcomings. I couldn't save my mother, who was dear to me in my own world, so I now seek solace in rewriting the fates of the characters in this universe.

It's both amusing and disconcerting to realize that I may harbor a savior complex, hahaha...

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As I ponder the impending conclusion of this journey, my mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts and questions. What lies ahead for me? Will I be transported back to my own world or get to stay here?

But amidst all the uncertainties, there's one thing I can't help but wonder: what do I truly want?

Do I want to stay in this world forever? I mean, I've made so many amazing memories with these characters, and there are still so many more I haven't even met yet. Just thinking about it fills me with such overwhelming emotions. It's almost surreal, you know? I mean, there are people out there who would kill for this opportunity, and here I am, living it. I consider myself incredibly lucky.

A grin spreads across my face as I revel in the joy of it all.

But then again, even if I do get to stay, does it really matter? Am I even important here? To them? I'm just an outsider, an intruder in their world. If I were to disappear, they'd move on with their lives without skipping a beat. I'm like a blip on their radar, a temporary guest in THEIR story.

And yet, this realization only fuels my determination to help them, to prevent their tragic fates. Despite my insignificance, I'm ready to give everything I have to ensure they get the happy endings they deserve. I'd sacrifice myself if it means securing their futures.

Maybe that's the purpose of my existence.

To change the fate of Kimetsu No Yaiba.

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Taisho Secrets ~

- Okay, (Y/N) for now has abandonment issues, inferiority complex, praise kink and savior complex...? (Holy shit😦)

- This wasn't a dream nor anything created by Enmu.

- While you and Rengoku were both sleeping, he unconsciously grabbed your hand, giving it a firm squeeze and never letting it go.
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No drawing for this chapter and I'm sorry😭 this chapter might have been a bit boring. I just want to give (Y/N) more depth in her character.

Xoxo, azamishomie.