"it feels like i'm drowning in the memory of her."

"LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW WATCHING THE WORLD PASS BY,,"

Shades were slipped over my eyes covering the bruises from the accident.

The jacket i had on wasn't helping me cool down from this heat, but it covered the bruises and cuts so i refused to take it off, even when we went onto the plane to get to Atlanta.

didntFor the first time since the accident, I was going to Jefferson, and not going back to Massachusetts afterwards. It killed me to know that, considering that's where I grew up and it's what I know and love, but i had more friends down here than i did up north even if i wouldn't admit it.

"You ok?"uncle chris nudged me, and I shrugged, before going to look back out the window.

I didn't feel anything except for pain and numbness. My right hand was in a cast, i had fractured ribs, a concussion, and guilt that was swallowing me up, and it felt like i was drowning.

We pulled up to uncle chases house, which would be my new home until i left for college. I found Mama Grace's car outside, along with Kolby's and a few other people from the town I knew.

Uncle chris honked the horn, before we got out, and his front door ripped open revealing Preston, and he ran the fastest I've ever seen him run towards me, and stopped right in front of me, and tackling me into a hug.

A few tears slipped down my cheeks, as my lip quivered.

I missed him like no one could imagine. I had been begging for him in the hospital after I found out about mama. He was the only one I wanted to see, or talk to but he wasn't there and because of the concussion i couldn't use Uncle Chris's phone, and mine was lost in the wreck.

after awhile, he pulls back and lifts up my chin gently, slipping off the sunglasses i had on exposing the numerous bruises i had around my
eye, along with the fading black eye.

"my god becca."a sob broke through his lips, and a small broken smile was forced onto my lips.

"i'm ok."i tried to convince him, and he shook his head.

this was the first time i had ever seen him cry, and to be honest it was scaring me.

never once had he cried when i was here on my trips, and never ever called me crying.

"pres."my voice shook, "why are you crying? your scaring me."

"i'm sorry bec."he took a sharp breath as the tears streaming down his cheeks started to stop.

"i hate seeing you like this. you don't deserve this."he explained, and i nodded.

"why don't we go inside?"preston asked, and i nodded once more, as he kept his hand on my lower back, guiding me into the house.

not even a second after the front door slammed, AJ and Barrett came bolting out of wherever, and stopped quickly at the sight of me.

a sob broke through AJ's lips as tears filled barrett's eyes, "becca.."

"i'm ok."i declared, "i just need time."

"becca..."

the scene was fading into black and my eyes widened, "becca—!"

"becca—!!"my eyes snapped open, finding myself in my room at my uncles house, and preston's hans on my cheek.

sobs wracked my body, and it felt like i was drowning.

and i was.

i was drowning in the guilt of her death, and thinking back to how if i hadn't suggested us going out, she'd still be alive.

preston pulled me into his arms, making me sit up as sobs continued to wrack my body.

it hurt so badly, and i wanted to be dead

i should be dead.

☆☆

this is kinda sorta sad
and i kinda sorta hate
this chapter BUT
it's ok🙃

ok so rant time a bit;
maren morris is underrated
don't argue with me bc
great ones is amazing and
i bet you don't even know
that song sO

she's my idol 🤠

i'm writing a book called
romeo & juliet and it's
kinda sad (( like all my stories ))
but we're gonna ignore
that factor

BYE