SELENA GOMEZ as HERA MCGONAGALL
'the hermit'

"I can to handle people, I would just rather not."

HARRY STYLES as HUGO COLLINS
'the heart-throb'

"All I've ever wanted was to make art."

PERRIE EDWARDS as AGNES WILLIAMS
'a motherfucking goddess'

"Oh come on, we all know how this silly game will end."

LEIGH-ANNE PINNOCK as SIOBHÁN MILLS
'the princess'

"My goal in life is to be as flawless as Mia Thermopiles."

JADE THIRLWALL as MAY QUINCY WHITMORE
'the sapphic queen'

"I only drink gay vodka."

HAILEE STEINFELD as NORA TRENT
''personified bi panic'

"Don't mind me, I'll just have a panic attack in the corner."

ALL OTHER CELEBRITIES as THEMSELVES