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Hi! I did it! I'm so excited I got to finish this chapter and publish it on Christmas just like I hoped I would :,) This is my gift to you guys and I really hope you enjoy this one! I hope you all have a happy holiday season and i'll see you guys in the next chapter, that I hope to post before New Years! <3 Love you all and I'm so grateful for each and every one of you!
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A little later that morning, clouds had formed over the city and soon enough, the rain came crashing down a lot harder than most would have predicted. The relentless downpour of rain mirrored the tension that the bustling city had started out the morning with. But as Levi and you went our separate ways, there was somebody just across the city who was feeling sullen enough without the rain adding to it. Everything was just piling up on top of each other and he could feel himself reaching his breaking point with every passing second.

The external problems that had stormed into his life in a matter of hours, disrupting the fragile peace he'd been trying to maintain as he tried to juggle it all while trying to mend what was already broken beyond repair, only made it worse. The weight of the world was pressing down on him, and he could feel himself unraveling and losing his mind, slowly but surely. Grisha was sitting in his office, and the heavy clouds outside that were casting long and looming shadows over the room made it feel like the sky was closing in on him unbearably. The thunder was rumbling in the distance, with a low, oppressive sound that seemed to echo the turmoil inside him that wasn't seeming to let up any time soon.

He feels like he's sat down in that chair for like the 100th time over the past week, but even more during the last 3 days. He felt like the walls of his office were enclosing him, as if they were getting tighter and smaller by the hour. As much as he felt like this space was suffocating in here, he just couldn't afford to let go of what he'd been working on and to let his focus stray. He feels like he's spent more time sitting down in his office chair than outside the last 24 hours and its been driving him mad. He couldn't take it anymore.

But even so, even if he knew that he desperately needed to take a break, he knew that trying to fight his own battles alone without you ever having to find out or worrying about him was becoming harder and harder. He felt like there was an even bigger storm brewing inside him. The patter of the rain against the window outside felt like it was a cruel enough reminder of his isolation and what he was putting himself through. It felt like the rhythm of the rain was mocking him, and its rhythmic drumming on the glass clouded his judgement without giving him a chance to think. It shrouded his thoughts and his mind as a whole, frustrating him to no end where he couldn't even hear himself think.

Others might find a private office with the sound of rain pattering outside something comforting, but to Grisha, it only fueled his feeling of helplessness that he was so desperately trying to get rid of. He should feel relaxed and calm, but he felt like he was sitting in his own prison that refused to let him feel any sort of tranquility inside of him. And not only did it feel like the rain was trying to send him a message that the interruptions wouldn't stop tormenting him, but it was also people in his own life that decided to come in and worsen it.

Grisha slammed his hand down on his desk sternly as he looked up with anger at the person that was standing in front of him. He couldn't believe that he had to deal with yet another nuisance that is just adding more to his already existing problems that he was already bending himself over to solve alone.

Grisha's breathing was ragged as intense and his eyes expressed all the rage that the person in front of him did not even seem to be responding to. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" Grisha said lowly, but the person in front of them just remained with a blank look on their face, refusing to say anything and that only spurred on Grisha's frustration, making it harder to contain his outrage.

"On top of everything you've already done, you go ahead and kill someone?!" Grisha said as he stood up from his chair forcefully and sent his chair rolling behind him. His body was practically shaking with indignation.

"Do you have no respect for anything any of us have worked for? You'll pay for what you did, I'll make sure of it, and I won't be so lenient as I've always been with you. Your luck's run out," Grisha said as he glared daggers at the person in front of him, and as if the universe agreed, thunder rumbled and lighting struck nearby, casting a light over the dark room, and especially over Grisha, showing that he really wasn't going to continue playing games and being forgiven. All of that was over.

"Now, get out of here. I can't even look at you anymore," He sighed and grabbed his chair behind him, sitting himself down on it with a huff and taking off his glasses. He put them down in front of him in his desk, and Grisha then leaned forward, leaned his elbows on the edge of the wooden surface, and then buried his head in his hands.

After that, he could faintly hear the footsteps of the person that was in front of him start to depart and get further and further away, leaving Grisha to finally be alone at last. For the time being, at least one problem was out of his hands at this point and he could focus on other issues he had to attend to, even if in the back of his mind he knew he still had to deal with what just happened. But, he refused to think about it right now.

Though, as for the mysterious person that Grisha was scolding just now, as they left the room, they didn't leave the premises entirely. They decided to stay for a second and watch through the glass door of the office, watching as Grisha fell apart by himself with each passing minute. It would be a matter of time before he broke and nothing else would be left inside him to continue fighting, and as the person's fist tightened with wrath and resentment from what just happened there, they knew for a fact that after this, he wouldn't have to wait very long. There will come a time soon enough where everything will go their way.

-

As the rain continued to downpour, unlike Grisha, there were many others who were trying to enjoy the weather to just relax. Like Levi. The trek back to his office was tedious. He knew you'd headed back to your office, so because he left his car in your garage unit, he had to take a cab back there, grab his car, and then head back to the Scouts Foundation. As much of a nuisance as that was, and despite the argument he had with you before you stormed off, he was in too good of a mood to let any of that tarnish that. He'd done a deal, bought himself more time, and now he was doing exactly what he said to you that he'd do.

Now, as the rain pattered softly outside the windows of his office and he watched the water droplets drag down across the window, Levi was sitting in the seating area of his office and prepared to have the moment of celebration for himself for a successful deal. Since Onyankopon wasn't around when he came back, Levi made it himself, which is how he liked it best since he knew best how he liked it.

Levi's peace right now was a complete contrast to what had just happened to Grisha just across the city, and he planned to keep this peace and tranquility for as long as he could. In the back of his mind on his way back to his office, there was a voice in the back of his head that told him over and over again that he should be a little more worried about how he left things with you, that it wouldn't be long until he would need to do another deal and that the spontaneous combustion will come back if he doesn't.

And he should be, but to Levi, though you said that you wanted to end all contact with him and not want anything to do with him anymore, he was set on the thought that once you realize that a regular bodyguard just won't cut it to protect you from that psycho, you'll be the one to come to him this time. Just the day before, he was the one to reach out to you first so that he could complete some deals, so that he could attempt to get his tattoo back, even if he ended up tricking you in the process, but now that he was more open to the idea of being your bodyguard solely so he could use his tattoo whenever he wants to stop himself from literally catching on fire, and you were the one who decided to cut off contact, he was the one who expected you to realize that you needed him just as much as he needed you. He hung on to the hope you'd crack first.

This game of back and forth was becoming exhausting for both of you, and he knows that's part of the reason why you cut things off, so he hopes you realize that this could no longer be as ethical as you wanted it to be, because you knew he was a demon and he didn't know what you were expecting to see when he said he makes deals with humans. But, even so, that even if he does recognize that dragging you to watch a deal like that so suddenly freaked you out to no end and that he should've given you more information about what his deals entailed, he knew you were very calculating and smart, now more than ever since you know all the facts and he wasn't hiding anything anymore. You had all the details now, so you could make an informed decision, knowing what was at stake.

You seem to always know exactly what needs to be done when the options are quickly narrowing down, becoming slimmer and slimmer to find. All Levi had to do now was wait, despite having to ignore and shove to the back of his head that voice in his head saying that you won't give in that easily, that he should be the one to try to fix things with you and not expect you to understand what his world is like so quickly. Despite how he refused to admit that there was truth to those words, he still managed to silence them and try to drown them out as best as he could. He was staying true to what he settled on and right now, he just wanted to enjoy his tea in peace and not think about his problems with you. Just like you'd said to him, once he finally came to terms with the fact that the two of you needed each other whether you liked it or not, the ball was in your court now.

As of now, as Levi laid back on his long couch, he held the saucer in one hand and the rim of his teacup with the other, bringing the cup up to his lips and taking a sip. The flavor made him hum with satisfaction as he briefly closed his eyes and then lowered the cup from his lips, bringing it back down to the saucer. The sound of rain set the perfect ambiance for him as he drank tea, and silently used this moment as the celebration he wanted. He reached over and set down the saucer on the coffee table in front of the couch and then laid back again on the cushions, so now, he was only holding his cup. But just as he lightly tipped his head back and closed his eyes to try to focus on the patter of the rain, he should have expected to have some company eventually, because the door to his office suddenly opened, which was followed by a gasp that made Levi open his eyes.

"Levi! You're back! Is the spontaneous combustion gone?" Onyankopon asked hopefully, and Levi straightened up in his seat with his tea still in hand, sending his assistant a small hum and a nod. Even if he didn't know if it was gone completely, at least it was for the meantime. "I was able to make a deal, so it's all good. Don't talk to me, I'm having tea" Levi said simply, not wanting his tea time to be interrupted, but he knew that would be impossible with his two coworkers always around. His response earned Levi a sigh of relief from Onyankopon, because he was already used to Levi quips and simply ignored his words. He quickly started to rush over to Levi up until he was standing right in front of him with an expression filled with content for his boss knowing he'd bought himself more time to get his tattoo back. It was great news in his eyes, though, he still didn't know what transpired after that, which was a little more complicated.

"You have no idea how worried sick me and Petra were. We thought you were doomed for sure," He said, and Levi stopped mid-way from bringing his teacup backup to his lips from hearing what his assistant just said. He looked up at Onyankopon, who was still standing in front of him while Levi was sitting down, and scoffed. "Wow, that's nice. Did either of you have faith in me?" He muttered, and Onyankopon was quick to sit down next to his boss after that, and after a few seconds of silence while Levi took another sip of his tea, Onyankopon's head started to spin with new thoughts that had come to mind.

"Me and Petra got really restless after you left. She left to blow off some steam with more practice for the performance, but I got so bored and couldn't just sit and do nothing. So, I started thinking about what you said earlier today, and I decided to look into the day that you lost your tattoo," Onyankopon said, and that caught Levi's attention. Levi lowered his cup from his lips and turned his head to look at his assistant for a second before raising the cup back up to take another sip, but hoped Onyankopon knew that he still had his full attention for what he wanted to say, despite how neutral and disinterested he seemed about it. Levi listened because he really hoped he was right about this theory.

"And? Did you find anything good?" Levi said, continuing to enjoy his tea. He saw Onyankopon send him an assertive nod, feeling confident enough to continue, so he did. "Well, you told me you fell into the river shortly after midnight, right? Assuming that you fell into the water around 30 minutes or so after midnight, at that time of night, I saw that the water around that part of the city was at at around 14°," Onyankopon said, and Levi nodded along as he took in all of this information and kept it in mind so he could use it later. He hoped it would help him later on if he needed it and he could try out this theory when the time was right. But apparently Onyankopon wasn't done either.

"Though, there's something even more interesting that caught my attention when I was doing my research. I saw that the night your tattoo transferred there was a full moon. I'm not saying it was because of that, but I'm just saying it's worth looking into," Onyankopon said, and Levi froze and then slowly lowered the cup from his lips as he just processed what his assistant just told him. The details about the temperature didn't seem so important but he kept in mind, but this seemed a lot more relevant to him for some reason. Levi sighed and leaned forward to put his teacup on the coffee table and then leaned back against the couch again, raising an arm and laying it on top of the cushions.

"How often does that happen?" Levi asked as he felt himself getting more invested in what his assistant had found out. Onyankopon noticed that Levi's attitude towards what he was talking about had changed in a second, and now it's clear that he was trying to take in as much information about this as he could. "Every 29.5 days," Onyankopon said, and Levi quickly began to do the math in his head. It's been around a day and a half since, so he was quick enough to realize what that meant. It made him groan and lift his arm that was resting on the couch and pressed it to the bridge of his nose in exasperation. All of the confidence he had before just came crashing down and he felt like an idiot

"There's 28 days until the next one. Almost a month," Levi muttered once he realized that if this theory was right, then he would have to wait that long to get it back. He thought the circumstances would be the same as the day he lost it sooner than that and he didn't take that part into account. Levi was still holding onto the fact that you'd change your mind quickly enough way before that, and it was the only thing that gave him any sort of comfort.

Levi can't wait 28 days and hope that the spontaneous combustion doesn't come back before then and that all of his problems would be solved after a month has passed once he has his tattoo back. He has no way to guarantee it whatsoever and that's starting to worry him.

What if you didn't come around before that and Levi would have to spend the next month trying to find ways for you to let him use his tattoo, find methods of his own by looking through his 'manual' again to see if he missed anything, maybe? And you really end up going through with distancing yourself and never wanting to hear from Levi again, then Levi won't be able to make deals, and well...the rest and what would happen next is something he never wants to go through ever again in his life.

28 days is far too long to wait to see if his theory will or won't work, or if you'll even agree to cooperate with him again. It's all a hunch. The only reason he was confident before is because he was certain that you'd change your mind again way sooner than that, like in the next couple of days when that psycho attacks (as much as he hated to think that he was leaving to chance whether you'd survive another attack alone) and he'd be able to make another deal to continue to stall the spontaneous combustion until those 28 days passed.

But now, nothing was certain at all and he knew you wouldn't just have an epiphany and change your mind, knowing how stubborn you are. Just when he thought Levi had something to look forward to, something happens that makes him go right back to square 1, and he's hating every single minute of it.

Onyankopon noticed the sudden sullen and displeased look on his boss' face and he leaned forward slightly to get a better look on his face. "Why the long face? Isn't this a good thing? At least you have a date set on when you could get your powers back and you won't have to be y/n's bodyguard anymore," Onyankopon said, and Levi grimaced at his assistant pointing that out. Before this conversation, he wouldn't have been bothered to remember that he wasn't your bodyguard anymore, but after everything started to click in  his head that this might not be as easy as he thought, he didn't want to remember it.

"Oh...that. No, that's over," Levi said bluntly, and Onyankopon's eyes widened, looking extremely taken aback by his boss' answer. That morning, Levi was so up in arms about finally deciding to be your bodyguard, and now he comes back an hour later and it's not happening anymore? What happened between you two? And the fact that Levi seemed so unbothered by it, when it was the complete opposite of how he was feeling on the inside, really made Onyankopon's head start to spin with the possibilities of what could have happened. It seemed like everything was starting to come together and now you and Levi were just digging each other into a deeper and bigger hole in this situation.

"What? Why? You were so sure this morning," Onyankopon countered, trying to see what it was that made things take such a turn, and what made Levi look so calm right now as he mentioned so calmly that he wasn't your bodyguard anymore, when this morning it was all that he thought that was left that he could do. "I got fired," Levi added simply, with not an ounce of emotion behind his words, making Onyankopon blink at him with confusion.

Onyankopon raised one of his hands and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Already? Honestly you lasted longer than I thought you would," He said, muttering the last sentence, but Levi heard it clear as day. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his cup of tea once again, raising it up to his lips and taking another sip. "What's your deal today?" He said, but his words were slightly muffled by his cup since he said it before taking a sip of his tea. Onyankopon laid back against the couch again, looking at Levi apologetically and was still left with a lot of questions about this, so he turned to his boss again.

"Sorry, but what went wrong between you two?" Onyankopon asked and he watched as Levi lowered the cup from his mouth and leaned over to put it on top of the saucer on the coffee table. Levi turned to Look at Onyankopon and then ran a hand back through his hair, and then let it fall back in place.  "Turns out, she just doesn't want my help anymore like she thought she did. Doesn't want me to be her bodyguard, simple as that," Levi explained, but in the tone that he said it made Onyankopon made him raise an eyebrow and look at his boss suspiciously at how he said and worded that. There were some details missing from this that Levi was deliberately leaving out.

He also sounded a lot more disappointed than he was letting on than just his facial expression. Did it really become that important to Levi? Onyankopon knew that it had suddenly become far more significant to Levi agreeing to being your bodyguard since he finally became open to the idea just so he could stop the combustion at the moment and onward but was it more than that? Or was he just reading too much into it and Levi was simply just bummed his options to be able to use his powers during these 28 days before testing his theory to get his tattoo back were becoming far harder to find? Maybe that was all it was.

"It's not possible you two had a fight already. You weren't even gone for that long. How did she decide she just didn't want to be your bodyguard when she was the one being so adamant about it? How are you the one who's waiting until she changes her mind now? I don't get it-" Onyankopon rambled and Levi just cut him off midway through his rambling, in which he was figuring out expertly how everything happened just from what Levi's told him and from how much he knows him already. Being reminded of his mistakes didn't help and he'd rather just spill everything now before Onyankopon figured it out, even though Levi was sure he already knew at this point what happened.

"Okay, fine. You got me. You want to know what I think? How can she be so selfish and greedy and realize that while she can find another bodyguard, I'm left to wonder how I'll stop myself from bursting into flames at any second? She saw me make a deal, so what? If she can't handle the real world, then tough. What did she expect to see when I told her I made deals with humans? It's not sunshine and rainbows and it's not my fault she can't handle it and seeing it scared her into backing out of this," Levi ranted, and when he finished, his chest was heaving and he ran a hand back through his hair again, leaving his assistant stunned as a look of recognition crossed Onyankopon's face. He finally put two and two together after Levi basically just confirmed it.

"Can I just float a theory here, Levi? After what I just heard?" Onyankopon asked tentatively, seeing that Levi was becoming more and more agitated about this since the beginning of this conversation. Levi turned to look at his assistant and sent him a single, yet tired, nod. Onyankopon let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and adjusted himself in his seat. "Look, I get, I do. This situation sucks for the both of you. But, knowing you, I'm sure it's not just that. She probably had a reason for just storming out like that. Is it possible you forgot to tell her what happens during your deals and she got freaked out? Like any normal person would?" Onyankopon asked, and judging by the way that Levi avoided eye-contact with him, refused to answer and began fiddling with the fabric of the couch, Onyankopon knew exactly what happened now.

"Shut up," Levi muttered, but it only made Onyankopon chuckle as everything started to click. Sure, Levi had many reasons to be annoyed right now, but so did you, which made this that more complicated until either of you left their pride aside to come forward first. "Ah, so you did. Well, Levi, how did you expect her to react?" Onyankopon said as he crossed his arms and sat back on the cushions of the couch. Levi raised his hands up and let them drop down to his lap as he turned to look at his assistant. He'd been trying to pretend that he didn't have to worry about this, that his argument with you wasn't that big of a deal, that you'd come around, but that's exactly what he was doing now and he was driving himself insane trying to see what could go right from here.

"I don't know. But, at the time, I didn't expect her to back out like that, now I'll just feel pathetic if I keep chasing after her knowing she'll probably file a restraining order against me or something. I'm not her favorite person in the world right now, but it's fine, because the feeling's mutual," Levi said as he began to focus out on the rain that was still falling down the window, but he couldn't even focus on that because his thoughts were eating him alive.

He shook his head and let out a huff of frustration. "Either way, now that I've quite literally put out a fire, I don't want to put more of my attention or energy into this but I have no choice but to care about what she says from here on out. I keep hoping she's the one who realizes it this time and we can just move on with this. I'm tired of going back and forth, especially knowing that I have even less time than I thought," Levi explained, and his voice just showed how drained he was becoming from his situation. He couldn't even be happy anymore that he made a deal because he keeps thinking if the killer's attacked you, if you'll ever come around, and if the spontaneous combustion was speeding up and it might as well happen right now and get it over with.

Onyankopon raised his hand and ran his hand back and forth on his head as he processed Levi's words. This situation was just as confusing and fucked up for both of you and miscommunication and stubbornness was going to eventually be both of your downfalls.

"Can you at least tell me what she said that's making you react like this? You have to realize that she has a lot at stake too with someone on the loose out to kill her and for her to give up her own idea, it must have been bad," Onyankopon said, but Levi simply shook his head and didn't follow up with anything else. He then turned to look at his assistant, and it was obvious how the transition between his annoyance and frustration in his eyes over to the anguish and stress that was written all over his face.

Levi's posture had become more slumped, his face was riddled with defeat that said he didn't know where to go from here. He was avoiding eye contact again with Onyankopon, not being in the mood to be figured out all over again because he can't handle it right now, as much as he hated to admit it. But he could try to say some closing words to this conversation and that'd be it.

"Look, It doesn't matter anymore. My tea's gone, I drank it all sitting here talking to you and now I have no idea where to go from here, and pray it all doesn't go to shit," Levi concluded and without anything else to say, he pushed himself up to stand up and made his way out of his office, not giving Onyankopon another glance or another chance to say another word. This was final until Levi got his head in order and he could be rational to himself and anyone else.

-

You couldn't focus. Your mind refused to settle down. Were you in the wrong?Should you have not let yourself get carried away? You were just not going to stand around and be part of something that bent your morals and your values in every way. The image of Levi being so cold and heartless towards that woman and her child was embedded in your mind and you were left feeling unsettled. You couldn't believe you witnessed him doing something like that.

He crossed so many lines in such little time. You had an idea that his world wasn't entirely made up of the most ethical rules, but seeing how dark of a nature it all entailed after witnessing that set off something inside of you that you couldn't. ignore no matter how much you tried to convince yourself you didn't want to think, remember, or consider anything that Levi has shown you.

He was just so emotionless and indifferent while doing it, seeing the flicker of urgency in his eyes that you couldn't decipher why it was there until you saw his fingers catch on fire. That woman could not think straight at that moment, willing to do anything to save her child, even if it meant cutting her life short and having the worst possible outcome for herself.

Who wouldn't be surprised to see that's how Levi's world operated? Everything to him has a price, even the simplest of wishes. You felt physically ill, sick, witnessing something that went against everything you believed in as a person. He prioritized his own necessity versus the needs of others and the cruelty he puts on them.

You've always believed in the power of helping others without expecting anything in return, not needing to have some sort of reward, but that was the exact opposite of what you just saw Levi do. Why wouldn't you start to question if working with him is the right choice or not? Any normal person would see that and start to doubt what they're getting themselves into. You ran from that situation and it felt like the best possible option. At the time at least.

That mother was exploited and you were having a hard time comprehending how you could even be considering that maybe you were wrong for walking out on him when Levi's world was just far too toxic and dangerous for you to be a part of.

That's exactly what he wanted to do to you two days ago, so what would have happened if you'd signed the deal right then and there? Your fate would be sealed. It was cruel and you were screaming at yourself internally, trying to convince yourself that walking away from that was the best thing you could have done. It cuts deep with you, and yet, you still feel like walking away puts you at fault too and it makes you just as bad and selfish as Levi.

You were the one who decided to walk away from Levi and to just try to figure this whole situation on your own so he didn't have to be tied to you anymore. At least that was part of it. You walked away on instinct to protect yourself, and thinking he didn't want to be your bodyguard from the beginning and only for his own gain, you let him go too.

But now, you hated that your conscience was making itself known and guilt was eating away at you. As much as you really did want to walk away from Levi and put a halt to this before it got too far, as soon as you started walking away, you realized that Levi would be alone now. To figure out how to deal with not being able to use his powers when he needed to, whether it was for deals, personal gains, or to just survive.

You couldn't do anything but think about the fact that no matter how immoral his methods were, and the fact that he was a demon, he needs her just as much as you need him. Sure, you could hire a bodyguard, but would it really be the same? You wouldn't have Levi's strength and instincts by your side, even if it was only to protect his tattoo and his powers, and he would have to find some other way to not burst into flames at any unexpected moment.

It began gnawing at you and you didn't know what to do. Were you really wrong to do what you did? Should you have just sucked it up and accept that this had to be your life now? Did you really want that kind of darkness in your life? Your conscience kept repeating like a mantra over and over that you were doing more harm than good by leaving him alone like that. He was still as present as ever, just running through your head and it was torture for you.

You could not block out your guilt, your confusion, and your need to be the one who goes to him this time and tell him that you made a rash decision. But you didn't want to do that, because he also deceived you once again and continues to hide things from you over and over again, so why should you trust him at all to continue working with him? You've seen in such a short time how he's able to manipulate and control situations to how he wants them to go and the moral gray area that you were trying to ignore before became clearer than ever.

You thought that the moment you walked away, it would be easy to just block him out of your head like you did the first time you met him, thinking you'd never have to see him again, which was obviously not the case. You'd tried to forget that date and focused on what's important like your job and your life you'd built for yourself, but now even as you thought about asking Hange to find you candidates to be your new bodyguard, you were starting to realize quickly what was holding you back from really trying to move on like you said you would.

You know by now that Levi's life operates around deals, bargains and taking advantage of people because you were well aware that having lived for as long as he has, he has knowledge about human nature that maybe you haven't even scratched the surface of yet, and clearly uses it for his own gain. All of this just means that he was right on the money before. Humans were emotional, but that was okay. You were bending yourself over backwards and feeling torn over your own decision and you still feel like you were leaving someone vulnerable and in isolation with himself while he didn't know how to go on without the very thing that kept him alive.

You overthinking this right after you thought your decision was set is exactly what Levi was talking about, but it still doesn't mean that you agreed with what he did. You knew that your life and the world was becoming a more fucked up place every day, and while you can still have your morals, would it be contradictory to be a part of something that opposed everything you believe in? You and Levi clearly share different ways to see the world, there's a divide in your morals,

You continue to wonder in the back of your head if he truly is like that and has always been like that as a person because he wants to, or because he has to. That he's done deals and bargains like that for as long as he can remember and that's all he knows how to do and how to be, and it's just stuck with him, knowing nothing else but the lifestyle he's lived. Or that he's doing what he does simply for survival and it's so hard for him to see that what he's doing is wrong? Could that be it? If you'd stuck around, could you have helped him even if it goes against everything you believe in?

Even if you cut things off with Levi and decided to do things your way, nothing was going to be the same. It hasn't been for a while you couldn't stop thinking about anything you could have done differently. Nothing has been the same since you met Levi, and you had a feeling it was only going to go downhill from here and you should start bracing yourself, not continuing to delude yourself.

But now you were too into your own thoughts trying to see how you should handle things from now on by yourself to be really present. You have the source of supernatural powers at your disposal, a psycho was out to get you, there was definitely something going on with Grisha, you were trying to work even harder than before to get the stocks of your company up again after Karina decimated them, and you didn't even want to get started on your family. You just had to find a way to get through it all, with or without Levi, because nobody else could handle your problems but you and you were determined to not let this destroy your life.

Which is why the first step to at the very least, get through the day, is continue your day at work. But even that was becoming a little harder to manage than you thought. You didn't realize you had completely tuned out the people around and what snapped you out of your thoughts was Connie's voice.

"In response to our recent scandal with the harmful products, I spoke to our PR team here at the company and we all decided that, as a company, we should start focusing on sustainable materials for our products. To counter the claims made by that article," Connie said, and when you didn't say anything in response, everyone suddenly turned to look at you once Connie had finished presenting his proposal, everyone's faces turned to concern when they saw how zoned out you were. Hange took note of your state once they looked up from their tablet and they adjusted their glasses on the rim of their nose as their eyebrows pinched together with worry.

They had been sitting right next to you during the meeting and doing their own work, and Jean, Connie, and Sasha were standing across the table and showing their presentation of their product pitch just like you'd asked them to. Everyone was stunned just seeing you completely out of focus, because that never happens. At least not at work, and they'd never seen it, not the trio. But Hange has. They leaned forward to see your face more clearly and you were clearly in deep thought and the slight creases on your face showed that there was anguish behind them.

Nobody knew what to do, but the brave soul that decided to speak up for everybody was Jean. He took a couple steps forward from his friends and looked at you with worry. "Excuse me, Ms. Y/N?" He asked carefully, and everyone else looked at Jean and then back at you. They all wanted to sigh in relief when you lightly blinked a couple times, quickly taking a look around and the situation you were in. Hange's and your employee's eyes were all set on you expectantly and you were quick to come back to your senses, feeling a void in your chest start to fill with shame.

You adjusted yourself in your seat and cleared your throat awkwardly as you raised your fist to your mouth briefly. Your cheeks began to burn with embarrassment, but you still made eye contact with everyone in the room. "I'm so sorry. Please continue," You said and put your hands on the table, bringing yourself closer to it and intertwining your fingers together, letting out a big exhale. You were supposed to be hearing their product pitch. You were at work, in the conference room.

For a moment, everything was muffled and you zoned out a bit. God, the guilt was not getting better, was it? You were supposed to be hearing Jean, Sasha and Connie's work and you were still hung up on your own problems, not being able to set it aside for 30 minutes. They probably worked so hard for it and you weren't even appreciating it like it deserved. What was the matter with you now?

There was a moment of silence after that but after a couple seconds, you breathed in relief silently to yourself when the trio began speaking once more, and this time, you put your full attention on them and pushed down every thought that was taking you away from this moment. "Well, as I was saying, we think that this new image for our upcoming collection of products will replace all of the negativity that we got from the scandal," Connie started again, and you nodded along, listening intently.

Though, as focused as you tried to be, you were completely unaware of the discrete pair of eyes that were looking at you worriedly. Hange's instinct to want to know what was wrong came on as soon as they saw you zoning out like that for the first time ever in a meeting, in one of your most professional spaces.

That never happened. They knew you'd been too out of it for you to remember anything that the trio had said before you snapped out of it, so they were quick to make a mental note to send you the presentation later so you can look at it later when you're in a better state of mind than you were right now. They had been trying to overlook your different behavior ever since they picked you up to come to the office, but now, it was becoming more and more apparent.

The moment they picked you up after you called them, they'd been worried already because of how neutral you sounded over the phone. Their concern for you got worse once you got into the car. You kept up a conversation with minimal words and short responses, delayed responses, distant and dazed voices, deep in thought.

They wanted to comment on it with every fibre of their being, but they knew they couldn't. You were acting completely different and they didn't know what happened, so they didn't want to cross a line. On the way to the office, you had this look in your eye as you looked out the window silently that looked like you've seen a ghost.

Something must have gone really wrong, and they had no idea how you ended up in the hospital so early in the morning and why they had to pick you up there. Every time Hange mustered up the courage to ask questions that hinted at what must have happened, you avoided it entirely, dismissed it by saying it was nothing and remained silent the rest of the way.

Hange was worrying. They were really worried about you. It wasn't their job to pry but to only help if you verbally asked and needed something, and until then, they wouldn't push you anymore. Even if it sent a pang in their chest to see you so out of it. But it's all they wanted to do right now, because whatever happened, it seemed to be sending you down a hole that was slowly destroying you.

She's witnessed many times before that things have gone wrong and even if you were visibly showing that it was bothering you on the inside, you were able to pull through and get through the day, but whatever happened was different. And they just hoped you could eventually confide in them.

And after the car ride to the office, it didn't get better once the two of you got there to start the day. Today you were supposed to hear the progress of how the product pitch of Jean, Connie, and Sasha was going but as much as you wanted to be professional and continue doing your job as if nothing happened, you had too much to think about and you had to pull yourself together. You didn't want to think about this thing with Levi anymore, you'd tell Hange to present you with some bodyguard candidates and that would be it. You had other things to think about and this issue that you've continuously had to keep hidden was interfering with your life.

You tried not to be so dismissive with Hange before because you knew they had no fault in this, or anyone else in your life really, and they were all just trying to do their job. You wouldn't pretend that this situation wasn't serious anymore, you'd embrace it, and do your job either way as you've always done it. Just more aware of what was on the line than before, and being conscious that with Levi on a time limit, there was a lot to think about and consider before you officially hired someone else.

Once you and Hange made it to the elevator just before this meaning and began heading up, even if there was silence between you two, once you took a brief look at your assistant and saw how professional and strong they looked. You didn't know what they were thinking, but to you, it just looked like they weren't going to pry for anything but they knew something was up.

They were trying to let you know that when you were ready to talk, standing firm on the fact that it's better to think about one thing at a time instead of trying to juggle it all at once, they would be there. And right now, your company came first and your job that people relied on you for came first. But it seems even that was becoming harder to handle.

Hange realized that they weren't bothered by you being so silent, dismissive, and distant but instead they were patient and were content knowing that you would eventually come to them, if you wanted to. That whatever must have happened is far too recent and that all you wanted to do now was to figure it out yourself before you put your burden on anyone. 

You refused to put anyone else through the turmoil that was going through your head right now. It was yours alone to take care of. They just hoped that you didn't let yourself get carried away by your own thoughts like you did just now and hoped that the two of you have cultivated a strong enough of a work/friend relationship so that you can count on them for anything.

As Hange quickly went back to work on their computer, you inhaled sharply and then exhaled as you left behind all of those thoughts and focused on what was in front of you; the hard work of your employee's being presented to you. "We listened to what you told us, boss. We're going to be prepared for anything. You inspired us," Sasha said with a bright smile and gave brief glances to her friends next to her, who returned her expression. They all looked at you expectantly and with hopeful faces, wanting to hear your thoughts on what they have prepared so far, as well as the updates on the product pitch that you asked for them.

From what you got to hear, it all sounded very thought out and planned meticulously. They were doing a great job and you wished you hadn't been so distracted so that you could give them your full rundown, but you would save that for the next meeting where you swore to yourself you'd be more present and be the boss you should have been today. You simply sent all of them a proud smile and nodded; "Great job, all three of you. You truly exceeded my expectations and I can't wait to see the fully developed pitch. I expect nothing else than greatness from all three of you and you'll make the company proud," You said sincerely, and it warmed your heart to see the way that after hearing your words, the three of them briefly looked at each other excitedly, and it was clear that they were clearly trying to contain themselves.

The one to speak up first and to show how grateful he was, was Jean. "Thank you, Ms. Y/n. We won't let you down, I swear," He said, earning nods of agreement from his friends. You were happy they weren't holding against you what happened before and were more than eager to continue with the pitch. If you were the one who brought smiles to their faces with positive feedback that would help them improve, you'd continue to do that. That's the kind of boss that you wanted to be.

You let out a soft chuckle and then reached over to grab your purse next to you, and then looked back towards them. "I have no doubt about it. Have another presentation with the full pitch ready for me soon, okay? I'll let you know when I want to see it, but just keep working on it," You said and stood up from your chair, seeing all three of them give you affirmative nods. You looked to the side for a second and gave Hange a gesture with your head to the door as a signal for them to head out with you. They got the message and quickly gathered their things.

You started heading towards the door and were quick to hear the sound of footsteps behind you, knowing it was Hange without even having to turn around. You opened the glass door of the conference room, held it open for Hange once you were outside and when you let the door close, you felt movement in the corner of your eye so both you and Hange turned your heads and saw the trio hugging in a huddle together, jumping around in a circle, and through the glass doors, their cheers were more than audible. You couldn't help but let out a genuine hearty laugh at their happiness of making it through the second part of this product pitch.

Anyone would look at their little celebration and smile. You turned back around to look at Hange and saw that they had been laughing along with you as well. That alone made your heart swell even more, because you've only seen Hange let loose a couple times since you've known them because they insisted they wanted to keep a professional environment when they were on the job, and you never opposed it, but once you saw just glimpses of it, it never failed to lift your spirits. Those three, and all of your employee's were all so young still, so hardworking, eager and innovative. You were glad you had those kinds of people working for you.

Though, you were kind of bummed to have to be the one to go right back to talking about business, or not so much business, but just personal favors you've been meaning to ask Hange since they picked you up earlier and while you zoned out before. You hadn't been in the right state of mind then, and now that you had that small chance to laugh and to liven up your day a little in a way you didn't know you needed, you figured now would be a good time to bring it up again, even if you felt your mood dampen the moment you remembered it. "Hey, Hange," You started, and your assistant turned to look at you and sent you a hum in response.

"Yeah?" They asked, in a very lively and upbeat tone that kept your mood up even as you remembered to ask them what you were about to talk to them about. "Well, I need you to do a favor for me. After everything that's happened, I realized I need a bodyguard," You started and Hange's eyebrows rose in surprise. On one hand, it was really sudden to hear this from you since they've never heard you mention the possibility of getting a bodyguard, but on the other hand, they were thrilled that if you hired one, you wouldn't be unprotected to go places anymore. You were about to continue what you wanted to say, but before that, you used your head to gesture to the door of your office and Hange quickly understood so the two of you began making your way towards your office while you continued listing your requests.

"So, I was just wondering if you could gather some candidates for me and bring me their resumes later," You said as the two of you walked side by side and Hange was quick to nod, raising their tablet that they'd been holding next to them to be in front of them as they quickly started to do exactly what you'd asked for. "I have some references for some people who'd be great at it. I'll keep you posted," Hange said as they continued to type away in their tablet and you nodded silently, not realizing that their words suddenly triggered some thoughts that you'd been trying to push down. But would they be as good as Levi? You thought.

But just as the two of you reached the door of your office, you grabbed onto the handle and were about to push it open, you realized that there was something else that you needed to ask Hange before the two of you went in, before you forgot.

Hange noticed you hadn't opened the door so they halted in their steps as well, looking up at you with confusion and saw that you had a look on your face that said that you still had something to say. "There's actually one more thing I need. Or more like multiple things," You said hesitantly, hoping it wouldn't be too much trouble. Hange nodded, moved to put their tablet against their chest and crossed one arm on top of the other as they waited patiently for you to find the words.

You quickly explained to Hange what you needed and at first you expected shock from them for some reason, but it was the complete opposite. Hange smiled and nodded enthusiastically, being more than willing to help you get what you needed. "Okay! I can go get it for you now, if you'd like!" Hange said and you nodded in agreement. They smiled and pulled their tablet away from their chest to start searching for the items or if any department has any of the items you need.

"That'd be great, thank you, Hange. I'll go inside and finish up some work," You said and your assistant nodded, turning on their heel and starting to walk the opposite way. With nothing else to do but just walk into your office, you turned your body, put your hand on the handle, pushed the door open and walked inside. You immediately made a beeline for your desk and once you got to it, you set down your purse with a huff, grabbed the back of your chair, turned it around, and then finally moved to sit down on it. With a sigh you leaned back against it and tipped your head back as you closed your eyes and took in the silence in your office, with the faint sound of rain patter against your window that was managing to soothe you single handedly.

In the back of your mind, you knew that if you didn't find something to do, unwanted thoughts would just come creeping back in so you decided to start making yourself useful. You shook your head and opened your eyes, lightly tapping your cheeks and rolling yourself in your chair closed to your computer, put your hand on the mouse and turned on your computer, not wasting a second to start checking your daily emails, schedule, deadlines, and just your usual routine that you usually had at the beginning of every day that you started out in the office. You weren't going to think about Levi, that psycho, and all the problems that seemed to be following you everywhere you went. You had your attention focused solely on your work.

Eventually like an hour or two passed and you were able to get a pretty good amount of work done. You were pretty proud of yourself, and even more because every time any thought of any unwanted topics you were trying to bury deep in the back of your mind for the being suddenly surfaced, you just shoved them back down. You couldn't allow yourself to get sidetracked because while everything else in your life seemed to be going to hell, you at least had your job to lean on as a distraction. The rain had also stopped during those hours you just worked nonstop, and the sun was coming in through the grey clouds that formed over the city earlier that morning.

And it also warmed your heart that as soon as you opened your emails when you'd started working, you saw that Hange had forwarded the trio's presentation for you to revise since you missed the beginning of it, and it was hard to miss the message that they left with it on the email. 'What would you do without me? you're welcome, sweetie! <3' The message said and you'd audibly laughed as you shook your head.

You'd click on the presentation, which is the first thing you looked over before going over all of your other tasks that you got done over those two hours. You wondered when Hange even got the time to forward to you for you to see it just as you two parted and you sat down at your desk. You were there the whole time. You really don't know what you'd do without them. And it was just as good as you thought it was going to be, and you can't believe you missed it. You're really excited for the work of those three.

After sifting through your emails, deadlines, tasks and everything you had to get done, you had become so immersed in your work that you didn't notice that just the person you'd been thinking about knocked on your door and came in through them. You looked up and saw Hange walking in with a bright look on their face that piqued your curiosity, and it grew even more when you saw that they were carrying a briefcase on one hand and a folder on the other. "Y/n! I got the goodies!"  They said cheerfully, making you laugh and swivel away from your computer, leaning back in your chair so you could talk to them properly and face to face.

"You did? That was fast," You said as you propped up your forearms on your desk, watching intently as Hange finally reached the front of your desk and set down the briefcase and folder in front of you. You glanced up at them and waited expectantly to show you what they brought with them. From the looks of it, it looks exactly like what you asked for so you were really intrigued to see.

"What can I say? I still think you should take my suggestion and start doing 'Employee of the Month'. I'd be on that wall every single time, mark my words," Hange said, using her hands to enunciate the title and trying to picture her face in a frame every month.  "I don't doubt it," You said as you shook your head and laughed at her enthusiasm. After that, you heard the soft click of the locks of the briefcase be opened by Hange, and then watched as they opened the briefcase itself and then turned it around for you to see the content inside. Your eyes went wide and saw that they'd gotten everything you needed down to a T. Nothing was missing here.

Inside of the briefcase, there were various tools and items you told Hange you'd need for self-defense. You thought it wouldn't hurt to have them on hand even if you were to have a bodyguard by your side. There was a heavy duty teaser, a smaller and much more portable taser, pepper spray and a gun (that wasn't really a gun and it was just to disguise the pepper spray that already came with the kit). But it was exactly the type of kit that you'd asked Hange for and now you felt a little more at ease. You could use this to protect yourself if you ever had a dangerous encounter, which was becoming more and more likely these days. You couldn't thank Hange enough for this, they always came through for you no matter what.

Hange watched as you looked over the items in the briefcase, and felt that it was time they also mentioned what was in the folder. "Also, I gathered the resumes for the bodyguards I think are really good candidates. They all have great references from past employers and reviews. They're all right there in that folder, by the way. Just let me know which ones you want me to call and we can set up interviews, so here you go!" Hange said with satisfaction, but since you were keeping your head down as you looked down at the items on the briefcase, they couldn't see the way your face changed from one moment to the next when they mentioned that they found new bodyguards for you to choose from, like you had asked of them.

Should you be happy about it? It feels like the opposite and you were trying not to let yourself get caught up in everything that you'd been thinking about before because it was a dangerous rabbit hole to go down on, and Hange was standing right there and you didn't want to worry them. Especially after doing this for you. You swallowed quickly and had your face going from the tension that was coming onto your features to a much more happy and grateful expression. You looked up at Hange and smiled. "Will do, thank you again," You said appreciatively, and Hange didn't seem to notice the facade you'd put on because they nodded with that cheery smile that you've known them long enough to have seen thousands of times before.

"It's what I do!" They said, swiftly turning around on their heel, leaving everything they brought for you on your desk and reaching the door, stepping outside of your office, and closing the door behind them. Once again, you were left in silence, but not the one that you were easily able to ignore before, but now, you didn't know if you could. You looked down at the folder that Hange brought that was probably filled with many capable and professional bodyguard's, but all you could think about is the fact that despite it going against everything you believed in, you knew who you wanted on your side and you pushed him away, and you didn't know if you would ever get an opportunity like that ever again, or if it was already too late. Your heart squeezed at the thought, hoping you hadn't screwed this up for yourself.

You can't ignore the fact that getting involved with someone like Levi, someone who went against her most core of beliefs in almost everything, was just the complete opposite of everything that you've always separated from right and wrong. But even so, why was it so much easier to accept after all the back and forth you've had in your head to accept that there was an undeniable pull that you feel towards him that was making it hard to forget that you needed him just as much as he needed you, and probably a lot more now than ever before. Just when you thought everything had cleared up in your head, it feels like you're taking multiple steps back

You had a voice screaming in your head telling you what to do completely different things, making you feel guilty, ashamed, guarded, and cautious all at once. You didn't want this to be something you'll have to question as much as you have and its concerning for you that you still couldn't settle on one thing, You'd been so confident before when you made the decision on the spot, but once you let in the emotional part of your brain made you take it all back.

You should have known that once you entered Levi's world, there was no turning back from it and everything after that, that you shouldn't be shocked when he did something that didn't align with what you believed in, and it was all was just a matter of embracing it all and accepting that this is how things were now, and you couldn't do anything to change it. You wouldn't be able to escape a psycho killer without getting your hands dirty and that was reality now, and Levi won't be able to do things how he used to either.

-

The situation wasn't any better for Levi. He's spent the the next couple of hours after Onyankopon left his office to try and find something that he could occupy himself with, not wanting to get wrapped up in his twisted thoughts any longer. He just wanted one moment of peace, where he didn't have his thoughts chasing after him to tell him one thing one second and then another thing the next. It was driving him crazy and just like you, no matter how much he tried to shove it down, they all somehow managed to surface back. He kept wondering why he had to continue being tortured this way.

After pacing back and forth in his office for like half an hour trying to find something to do, because he couldn't go out and do deals, he finished his paperwork, all of his tasks were day were rescheduled and he was drawing a blank on anything else that could keep his mind off of this whole situation. But after a lot going back and forth, literally, Levi decided to do something as simple as just taking a nap. He usually didn't take a whole lot of naps, and even if he took one now, anything that could give him even the smallest of breaks from tension in his body is something he'd be on board with.

Which is why Levi has been laying down on his couch, with his body completely stretched out across the couch and with an arm over his eyes. He tried everything, trying to relax his breathing, try to focus on the silence in the room to lull him to sleep, and didn't move an inch from his position on the couch. His attempts to find peace did not last very long because he kept adjusting on the couch, fidgeting anxiously, and trying to get himself to find a relaxed state but it wasn't working.

But he should have expected that no matter what he did, you and every single screw up he's had when he's been with you would come back to bite him in the ass yet again. He wasn't even close to falling asleep, in fact, it seems that this was the perfect opportunity for Levi's brain to remind me exactly of the fact that he had screwed things up, with your voice taunting him yet again.

'How is that little girl going to feel when she grows up and she realizes that she survived because her mother died at her expense? Do you think she will ever be truly happy again?' Your words echoed in his mind and Levi's eyebrows pinched together as his face lightly twisted with the struggle of trying to forget that. He didn't want to think about this anymore than he had to. What the hell were doing to him? In all this commotion he's forgetting he barely knows you.

Its like his mind refused to let him settle down for a second until he started to see your point of view and started to see that there was a lot of truth in your words that he was willingly letting himself be blind to, to keep avoiding from any more change to come into his life. Though, even if he's still hoping you changed your mind this time and be the one to come him, he still had a hard time letting go of the routine, the life, and the beliefs that he's held onto for years.

As much as he hated to admit it, your words still swirled in his mind even when just hours ago he'd been relaxed thinking he was in the right. But that was up until the moment this voice in his head started to fill his mind with points you said before that he couldn't brush past. He would never admit it, but you'd broken through to him with your words in a way no one ever had. It wasn't the moment you spoke those moments, but it was when he was back in his office and he had time to reflect and mull over everything. This just continued to gnaw at him—he didn't want to care, didn't want to change, but here he was, haunted by the possibility that you might be right and that it was time he has to start changing his ways too, despite how hard he knows it'll be.

The official date, or rather theorized date, for the return of his powers continued to loom over him, because he had no guarantee that it would happen after the 28 days were up or what he had to do once the deadline arrived. Would you change your mind in time for you to come to him first or would Levi have to be the one step up? Would you remain firm as you've always been since he's met you? He just couldn't shake the fact that  maybe, just maybe, you could still teach him a little thing or two about the world beyond his own that he thought he understood so well already. But maybe he didn't know as much as he thought.

But as much as he hated to admit it, the fact that your words were still swirling around in his memory, meant that you'd managed to get through to some part of him and he knew that with an official date of a possible day in which he could get his powers back, it wasn't certain whether you'd have a change of heart before or after the 28 days passed, or even if you'd change your mind at all.

Those were the constant reminders that have not left his mind since even more details and inconveniences have presented themselves, and Levi knew that he couldn't afford to wait for you anymore, and at some point, if it was necessary, he would have to be the one to go to you once again and prove to you that you could trust him, that he could be committed to his job of being your bodyguard, not just because of his tattoo, but for your safety too.

You saying earlier that Levi had no idea what it was like for humans to feel guilt, remorse and regret, and that was one thing he could agree with you on. Since the moment Levi started making deals, he has always been numb to the pain and the desperation of people that he preyed on and that he got involved with, but how is it that three days passed and you were already starting to make him feel this way about a job he's done for centuries now?

He's tried to pretend that he wasn't bothered by this and assumes that everything is going to work out for him, but maybe that was his problem. He should've started to think about how things would work out for you if he kept deceiving you and dismissing you like he has? He admitted that the two of you were in this together and that it was necessary for the two of you to coexist and venefit from each other, but so far, he has proved to act in the exact opposite way.

Levi's eyebrows twitched, his closed eyes tightened slightly and his mouth was pressed into a thin line as he felt all of these thoughts start to consume him all over again, but also feeling his subconscious be just as hard at work to keep him from suppressing those thoughts that might get him out of this situation if he just listened to them.

All of this has struck a chord inside of him that couldn't let him think about anything else but this situation and it felt so foreign to him that he's only just now started to see the clarity that he'd been oblivious to for years. Even if the shred of progress he's having in changing his perspective was incredibly slow and it was still clouded by his stubborn thoughts trying to get him to remain as he's always been, without change.

And with that, Levi groaned and sat up from the couch, bringing up his legs and propping up his elbows on his legs, burying his head in his hands. Levi ran both of his hands back on his hair, gripping the ends of them with frustration. He couldn't even take a moment to sleep even if he wanted to, and sleep was already hard for him to come around. What else could he possibly do now to stop you from haunting his every thought and invading every fibre of his being to get him to see a new side of this? If only you could see him now, and show you how much he's truly trying to understand you but he just can't.

But then it hit him. Amid the tangled mess of thoughts swirling in his mind, one clarity emerged that made him finally know what he needed to do. His gaze shifted, and the decision settled in his chest, with certainty rising within him. He stood from the couch, ignoring the way that his hands began to shake slightly in a way they never have before. The answer had become very simple, feeling like it would be the only solution that would help him get a sense of everything. He had to go back to the hospital and he had to do it now.

He knew he wouldn't find his answers just sitting in his office, avoiding the thoughts that would eat him alive. He didn't know exactly what he hoped to find there. He knew seeing the little girl and her parents wouldn't magically solve his problems. He knew that now that he was at a somehow more clearer state of mind than before, not being driven to fix his human combustion, maybe he could see it differently. See it in the light he needed to and understand.

Maybe he could get a glimpse of what you'd been trying to show him all along—the fragility and complex nature of humans, the cost of decisions and the way humans lived with the weight of wanting the best for each other even if its at their own expense.  He was becoming less and less ashamed to admit that he was starting to know that he was doing this for the two of you, not just to help himself get ahead and not worry about just his own fate.

For a second, Levi thought that part of him didn't want to go because he was terrified of confronting the guilt that's been rapidly building up inside of him and let the walls he's worked so hard to put up just crumble to the ground in an instant. But the truth is, he just couldn't ignore it anymore, because the hospital was where everything went downhill again and the last place where any of this made sense to Levi. He was truly hoping he could find the one thing that could bring him peace amidst the chaos—something that he wished he'd held onto more dearly before it all went to hell without warning.

After that, Levi's feet just started moving without thinking and his mind was already racing ahead, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do this on his own anymore. He couldn't hide from the questions that continued to emerge minute by minute in his head. So, with a sharp breath, Levi headed straight for the door.

He started heading for the place that started all of this and where he hoped he could find some answers, and some clarity, even if it was just for a second. As he stormed out of his office with certainty in his stride and began heading straight for the parking lot to get his thoughts. All he could think about on the way to get his car was just the sole thought of hoping that he could run into that family, and maybe not interact right away or at all, but just to see if he could see with his own eyes a side of humans that you said he was failing to do just that and not be clouded with his powers taking over his thoughts unbearably.

Levi's reasons to do this were mixed. He still wanted access to his powers, but he also felt a newfound sense of responsibility towards you—one that crept up on him without warning. He wanted to protect you from that psycho, but even more than that, he knew that you two needed to understand each other. He was sure you were just as exhausted from this situation from the very moment the two of you met. Levi decided he would be the first one to start making steps to mend his mistakes on his end. This was the first step to do just that.

It was a rush of adrenaline from there on out. From the moment Levi got in his car, speedily drove back to the hospital, parked the car, got out and then started heading towards the entrance with a single goal in mind. He also noticed that once he stepped out of the Scouts Foundation building, that it had stopped raining.

He would've noticed it when he was in his office but he was far too caught up in his own turmoil to notice, so it was only when he stepped outside of his building that he noticed that the weather had changed. But he knew that because there were still dark clouds looming around in the sky, the weather would be dampening his mood again soon enough. So, he needed to do this before he changed his mind.

Though, the moment that Levi stepped into the hospital through the same doors that you'd stormed off from, a heavy feeling settled in Levi's chest and even though he's been here before, it felt like it was uncharted territory. He felt like he was seeing with completely different eyes when he wasn't blinded by all the desperation and torment that he was feeling before. Levi looked around the lobby and took tentative steps inside, slow and calculated. He didn't know where to go, where to look, where to start, and began to doubt why he was there at all.

But as he took a look around and started to wonder where to go from here, he was so distracted that the only thing that got him to snap out of his thoughts was the sudden feeling of someone bumping into his leg. Levi blinked himself out of his stupor and looked down to see that it was none other than the little girl he'd seen on a hospital bed for just a couple of hours. The one who's life he'd effectively ruined.

The same little girl who's mom he'd taken advantage of and now that she was out and about, he knew his powers had done their job and instead of feeling like he'd done a service to her and her family, all of what you said before came crawling back to him and he felt...guilt. Tremendous guilt crawled up his spine as Levi looked down and saw the girl looking up at him with impressionable, hopeful and wide eyes, wondering who this mysterious man in front of her was. He didn't think he'd start to feel the effects of the remorse you were telling him about until now, seeing that little girl with a much healthier and chipper appearance to her.

The little girl didn't say anything as she continued to stare up at Levi with wonder, but what made Levi look away from her is hearing another voice approaching from afar, along with hurried footsteps. "Sweetheart, be careful," The girl's father said as he rushed over to his daughter and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking down at her for a moment, but then quickly straightened up, looked up at Levi apologetically. "I'm so sorry, sir. She was just getting a cup of water," The father said, and Levi looked at the man and then back down at the little girl, seeing her holding a plastic cup of water similar to the one that Levi had asked you to hold for him before. Everything was reminding him of what he did.

"It's fine," Levi said, a bit absentmindedly, but that seemed to give the father in front of him comfort. The man looked down again and gave his daughter a gentle smile, squeezing her shoulder lightly. "Hey, what do we say?" The father asked his daughter, and the little girl looked down with embarrassment creeping in and began to fiddle with her cup of water nervously. "I'm sorry," She said in a small, yet adorable voice that made Levi look down at her nod silently at her words. He was in too much of a daze anyway and she was so small that he barely felt when she knocked into him. But even so, he felt like this was finally his chance to start to see the deeper side of humans that he was desperately trying to comprehend.

Levi didn't say anything else, but he did start to kneel down so he was facing the girl directly. He usually kept a permanent glare and this striking gaze that humans he met would buckle under, but as he looked at this little girl, that gaze that is usually so intimidating and menacing, was now soft, gentle, and kind.

And he wasn't faking it. He wanted to talk to this little girl even if it was for just a couple minutes, to see what is it that the wish he granted was able to do for her, or simply who it is that he granted the wish to. The little girl was looking directly into Levi's eyes too with curiosity, not feeling scared at all towards the stranger in front of her.

This was usually the opposite reaction that most people got when Levi really wanted to show fear, display a certain presence to him, or simply stood in front of a human and they would cower back. But he could tell that this little girl was very brave, looking at Levi with a sense of trust that he could sense. And because of that, he started to feel this sinking feeling in his heart.

Levi ignored the feeling of a void inside him suddenly filling up with regret. He regarded the little girl with a tender and compassionate look on his face, that even if once again it felt completely foreign to him to display that kind of emotion, he still remained as understanding as he could, knowing what this little girl has gone through hell and back and was still smiling.

He knew that he probably gave her and her family just temporary bliss that would crash down when she's older and even if it's only been a couple hours, that he's starting to feel the remorse you were talking about settle in. He's always been able to separate his emotions from his deals and didn't think about what the future of the humans that he made deals with would be, but this was different. You made him start to see it differently.

Levi swallowed the bile in his throat and spoke with care and gentleness to the girl. "What's your name?" Levi asked, realizing that he had never asked any of the people he's made deals with any part of their lives but simply granted whatever desires they wanted granted, despite their personal lives in order to avoid unnecessary attachment to the people he knows deep down he's screwed over, whether they're good or bad people in the world. The little girl giggled and smiled at Levi in such a childlike and endearing manner that it just gave Levi another pang to his heart. "My name's Kaya," She answered and Levi nodded along.

Since he was kneeling down on one knee, Levi propped up his forearms on his knee. "Is there anything that you've always wanted?" He asked, but not for the sake of wanting to do a deal or anything, but just to get more of a glimpse of the simplicity of humans that he was failing to see. The one you had been telling him that he had no way of comprehending. But instead of the little girl answering, Levi looked up when he heard that her father had let out a hearty chuckle.

He walked over to stand behind his daughter and put both of his hands on his daughter's shoulder, knowing his daughter was still a little shy. But he was more than happy to answer Levi's question, because of how elated he knew his daughter really was. "Well, her biggest wish is about to come true. Today's her 10th birthday and she's spending it outside of the hospital for the first time," The father said, and Kaya giggled once more as she looked up at her dad and then back at Levi. But as soon as Levi heard those words, something flashed in his eyes.

His eyes wavered a bit as he saw the bond this little girl shared with his father, those she cared about. It forced Levi to shove down the lump that was forming in his throat as he was forced to continue what he wanted to say, even if he was feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions inside that didn't let him think. "Is that really your wish?" Levi managed to say, showing even a shred to these people of how much it meant for him to hear that girl's wish, to be healthy again and be able to go out with her parents while living a prosperous life.

How could he have become so numb to the pain and assume that while all humans shared similar emotions, they ranged farther from what he ever thought he could imagine? He tried not to show the discomfort and the sense of guilt that was taking over in his eyes when he spoke to this little girl, finally starting to see the hurt Levi inevitably caused this family in the future even if they were happy now.

Before, he's mostly made deals with humans, but not all of them, who's only wish was to make selfish bargains for themselves and nobody else. But this little girl, she had such an innocent wish to just get a chance to life a healthy life with her family and it strikes such a chord of purity and hope inside Levi that makes him doubt if what he's feeling is real, because he's never felt such a sense of apathy and compassion for anyone before.

This girl has single-handedly cracked through the emotional wall he's held up for 200 years, and the pang in his chest is beginning to make itself more known. Is he regretting granting her mother's wish? Or is he glad that he could at least give her the chance to be healthy on her birthday of all days? The most important day to this little girl it seems. Levi truly didn't know what to think now and his head felt more jumbled than ever.

To this little girl and her father, Levi may seem unaffected by what he was being told, but he couldn't hide the way his expression softened with a twinge of sadness and regret behind it. He listened to what this girl really wanted, and to her and her dad, and to anyone else around, for the first time Levi didn't seem menacing and like someone who's a being that's out to make a deal for selfish gain, but simply who wants to listen and get a new perspective.

But what shocked Levi the most was what the little girl said next. "Dad, that's not my wish," She said as she looked up at her dad again, and her words made her dad's eyes widen a fraction and then the girl looked back at Levi, who tilted his head to the side in confusion, realizing that there was something else that this girl really wanted aside from just being able to spend the first day out of the hospital in. a long time for her birthday. "It's not?" Levi questioned, and she shook her head as her blond locks moved with her. Levi adjusted her arms on his knee and wondered with intrigue what it is that she truly wanted as her biggest wish.

"Then what is it?" Levi inquired, and the girl smiled innocently and raised her hand, making a 'come closer' gesture with her finger at Levi. He was quick to understand and leaned forward, with his ear closer to the girl. It took a couple seconds in between excited giggles but she leaned forward too and whispered. "My only wish...is for my parents to not have to suffer anymore because of me," She said, leaning away, while Levi remained frozen as soon as he heard that.

That was the final nail on the coffin. What she'd asked, is exactly what he'd already put into action just a few hours before and he knows he can't take back his deal. He'd already sworn into the universe that his parents, and her, will suffer in the future, but not because of her; because of him. It was all because of him. He granted her mother's wish, but at what cost? He'd unknowingly tore this girl's world apart and the girl's wish would not come true. Not in the way she wants it to.

When the little girl pulled away and moved back to where she was before, leaving her father wondering what she whispered to the raven-haired man, Levi was at a loss. He was frozen, stuck in place, and unable to move. What the little girl said replayed over and over in his head, along with everything else that happened that day that led him to find out about this. He thought the heavy price would have to be paid years later, but it felt like he was paying most of the price for what he caused.

This girl is so innocent, bright and so unaware of the consequences of what Levi had brought upon them. He's questioning everything he's ever done and realizing how many lives he's truly ruined, just to keep himself alive, thinking he was doing the world a favor by trying to get rid of the worst possible people out there and also granting whatever humans wanted. But it ran so much deeper than he thought. He's never felt the weight in his conscience of a deal he's made, but now, he can't shake off the fact that you were right. He was so quick to try and save himself that he didn't realize he had caused so much damage to innocent people

Maybe...he could tweak his system, just a little bit. A system in which he doesn't have to feel so indifferent towards making deals with humans and taking advantage of them, because the terms are something he could never change, he's unable to escape the nature from the job that's the only thing he's ever known, but he could change his way of seeing it and perceiving the way he interacts with humans. Appeal to their human nature and make them feel like their deals weren't just for his own self gain, but even despite the circumstances and the conditions, but that it would also give them an opportunity to choose. To think about what they're getting into, even if they end up declining doing it at all. Just as you'd told him.

He was so out of it that the only thing that brought him back down to Earth was the voice of a woman, but not just any woman, but the woman who he'd made a deal with and who was destined to meet her demise far sooner than she was meant to. "Kaya! Honey! Let's go!" The woman said from across the hall with a bright smile on her face. She was all done up so she can go have lunch with her family and spend the day with them. Levi kept his head down and avoided to be recognized by the woman she met a couple hours ago, and watched as the father and girl turned around with bright and joyous smiles at the sound of the woman.

"Mommy!" The little girl exclaimed as she beamed and immediately started running towards her mom. The woman started running at the same time as her daughter so they could meet halfway. The father smiled at the sight and started walking towards them. "Kaya! Don't run, you'll trip. Goodness..." The dad chuckled, but then was quick to remember about Levi's presence. So, as Levi stood back up, the father turned back around to face Levi and regarded him with compassion, knowing that just having that small conversation with her daughter must have made her happy since she got to share what her biggest wish in life was.

"Have a good day, sir," The father said with a wholehearted grin, and Levi nodded numbly as he got back up on his feet and watched in the distance the little girl reach her mother, seeing them embrace once they got to each other. The father quickly started to jog to get to his family as his laughs resonated across the hall and Levi watched it all happen in silence. He had nothing else to think, to say, or to do, except watch how the family that he's torn apart gets farther away. He watched as they walked away, hand in hand, with their daughter in the middle. She had a little excited skip in her step as her parents swung her arms back and forth.

How can he possibly live with this realization and still not be able to break free from the system that he's trapped in? These inevitable costs where pain and suffering will follow no matter what? He was starting to understand that you had your reasons to be horrified for seeing what you did, and you didn't deserve to be called selfish for it. There was a transactional nature to his job where even the most innocent of people get wrapped up in it, and he thought that everything had a reward behind it and something in return.

He was starting to see that there was a lot of truth behind what you said and that he shouldn't have lied to you, hid things from you, and dragged you to see one of his deals. You and Levi were very different, and he hates that it's taken him this long to realize that his job wasn't as simple and one-sided as he thought it was. There was so much depth that he hadn't even begun to scratch the surface, but he was willing to try from now on.

Maybe the way to get through this situation with his tattoo, his powers, and your killer, was to start to see each other's perspective. How could he have not realized that the moment he met you, the walls he'd built up for years to avoid emotional consequences from what he does on the daily had started to come down and he'd refused to believe it was happening at all.

He didn't want to think there was any kind of humanity behind his actions since he's always felt different to humans in every way, whether it was superiority in his abilities and wanting to not mix emotions with his job, but he couldn't ignore his struggle to suppress it anymore. He still had a long way to go, and he was only scratching the surface on beginning to understand you and you were telling him about, but being the one who takes the step forward to admit it was the very first step he decided that he'd take. He knew he needed to go and find you.

Levi doesn't think he can ever fully change his ways, the nature of his job, but starting to stop hiding his emotions under his usual cold demeanor was a good place to start. He told you humans can't separate emotions from what's important, but Levi is realizing that neither can he and all it took was for him to was just to talk to that little girl and see her perspective for a decision and sacrifice her mother took. He has never been devoid of emotion, or indifferent or unfeeling, he just felt prideful in the fact that he's been able to hide it better than most. But one thought that hasn't changed is the ever conflicting thought that humans, to Levi, were as difficult as ever to understand. There was still no denying that.

-

On your end, a few more hours had passed, it was just a little past noon, and you had been trying to continue your day as best as you could. After getting the briefcase and folder from Hange, briefly looking over the candidates to be your bodyguard, you'd looked over to the time and realized you had to go to a meeting soon with some investors. So you left everything at your desk and decided to set up the items in the briefcase later since Hange was coming with you to the meeting and you wouldn't be alone. You decided you'd do it as soon as you came back.

And that was where you were now. You were at a high-end restaurant that's renowned in the city and that's where the investors you were meeting up with decided where the meeting would be. You were sitting in a three person table, with you in front of them, and the two of the investors in front of you sitting next to each other. Hange was on the table right behind you just minding their business and finishing up their own work while also being there if you needed anything. For the most part, you'd be able to block out any unnecessary thoughts that had nothing to do with what you were doing at the moment. Though, there were some slip-ups.

Your mind during the meeting switched back from topics like; Your meeting, Levi, your meeting, Levi, Levi, your meeting, and it has continued to be like that the entire time, not letting it show on your face as you listened intently to what the two investors in front of you were saying. You needed to start building up more connections for your company after the blow it took, so you couldn't get distracted by anything. Not for that psycho, not for Levi, or anything else that wasn't related to what you've locked in your mind to focus on. You had a job and you were committed to it. Nothing or anyone was ever going to change that.

"We've taken notice that the fashion impact in Paradis has taken a peak these days. There are styles that have been in the market for ages and are already popular enough," They started, and you nodded along as you reached over to the cup of tea in front of you, wrapping your fingers around the handle, and bringing it up to your lips as you listened intently to the words that your investors were trying get across. But as you took a sip, your eye caught something in the corner of your eye.

Your eyes caught a server bringing over a cake over to a table of a family of 3, but not just any family. The family of the little girl and the mother you and Levi met with just a couple hours ago when he'd made that deal. You saw that the parents cheered when the cake was brought over and your heart melted and your features fell in sadness when you saw the brightest smile on that little girl's face, that you'd seen just hours ago gasping for breath and to stay alive.

Levi's deal worked then, huh? She looked so healthy and bright, devoid of any sadness or struggle. You knew that anyone who saw the sight you were seeing would think its wholesome and very endearing to see, but after what you knew, it's hard to see it that way. You knew the future of that family and it haunted you no matter how much you avoided it. What was the universe trying to tell you?

Though, despite the tugging of your heartstrings that you felt for this family from afar, you forced your face to remain neutral knowing that there were eyes on you from your investors, but how could you? You were trying to desperately try to avoid anything that reminded you of what happened and now it was just a couple feet away from you.

That little girl looked so happy and joyful, her parents are sitting in front of her celebrating their daughter and made sure she felt special, especially after everything she's been through and how strong she's been. That alone made your heart wrench in a thousand different ways. Your heart ached for this family.

From the conversation you could hear from afar, you could briefly catch her parents asking her how many candles on the cake were there, which she answered with a beaming smile. It was this little girl's birthday. She had been in extreme pain earlier today, her mother desperate to see her live, and all of that happened in this little girl's special day.

But she also got the health her parents wanted for her from Levi's deal in the day it marks another year that she's alive, and yet, it's also the day her mother signed her life away for her daughter. Was that a part of the reason that she agreed so quickly to Levi's deal? How ironic was that? All of this got that more twisted as more things came to your attention and it was saddening.

You'd sworn to yourself that you'd focus on work and only your work from here on out to try to get your mind out the situation you were avidly trying to avoid, but it was becoming harder and harder to avoid. And it didn't end there.

Your breath hitched and you kicked yourself for not being able to stay neutral and professional or able to control your emotions but you felt tears start to gather behind your eyes when you heard from afar the moment that both parents started to sign happy birthday to their little girl.

The smile on that little girl's face was so priceless that made you feel a hurtful pang in your chest. Seeing them finish the birthday song and watching the little girl blow out her candles with the biggest grin on her face was all you needed for the waterworks announce their entrance.

What was the matter with you? You were supposed to be in a business meeting and you were using every fibre of your being not to fall apart right then and there. You needed this deal to go through and you couldn't even do that like you used to. These were strangers but your heart ached for them, not being able to unsee what you witnessed.

You hated being such an emotional person that couldn't contain themselves just watching a family spending time together, but a part of your brain argued that what happened was far too recent for you to feel heartless if you didn't end up reacting in some way. You just hated feeling that you wanted to cry.

The good thing is that the investors had paused the conversation and what they'd been pitching to you to start reviewing some things amongst each other. But the moment they heard a sniffle, not so discreetly from your part, they saw that your attention was elsewhere. They looked at each other and then back at you with concern etched in their tone.

"Miss, are you alright?" One of them asked, and the question was loud enough for Hange on the table behind you to perk up and look up from their tablet as they pushed up their glasses and tried to analyze the situation that prompted for them to ask that, but they couldn't see your face.

You got your bearings back quickly and cleared your throat, looking at them apologetically. "Oh- Yes, I am very sorry. Please, continue," You said, trying to hide the pain in your tone and attempted to try to sound neutral. You cursed at yourself in your head. It's the second time today that this has happened. What's the matter with you? You needed to pull yourself together, you couldn't do your job like this.

But how could you witness that family look so happy now when you knew what awaited them in the future? You knew you would never see them again after today, but this has stuck with you a lot longer than you thought and you just wanted to move on. Move on from all of this. Why couldn't you do that?

All you could replay in your mind as you kept your focus away from the family was the words that mother said back at the hospital and along with the image of how teary and happy she looked celebrating her daughter's birthday just now flashed in your mind. 'Just tell me what I need to do. I...I would go to worse places than hell to make sure my daughter lives and that she's happy'. It echoed over and over in your head and it destroyed you further every single time.

You watched the way that the investors looked at each other with uncertainty but did as you asked and continued the meeting. This time, as much as you've already promised yourself that you wouldn't get distracted and the opposite happens, you kept your eyes and attention firm on the two investors as you had paused the conversation and what they'd been pitching to you to start reviewing some things amongst each other. to hear their proposal and kept a mental note on everything they were saying. You blocked out the voices of everyone else.

You could also feel Hange's suspicious gaze on you. You were being far too obvious and weren't being discreet at all. At this point, you weren't fooling anybody, especially Hange. As the days, and especially today, have went on, their concern for you grew. You weren't hiding it by now, and that was on you. But thankfully, as soon as the meeting was over, you bid goodbye to the investors and you and Hange were headed back to the office. They didn't mention or hint at it once.

By the look on your face as soon as the two of you started heading out, you definitely looked like talking about it was the last thing on your mind. Hange was perfectly content with waiting until you were ready to come to them, because when it came to your problems, it was a little different than your usual conversations every day.

It was a whole other territory for you. They respected that, just as they always have. They were your most trusted employee and friend for a reason, but you've learned to be independent, and they trusted you to know when you couldn't handle things on your own anymore. It had always been this way between you two.

Still, the tension that inside Hange as all of their thoughts threatened to come out all at once didn't let up. They've seen you struggle a lot recently, and even more since Levi came into the picture, and what happened in that meeting triggered an instinct to help you deep inside them. They couldn't pretend they didn't notice it anymore.

They wanted to help so badly, but they couldn't bring themselves to break the boundary between the two of you. It happened in the product pitch before, they let it go, but it happened again now and they didn't think they could do it again. It was harder to pretend seeing you like this wasn't worrying them.

You're showing more and more signs of deep-seated turmoil, which is something you usually kept separate from work. It was so clear that this was far bigger than you were letting on and it was hard for Hange to sit back and do nothing just because their job as your assistant came first and they didn't want to cross a line, knowing how fragile you are right now.

They knew you also considered them a friend, a very close one, and they want you to be able to talk to them because they know that between the psycho investigation, whatever you may have going on with Levi, and your issues with your family, they have no idea how you're still holding it together and they admired you for being so strong and resilient.

Once the two of you were back in the car, Hange's worry continued to grow. Turns out that just as the two of you got back in the car, it started raining again and a lot harder this time. By the time the two of you were out on the road, it was pouring down rain on the car as Hange drove the two of your back to the office.

It was so hard to see anything outside that you couldn't pass time by watching out the window so you just decided to tip your head back against your seat and closed your eyes with a soft sigh that caught Hange's attention. They glanced at you through the rearview mirror and realized that must be the only thing to bring you peace right now; to just listen to the rain, close your eyes and let your mind go.

They could see it in the creases in areas of your face like your forehead, your eyes, your lips, that there was just a lot on your plate that Hange bet that you were trying to do all by yourself. They just wanted you to know that you didn't have to. They'd always be right there with you no matter what, whether you asked for help or stayed silent, Hange's loyalty to you was never wavering, not for a long time.

But after a long car ride of trying to push out any attempts at recalling how horrendously this day has gone, and wishing over and over that it would just be over already, you suddenly felt the car halt, but haven't opened your eyes yet, and the sound of the engine of the car running was drowned out by the heavy rain outside.

You had been resting your eyes the entire time but you were still hearing your surroundings very clearly. Confusion suddenly filled your entire body because you assumed that because of the rain, Hange would be parking inside and when they stopped the car, you wouldn't be hearing the rain anymore. But you were.

Hange put the car in neutral, having parked it in front of the building and not in the garage. Then, they looked through the rearview mirror to see you were still resting your eyes. They were going to drop you off at the garage at first, but then, before arriving back at the building, just as Hange had neared it, they saw a familiar figure standing outside on the curb with an umbrella, so, they could immediately tell who it was and was able to deduce why that person was standing there and instead, Hange would follow that person's plan and drop you off here instead.

After feeling that the car had stopped outside, your eyes opened slowly when you heard Hange's honey-coated voice get you back down to Earth. "We're here, y/n. I'll go park the car," Hange said, and when they said this, your mind went blank for a second. They were dropping you off here? It was raining hard outside and it would be better if they parked the car inside and the two of you took the elevator up to the office.

You looked to the window on your left and saw that it was barely visible to see outside because of the rain. "But there's no valet outside with umbrellas, Hange. It's pouring rain outside. How do I get to the entrance?" You asked, knowing that your assistant was dropping you off here for a reason.

Hange turned their head to the side to hide the mischievous smirk on their face as they raised their right hand and pointed outside. "Look," They said, and your eyebrows pinched together at their words. Why would they want you to look outside? If you could barely see something on one side, why would you be able to see anything on the other. But either way, you were too drained to try and ask them why, so you just did what they asked. You turned your head to the side, expecting to see nothing that important, but the moment you did, they proved you wrong.

You unbuckled your seatbelt with an involuntary sigh, but as you turned your body and prepared to open the door, your breath caught in your throat when your eyes saw what Hange had told you to look at. Your heart skipped a beat, and then seemed to stutter right into an erratic rhythm that was confusing you and leaving you even more speechless. Its like it forgot to function properly and it has a mind of its own, despite how everything that had left a mark with you that very morning.

There, outside your door, was Levi. The shock was instant the moment you recognized him, the whole world narrowed down to the sound of your heart-beat pounding in your ears.  Was he really there? Was this really happening? Had the universe listened to the thoughts you'd pushed to the back of your head.

Your eyes went from scanning him up and down to see if you were really imagining things, over to flitting to the umbrella in his hand, a silent offer to you, meant to shield you from the heavy rainfall the moment you stepped out of the car. This was just the last thing you expected to see. You just hoped to have gone back to work and let the day pass, and do the same with every day after that.

Your body felt frozen, locked in place, as though the movement would shatter the moment and reveal that this was a figment of your imagination that your mind is fabricating to reveal just how out of sync and jumbled your thoughts had become, and also giving you a reality check on just how much you were hoping you could patch things up with Levi after that argument.

You didn't think he would be the one that would be coming to you, this wasn't supposed to happen. Not after that morning. You'd told him that after learning what his ways were really like, he didn't need to be your bodyguard anymore and you insisted that he was free to deal with his own problems any way the wanted, on his own terms., that he wasn't tied to you anymore. You had been so decisive then, knowing how much you wanted to stick to them, but now looking back it, it felt like an entirely different version of you, one that didn't have a say in this anymore.

You thought that argument would be it, that it would be the end of it. You and Levi were on completely different perspectives, paths, and beliefs that didn't seem like they'd ever align. What he did went against everything you believed in, and that you were sure that you could find a solution to your problems alone, in your own way, without him, but now he was here. His appearance, was so unexpected, so close, just separated by a car door, and it was making your stomach twist.

You thought that if you saw him again, that you wouldn't be as bothered as you were, that you'd be calm, detached, maybe angry? You didn't know. But now that he was here, just a couple of hours later, you were just confused. Why was he here? What was he hoping to do? To apologize? To get you to understand? Or was he looking for trouble, even more than the two of you were already in?

You tried to move on from this, when it hasn't even been a full day, you really did. You'd fully convinced yourself that seeing him again wouldn't affect you anymore, but it would surely affect him. Earlier, Hange had handed you a folder full of possible bodyguard candidates, and you held onto it, trying to understand the loss that followed, knowing what you were letting go of exactly who you were looking for.

No matter how good they were at their jobs and how impressive they were, you knew that despite your clashing, none of them could do what Levi was capable of. His powers, his cold professionalism when it came to showing emotion when it was necessary, his clear unwavering resolve that he's already demonstrated to you and the way he made you undoubtedly feel safe in a way you couldn't possibly describe now. No one else could replicate that, and you were aware from that.

That realization you had before only brought more guilt of having left Levi behind, followed by frustration because you wanted to stand by what you said. You were so sure that walking away and leaving at the moment was the right thing to do.

You knew deep down that he would have always been the better choice, but you wanted to move on and stay true to what you said. But now, he was standing outside your car, making you question once again everything that you'd already settled on. All of it. And you hated it.

You needed to face him again, and talk to him, because until then you won't ever feel at ease. You inhaled sharply and opened the door, and because of him, the rain didn't land on you because he held his umbrella firmly overtop of you. And by the looks of it, he was holding it more towards you, so you quickly realized that hie entire back must be getting soaked with rain.

You had been avoiding eye contact from the moment you opened up the car door, but when you finally got the courage to look up and make eye contact with him, you felt any words that were about to come out of your mouth suddenly get caught up in your throat. You looked up at Levi as your mouth remained agape and in shock, and not just because of his presence in front of you in that moment, but by the way he was looking down at you.

You've never seen him regard you in the way that he is now, not when he tried to trick you, not when he tried to make himself seem different, and especially when he saved you and it was solely to save his tattoo. He was looking down at you and only you.

His gray eyes were so gentle, so sincere and they were darting all over your face in such silent and subtle desperation in them that made you wonder if he's been having the same dilemmas as you all day long. If he had been thinking about how much he wanted to understand you just as much as you'd been thinking about trying to understand him. 

Your expression mirrored his almost by instinct, by seeing just how vulnerable he was willing to show you he could be. But even so, you hesitated, and the air felt thick, charged, and neither of you knew what the next step should be. But, you finally forced yourself to move, with your feet feeling stiff and stuck to the ground before you stepped out the car. The door clicked shut when you closed it behind you, but the sound felt so distant and muffled compared to the tension between the two of you in that moment.

Levi took a half-step back, keeping his eyes firm on you, as his movements remained deliberate and cautious. He was trying to show exactly the kind of bodyguard he could be if you just gave him another opportunity to show you that he could be exactly what you originally thought that you wanted when you asked him to be your bodyguard. He didn't want you to get caught by the rain, even though his movements were so precise that he was careful to help you escape the water droplets that could fall on you.

You watched in the corner of your eye as Hange drove the car away and you slowly took a couple more steps away from the curb, making the distance between you and hi, felt far heavier and different to digest all at once. Now, you were standing in front of him face-to-face and neither of you dared to move any closer. Neither of you spoke.

The rain fell steadily around the two of you but neither of you seemed to notice and the sound completely muffled out for the both of you. The silence stretched on, heavy and uncomfortable, knowing that both of you had a lot to say, but it was also clear that Levi's presence alone meant that he had been thinking about this just as much as you were.

There was something unspoken between the two of you, something that neither of you could seem to break, and you just couldn't help but wonder—who would be the one to speak first? Or was it possible to break the silence without saying the wrong thing  and changing everything from how the other perceived it?

You could tell by the look on his face that there was something he wanted to say but he just can't seem to find the right words. Understanding that all too well, your eyes and your features became softer and forgiving, giving him all the time he needed to say what he needed to say.

You didn't mind standing out here in the rain if it meant that the two of you could finally begin to understand one another a little better and the argument could be put past the two of you. You just wanted to start over and start to move forward, with him.

So because of that, wanting for this to be the moment of emotional clarity that you'd been looking for, you thought you could be the one to break the silence, but it seems Levi was quick to beat you to it. "I just wanted to say...." He started, and he looked down for a second as he visibly struggled to find the words and what he could say next.

"I was just thinking that...I thought about what you said. So, I decided that I'll do this on your terms. I promise," He said and your eyes widened in surprise. What managed to change his mind? How was he able to go from the point of view he had that morning to telling you now that he's willing to do things in a way that he'd been so against of?

You looked at him and gave him a wavering smile as your eyes softened with relief at what you were hearing. He'd be willing to learn from you just as much as you were going to be willing to learn from him. "You will? Really?" You said as you unknowingly took a couple steps closer to him, because the distance with him just didn't feel as heavy as it did. It was slowly starting to lessen.

Levi nodded at your words, and you immediately beamed at him with happiness, even if there was still some hesitance behind your eyes. "No more tricks?" You asked, knowing that if you and him were in this together again, you wouldn't have to wonder whether he'd be lying to you whenever he spoke to you or if he's leading you somewhere without telling you, or just avoid to tell you things in general like before. You want to have a clean slate with him.

He nodded his head in confirmation to your words. "No more tricks," He said, and his eyes were filled with so much certainty, that you took a chance, and decided you would your trust in him. You've always had trouble just letting people into your life because of past experiences, which is why you're only close with a certain number of people, and when you'd decided to start associating yourself with Levi, you never fully trusted him and even more so when he pulled all the stunts that he did. But after all of this, you realized in that moment when he made that promise, your doubts about him were finally able to vanish and you know you can truly believe Levi to have your trust now.

Despite everything he's already shown you, somehow this small gesture shows you that even with his beliefs, he does have the ability to protect her and wants to genuinely do it and not just for his tattoo or any other ulterior motives. You're lowering your guard just enough to let him back into your life, and not just professionally as your bodyguard, but in a personal level too.

And your thoughts just strengthened with his next few words; "It's true that I'm on running out of time, and that I do need to be your bodyguard and do deals just to survive, but I've learned some things. I'll admit that it might take me a while, but I'm willing to learn if you're the one to teach me," He said and you gave him a teary smile as you realized that those are the only words you wanted to hear from him.

A simple gesture from him where he can prove to you that he's willing to listen to you, just as much as you'd be willing to do the same for him. Him just holding this umbrella over you shows you how much he wants to prove that he's capable to protect you, how loyal he can be to you and care for your safety, despite any disagreements you've both had before.

Even if you decided to be the one to walk away first, he was here in front of you and showing you his commitment to you. He was willing to put it all on the line to be exactly what you need, physically and emotionally. Seeing the vulnerable side of him, that you so deeply wanted to see before, instead of seeing such an unfeeling and heartless person that seems to only care about the misfortune of others for his own gain, is exactly what you wanted.

Knowing him to be so cold and blunt, it was refreshing to see such a genuine and selfless side of him that you hoped to see more of once you got to get to know him a little bit more. Even when she wasn't the one who ended up going to him, he's still willing to be there for you even when his life is on the line too. What he's doing for you now, to Levi, is a silent apology to you. And on your end, you know that it's only right that you accept and recognize it. As hard as it was for you to admit before.

You smiled wholeheartedly at him and let out a shaky breath. You fiddled with your fingers lightly in front of you, suddenly feeling shy to say what you'd been thinking about too. If he could do it, you could do it too. "I'm willing to do the same. I'm sorry I was so rash before. I was really freaked out because It all happened so fast and-" You started, but then you were cut off when Levi raised his free hand and waved you off so he could interject.

"It's fine. I shouldn't have expected you to understand right off the bat. I get it, it must have been...really hard to witness," He admitted and you nodded as the memory of that very morning flashed through your mind. It really set off a fight or flight response in you and you should've thought it through. Though, even if your stance didn't change, you were willing to tweak it to fit his perspective and his point of view.

You just push him away because of your pride because of what you believed in, your fear from what you witnessed, and your confusion from trying to understand all of it. You know that you don't just need him as your bodyguard, but also someone you can rely on in a personal level during difficult times. And you'd do the same for him.

You can't continue to pretend that you were as invulnerable as you thought you were and that you could handle and face everything alone. Levi has started to make cracks in those walls that you've spent years putting up a lot faster than you thought, and you realized that you have to stop trying to convince yourself that the problems in your life right now aren't as big as they truly are in a way to make yourself feel better. But with Levi by your side now, you more than ever now that you could face the problems that were becoming increasingly dangerous in your life with more security.

You realize now that maybe your decision to step away from Levi might come from a place of trying to, once again, try to handle everything on your own and do things your way. With the imminent personal threats, your strained relationship with your family, and the pressure of your professional life, you knew somehow in the back of your head that not wanting to join Levi's world and what he does would just add to that and you avoided it.

But seeing him stand in front of you just reminds you that the situation has changed for the both of you and that with the threats to your safety every day, you knew that you needed someone like Levi that you can trust to protect you. You were in over your head before, and that letting Levi back in wasn't just about how much her feeling and opinion towards him have changed, but its become a matter of survival. For both of you. You continued to smile up at him with willingness and acceptance.

"It was. But just know...that I do trust you. I'm willing to learn from you, too. And I would love it if you would still be my bodyguard. The position is still open, if you still want it, that is," You said, with a lightly teasing him at the end. You watched as he smirked in return and returned your gesture, making your smile widen.

"Really? You haven't replaced me yet?" He teased back, noticing that you're starting to walk forward towards the building's entrance and he made sure to follow you with the umbrella always on top of you. You looked to your side, keeping your gaze focused on him as you shook your head with a smile that has yet to leave your face.

"Never," You said, earning a small tug on his lips that was so subtle you could only notice since you were standing so close to him. But as the two of you made your way inside, you had a feeling, a good feeling, that everything would start to look up now.

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Hi! As I said before at the beginning, I'm so glad I'm able to post this on Christmas like I hoped because I wanted this to be my gift to all of you :,) And that I also hope to publish a one or two more before New Years!

I just wanted to say how happy I am for all of you who are reading this story because It wouldn't be where it is without all of you here so thank you so, so much! I'm extremely grateful for every reader on here and I'm so excited to continue this story and for all of you to read what I have in store! Hope you're all as excited for where this story is going as I am!

I hope that this book continues to grow and that you guys have all an amazing holiday season! Thank you for everything! Since I started this book a couple months ago, you guys have really made this a great experience and I can't thank all you enough for that!

I also had major writer's block with this chapter- you guys have no idea lmao but I got past it! I'm sorry I wasn't able to update on Sunday like I usually do, but once again, writer's block got me shsj I know this was a long one too so please let me know if you guys would like me to keep this length or make them a little shorter. I'm trying to find a balance!

But, anyway, I'll see you guys on Sunday (hopefully before with a double update) with the next chapter! Love you all so much! Thank you for everything again and see you in the next one! Love you all! XO
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