𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍 || 𝘋𝘰 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘖𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴

WASHINGTON WASN'T IDEALLY WHERE NOVA WANTED TO BE STATIONED. There were a million other places she would've preferred. California, San Fransico, Toronto, and Siberia would've done her some good. But she was roped into staying her indefinitely until time called for her to be stationed elsewhere. At least back in New York, the weather was mixed. There were downpours of rain, and busy streets filled with people having places to be. Winters were cold yet beautiful during the right time of night. Now, she was stuck in a state and city that was the birthing grounds of politics and where Fury needed her to be. Two things she hated the most

But the city had its perks and one was across the street of a rundown neighbourhood. The house was old. The paint was chipping off the wooden structure and the fence surrounding the perimeter was rusted from the changing seasons each year. The grass was dead and the few apple trees that lined the edge of the land were now dead. And the old play house at the back that could just barely be spotted was broken. One of the ropes holding a swing had snapped, the side of the seat dragging in the mud.

Pushing off the side of her car, Nova crossed the quiet street and approached the front gate. Carefully scanning the windows, wary that her arrival would come suddenly. But she needed to hide away for a few hours.

Undoing the latch on the gate, she pushed it open. The harsh squeal of the rusted hinges sliced her eardrums as she closed it, locking it. Walking up the old creaky steps of the deck, she stopped just at the door. Fists clenching by her side with a deep sigh falling from her lips. "This is going to suck," she muttered, lifting her fist and knocking.

A faint commotion could be heard inside. It took a few moments before the door creaked open. Those familiar wavy strands of hair had her smiling softly. Especially when those brown orbs appeared.

"Long time no see, Book."

The door swung open with her body was lifted into a tight hold. Unable to wave away the smile that formed on her face with her arms curling around the man's body. His mahogany wood scent was still paramount. Those calloused palms were still soft to her. And his loving personality hadn't seemed to wear off.

"My baby sister! Back home to visit her brother! I never thought I would witness the day!" The man grunted jovially, kissing Nova's forehead.

The faint squeeze of his arms around her caused the woman to grunt, slapping his chest as she yelled, "Put me down, you big oaf! You might snap me in half."

Booker laughed, placing Nova back down on her two feet. "What got you coming all the way out here? Did Dad send you to check in on me?"

Nova laughed. "Is it a crime to come see my big brother?" Booker rolled his eyes, quickly walking away to grab a garbage bag and began to clean. Only then did Nova take notice of Booker's living space and she felt her heart welt in pain.

The living room was littered with cigarette buds and beer bottles. A few buds hadn't even made it to the ashtray with smudge and burn marks scarring the coffee table. Toppled-over whiskey bottles had caused stains to become permanent on the carpets and hardwood flooring. And that wasn't even mentioning the bags of fast food he likely ordered to avoid interacting with the outside world.

And that had been enough for Nova to take in her brother's features. His eyes were sunken. Purple circles underneath from lack of sleep. Now noticing, Booker hadn't even maintained the same level of muscle as she remembered 2 years ago. Yet, that didn't take away his strength in any capacity. His hair was slightly astray and had a shine to it with his clothes tattered in certain places.

He was a damn wreck.

Nova didn't hate seeing Booker. In fact, every time she came to see him, she felt her heart grow because of the man. A certain fondness was reached that even Natasha couldn't attain. And it wasn't even like Booker did anything special. He just listened. He listened to her problems and was there to comfort her. And maybe she was reminiscent of their time in S.H.I.E.L.D. together and how he was always there to be a helpful voice and hand in the hangar. Listening to her every waking problem and loved her even more than the day before.

Everything he did, she appreciated and only wished to give back the same or more.

But she knew that what happened to him wasn't something she could reverse. And what sucked the most? He had the ability to but had no way of knowing how.

Feeling her gaze on him, Booker let out a nervous laugh. "Take a seat. I just need to clean this up-"

"Booker," Nova tried, pursing her lips.

But he didn't stop to listen. "I'll order us some coffee and breakfast. You still take black-"

"Booker!" He couldn't finish as his eyes snapped toward her. Nova's hands cupped his face with her thumbs gently running over his beard. Inhaling deeply, hoping to not let the faint sting behind her eyes go any further. "I don't care about anything else. I'm here to see you."

It took a moment but he managed a nod and swallowed thickly. Pulling out a seat for her and taking one opposite of her at the table. He placed the garbage bag to the side and clasped his hands together his eyes meeting hers.

"So, what brought you here? Dad ask you to come get me so all of us can be one happy big family?" He asked, a hint of jovial sarcasm.

Grabbing a nearby bottle already opened beer while his sister leant back in her chair. "If he did, I wouldn't come get you because I know how much you hate the man." That caused a laugh to vibrate through his chest as he nodded in agreement.

"I'm thinking of leaving."

The open-ended thought made Booker frown, swallowing the lukewarm toxin and sigh. "Leave what?"

She swallowed thickly. "S.H.I.E.L.D. The country. Hopefully, forever."

Booker nearly choked on his own spit. But he imagined Nova had the same reaction when he said he was leaving the force. Yet, somehow and for some reason, hearing her say it sounded more foreign and almost forbidden.

"You're fucking with me, right? Do you know Dad would rather die than let you leave?" Booker laughed. "Ever since you started, you have been his prized possession, Nova."

"Yeah, well, hard to believe that when the man sent me to fucking Siberia and fucking made me-!" She stopped herself, covering her eyes. Face scrunching up with an unbridled sob wracking her body.

And in that instant, Booker had his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "Hey. Hey, hey, hey, what's up?" He whispered softly. "C'mon, you can talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"I just..." Nova pressed her lips together. The bottom faintly pushed out as it quivered. Her eyes stinging with tears, forcing her to try and blink them away. No success.

"What happened in Siberia?" Booker questioned, tone slightly rising in worry of his sister. He watched as she sat up in her chair, closing her eyes. Eyebrows scrunching together, recollecting what was troubling her. Almost feeling like the past few hours she'd been doing everything to forget it. And that's all she wanted. She wished to forget what she and Cooper were responsible for.

But she willed herself to see the imagery that would be engrained in her mind for as long as the guilt clung to her. "Dad tasked us to take out Aleksandr. Some ultranationalist that was causing trouble with allied countries. We got a tip that he was hiding in a small town in Siberia," she explained, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Our scanners were scrambled by the storm. But we were told ground troops that passed through said he was there. They told us he was there with just hired guns."

Booker nodded, listening intently as the woman reopened her eyes, grabbing her bear and holding it tightly in her grasp. "But my question was; why the hell would he just hold up in a small town, you know?" She asked rhetorically. "I mean, the Russians were looking for him just as much as we were. But why hold up somewhere where they could find you? It just didn't make sense to me at the time."

Taking a sip of the disgusting beverage, she sighed. "But we followed through and we blew up those buildings. We weren't going to take any chances on this guy continuing this uprising in our backyard, you know?" She explained. "And when we got down there, there was just smoke and whatever was left of the buildings. Flames were everywhere."

She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat with her head bowing. "We entered the first building and we..." She clamped her lips shut, sniffling with the sting behind her eyes intensifying with her head falling forward. "We found kids."

Her brother's eyes widened. Head falling forward with his elbows digging into his knees as he clasped the beer between his hands. Fingers tensed around the glass with a quiet murmur slipping past his lips. "Jesus, Nova." He shook his head. "What did he turn you into?"

She didn't know. In so many cases she thought she might've been doing things by the book. Or at least the book she considered to be morally right. Take down the bad guy and save innocent lives. But time after time, mission after mission, her expectations were let down. Although many may not see it or understand it, she was becoming her very own villain. The very thing she fought against and wished to destroy was herself.

"I just want to leave, you know?" She wept. "Our job is to stop worldwide uprisings or catastrophes. But I just scorched the Earth and killed kids. I had to watch a mother hold her daughter's limp corpse and beg for mercy," Nova sobbed, turning her hollowing gaze to her brother. "If I could, I would've swapped my life for each of those kids. I would do anything to be forgiven."

"But that isn't your fault, Nova," Booker reassured helplessly.

But Nova nodded, sniffling. "But it is," she protested. "I allowed the mission to continue. I didn't stop it when we didn't have enough actionable intel to proceed. I was too fucking aggressive with wanting to get that fucker off the board, you know? And what does that say about me?" She asked. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

"No!" Booker moved to kneel in front of her, pulling the young woman into his arms. "You are and never will be a horrible person, you hear? I know you wouldn't have followed through if you had the choice. That makes you and Cooper different, all right?"

She wanted to believe her brother was right. Still, something inside her fought against the clearly knowledgeable and justified standpoint. Nova knew that no matter what she did, these deaths would cling to her forever. Etched into her skin like a tattoo–giving everyone the sight of her unforgivable mistakes.

All because of a man she entrusted to never allow her to make mistakes like this.

"I won't tell you to or not to leave S.H.I.E.L.D., but I will tell you that whatever you decide, I will be by your side, all right?" Booker held tighter, kissing her temple. "We do what we must to do better for ourselves.