# — ❞ IT'S EITHER YOU OR THE MAN ON THE COUCH WITH A HANGOVER ❞
╰┈➤ CHAPTER FOUR ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝙐𝙈𝘽𝙍𝙀𝙇𝙇𝘼 𝘼𝘾𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙈𝙔┊🕰️☔️🎻
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THE NEXT MORNING, ALLISON AND STARR STARTED PACKING FOR when they leave the next day. Allison was planning to call her ex today so she'd be able to see Claire while Starr didn't have much going on here. Starr swung her suitcase up on the bed beside Allison's, throwing anything that was her's in there.

Allison crossed her arms against her chest with a smile watching, "Don't you think it's a better idea to fold?"

"It's the easier way," Starr shrugged.

Allison shook her head with a smile and got back to packing until Luther opened the door and inched and knocked.

"Hi," Luther said.

"Hey."

Starr gaze drifted to both of them and then, "I'll leave you and sister-kisser alone," she left the room, leaving Allison eye-wide at what she said and Luther, covering his face in his hands. Starr turned back and shrugged, "Am I wrong?"

None of them said anything and she just left. She walked through the hallway and spotted five coming towards her, "Hey, Sarah, right?"

"Why can't anyone get it right!" Starr exclaimed.

"Doesn't matter," Five shrugged, then taking out a fake eye, "I need help," Starr squinted her eyes at the fake one in Five's hand, but then he put it away, "I found it in the future — I'm convinced whosever this is, he or she started the apocalypse and since you're the only one here, you're helping."

Starr shrugged, "Why me?"

"It's either you or the man on the couch with a hang over," Five replied.

Starr deadpanned, not impressed so Five sighed coming up with the best alternative, "And if you help me with this im sure you'll impress my vigilante brother that hey, maybe I can do something cool for once and hey, maybe we'll actually be friends instead of me constantly saying we will, but it's never gonna happen."

"Jeez, I get the memo," Starr said

"Great! So, cmon."

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FIVE AND STARR HEADED TO MERITECH HEADQUARTERS TO FIND the owner of the fake eye. Being in a car with Five was like they were already in the apocalypse. Yes, he was a decent driver, but as soon as Starr got into a car with a fellow thirteen year old-ish, she thought they were destined to get pulled over or crash.

The two headed into the building, going up in the elevator which was awkward and that was an understatement. Thankfully the elevator music was there to lower the chances of having to make conversation, but neither of them wanted to, so they would last. Plus, Starr had a fear of elevators so the whole time it was just her looking up at the ceiling in fear while Five just gave her a side eye.

Eventually they got to the floor and Five took out the fake eye, holding it in his hand while they waited for someone to come help. Then, a doctor in a lab coat came in and walked over, "Uh, can I help you two?"

"I need to know who this belongs to," Five held up the fake eye.

"Where did you get that?"

"Why do you care?"

Starr chuckled, "Uh what my... cousin — totally cousins don't ask, means is that we found it at the playground."

"Yeah," Five nodded, "Must have just... popped out," he clicked his tongue, "We wanna return it to its rightful owner."

"Oh.. what a thoughtful young man and woman," the lady at the front desk smiled.

"Yeah. Look up the name for me, will you?"

"Uh, im sorry, but patient records are strictly confidential," the man said. "That means I can't —"

"-Yeah, I know what it means," five cut him off.

"But I'll tell you what I can do: I will take the eye off your hands and return it to the owner," he insisted. "I'm sure he or she will be very grateful, so if I can just —"

"Yeah, you're not touching this eye,"

"Now, you listen here, young man —"

Five grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down, "No! You listen to me, asshole," he grunted, "We've come along way for this — me a little longer."

Starr signaled to him, "Way longer."

"Gone through shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend," he continued. "So just give us the information we need and I'll be on our merry way," the guy sighed, shaking his head, "and if you call me young man one more time, I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall."

Starr's gaze drifted to the lady behind the desk who was already calling security and tapped on five's shoulder to signal that he should let the guy go. Five sighed and let him go before heading back to the elevator, "That was shit."

"We're gonna need someone else," Starr gave him a knowing look.

Five's eyes widened, "No."

"Cmon."

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AFTER THE FIRST FAILED ATTEMPT, FIVE AND STARR headed back to the Academy to find Klaus since he was the only other adult who didn't have much going on in their life. While Five was reluctant to get Klaus's help, Starr managed to convince him by saying it's either him or sister kisser.

Once the duo got back, they headed upstairs to find to find Klaus, but instead they found Vanya. Vanya sighed and said, "Oh, thank God."

"I was worried sick about you," she said, obviously talking about Five.

"Sorry I left without saying goodbye,"

Starr coughed, "Uh... should I—"

"No it's fine," Vanya shook her head. "Okay, look, I'm the one that should be sorry," Five stepped away from the window as Vanya continued, "Yeah, I was dismissive, and... I — I guess I didn't know how to process what you were saying. And I still can't, to be honest."

"Maybe you were right to be dismissive," Five replied with a scoff, "Maybe it wasn't real after all. It felt real, but... like you said, the old many did say time travel could containment the mind."

"Then maybe I'm not the right person for you to be talking to," Vanya dismissed. "Look, I used to see someone. A therapist, I can give you her information."

"Thanks, but... I think I'm just gonna get some rest," Five insisted. "It's been a long time since I've had a good sleep."

Starr gave him a knowing glance — knowing damn well that he wasn't taking any sort of nap. Then, Vanya nodded and left the room. Just as the two were about to follow, Klaus fell out from the closet, "That's so... touching!"

"All that stuff about family and dad and time, Wow!" Klaus exclaimed as he stumbled out.

"Would you shut up? She'll hear you," Five said through gritted teeth."

Starr squinted her eyes, "He was in there the whole time?!"

"I'm moist," Klaus blurted out.

"What?" Starr grimaced.

"I thought I told you to put on something professional," Five said.

"What? This is my nicest outfit," Klaus told him, signaling to the outfit he had on.

Five sighed as he walked out, "We'll raid the old man's closet."

The others followed behind him as Klaus said, "As long as I get paid."

"When the job is done."

When the trio started heading out, Klaus began speaking again, "Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details, I just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old dad and or her uncle, correct?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"What's our cover story?"

"What? What are you talking about?" Five questioned.

"I mean, was I really young when I had you? Like sixteen? Like, young... and my brother left little Sarah with me 'cause he had given up on the gray brick road we call life," Klaus rambled on before turning to five, "Your mother, that slut. Whoever she was. We met at... the disco," he chuckled, "Okay? Remember that," Klaus snapped his fingers, "Oh, my God, the sex was amazing."

Starr grimaced, covering her ears, "Did we have to go that far in?"

"What part of cover story don't you understand, Sarah?" Klaus sighed.

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain," Five snapped as him and Starr walked out. "You even managed to traumatize poor Starr over here."

Klaus frowned in confusion, "Who's Starr?"

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"LIKE I SAID TO YOUR NEICE AND YOUR SON EARLIER, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential," the doctor stated. After getting Klaus, the trio headed back to Meritech Headquarters and were now sitting at the doctor's desk, listening to the same answer — no. "Without the clients consent, I simply cannot help you."

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name," Five sat up, sending him a death stare.

"Well, that's not my problem," he sighed. "Sorry, now there's really nothing more I can do, so—"

Then, Klaus spoke up which Starr never saw coming, "And what about my consent?"

"Oh, God..." Starr muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Who gave you permission... to lay your hands... on my son?" Klaus stuttered.

"What?" Five, Starr and the doctor asked.

"You heard me," Klaus snapped.

"I didn't touch your son."

"Oh, really? Well, then how did he get that swollen lip, then?" Klaus inquired as he sat up from his chair.

"He doesn't have a swollen lip—"

Just as the doctor was about to finish his sentence, Klaus punched Five in the mouth causing Starr to move and back up, "Dude, are you insane?!"

Klaus inhaled sharply, "I want it," he then leaned forward to the desk, "Name, please — now."

"You're crazy," the doctor stated.

Starr shrugged, "Eh, he ain't wrong."

"You got no idea," Klaus said, picking up a snow globe with a smile, "Peace on earth, that's so sweet," he then smashed the globe onto his head and was covered in blood and glass. "God! That hurt."

Before the doctor could call security, Klaus took the phone from him, "There's been an assault... in Mr. Big's office and we need security, now. Schnell!" He slammed the phone down and sighed, "Now, here's what's gonna, happen, Grant," he inhaled again, "In about sixty seconds, two security guards are gonna burst in through thwt door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder, what the hell happened? And we're gonna tell them that you... beat the shit out of us."

He then glanced at Starr and placed a hand on his chest, "And poor Sarah had to witness it."

"It's Starr — whatever," Starr sighed.

"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant," Klaus said. "Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you. Oh, my God, you're gonna get passed around like a... you're just — you're gonna do great! That's all I'm saying."

"Jesus, you are a real sick bastard," he muttered.

"Thank you."

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SURPRISINGLY, KLAUS WAS ABLE TO PUT ON A BELIEVABLE performance that was so well, he scared the guy at the desk into looking through files for them. The trio followed the doctor through the office into another room where he kept the files and he went to the drawers to unlock them to see find the name for the patient of the eye.

The doctor looked through the files and looked surprised, "Uh, that's strange."

"What?"

"Uh, the eye," he replied. "It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."

Klaus leaped behind the desk and sighed, "What? What do you mean?"

"Well, uh, our log says that the eye with that serial number... this can't be right," he frowned in confusion. "It hasn't even been manufactured yet," he then looked up at five and Starr, "where did you two get that eye?"

➥ AUTHOR'S NOTE
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i do not like this chapter, but klaus, five and starr will be an iconic trio this season. speaking of season, i just saw season 4 and i hear ur cries imma def be rewriting the end of episode four - and episode five CUS WTF?! diego deserves sm better 🥺🥺 like let my bby be happy for once.

im still thinking of what to do for starr when i write season four, but all i know is im REWRITING episode five. i might have her stay with allison, klaus and claire, but im still working on it. pls don't be ghost readers or silent ones, comments rlly help with motivation <33

— see you soon, meg!