F A L L O N

"I only love it when you touch me, not feel me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah."

. . .

I'm still wet and aching when his hands roam over my ass. He takes my flesh between his fingers, pulling and digging in.

He positions my ass in the air, my cheek flat against the mattress along with the rest of my upper body.

He's still inside of me, throbbing and swelling. A breathless moan leaves me when he pulls back a little, to thrust back in.

He's so much deeper. I didn't know he could stretch me out this far. The slight sliver of pain it brings, goes hand in hand with the pleasure I'm receiving.

He lays one of his hands flat on my back, pushing me down as he starts moving. His pelvis meets the curve of my ass over and over again.

His shadow looms over me from behind, his hands spanking my ass. His thrusts are short and repetitive, his hips jabbing mine as if asking 'you feel me? You feel how deep I am inside of you?'

A loud gasp leaves me when one of his hands tugs at my braid, harshly. A yelp leaves me when he does it again.

My head is lifted from the mattress and my scalp is hurting at the pulls. But I don't tell him to stop. In fact, I moan even harder and push my ass against him, trying to fuck him back.

With the same hand, he goes to grab my other braid and holds my head there as he fucks me, harder and harder. He tightens his fingers on my strands, not letting go once.

And his other hand is reddening my ass. With occasional slaps that have a delicious sting course through me.

He flips my skirt up so it's around my waist as he fucks me, exposing more of my ass.

My walls clench around him harder, having an iron grip on him. "Fuck, Angel," he breathes out, the music of our skin slapping together increasing.

"You're so wet," he groans, digging his fingers into my ass. He takes a hold of me, steadying me as his pace quickens.

His pounds are so deep and hard, it has my legs starting to tremble again when he hits that one spot inside of me.

A whine leaves me, and a gush of wetness leaves me when he rubs his curved tip against the spot again.

"You like that?"

He does it again and again.

"Yes," I mewl, and my lips part in ecstasy. Short little puffs are escaping me, and all I can do is roll my eyes back and take the pleasure he's giving me.

My nails are gripping at the sheets, almost ripping them apart as I need them to hold on to.

His breathing is even, and he lets out a deep groan every now and then. Every time he thrusts back in, a breathless sound leaves him which has my toes curling.

I don't need stimulation on my clit to feel my orgasm build up again, that's how good he knows how to work his dick.

Embarrassingly quick, I find myself clamping around his cock that has him let out a deep moan. His fingers tighten on my hair and his pace quickens.

A violent shudder goes through me as I'm thrown into a blissful feeling of pleasure and lust. My lips part on a silent moan and Nicholas' name leaves me as I come.

After a few more thrusts, Nicholas groans out my name and stills, blowing his load inside of me.

He pulls out of me and falls next to me on my bed, pulling me towards him as we're both panting. I lift my head and connect our lips, breathing out in relief and bliss.

His hands roam my body, caressing me and slowly helping me out of my skirt. "That was amazing," I whisper against his lips and nestle my body against his under the sheets.

It feels so... natural and good. As if my room is our own little world where we don't have to worry about anything.

"It was," he whispers, softly raking his fingertips over the arch of my back. I take the hair ties out of my hair and untangle my curls, letting them flow on the pillowcase.

I'm happy when he doesn't make a move to leave. I snuggle closer to him, not letting go or giving him any hint that I don't want him here.

I want to fall asleep while being in his arms. I want him to continue pressing kisses in my neck.

Letting out a content sigh, I tilt my head to the side to give him more space and bite my lip when I feel the pleasant scruff of his stubble.

"You tired?" he asks, rubbing his hands up and down my body. I nod, having a lazy smile on my face.

"Yeah," I hum and turn my head, meeting his lips in a kiss. "Good, now go sleep," he murmurs, kissing me until unconsciousness takes over and I'm too tired to respond to his kisses.

I wake up in an empty bed. I mean, I don't know what I expected and this is a good thing, but why do I feel just as empty?

I sit up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, and realize I'm naked. Quickly tiptoeing to my closet, I put on a pair of sweats and a simple shirt.

I meet my eyes in the mirror and try to organize all the curls that seem to be scattered everywhere, and collect them all in a bun.

I brush my teeth and wash my face, still recalling Nicholas' touch on me and the way he'd caress me.

The grip of his fingers on my throat is still lingering, making me bite my lip at the memory.

Licking my lips, I wonder if he's going to stop by tonight. I hope he's going to stop by tonight. Falling asleep in his arms is like a dream.

If only I could wake up in them, too.

Stella has vanished out of your mind, huh?

I lean against my bathroom door, feeling my heart speeding up out of unease. My throat swells up and I can feel the back of my eyes burning.

But I just... can't seem to stop.

Not allowing myself to fall into the pit of self-hatred and doubt, I get up and head for the kitchen downstairs.

I'm in the middle of making myself a calming cup of tea and a toast when I see a whirl of blonde hair fly into the room.

Stella's glint in her blue eyes makes me feel uneasy, and I force out a smile as the guilt comes crashing down on me.

If the guilt is unbearable, then just stop.

No.

"Good morning," she chirps. "Morning," I reply softly and watch her throw her long hair over her shoulders as she rummages through the cupboards.

She's bursting with excitement and is really bad at hiding it. I keep my eyes focused on her, waiting until she's going to tell me what made her so happy this morning.

"Oh, fuck it!" she squeals and turns around, meeting my eyes. The look in her eyes brings a smile to my face since it takes me back to when she'd have a secret she was about to spill back when I was little.

"What's going on?" I chuckle and take a sip of my tea.

"Well... I was on my way to greet Nicholas this morning, but I think he went to the bathroom because he wasn't in the library and I was waiting around for him," she begins.

"His laptop was open and I swear, Fallon, I didn't mean to look but my eyes just glanced over... and he's taking me to England!"

Her happy squeals and giggles fill my ears, but it's numbed down and they don't fully register. The words she just said haven't fully registered.

"England, huh?" I ask, my throat closing up.

"I want to take you somewhere," he whispers.

My eyes fill with curiosity. "Where?"

"You tell me where," he replies and brushes his thumb across my lower lip. "England," I grin, knowing it's too far and we won't go.

"England it is, then," he smirks.

He was going to take me there. He had been serious and was planning on doing it. He was going to take me away.

But now Stella has seen it. She keeps on talking, and I manage to catch some words. That he was looking at plane tickets and at the finest hotels in London.

She has seen it, and there's no way it's possible for me to go. It's a wake-up call, really. Because Stella is the person he should be going with.

Not me.

It doesn't hurt any less, though. "Did you talk to him about it?" I ask, my voice sounding hoarse.

"He came in and caught me looking," she chuckles and brushes a strand of hair away from her face.

"I think he wanted to keep it a surprise. But then he went on and said that he was merely just looking and that he doesn't have a lot of time to even travel right now. But I know he's just lying to take me anyway," she grins, a soft glow on her cheeks.

"Yeah, probably," I smile, though it's fake and the corners of my lips are tugging downwards.

That night, there are two knocks on my door. Pressing my lips together, I wonder if I should open it.

Who am I kidding?

Standing up, I walk towards the door and open it, revealing Nicholas standing in the doorway.

He must see the weary look on my face, because he places both hands on my cheeks and walks inside, still holding me as he lowers his face to press a soft kiss on my lips.

I turn my face away, brushing our lips together, and breathe out, not knowing what to say or do.

But I let him wrap his arms around me and hug me. He pulls me closer into his chest and I exhale in relief, wrapping my arms around him in return.

"You're going with her," I whisper, and he grunts. "No."

"Yes, you are," I sigh and tilt my head up so our eyes meet. "You are," I repeat, finding it hard to swallow.

"She's seen everything already and god... she was so happy and..."

"I'm not going without you," he whispers and caresses my cheek. "I know how much you love history and how you've always wanted to visit England. It'd be a dream come true for you and I'm not taking that away," he continues, brushing his thumb across my cheek.

Like a love-sick girl, I lean into his touch.

"B-but..."

"You're coming with," he says, a determined look in his eyes. "No, thanks," I respond, making him frown.

"I'm not going to be the third wheel, Nicholas," I frown. He shakes his head. "Take a friend of yours with you," he tells me. "I can tell Stella that I'm there for business, so you'll get to enjoy it anyway."

"I wanted to enjoy it with you," I grit out, not caring how needy it sounds. Because it's the truth.

He made me so excited about this. To go with him.

"I know, Angel," he breathes.

He leads me towards my bed, where he lowers us both on top of it. But he doesn't take our clothes off, he just holds me to him, close.

"And you will."

. . .

I binged Bridgerton the other day and I wonder why I put it off for so long.

I'm addicted and can't wait for the second season omg.

The tension between Simon and Daphne was to die for, I swear I was combusting.

Anyway, I've been writing Elena's story and I'm LIVING FOR IT.

I'm soooooo close to just publishing it. But I'm holding back. Though I LOVE IT AAAH.

Okay, I'll cool down but just know that I'm so excited for you guys to read it.

Also, Ariana on the Voice is giving me life.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading!

I love you.