꧁ Dealing with the Present ꧂

"You can let me down now, Marco," Hazel murmured as they reached her bedroom.

Marco did not answer and reluctantly put her back on the ground. She immediately moved away and turned her back, leaving him quite distraught.

"Hazel," he called her, taking a step in her direction.

"Go away," she replied instantly.

Marco froze upon hearing the dispassion in her voice, her sudden change of behaviour had sent him into total confusion. The same woman who, only a few moments before, was clinging to his shoulders as if her life depended on it, now didn't even deign to look at him. What am I supposed to do? He wondered, how do I help her?

"Tell me what to do," he then mumbled out loud.

"Leave," she said coldly. "Please."

"I can't leave you like this, yoi."

"Get the fuck out, Marco!" she yelled, finally turning around.

Marco was paralyzed, like as if he had suddenly found himself on a thin sheet of ice and the slightest movement would have made him fall into the cold abyss. Her words commanded him to leave, her eyes begged him to stay. For the second time, Marco felt completely useless, knowing that in both cases he would not have been of any help. A dark chuckle called back his attention.

"Why are you still here anyway?" she asked, this time almost whispering. "You already tried to help me and it didn't work, why do you think this time will be any different?"

Those words cut him like a blade, opening an old wound. He felt the colour draining from his face, the memory of how he had been totally unhelpful to her in the past was mortifying.

"Do us both a favour and leave," she then added, turning her back again.

He sighed and, with a heavy heart, decided to do as he was asked. He left without saying a word, closing the door behind him.

The exact moment he was out of the room, Hazel collapsed. The tears were now too numerous to hold them back, the sobs too heavy to be suppressed. The woman surrendered herself to a hysterical and loud cry, unable to keep anything inside any longer.
She found herself ensnared yet again in the cage she had finally gotten out of. Over the course of barely an hour, she had managed to royally screw up months of efforts. She had tasted a crumb of freedom only to fall right back into the abyss. And she was the one to throw herself back in. She had let this happen, she had taken no precautions, and as usual, she had given simple words the power to hurt her. And to hurt those she had promised herself to protect. It hadn't been fate that brought James to her door that morning, it had been her. It had been her actions, or the absence of them, and her foolish illusion of being free. She had convinced herself that she was fine, that she could have returned to the woman she used to be, that she could have left everything behind as if nothing had ever happened. And it had been that very sense of security that brought her to this moment.

What a perfect idiot, she told herself, taking off the jacket and crawling onto the bed. Hazel gripped the pillow and held it tight, wetting it with tears and drool as she desperately tried to imagine herself in the arms of the only person who had always managed to comfort her, but to whom she could no longer go.

"I'm sorry, Marco," she murmured in between sobs.

Unbeknownst to her, the man in question was sitting right outside her door. Marco hadn't moved, in case she changed her mind and needed him. He was aware that it had been her pain, pride and frustration to speak, not Hazel. And the hysterical cry he had indirectly witnessed was the confirmation of that. She had sent him away because she didn't want him to see her break down.

"Marco?" Sabo called him quietly from the stairs, catching his attention. "What are you doing sitting out there?"

"Hazel kicked me out, yoi," he simply replied.

Sabo sighed, "please come downstairs."

Marco nodded and glanced at the closed door one last time before following his brother.

✵✵✵✵

"I want him dead, Thatch."

These were the first words the two of them heard as they entered the kitchen.

"I know, Ace, believe me. But if you were to go to prison now, it'd be just a huge pain in the ass," said the eldest of the brothers.

"Let's ask Shanks then," replied the raven-haired man, livid with rage. "I am sure he'd be happy to handle this."

"Ace, please try to-"

"If anyone is gonna kill that son of a bitch, it's gonna be me," Marco cut Thatch off, earning a series of shocked looks. None of those present would have ever expected to hear such a statement from him.

"Let's try to stay down on earth, please," Sabo intervened. "Half of the police department is already trying to pry into our business, there's no need to give Akainu an extra incentive."

"And again, you two are the last people Hazel would want to see behind bars," Thatch added, nodding.

"So what do we do? We leave her alone to cry her heart out in her room?" Ace blurted out.

"I know it sounds awful, but at least for now, yes," Sabo answered calmly. 

His brother then gave him a fiery glare that almost startled him. Before he could throw him a list of insults, however, Thatch spoke again.

"Look, Hazel needs time and normality right now. If we intervene, we'll just make it worse. She has always been our rock, it seems understandable to me that she doesn't want us to see her crumble." said the brunette.

"I agree," Sabo nodded, "we must show her that the events of this morning haven't upset us in any way. If we start acting differently towards her, she'll feel even more guilty. Right now, Hazel doesn't need our compassion, she needs to get back to a normal life. As soon as possible."

Ace sighed, gradually letting himself be convinced by the words of the brothers. "So what do we do?" he asked.

"Why don't we have a movie night?" Sabo suggested. "We could invite a couple of friends, order some pizzas and watch something. It's not much, but it'll distract her."

"And it's not out of the ordinary for us either, so she wouldn't suspect anything," Thatch agreed.

"Okay then," Ace said, giving an anxious glance at Marco, who had yet to express his opinion on the matter. "Marco? You think you can give Izo a call?"

The blond simply nodded in response.

"Good. And Luffy can you-" Ace paused, noticing only now that his younger brother was no longer in the room. "Where the hell is Luffy?"

They all exchanged a concerned look. Even Marco, who seemed to be lost in deep thoughts, became considerably alarmed at the mention of the boy's absence. 

"He went upstairs, didn't he?" Sabo voiced the fear of all.

"Damn brat!"

"Leave him be," Thatch stopped Ace before he could sprint upstairs and get him. "He would have already come back in tears if Hazel had kicked him out."

"If he didn't kick him out, why did she kick me out then, yoi?" Marco spoke before thinking and regretted it instantly.

"Because you're the last person she'd want to see her like this, you idiot," replied Ace, quite irritated by his naivety.

The blond glared at him but didn't reply.

"God, Marco. Wake up, would you?" his brother added before leaving the kitchen.

Sabo followed shortly after.

"If you have something to say, just say it," Marco blurted out, fed up with Thatch's pitiful look.

"Why do you just assume she has no romantic feelings for you?" replied the brunette.

Marco sighed, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Thatch had already left. Again. Why did people keep leaving in the middle of a conversation? Perhaps because, after all, they did not need to hear his answers to their questions, for in the end, those answers were more for his heart than for their ears.

✵✵✵✵

Unbeknownst to anyone noticing and against everyone's opinion, Luffy had run upstairs with every intention of comforting his sister.

The door was closed, but not locked; no sound could be heard from outside, but heartbreaking sobs filled the room like the lament of a caged animal. Rather unusually, Luffy tried to be as quiet as possible in sneaking into the room and under the covers. As she had done with him countless times as a child, the boy gently lifted her head and replaced her pillow with his chest. Hazel let him do it, lulled by his regular heartbeat. Only then it dawned on him that he had no idea what he was supposed to do in that situation. There was something terrifying about seeing the woman in such a state, until a few moments before Luffy didn't even know she was able to cry, for he had never seen her do it before. When upset, she would throw punches left and right, or list an unlimited series of insults, or sometimes ignore the whole situation and pick up a book instead, or even, if Shanks was nearby, drink until she'd forgotten what the problem was in the first place. Never cry. Therefore, while waiting for her to calm down, Luffy decided to play it safe and run his fingers through her long dark hair, after all, he had seen his brothers do it numerous times before and seemed to always relax her.

"Luffy," she muttered after a while, "thank you."

The boy smiled and nodded, only to realize that she couldn't see him. "You should go to Marco," he then said, voicing the first thought that came to his mind.

"I can't," she sighed.

He frowned thoughtfully for half a minute or so, trying to puzzle out her reply, then shook his head in surrender. "Why not?"

A soft sigh left her lips, "I've done him wrong a time too many,  I can't just-"

"He loves you, you know?" he bluntly cut it short.

Hazel found that she had no words to reply. Luffy did not need to specify what he meant, because deep down her heart already knew it. Marco loved her as a woman, not just as a sister. She didn't know when or how it had happened, but she had seen it in his eyes when he had stepped in between her and James, his gaze was not that of a protective brother, but of a man willing to do anything for his woman.