CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR !
[ real life ]

❝ IF ONLY SHE HAD KNOWN ❞

tw for alcohol and illegal / underage drinking

📂﹖﹕𓂃𐩐💻

ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ

aurora plops down on her bed with a sigh, getting cozy by settling a throw blanket over her lap. matt left about ten minutes ago and after an embarrassing discussion with elijah about how he's entered her good graces again, she finally made it upstairs with the notes matt gave her in hand.

she finally looks down to them and turns the folded pieces of paper over. one of them has 'rora' written over the front with a sloppy heart next to it that makes her lip twitch upwards with endearment. the other one has nothing written on the fold, making her raise her eyebrows a tad since she half expected it to be the note she originally gave back to him.

she glances between the two papers, unsure of which to read first since matt didn't really give her directions or any clue of what they contain. she ultimately settles on reading the 'rora' one first just because the heart is too cute and too intriguing for her to resist.

she picks up the note and begins unfolding it with a slight scrunch to her eyebrows. she finally opens it and takes in a slight breath before reading over the messily written words.

to: rora

hi... i don't really n̶o̶w̶ know how to start this because we usually talk in person so this is kinda weird! i'm also kind of stressing because i n̶o̶w̶ know you're gonna read this and make my spelling better like you always do but i want to sound p̶r̶o̶f̶e̶s̶h̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ professional. i'm also writing this in pen which is kinda dumb since i keep messing up my words. sorry i'm... frick what was it you called it? stalling? i'm sorry. i'm stalling.

what i want to say is i like you. more than friend like! i like like you. i'm sorry if you don't feel the same and i still want to be friends if you don't but i wanted to tell you the truth. i think you're really pretty and i like how you always talk to me even when your dads being really mean and you won't talk to anyone else. i really like that even t̶h̶o̶ though you say crying makes you feel like a baby, you don't make fun of me when i cry! you're just really nice to me and it makes me really happy. i like playing minecraft with you and going to the park with you.

i told my mom that i like like you and she said she's glad i told her because she's been talking with my dad about how we're "bound to be in love when we're older." i just kinda sat there like what?! i'm just a kid! we're just kids! i don't even know what love is and the thought of it grosses me out. i know you said a couple days ago that you love that one movie with the bryce guy you think is cute. i think the movie is called flipped?? i don't freaking know. but you said you love it because of how in love the characters are so even t̶h̶o̶ though i didn't tell you, i made mom rent the movie on some tv thing so i could watch it. the characters kind of remind me of us but i would never take so long to realize i like you! i would never have to flip like that! but you said the characters are in love and the characters remind me of us so i don't know!!! i don't even know what love is so maybe i'll just update you when we're older and i'll be able to tell if we're in love. can you remind me pleaseee? you know i'll forget.

okay woah. this is getting kinda really long. like longer than the papers the teacher makes us write! i guess i just really really like you a lot. which i do!! i've liked you since you punched those scary fifth graders for me and by the way, we're the fifth graders now! isn't that freaking crazy? anyways! i n̶e̶w̶ knew i liked you when you kissed my cheek and said i was not just your friend but your best friend because i started to feel all fuzzy inside.

okay anyways again! chris is rushing me to finish writing this because it's almost time for recess and he's ready for me to give it to you already! we've been making this huge group of people for tag since it's the last day of school and i'm really excited. but yeah. i just really like you. like like! it's okay if you don't feel the same. i just wanted to tell you. even if you don't like like me it's fine. at least we'll be best friends no matter what :) thanks for being my friend rory!!

from: matt :)

a frown immediately takes over auroras face, recognizing the day he's talking about automatically. the words spilled over the page give her heart a new ache as she thinks back to the friendship they had at the time it was written. he had a crush on her?

aurora sets down the paper with a saddened breath leaving her mouth. how could she not have known he liked her? why couldn't she get this note before the other one? she liked him just as much as he expressed in this note, if not more.

if she had gotten to read this note at the time it was written, it could've changed every thing. they could've had so much more. it's such a bittersweet experience, only getting to read this now. there's so much potential that comes with it, so much wasted potential.

she glances down at the other folded paper and picks it up, deciding it's best to just read the both of them and get it over with. she takes in an even heavier breath before reading this one.

r̶o̶r̶y̶
aurora,

holy shit, why am i still writing with a pen? i just have no pencils i guess. anyways, sorry. i've got a feeling i've gonna be saying that a lot throughout this note but that's besides the point. i'm writing this while you're pissed at me, like beyond pissed at me. so pissed that you told me to stop calling you rory which you have never been angry enough to ever scold me for throughout all our years of arguing and shit. not gonna lie, you saying that affected me a lot more than i'd like to admit. like embarrassing amounts.

but anyway, i'm getting off track. i'm here to explain since i never got to in fifth grade which by the way, i don't blame you for. that note really made me seem like a two sided bitch so my bad. but also not my bad because i did not write it. obviously. why the fuck would i write that when it literally contradicts every thing i had ever talked to you about in elementary school. anyway, i know you're stubborn and are definitely side eyeing the paper right now so let me explain how i didn't write it and who did.

when i told you i was leaving to go to becca's after filming the baking video yes it was to get a rise out of you but it was also true. and no, stop it's not like that i swear just listen. well, no. just read...? yeah okay that's right. anyways!

becca told me she wrote the note. and you don't have to believe me but i swear i'd never write that, even though i was pretty stupid for a fifth grader. i was stupid but our friendship really meant a lot to me, i would've never said anything like that. she told me she wrote it because apparently your guys' elementary school rivalry goes a loooot further than i thought and she like actually hated your guts for some reason? which is funny because half of the school hated her and still hate her now even though we're in high school because of how stuck up she was. but i'm getting off track AGAIN so, she told me that she just wrote with her left hand because of my sloppy handwriting and put the circles instead of dots over the i's because i was a fucking weirdo in elementary school and that was my thing i guess. i mean it's believable like my handwriting was ASS so.

and for her kissing my cheek on the playground which she told me she purposefully made sure you'd see, she literally told me she could grant wishes by doing that and i believed her because once again, i was a dumbass. you should be able to tell that right away because i mean we were best friends and well look at where we are now because of me haha. if it helps anything, my wish was that you would like me back.

also, i'm sorry. i feel like i haven't been saying that enough since the last time we talked we argued but i am. i'm sorry. i didn't realize it before because i didn't know about the fake note, but it must've hurt more because it was with becca out of all people. i promise i hardly even remembered who she was, she was just there and i was hurt and being stupid. so i'm sorry i kissed her and i'm sorry i didn't stay long enough and trust that you wouldn't kiss ross.

i'm not sorry for what i said about ross and cameron. sure, it wasn't exactly true because i'd easily punch cameron again or punch ross now or just any guy that wrongs you, but i don't regret saying it. what i do regret was bringing up your step dad. it was out of pocket and i'm sorry. i used one of your own insecurities against you and it was a dick move.

i promise i'm trying to act more rationally, it's just hard because i'm a little crazy without you. it sounds corny but it's true so. i just miss you and i wish we had longer before i went and messed it all up. i've wanted to have you for practically my whole life it feels like and i shouldn't of let you slip away so easily so i'm sorry for that too.

you don't have to believe me. you don't have to say anything about this once you've read it. you don't have to forgive me. you can go the rest of your life hating me if that's what you want. just please, know i'm sorry, aurora. you don't have to forgive me now but i hope you do eventually somehow. i'll wait. just know i'm here and i'm yours. don't really think there's anyone else for me so.

oh and i don't really know what order you're reading these notes in so this is kinda awkward but incase you're confused, the other note is what i originally wrote to you in fifth grade. please ignore the bad grammar i was like 11.

matt

aurora's heart is aching even more when she puts this one down, now guilt creating an entire pool in her stomach. the entire reasoning she's based around hating him has been pointless, making all the years of bickering with him and denying her feelings for him pointless as well.

she had based her entire thought process around that stupid fucking note becca made. her plan worked exactly how she wanted.

see, when aurora first read the note she was definitely upset. she was beyond upset for a fifth grader and instantly put her guard up, setting to hate matt for the rest of her life because of how foolish he made her feel. she didn't express the hatred at first though, just tried ignoring him.

they hadn't even immediately jumped to screaming and calling each other names right after every thing went down, it was a slow transition.

it was a transition made by matt as well, not aurora. she was perfectly fine with it of course though, she just wasn't the one to instigate it. she had told herself she could ignore matt for the rest of her life but matt didn't like that.

with reading the notes given to her, it makes it a little clearer why he was the one to begin the voicing of their hatred. because he fucking liked her in elementary school. he always liked her, just as much as she liked him.

it makes aurora feel like complete and utter shit, her mind practically spinning like a merry go-round with all the possibilities and 'what if's.' she had her best friend in the world taken away from her all because of some girl she literally forgot about after seventh grade. she was tricked and lost all the memories they could've made, all the happiness they could've had together—all ruined by a stupid fucking note. endless bickering all because of a stupid fucking note that wasn't even actually real.

it makes aurora look back on all their years of arguing and insulting each other with a new ache to her heart. she has him now yeah, but she could've had him then too if someone else didn't set out to ruin every thing for her.

if only she had known then, if only she could've seen things from matt's perspective.

ˢⁱˣᵗʰ ᵍʳᵃᵈᵉ

matt sits at a bench on the playground, huffing to himself quietly every five seconds.

chris and nick are a bit away from him, both sitting on swings as they talk to aurora sitting on top of the monkey bars. matt doesn't even know why he came and why they're at the park when they're literally in middle school now but whatever.

aurora hasn't spoken to him once. well, yeah, she has, but it's so short he wouldn't even consider it speaking. he relentlessly attempted to talk to her at the beginning of the school year but she just ignored him. it started to make him really mad so he just gave up. he just didn't understand. they were supposed to be best friends forever and now all he gets from her is a short 'sorry' when she accidentally bumps into him? how is that fair?

every thing has just been so unfair to him. whatever he did was just him apparently because she still talks to his brothers. she's friends with his brothers, even. she comes over to hang out with them and doesn't even glance at matt once which is just bullcrap! she told him he'd be her best friend no matter what and now she talks to his brothers more than him? he was the one who freaking introduced them!

he's so mad and sad and just confused. he wishes she would talk to him or at least look at him! it's been months now and he's still not used to her not being his friend anymore. he's starting to feel like it's just something he won't get used to which honestly makes him even more mad and even more sad.

the weather resembles his mood as well because it's wet and gloomy. it rained all of last night so there's puddles everywhere and the roads are wet. it's an extremely bad day to come to the park but whatever, he doesn't have a say in that anymore, he guesses.

the three end up getting up and playing a game of tag and matt is just so mad. nick asks him if he wants to play and he rolls his eyes and gives a short, "no." nick instantly backs down.

aurora used to beg matt to play tag with her in elementary school and he always gladly did because it was their. thing. theirs!

but it's not now and it makes him so angry. he has a deep frown on his face as aurora's about to run past him on the bench so chris can't tag her but matt is just so mad. he glances down at the puddle of water in front of him and doesn't really think it through when he pushes out his foot. aurora trips over it and lands directly in the muddy puddle.

aurora gasps as she comes in contact with the water, quickly pushing herself up with her elbows. chris instantly stops in front of her, jaw dropping. nick looks over and his jaw drops as well, coming over to the scene.

chris looks to matt with wide eyes. "why would you freaking do that?"

matt shrugs, keeping his scowl persistent. "felt like it."

chris' lips twist downwards and he shares a look with nick as nick helps the girl up. there is a deep fury written all over auroras face and when she's finally stood up, her shirt and pants drenched in water, she looks to matt and all he feels is satisfaction.

"you are so mean, matt," she tells him harshly, matt's heart dropping slightly but the feeling gets overshadowed by the fact that she's actually talking to him. "i hate you so much."

matt hates that those words are leaving her lips but it's better than nothing leaving them at all. so, he spits out a careless, "well, i hate you more."

aurora just narrows her eyes at him, her scowl deepening, before turning on her heels and storming off.

they all end up walking to marylous car in silence so she can take them home. when they get there, nick tells her what happened and the cause of auroras wet clothes. marylou scolds matt and let's aurora sit in the passenger seat.

throughout the entire ride, aurora sits with her arms crossed and continuously shoots matt glares from her seat.

matt feels like crap deep inside but he refuses to show that on the surface. being mean to aurora has gotten her to talk to him so if pretending to hate her is what he has to do for her to actually pay attention to him, he will. he'd rather have her like this than not have her at all!

ᵉⁱᵍʰᵗʰ ᵍʳᵃᵈᵉ

aurora walks to the lunch table with a bright grin on her face, making matt quickly roll his eyes. he's gotten very good at pretending like he hates her.

she sits in her usual seat next to raven, a friend she had made last year that she introduced to the triplets. matt actually likes raven, she's nice and he'd consider her a friend. he knows how to be friends with people aurora is also friends with considering the fact that his brothers are nick and chris.

she lets out a loud breath, insinuating the fact that she has something to say. matt internally prepares himself as everyone looks to her. she grins at everyone. "jessie matthews is gonna sit with us today!" she tells them brightly, matt and chris' faces instantly falling.

"jessie matthews?" chris exclaims in shock. "no way. i hate that guy."

"yeah," matt instantly agrees with a huff, glad someone else thinks it so he has a reason to express his distaste. jessie matthews is not good for aurora, in no world should he ever be sitting next to her!

auroras face instantly scrunches up, glaring at matt for speaking and then looking to chris with narrowed eyes. "what has jessie matthews ever done to you, chris?"

"uh, a lot?" chris answers obviously, crossing his arms. "he's mean and has dated like every single girl in our grade ever."

"i don't care," aurora instantly responds, chris looking at her dumbfounded. "he can date me next!" she says confidently, a pleased smile on her lips like she's proud of her interest in him.

matt's. jaw. drops. "that's gross, aurora," he spits, disgust written all over his face.

her face instantly drops and she turns to him. "i wasn't talking to you, matt!" she exclaims quickly before turning to everyone else as matt sits further in his seat with a huff. "apparently he told one of his friends that he's gonna kiss me after lunch is over too."

everyone collectively gasps and nick speaks up with wide eyes, "you haven't had your first kiss yet though."

"well, i'm about to!" she responds easily.

matt's jaw is on. the. floor. "why would anyone ever want to kiss you?" he manages an insult as he ignores the way his heart drops.

"because i'm actually likable," she responds as she turns to him with a glare. "unlike you, matt."

matt huffs. "you have the comebacks of a seventh grader."

"we were in seventh grade last year, you idiot!"

"don't care, didn't ask."

"whatever," aurora lets out a large breath and crosses her arms. "you're just mad because i'm about to have my first kiss and you still haven't."

"uh no," matt responds dubiously. "if i wanted to have my first kiss right now, i could."

"oh yeah?" she challenges, the rest of the table sharing a look and leaning forward in their seats. "who would ever kiss you?"

matt leans forward in his seat as well, shrugging easily. "i know like two girls that like me right now."

"i don't believe you."

"okay then," matt stands up with a challenging anger on his face. "watch!"

matt prances across the cafeteria with the entire table watching him, stopping when he reaches a blonde girl from his english classes lunch booth. he taps on her shoulder to grab her attention. she instantly raises her head and turns to see him, her eyes widening. "hey, can i sit with you?" he asks with a light tone.

the girl blushes slightly and her friends around her giggle before she nods her head and scoots over in her seat. matt smiles and sits down next to her.

he talks to the nervous girl for a while and glances over at aurora sitting at their table through it all. annoyance is written all over her face, despite the fact that jessie matthews has actually taken a seat next to her now. her attention is on matt instead of her crush, and that gives matt all the confidence for what he's about to do.

he looks away from auroras narrowed eyes and instead to the blonde girl next to him. he leans in a bit and whispers a quiet, "could i kiss you?"

her eyes widen comically and her cheeks turn tomato red as her friends around her all quiet to giddy whispers. she recovers from the question for a few seconds before hesitantly nodding her head.

matt leans in and gives a short kiss. it's only a peck because well, matt's never really kissed anyone before obviously. he makes sure the contact lingers for a couple seconds at least before pulling away. the girl is cute and he does kind of feel bad for using her to make aurora mad.

when he glances in auroras direction though, the guilt goes away. everyone at the table is jaw dropped except for jessie who is just kind of there, but matt's eyes are on aurora. her eyes are narrowed into thin slits and her jaw is clenched, matt almost feeling like she's trying to kill him by looking at him.

all he feels is satisfaction.

he really, really likes making aurora angry. he's honestly forgetting that the whole hatred thing is supposed to be pretend. it's just so easy.

matt grins at auroras angered state and turns back to the blonde girl next to him.

his happiness doesn't last that long though because he's quickly told in the next period after lunch that aurora and jessie do kiss. they kiss and it's more than a peck, there's actual movement and apparently it goes on for longer that matt kissed the random girl.

it makes matt's stomach turn, the thought and knowledge of aurora kissing someone. he only ever kissed someone else in spite of her but she kissed this guy because she likes him and actually wants to? that's so gross.

at least he didn't have to watch her kiss him. he's not sure what he'd do if he ever had to watch that happen.

ˢᵒᵖʰᵒᵐᵒʳᵉ ʸᵉᵃʳ

matt has gym as his last period of the day and he's finishing putting on the shirt he originally changed out of in the locker room when chris peaks his head through the door.

"hey, aurora said to hurry the fuck up so we can go already," chris calls out, making matt clamp his eyes shut annoyedly before turning around.

"tell aurora to shut the fuck up and walk home then," he respond easily with a blank look. he is beyond exhausted and ready to get home, he doesn't have time for auroras antics today.

chris' eyes widen slightly from his brothers snappy tone before disappearing behind the door.

once it's closed, matt turns back around to close his locker. his movements freeze for a moment though when some guy a few lockers down from him speaks up, "yo, you talking about aurora sorenson?"

matt's face scrunches up slightly because why is a guy talking to him about aurora right now? he closes his locker and turns to face the guy, recognizing him as some guy named aaron from the grade above him. "yeah?" he answers questionably.

"oh cool," he speaks easily, pulling a shirt over his chest with a sigh. "she's a fucking bitch, bro. pretty sure one of my boys tried to get with her once but she's just too stuck up, you know?"

matt's body goes tense. there's a lot of guys in school that matt hates. the fact that he hates them all because they either like aurora too much or dislike her too much? purely coincidental. he shakes his head at the guy. "no need to call her a bitch. don't talk about her like that."

his eyebrows furrow a smidge and he straightens the shirt he put on, looking at him questioningly. "you literally just told her to shut the fuck up and walk home."

"yeah, i did," he says like it's the easiest thing to understand in the world, which it is. "it's different when it's from me."

"so you're telling me i can't say shit about her but you can?" aaron chuckles dryly, looking at him as if he's stupid.

matt keeps his harsh tone though. "that's exactly what i'm saying," he takes a step closer to him to get in his face just a little bit. "she's mine to hate, not yours."

aaron glances over him dumbfounded before reaching a hand out to push his chest, resulting in matt taking a step back. "all you're sounding is like her little bitch, bro," he tells him with a lighthearted tone like the subjects funny. "yknow everyone at school says either one of two things about you: it's that you hate her guts or that you've got a thing for her. honestly just looks like the second one but it's good, i won't tell anyone." he chuckles.

matt narrows his eyes at him. "i don't have a fucking thing for her and i'm not her little bitch," he begins, missing the way chris enters through the door with aurora behind him. chris comes in to make sure she doesn't accidentally see any dicks or something. she's just here to yell at matt to hurry up but her goal is paused when he's already speaking.

"aurora could disappear off of the earth or just die completely tomorrow and i couldn't give a fuck less. she doesn't matter at all to me, she's just friends with the same people i am. in no world would i ever fucking have feelings for her, let alone even care about her or be considered 'her bitch,'" matt defends himself in a quick rant, his words coming out at a steady pace.

aaron glances past matt, spotting aurora and chris leant against the wall and a slight smirk forming on his lips. aurora's heart seems to be on the floor judging by the look on her face.

she doesn't realize that after matt's quick like of defense, he already had an entire essay planned in his head to spit out at aaron for saying a single rude thing about her. he even begins speaking it. "even besides that, that still doesn't give you any fucking right to-"

aaron cuts him off by stepping forward and walking past him with a shove to his shoulder. his eyes go to aurora. "oh hey, aurora," he speaks easily, matt's eyes widening and him immediately turning around.

his heart drops when he sees her standing there. out of all things, that is not what he wanted her to hear.

auroras arms are crossed and she manages to hide the hurt she feels with a sarcastic, "wow, you really know how to compliment me, matt."

"yikes," aaron speaks up and glances back at matt like this is funny. he begins making his way to the door, pausing once he passes by aurora and glancing over her. "looking good." he so obviously tries to make matt mad before continuing his walk out through the door.

two-faced fucking bitch.

aurora doesn't even respond, just rolls her eyes. chris glances at matt and then aurora. he awkwardly clears his throat and begins making his way through the door.

aurora shoots matt a dirty look before beginning to make her way out as well but matt runs a hand through his hair and catches up with her, grabbing her wrist before she can exit. "aurora, look i-"

"no, matt, don't," she cuts him off with a shrug, pulling her wrist from his grip harshly. "i'm glad we're on the same page."

matt's lips twist downwards and aurora leaves.

ʲᵘⁿⁱᵒʳ ʸᵉᵃʳ

the group is all going to a party and since aurora is decidedly in a phase where she does anything and every thing to make her step father mad, she tells everyone she's going to try drinking for the first time tonight. matt rolls his eyes and tells her 'that's a stupid fucking idea' and she tells him 'shut the fuck up.'

venus, their new friend they made a week ago who has tagged along for the first time on a group outing, asks if they're always like this and everyone undoubtedly answers with yes.

they eventually make it to the house and aurora instantly heads for the kitchen, sighing happily at all the sorts of alcohol on the counter. "so many options. wow."

"this is the stupidest thing you've ever done," matt speaks blankly, coming to stand across from her at the other side of the counter. chris, who plans to head elsewhere, walks with him with an amused half-smile. "you don't have to get drunk just to make your dad mad, you fucking idiot."

aurora groans as she opens a bottle of pink whitney because it looks the most appealing. "why are you here? go away already."

matt rolls his eyes and places his hands on the counter, leaning forward slightly. "if anyone's going to watch you make a ridiculous fool out of yourself, it's me."

aurora just gives him a blank look before grabbing a shot glass and pouring the alcohol into the tiny glass. matt watches her as she looks at the glass with a determined look and chris watches him watching her amusedly.

aurora eventually takes in a breath and grabs the shot glass, throwing her head back and downing it in one gulp. "gross," she speaks with her face scrunched up once she's swallowed it, setting the glass down. "i'm gonna need another."

matt shakes his head disapprovingly and chris sighs, finally speaking up with a, "matt, can you please get your shit together and just make a move already? it actually physically pains me to watch this shit."

matt's face instantly coils up in disgust and he turns to look at him. "what the fuck? no. i don't like aurora and would never make a move on her. that's disgusting."

"then why are you standing here watching her take shots instead of enjoying the party?" he challenges.

matt pauses for a moment before giving an obvious, "to make sure she doesn't do something fucking stupid?"

"exactly," chris responds knowingly, patting his shoulder with a grin before walking away. matt just looks at his retreating brother weirdly.

it's only an hour later when aurora is absolutely plastered. she is clearly a light weight and matt's trying to make sure she doesn't get alcohol poisoning like the fucking dumbass she is.

she's talking to venus when raven—who by the way, has a very obvious crush on venus—comes over. aurora wiggles her eyebrows at them obnoxiously before stumbling away. matt watches as she does so and mistakenly makes eye contact with her, causing her to prance over to him.

"hello, matthew," she giggles and her voice is so slurred with alcohol that matt wants to puke all over her. it's ridiculous that she's doing this to make her step dad angry.

"fuck off, aurora," he grumbles, looking away from her.

"well, you're no fun," she sighs loudly, placing her hands on her hips and glancing around the room. she eventually settles on looking at one person and gasps, nudging matt and making him sigh.

"what?" he snaps.

"do you think that guys hot?" she questions, lazily pointing her arm up at some guy standing in the living room talking to his friends.

matt's jaw ticks with annoyance. "no."

"i do," she grins at him, him turning to look down at her with disgust. "i'm gonna say hey. wish me luck."

she begins to turn and walk in that direction without waiting for a response from matt and he rolls his eyes, stopping her by grabbing her wrist. "you're drunk," he states blankly once she looks back at him.

"aaaand?" she questions, motioning her hand out to the direction of the guy. "he's got a drink in his hand and it's okay if we're both drunk. duh."

matt's eyes narrow. "aurora—"

he gets cut off when she pulls from his grip and quickly walks away with a giggle, his jaw clenching further than it already was. she's always testing his fucking patience.

he watches her approach the guy and he instantly seems pleased to be in conversation with her, his friends sharing a look and going elsewhere. matt's face scrunches up and he doesn't take his eyes off of them.

as they're talking, the guys back is turned on matt so all he can see is aurora's giddy expression. he watches his arm reach out to touch her as he talks and the way aurora leans in slightly closer to him and okay great, he's going to have to watch this.

the guy moves his hands to rest on her waist and aurora leans in until they're inches apart. one of her hands come to wrap around the back of his neck and aurora looks past him to make eye contact with matt. she sends him a smug grin and turns her hand on the guys neck into a middle finger before breaking eye contact and closing her eyes as she leans in to kiss him. the grip matt's hand has holding a red solo cup filled with water tightens and his blood boils. he's sure he might snap a bone in his jaw if he clenches it any harder.

he has never fucking hated aurora more than in this moment, when she's kissing some random guy in front of him. she flipped him off before she did it like it's some funny game, like she doesn't know the effect she has on him, like it doesn't start an entire fucking fire in his heart from seeing her so close to another guy.

has matt ever been that close to aurora? no. should anyone other than matt ever be that close to her though? no. it's just not right. he hates that random guy, he hates this, he hates aurora, and he hates the way he feels. he fucking hates every bit of it.

the guy breaks away from the kiss and aurora is grinning when he grabs her hand and tries to take her elsewhere. matt really can't put up with this though, so he cuts in.

matt storms over there and just as the guy begins to pull aurora elsewhere, matt grabs ahold of auroras other wrist. the guy quickly lets go in surprise and matt moves aurora behind him. "she's drunk," he tells him quite blankly, glancing over his calm state. "way more than you, so fuck off."

the guy raises his eyebrows, thinking of something to say before just shrugging. he murmurs a, "whatever, man," and walks away.

matt sighs of relief and turns around to meet auroras ridiculously annoyed face.

"what the actual fuck, matt!" she slurs, raising her hands to rub at her temples. "you ruin every thing."

"oh what? you think i enjoy doing this?" matt remarks, annoyance clear in his tone. "i'm the one taking the time out of my night to make sure you don't make a fucking fool out of yourself."

"yeah well, i didn't ask you to do that!" she exclaims, raising her arms to enthuse her anger. "i was having fun with that guy—who by the way, is named owen—before you fucking messed every thing up!"

"yeah and owens already looking for some other girl to drunkenly make out with," he tells her knowingly and quite harshly. "i'm the one who has to fucking take care of your drunk ass."

"you don't have to do shit! god, you're so confusing and so annoying," she groans, beginning to turn around and try to walk off.

matt grabs ahold of her wrist though, for like the fiftieth time.

"leave me alone, oh my god," she sighs, turning back around at his hold on her.

"no," he responds shortly. "you're so drunk that you could pass out at any point. i'll find a room for you to sleep in. no way you're gonna keep walking around here like a fucking dumbass."

auroras face scrunches up with offense and she opens her mouth to assumedly yell something but matt is already beginning to drag her in a different direction by his hold on her wrist. she rolls her eyes. "whatever."

he eventually finds a room after walking in on three couples making out and locks it behind them. aurora is practically passed out from all the walking they did and when matt walks her by the bed, she legitimately falls on it. he rolls his eyes.

"matt?" she groans, her face in the pillow from how she fell onto the bed.

"what?" he sighs, standing by the side of the bed she's laid out on. he rubs at his eyes from all the work he's had to do because of her.

she raises her head and turns over on her side to face him. "please never let me drink again," she begs in a slur.

"yeah, okay," he agrees sarcastically. "i'll try my best."

aurora rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything else. she begins to stare at him and his eyebrows scrunch together a tad, growing a little uncomfortable by her drunk stare. she eventually whispers a quiet and hurried, "matt, quick, come down here for a second."

he rolls his eyes but does it nonetheless, leaning down so he's close enough to be in her reach. she grins when he is and catches him completely off guard when she raises a hand to quite literally, boop his nose. his eyebrows raise to the top of his forehead and aurora sighs, "sorry. your nose is like veryyy cute."

the words make his heart stop for a second and he glances over her face. she looks so soft and vulnerable, reminding him of when they were younger. it takes him back to a place he's long forgotten now but the slur behind it snaps him out of it. she's extremely drunk, not having a clue what she's saying.

he sighs and stands up, straightening his back. "your words are slurred and not making any sense," he tells her blankly, watching her just blink at him. "go to sleep."

she rolls her eyes like it's the most annoying thing in the world she's been told to do and turns over on her side so her back is to him. "whatever."

in five minutes, she's out like a light. matt glances over her sleeping figure that, once again, reminds him of when they were younger. he sighs to himself and takes a seat at the end of the bed.

he thinks back to all her recklessly drunk behavior tonight and sighs again. he hates her, sure, but he doesn't have a clue what he'd do if he lost her.

aurora looks down at the notes in front of her, both folded out for the words to stare at her almost teasingly. she almost wants to rip them to shreds and scream because what the fuck? why did she have to miss out on so much because of some girl from elementary school?

it's ridiculously unfair. she hates the world and she hates becca monroe. she doesn't hate matt though, she loves him. her face scrunches up at that because yeah, that's gonna take some getting used to.

she takes out her phone with a sigh, knowing what she needs to do after today with matt and the letters in front of her. she clicks on her messages app and then ross' contact that she's only really texted like twice with.

she types out a message and reads over it a couple times, deciding on if it seems too harsh or ominous. it doesn't, she decides. so, after postponing it internally for a few seconds, she finally clicks the blue button and watches as the 'delivered' button appears.

rory
hi, we really need to talk. could you meet me somewhere? like today pls

💌

matt and aurora pre chapter one content 🤔🤔 matt's letters 🤔🤔 aurora talking to ross next chapter 🤔🤔 aurora knowing becca wrote the note 🤔🤔 so much going on

lowkey did this entire flashback chapter because i realized i hadn't used chris' quote yet and needed to find a place for it but it was worth it bc we got to know more ab matt and auroras original hatred 👍👍👍

this is also 7k words and it's 12am and i'm exhausted so hey i'll see u tmr when it's like 10am and i'm proofreading this

also isn't it like totally crazy that chris hasn't had a love interest throughout this entire book like woah i wonder what that could lead to in the future that's like so crazy and unplanned

ALSO I JUST REMEMBERED jessie matthews is a reference to jessie matthews from obvious!!! funny guy

<3
jaden