CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE !
[ real life ]

❝ BE WITH ME ❞

📂﹖﹕𓂃𐩐💻

ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ

when aurora wakes up to her school alarm blasting in her ear, a massive wave of confusion washes over her. she forgot that last night was a school night.

she also wakes up to her head on matt's laps and her arms wrapped around his waist as he's sitting up and searching the bed for the vibrating phone. aurora awkwardly removes her arms from him and groans loudly, scooting over to the other side of her bed and covering her ears.

matt notices her movement and quickly removes her hands from her ears. "aurora, where the fuck did you put your phone?" he asks desperately, exhaustion radiating through his raspy voice.

"i don't know, matt, obviously somewhere in the bed since the blankets are fucking vibrating," she speaks obviously, rubbing at her face.

matt rolls his eyes and continues his search through her bed, eventually coming across her phone at the very bottom of the bed underneath her comforter and sighing of relief when he finally turns the alarm off. he turns to her, dumbfounded as he's still sitting up. "why the actual fuck is your alarm set so early?"

"because i like to take my time getting ready in the mornings," she answers with a sigh, turning over and flopping on her stomach so her face is planted into her pillow.

matt just groans at her stuffing her face in her pillow, leaning forward and yanking it from under her. she instantly raises her head, mouth completely agape in offense. "you've gotta get up so we can go to school," he reminds her.

aurora narrows her eyes at him, raising up and turning to sit up like he is. "there's genuinely no way i'm going to school today."

matt blinks. "wasn't your mom just getting pissed at you yesterday for skipping?"

"yeah but it's not like she can beat my ass if she's not here," she shrugs. it's a little sad but it's true.

matt just lets out a sigh before his eyes suddenly widen like a cartoon characters. "oh fuck," he instantly straightens up further and reaches for his phone on the night stand on his side of the bed. "all i sent to chris and nick last night was a half-assed text saying i was staying somewhere else for the night. i completely forgot i have to fucking give everyone rides."

"shit," auroras eyes widen slightly as well before she begins to feel a little guilty. she watches him type something out speedily and shakes her head. "i'm sorry. i should've just told you to leave last night. i didn't mean to—"

"aurora stop," he immediately cuts her off, pausing his typing and looking up to her with the same soft eyes he's been looking at her with since last night. "i wanted to stay so i did. i don't regret it. i'll just have kingston pick everyone up or something."

"okay," she sighs, trying to push past the slight guilt still there. "you could still pick everyone up though. it's still really early."

"yeah i know but you want to skip," he says as if it's obvious before looking back down at his phone and continuing typing.

"that doesn't mean you couldn't still pick everyone up and go. like you don't have to miss school because of—"

"aurora," he cuts her off, shutting his phone off after clicking a button and giving her a blank look. "stop doing that. i'm not doing anything i don't want to. i want to be with—want to be here with you and go back to sleep."

auroras eyes soften and she nods. "okay."

matt looks at her for a moment longer than usual when his phone vibrates. he looks down at it and the corner of his lips immediately quirks upwards. "and now i can," he says, moving his phone back to the nightstand it was sat on before.

"did kingston say he'll pick everyone up?" aurora questions, moving her pillow behind her and moving further along the bed so she can lay back.

"yeah," matt answers simply, letting out a small yawn and doing the same as her to lay down. "i'll deal with the repercussions of marylou later."

aurora grins momentarily at the subject of the boys mother. "how is marylou doing? i miss her."

"just doing the same she always is," he murmurs simply, resting his head against the pillow behind him and pulling the covers to his chest. aurora has pretty much already cozied up and cocooned herself with the blanket.

"ah," she responds shortly and he can tell by the way her voice grows quieter and her eyes obviously grow heavier, she'll be knocked in a couple minutes.

"mhm," he hums.

he watches as her eyes begin to close but she keeps herself awake for some reason to speak up quietly with, "hey, matt?"

"yeah?" his brows furrow just a smidge.

"thank you for last night. really," she says, her voice a soft one.

matt's heart swells in his chest. "you don't have to thank me," he practically whispers.

"yes i do," she argues weakly from how tired she is. "you're always there."

it is genuinely crazy how a simple three words can get matt's heart beating out of his chest. aurora just does things to him. it's fucking insane.

and she's completely unaware of the effect she has on him too. she doesn't even realize it with how tired she seems to be. she lets out a yawn and blinks at him. "okay i'm going to go back to sleep now," she tells him quietly. "goodnight, matt."

"goodnight, aurora," he responds to the girl, the small softish smile on his face slightly dropping when she turns over to face her back to him.

is she sleeping with her back facing him? it's such a little thing that she could've not even meant to do but it's so weird. it's weird, it's weird, it's weird. him sleeping in a bed with aurora without her immediately being in his arms is already weird enough and now she's sleeping not even facing him? it's insanely fucking weird.

it's weird and it's a reminder of the place they're in. despite him being there for her, he's still not in her good graces. he still messed up. she's still a distance away from him that is just too fucking far.

he looks away from where he was staring at her back like a fucking creep and looks to the ceiling instead. all of a sudden, despite his exhaustion from being up so early, he can't find it within himself to actually fall asleep.

aurora wakes up only an hour after she first fell asleep because she needs to use the bathroom. she's still ridiculously tired and rubs at her eyes for a good while before attempting to move.

she sits up slowly, not wanting to wake up matt, when she realizes—where is matt? because he definitely isn't in the bed next to her.

a frown immediately takes over her lips and she gets out of bed quicker than her pace before. she leaves her room and heads for the bathroom, doing her business and brushing her teeth very fast while she's in there.

she then heads down the stairs with the same frown present on her face, glancing around as she reaches the floor and looking for a sight of matt. he didn't just leave, did he?

she quickly walks past the living room because the tv's not on so he obviously wouldn't be in there but wait—yes he is in there. there's a recognizable blob of brunette hair sat on the big couch. she internally sighs of relief.

she walks towards him, eyebrows furrowing slightly when she notices he's leant forward with his chin in the palm of his hand. his head is downcast and she can't directly see his face. "matt?" she questions, coming to stand in front of him a couple feet away. "why are you already up so early? it's only been like an hour."

matt weirdly doesn't look up at her, removing his hand from his chin and rubbing at the back of his neck instead. he keeps his head down and mumbles a quiet, "couldn't sleep."

"why?" auroras face scrunches up, confused. he was just as exhausted as her. he takes too long to answer while his eyes are still on the floor and aurora speaks up again, "and why won't you look at me? what is it?"

matt freezes for a moment. she can notice how his body momentarily goes stiff like he wasn't expected to be called out on his lack of eye contact. he still doesn't look up at her even after being called out and now, that is fucking weird. he eventually shakes his head slightly to himself and runs an anxious hand through his hair. "i hate this," is what finally leaves his mouth.

"what?" aurora frowns, taking a step closer to him. "hate what?"

"every thing," he answers desperately, voice coming out with a huff of air. "i hate that i messed up. i hate that you're with ross. i hate that besides yesterday, all we ever do anymore is argue. i hate the tone of your voice when you say my name now. i hate that i had you before and now i don't. i just—i hate this and it's all my fault."

every thing leaves his mouth so fast in a ramble that it takes aurora a moment to even process every thing said. it also makes her realize he must've been keeping it in for a while. her face twists up and she sighs, "matt." she steps completely in front of him now and reaches her hand out to grab a loose hold of his chin and raise his head up so he'll actually meet her eyes.

when she actually tilts his head up for her to see though, she freezes. her face falters when she meets his eyes. they're glistened over with a glossy layer of tears threatening to spill, catching her completely off guard because of how genuinely upset he is. her eyes soften and she has never folded so fast in her entire life. "matt..." she repeats again, now in a whisper as she glances over his sorrowful features. he looks almost ashamed, of himself or the fact that she caught him being emotional over it, she doesn't know.

"i'm sorry," he finally lets out. his voice is so quiet she can hardly hear him. "i'm sorry i kissed becca and i'm sorry i brought your step dad into our argument a while ago. i—i'm sorry i keep hurting you. i'm just.."

he trails off for a moment, closing his eyes at he struggles with his words before finally coming up with a raw, "i'm just scared."

auroras eyebrows furrow and her hand drops from his chin. "what are you scared of?" she questions, now massively confused as her voice stays quiet as well.

"how you make me feel," he admits, blinking and his face scrunching up as he feels a tear fall from his eyes. he curses himself internally for it but aurora is quick to catch the fallen tear. her hand cups his cheek as her thumb gently wipes the wetness from his face and matt kind of wants to cry more. aurora frowns at how vulnerable he looks to be right now and raises her other hand to rest against the back of his neck. she's never seen him so fragile before and the fact that it's because of her makes her almost just as fragile as him.

matt bites on the inside of his bottom lip to hold his emotions back because yeah, he is tearing up more from her touch. he lets out a breath that just sounds heart shattering to aurora and lowers his head to rest his forehead against her stomach. despite her touch seemingly making him cry right now, he feels the overwhelming urge to be close to her since he hasn't been so comforted by her presence in a while. he moves his head to the side so that he can nuzzle his cheek against her stomach and raises his arms to wrap around her waist. auroras frown deepens and the thumb of the hand she has on the back of his neck begins to stroke back and fourth soothingly as he speaks again.

"you make me feel all these things i'm not used to and i know i can't feel it with anyone but you and it's just—it's scary, aurora," he struggles. he goes silent for a moment and it's okay because aurora is patient and she's listening like he was doing the same with her yesterday. "i keep trying to act like i don't care but i do care. i care so much it's fucking scary. i'm not used to being without you. i had you in a different way before, through all the arguing and name-calling and i was always okay with that because it's all i knew but now—now i know what's it like to have you in a different way," he explains quietly. "i know it's unfair but i don't want to give it up—give you up. i can't give you up," his voice breaks and aurora has never felt as remorseful for another person like she has right now.

it doesn't matter that he hurt her, it doesn't matter in the slightest. she hears the rawness in his voice and the true regret shown by the tears leaving his eyes and she knows in her heart she doesn't have any more energy to continue being mad at him. she just can't. he's in front of her crying as he struggles to put his feelings into words and all she feels is sympathy.

"matt," she breathes, her hand moving from his neck to his hair. "it's okay. i forgive you, for all of it. i don't care about that anymore. i care about you."

she sighs, moving her hand off of his head and taking a step away from him so he'll fall away from her. his head hangs down to face the floor in front of him again before aurora takes the same step forward, now grabbing ahold of his cheeks with her hands. she forces him to look up at her and ignores the way her breath hitches slightly from his puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "i forgive you and i'm sorry," she says now. matt's eyebrows furrow and just as he opens his mouth to interject, she speaks again. "i'm sorry i didn't push away ross sooner at the party. i'm sorry i told you i didn't care about him and then gave him a chance. i'm sorry too."

matt falls silent to actually digest the fact that not only is she forgiving him, but she's also apologizing. his eyes jump back and fourth between both of hers staring back at him and asks a simple, quiet, "why are you with him?"

"i don't know," she responds quietly and truthfully. "maybe just to get a reaction out of you because it's all i'm used to doing."

"well, it worked," he lets out a pitiful, breathy chuckle before growing serious again. "seeing you with him hurts. seriously aurora, you don't realize the hold you have over me."

auroras eyes soften slightly and glaze over with remorse. she grows silent for a moment, her lips twisting to the side as she tries to find the right words. "i do know though," she tells him honestly. "you have the same hold over me and i felt the same hurt when you kissed becca. we feel the same things, matt."

he stares at her momentarily, eyes coming up with something she can't decipher for once. he eventually looks away. "it really seems like all we do is hurt each other."

aurora recognizes the tone of his voice and how this conversation could go the complete opposite of what she hopes for in the span of ten seconds and quickly decides to salvage it. "well, fuck that," she shrugs, capturing matt's attention again as he instantly looks back to her from her change of tone. "i've been hurting you because of my relationship with ross and," she pauses for a second, coming closer to him. "my hearts not in it, never really has been."

matt's eyes glance over her features, taking in her words with his lips parted slightly. his stare lingers on her lips for a second far too long before moving back to her eyes. "where's your heart then?"

aurora's lips turn upwards just a smidge because what a stupid question. she drops her hands from his face with a purpose. his face suddenly feels cold but he doesn't even get to focus on it because one of her hands is suddenly on his chest. "here," she speaks quietly. matt's eyebrows furrow and he looks down to where she's touching, realizing her hand is not just on his chest, it's on his heart.

matt's unsure of what to say for a while, hesitantly placing his hand on top of hers because it's all he can think of to do. he looks back up to her and notices how soft her eyes are. he loves that softness, craves it from her. he's almost one-hundred percent sure he's got the same softness present in his eyes right now. he knows she can feel the way his heart is beating rapidly. "it's yours," he eventually whispers.

"what?" her eyebrows scrunch together a tad, not fully getting it.

"my heart," he answers, aurora's lips parting just slightly. "it's yours, rory," he tells her, voice raw and serious. the use of the nickname makes her realize how long it's been since he's used something other than her full name and fuck, she missed it. her own heart has suddenly never felt as whole as it does right now. all she can hear is matt's voice and all she can feel is matt's heart beating against her and his hands. "you can do whatever you want with it. break it, tear it in two, fucking stomp all over it if that's really what you want to do. just know, it's yours."

her heart skips a beat in her chest from his words and she gets a feeling that seems familiar but isn't quite that. it's new. it's not hate. fuck, of course it's not hate. it makes the butterflies already present in her stomach ten times worse and she realizes she is completely screwed. her heart is just as much as matt's as his heart is hers, she realizes.

this feeling has been right in front of her face for god knows how long. it's been buried deep with years of arguing and bickering, pointless grudges, acts of disinterest, contests of who can act like they care less, and meaningless insults. she's been a complete and utter fool for not realizing sooner that she's got arguably the two most powerful feelings in existence mixed up.

she doesn't hate matt, she crossed that line a long, long time ago. it just hasn't been clear until now.

"matt?" she breathes.

"yeah?"

i'm in love with you.

"can i kiss you?"

he lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and easily responds with an, "always."

so, she does. her hands drop from his chest and instead cup both of his cheeks and as soon as their lips meet, matt's arms wrap around her waist to pull her closer. just like that, the war is over. their lips move in the same sync, like two perfect puzzle pieces falling into place and she can practically hear the world sigh of relief. the feeling is the same, the spark is the same, aurora is just now able to recognize the warmth in her heart.

she kisses him once, twice, and three times, nonverbally communicating the newfound love for him pouring from her heart and begging to be shared.

when they break apart after the third kiss, matt's hands rest at her hips and he lets out a breathless chuckle. "really missed kissing me that much?" he questions, a smugness to his voice that aurora has secretly missed.

of course that's his main takeaway from this. she rolls her eyes teasingly and murmurs, "shut the fuck up."

matt shakes his head disapprovingly but nonetheless responds with a short, "gladly." he quickly leans back in to kiss her once more and aurora grins through this one. this little shit has missed kissing her just as much as she missed kissing him. it's very clear.

matt breaks apart from her quickly with a grin. "it's really hard to kiss you when you keep giggli—"

"IT'S TEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING," a loud, booming voice from the staircase immediately kills the moment and aurora instantly jumps a few steps back to separate from matt. matt genuinely hops further back on the couch in shock. they both turn their heads to find a disapproving elijah. "this is absolutely disgusting. aren't you supposed to be in fucking school? just... genuinely what? what the fuck?"

"eli i..." aurora tries to say something but ultimately has nothing, looking away from him with her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"i need to bleach my fucking eyes, holy shit," he just groans, desperately rubbing at his eyes for a moment before looking at the pair with a hopeless expression. "i know i said i was rooting for you two but this is not what i meant. come on guys!" he exclaims. "all i wanted was fucking cereal."

aurora and matt just awkwardly glance around, avoiding eye contact with him. he groans loudly and walks off to the kitchen instead, shouting out a, "PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MAKING OUT UNTIL I AM SAFELY IN MY ROOM!"

aurora instantly covers her face in her hands, shaking her head repeatedly. "that is so embarrassing."

matt clamps his eyes shut and shakes his head back and fourth for a moment. eventually aurora pulls her hands from her face and watches as matt cowers slightly. "eli's never gonna look at me the same way."

"i'd just like to erase this from my memories," aurora says honestly, genuinely shivering.

matt nods his head in agreement before noticing his phone vibrating in his pocket and furrowing his eyebrows slightly. he pulls it out and glances over the lockscreen, his eyes widening. "oh fuck," he says, catching auroras attention as she walks over to him and he stands up. "marylou found out i skipped classes yesterday and am skipping today and it turns out she wants me to face the repercussions right now."

"shit," auroras own eyes widen. "you better go."

"yeah," matt agrees, a frown taking over his face as he slides his phone back in his pocket. "i'm sorry i can't stay longer."

"it's okay," she quickly reassures him.

he sighs, nodding slightly and reaching into his other pocket. his face grows a little hesitant and aurora watches curiously as he pulls something out. her eyebrows immensely furrow when she realizes they're two folded up notes. "here," he hands them out to her. "read these once i leave."

"notes?" she questions with a slight frown as she takes them from him. "i feel like we have a bad history with notes."

"well, things change," he sighs, taking in a deep breath. "okay now i really have to go so i don't get killed when i get home."

"okay," aurora laughs slightly, beginning to nod her head quickly and shoving his shoulder to rush him. "go, go, go."

he grins at her and nods, beginning to turn and walk away. aurora watches him leave with a grin on her face when right as he reaches the door, he freezes and turns back around. "fuck sorry, one last thing," he sighs, quickly making his way back over to her.

"what?" her eyebrows furrow, watching him until he stops dead in front of her.

"aurora..." he takes in a long breath before breathing out and speaking, "please don't go to homecoming with ross. don't be with ross," he pleads with her like he even needs to plead (he does not). just as aurora processes his words, he hits her with: "be with me."

aurora's heart soars.

the grin that takes over her face is uncontrollable. "well duh, you fucking idiot."

his face instantly washes over with relief and a grin takes over his features as well. "good," he breathes, quickly glancing around for a sight of elijah. when he doesn't see him anywhere, he leans forward and kisses aurora as fast as he can manage. aurora laughs through the kiss at his rush and he pulls away and lets out a large breath. "okay, now i've really gotta go. bye rory."

"bye matt."

the smile on her face as she watches him leave through the front door is honestly just embarrassing. maybe she's too in love with him.

💌

i know i know u don't believe ur eyes. THIRD DAY IN A ROW UPDATING WOOOOOKK (i wrote all of this at 11pm on monday for 3 hours and am now sleep deprived and proof reading this in a school bus omw to a field trip)

auroras in love guys!!!!!!!!!

matt is so crazy for saying "be with me" and not just "BE MY GF RORY!!!!" tho like dawg cmon how r we still here

haven't decided if this is the corniest thing i've ever wrote or the best i've ever wrote i'm tied in the middle sigh

also i'm pretty sure the heart scene is in a rlly popular book on booktok if i remember correctly??? i don't even know i hardly read actual books i need to get on that but credits to whichever book it was i saw u on pinterest and giggled

also x2 i feel like this fanfic becomes more and more fictional every chapter bc i can not for the life of me picture matt crying and saying all that bc he would definitely probably find it corny so reminder that this is fanfiction not fan truth🙏🙏🙏

<3
jaden