BEAT YOUR HEART OUT
5x14

There was no honeymoon, because they weren't really married. Although, they both wanted one.

If anyone asked, they didn't have enough money saved. Not only that, but Lexie was getting further and further into her intern year at the hospital, and she couldn't take a break now.

Rowan thought they should have at least taken a few days and just spent it away from the house, but Lexie didn't think so.

And Rowan agreed, to keep her wife happy.

Rowan sees Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd—two of her best friends—walking down the hall, looking at something in Derek's hand.

"That's dangerous," Marks eyes open wide. "People who carry guns are more likely to fire them."

"What are you guys talking— oh, that is very dangerous," Rowan nodded, following behind them.

"I'm ready to fire it," Derek keeps looking at the ring, only stopping to shoot a look towards Rowan. "That's not the problem. She's the problem. She spooks easy. I have to fire at the right time, in the right way, otherwise she'll panic and bolt."

"Okay, why are we talking in gun metaphors?" The woman shook her head. "What if we all were to get caught in a shooting?"

"Irrelevant," Derek put his hand up at Rowan. "She's not ready. Do you think she's ready?"

"I don't know."

"No."

"More importantly," Mark emphasized. "If you don't know, you shouldn't do anything until you do know."

"Dr. Sloan," Owen nodded as the trio passes them.

"Dr. Hunt," Mark nods back and follows him into an exam room, while Rowan and Derek keep walking.

"What's up with him?" Derek asked.

"I heard from one of the interns that someone broke his penis," Rowan shrugged. "It was someone who doesn't work here."

"I wonder which intern," Derek squinted, thought written across his face.

Rowan playfully pushes him before turning down the OB wing.

"See you later!" Derek chuckled as he continued walking down the same hallway.

"Maybe," Rowan responded.

💍

"She said a thing about babies—" Derek approached Lexie, Rowan and Mark, who were crowded around a nurses station. Lexie and Rowan who are behind the desk, doing Rowan's crosswords, and Mark who is in front, waiting as Derek finishes his statement. "You know, like babies were a totally ordinary idea. She's not afraid. She's ready."

"Ready for what?" Lexie breaks her way out of her and Rowan's little circle.

"Proposing," Mark said nonchalantly, but Lexie looks at Rowan with confused eyes.

"Way to drop one like that," Rowan responds sarcastically.

"What?" Mark shrugs like it was nothing.

"W— well when are you gonna do it?" Lexie stutters, standing up straight.

Mark puts his hand up and shakes his head, "The real question is are you actually going to do it?"

Derek glares at the man as Richard began questioning the neuro surgeon.

"I- I- I'm terrible at secrets, you know that," Lexie said to no one in particular. "H- how— especially to my own sister—"

"Okay, love, sit down," Rowan stood up, seeing that Lexie was getting slightly upset. She ushered Lexie into the chair she was sitting at, crossword book long forgotten.

Rowan pulled another chair from against the wall to sit beside her wife.

"Calm down," Rowan looked at her with her caring eyes. But her eyes are also silently saying to breathe before she spills a different secret.

Rowans hand lands on Lexie's knee, which comforts Lexie wildly.

Lexie looks up slightly to see if anyone was paying attention to the two—only Richard had been, but he was now looking away—but no one was looking down at them so her eyes come back to Rowan's.

"Okay, come on," Rowan grabs Lexie's hand and drags her away from the crowd that was forming around Derek.

"How am I supposed to.. act natural around Meredith? I'm on her service," Lexie rambles, and Rowan grabs her other hand, the two now standing in front of each other.

"Alexandra," Rowan nodded. "You are going to be okay. If you feel yourself coming close to spilling, page me, and I will calm you down. I'll bring you some food, because I know you stress eat. What do you want? Pizza..? Cookies..?"

Lexie opens her mouth to respond, but Rowan's pager begins to beep.

"Oh, that's a mother. Like I said, page me, and I'll come as quick as I can," Rowan let's go of Lexie's hands, and Lexie grabs the blondes face and kisses her.

"I will."

💍

The next time Rowan sees Lexie is when she comes out of the delivery room—not the same one she had been paged to earlier.

Lexie was waiting outside the room.

Rowan does a double take when she spots Lexie from the corner of her eye. She looks the second time, and it indeed is Lexie sitting on the ground.

She had her knees pressed against her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs for support. Her head rests in between her knees, which leads Rowan to believe she's most likely asleep.

Rowan crouches down to the floor, her hand finding Lexie's shoulder with a comforting touch. She gently shakes her awake.

Lexie lets out a sleepy "Hm?" and Rowan lightly shakes her to coax her out of her haze.

"Hey bubs," Rowans arm makes its way to Lexies back.

Lexie finally wakes up, and realizes where she is—passed out on the ground.

"Oh, I must've fell asleep," Lexie wiped her eyes. "I— I tried to wait for you outside, but you took to long and then I drifted off and—"

"Hey, hey, hey," Rowan shakes her head. "It's okay."

"—I— I didn't want to page you in case you were with a mom."

"Alexandra.."

"And so I asked a nurse, and they said you had gotten paged to a delivery room—this one—and so I came here. I thought it would be quick but I was wrong."

"What's wrong? Why were you looking for me?" Rowan tilts her head.

"I got stressed. I thought we could have lunch. But by the way my butt hurts, I'm pretty sure it's way past lunchtime," Lexie leans her head against the wall.

"I would say so," Rowan chuckled. "You should have went to an on-call room."

"It was an accident. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Okay, well, let's go get dinner then," Rowan stands up, her hand going out for Lexie to grab. "You can stress eat as much as you need."

i finally updated y'all.

it only took me a million
years but here we are.

also gonna try and update
something else soon too.